Hold On
By Dan'yu

Chapter Six: Miracle

She was beautiful in the baby blue sundress Kagura had picked out for her, complete with matching sandals, the ribbons holding back her hair in a darker shade of blue. Kyou smiled fondly. Even after everything that had passed between them, she was still so endearingly innocent, with the blush staining her complexion and her shy smile. She stood alone, oddly enough, Kyou noted as he crossed the crowded room toward her.

Uotani and Hanajima stood nearby, a respectful distance away but close enough to be to her rescue if there was trouble. As much as they tried to hide it behind small talk and glasses of punch, the worried glances they continually cast in her direction spoke volumes. It was obvious she had asked for privacy. The reason why was enough to make his heart sink.

She lifted her gaze towards him, and their eyes met. Keeping their gazes locked, Kyou struggled with himself, fighting against the overwhelming urge to run to her, hold her close to him, and never let go. He had never been good with words; it was inevitable that he tripped over his tongue or said the wrong thing. There was so much he wanted to say to her, so much that he could never say. The paradox warred inside, ripping into his heart as he came to a stop beside her.

Without a word, her hand briefly brushed against his, and they slowly made their way toward the doorway leading to the kitchen in an effort of privacy. Kyou was painfully aware of the rapt attention being paid to them by the pair of Jyuunishi in the corner, Hatori solemn as ever but guilt and pain evident in his stony expression, Shigure unusually serious and frowning.

She refused to look at him again, her eyes tracing over anything else but him, fidgeting uncomfortably; finally settling for standing demurely, her head bowed, hands folded before her.

Kyou gulped hard as he struggled to salvage what small shreds of courage he had left. "Tohru," he said simply, quietly.

When she did not answer, he stepped closer, reaching out to cradle her face in his hands, gently turning her head toward him. "Look at me, please."

She complied to his request, shocking him as she faced him, blue eyes slick with tears. She cupped her hands over his, closing her eyes against the threat of further tears, her body trembling. "G-Gomen. I really don't mean to cry. I told myself I wouldn't shed any tears."

"Koishii, it's alright." He brought her as close as he dared, resting his forehead against hers as he whispered reassurances into her ear, gentle words that brought comfort even as they made little sense. Her body wracked with silent sobs, and tears shone in her eyes, but they never fell. With a single shuddering breath to regain her composure, she faced him once more with a level gaze.

Kyou swallowed. "Tohru…"

Tohru struggled to give him a reassuring smile, the slight lifting of her lips too full of melancholy to accomplish her goal. She traced her fingers along the line of the jaw, feeling the contrast between the rough hint of stubble along his chin and the smooth skin of his cheek. "You don't have to say anything, Kyou."

"Even if I did, I don't think I could find the words." He paused for a moment, continuing with a soft sigh. "Tohru…about last night. Are you alright? I wasn't too rough, was I?"

This time, as she smiled, the gesture was genuine if still underlined with anguish, warming him inside to see the love so evident in her eyes. "No, Kyou. I'm fine. You were very gentle with me."

"You did what you set out to do, Tohru. You kept your promise to your mother."

She glanced at him, her eyes strangely bright. "H-Hai."

She touched her hands to his face, her skin warm against his, tracing her fingers over the contours and angles of his countenance, her eyes following every movement as if to put to memory every detail about him.

And suddenly she kissed him, her mouth a warm softness against his, and he enveloped her in his arms, deepening the kiss with all the desperation and pain he had locked away inside. He let the emotions wash over him, feeling as if he was drowning, wanting to beg her to never let him go, wanting her to make him leave so not to hurt her. As he pulled away, he was shocked once more to discover tears in his own eyes, but like her, he did not let them fall.

They stood together in the silence, for a single moment, for infinite eternity; it did not matter. They said not another word, even as Shigure and Hatori came to fetch him, and he kissed her once more, no longer caring who would see, grasping her hand until he could no longer hold on to her. She mouthed a silent "I love you," and he watched her until she disappeared from view, his limbs failing him as the two men resorted to dragging him between them, his heart screaming against everything.

"Have you decided what you're going to name him, Tohru-chan?" Kagura asked as she watched Yuki awkwardly settle the infant in his arms, any discomfort overshadowed by the awed expression he displayed.

Tohru watched the young man and infant interact with a smile, turning her attention to Kagura at her question. "Hai. I think I'd like to call him Katsuya."

"After your father?" Yuki asked, as he reluctantly handed Katsuya off to the next eager receiver, Momiji. "Be careful now, Momiji."

Momiji held the baby securely, but delicately in his arms. "I know. Support his head, just like Tohru said."

"Yes. After Dad," Tohru answered, her eyes on Momiji, who sat on the chair beside the hospital bed, his head bent over the child as he made comical faces to elicit the baby's first smiles.

"Don't hog him now, Momichi!" Ayame said with an exuberant flourish of his hand, "The rest of us want a chance to see this darling child as well." Behind him, Shigure was nodded vigorously in agreement.

"You two shouldn't be allowed near any child," Yuki commented darkly, as he glowered at them from his place at Tohru's side, "Who knows how you'll corrupt him."

Tohru reached out and lightly touched his arm, turning his attention back to her. "It's alright, Yuki-kun. Everyone should have a chance to hold him."

Kagura could not suppress her smile as she watched the way Yuki gave in without a second thought at Tohru's gentle insistence. Kyou had been much the same way, any bravado melting away in an instant in the wake of a smile or touch from Tohru. In light of what was supposed to be a happy occasion, she did her best to banish away the darker feelings that came with thought of Kyou, though it was not easy, especially with he and Tohru's son resting so peacefully now in Haru's arms, the ox's usual blank expression abandoned in favor of the same wonder they all seemed to display in the child's presence.

She could not help but think, that if she felt this intense a feeling of loss at the lack of Kyou's presence, she could not imagine the torment Tohru must be in. She and Kyou had found and lost each other in the matter of a day.

Kagura shook her head to dispel the depressing direction her thoughts had taken. Today was a call for celebration, and she was not going to ruin it with her melancholy. In an effort to distract herself, she tuned in to the quiet conversation taking place between Tohru and her friends.

"It's a nice thought," Uotani was saying, "To name the kid after your old man. Though it would have been cool if he had been a girl, and you could name him after Kyoko-san."

"Perhaps someday Tohru will have such a daughter," Hanajima replied vaguely, her gaze focused on the child in question, being passed along through the male members of the Jyuunishi. As dark and foreboding as the other woman seemed, Kagura could not help but take a liking to her, for she had seen displayed time and time again just how deep her devotion as one of Tohru's best friends was. Uotani was much the same way, a rough and tumble type of person to be sure; Kagura remembered hearing from Yuki or Kyou that she had once been a Yankee, but she was softhearted toward Tohru, and equally as protective and supportive as Hanajima. A person could not ask for better friends, especially for someone as loving and naïve as Tohru was.

Said naïve and loving girl blushed prettily as the implication of her having another child, shaking her head slightly. "Ano, I don't know about that. I'll have my hand full with Katsuya-chan for now, I think." She blinked, suddenly realizing what she had said. "Not that having Katsuya-chan is any kind of burden! I'm very happy to be a mother."

"Of course you are," Shigure told her, patting her hand as he balanced the dozing Katsuya in the crook of one arm, oblivious to Tohru's frantic gesturing, "But my dear flower, motherhood is a great burden! Especially for one so young! You can guarantee we will all be here to support you every step of the way."

"Be careful with that baby, Shigure!" Hatori snapped at him.

Shigure pouted in a child-like matter. "But Haa-san, I am being careful!"

Hatori took the baby for him then, scowling at the other man as he adjusted Katsuya's place against his shoulder, even more awkward with the newborn than Yuki had been. "Even the boys did not treat him like a sack of potatoes, Shigure. Yuki may have had a point about distancing you from such an impressionable child."

Shigure clutched his hand to his chest in a dramatic gesture. "You wound me, Haa-san. Truly you do."

As she watched Hatori exhaustedly rub his temples, a familiar habit of his whenever tired or stressed, Kagura noted a slight nervous twitch to his eye. She sympathized with him, for it was her experience that anyone with prolonged exposure to Shigure's erratic behavior was guaranteed to be driven a little crazy.

As he lowered his hands from his face, Hatori sighed, any exhaustion to be seen in his face fading into his habitual deadpan expression as he regarded Tohru. "Honda-kun, did everything check out with young Katsuya? Did everything go alright?"

Kagura smiled. That was Tori-san for you. Ever the professional doctor.

"Yes, Hatori-san," Tohru answered as she accepted the sleeping Katsuya once more, "Thank you for your concern. Dr. Mijuri-san said that Katsuya-chan was perfectly healthy."

"I'm glad to hear it."

Watching Tohru cradle her son close, her expression warm with a new mother's love and affection, Kagura felt a strange pang inside. She frowned as the source of the strange emotion eluded her, just a quiet kind of sadness that welled up inside. Whether it was her own lack of motherhood, or the familiar feeling of loss that came with the inability to hold any boy-child, or a remembered sorrow to mourn the lack of loving parents for many of her fellow Jyuunishi, she did not know.

Raising her head from her fussing over the sleeping infant, Tohru turned her gaze to regard each of them slowly, her eyes lingering slightly longer on Kagura herself, and then finally coming to rest on Kisa and Hiro.

"Hiro-san. Would you like to hold him?"

Hiro scoffed, looking away with a bored, slightly irritated expression. "Of course I don't," he replied nonchalantly. Kagura caught the flash of concern in his eyes, however, as he slid a sidelong look in Kisa's direction. His face clouded, and he made no secret of it this time as his eyes rested fully on Kisa. "Although, I think Kisa would like to."

A diverse number of reactions spread through the Jyuunishi and others present in the wake of Hiro's statement, varying between shock and surprise, caution and anger, pain and sadness, and the confusion generated by Uotani and Hanajima as they remained oblivious to the reason for the sudden tension in the room. Even Kisa looked at him with different degrees of shock and elation.

For her part, Hanajima hid her confusion well, even as it quickly faded into suspicion. Her dark eyes seemed impossibly knowing, eerily omnipotent as they passed over each person assembled, trying to decipher the mysteries about them, understanding implications only she could see. "Arisa," she said softly, "I think Tohru will be fine without us for a short time. Why don't we go to the cafeteria for some coffee? I'm sure it's probably not the best quality, but we could both use the extra momentum after such a long night."

Uotani regarded her with a bewildered glance, confused no doubt at the strange undercurrents to her friend's tone. In the end, she only shrugged. "Alright. We'll be back in a bit then. Okay, Tohru?"

Tohru's smile was bright and infectious. "Yes. Thank you so much, Uo-chan, Hana-chan. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for everything you've done for Katsuya-chan and I."

Kagura was not sure what shocked her more about the following reactions, the tears that suddenly appeared in Uotani's eyes, her exuberant embrace as she threw her arms around Tohru's neck, or the new light Hanajima's smile brought to her rather stoic face.

Uotani, who she had not known to be so emotional, was practically gushing. "Oh, you're so adorable, Tohru! And you don't have to thank us. You know we'd do anything for you."

The brightness of Tohru's smile became positively radiant. "Yes. That's why I must thank you. I have done little to deserve such wonderful friends."

When Hanajima finally managed to drag Uotani away, the room was once more enveloped in an uncomfortable, almost stifling silence. After everyone had remained frozen and unsure of themselves for several moments, Hatsuharu was the first to speak up. "Neither Kisa or Kagura-nee's zodiac form are very big," he said softly, "If we lock the door and keep watch, I don't see why they can't hold the little guy." He blinked, turning his eyes toward Tohru. "That is, if it's alright with Honda-san."

Tohru was momentarily startled as everyone's attention suddenly shifted toward her. "Oh! Of course it's alright. If Kagura-san and Kisa-san would like to?"

Kisa smiled, a hint of excitement creeping into her expression, but Kagura did her best to remain impassive despite the anticipation that swelled up inside her. Not even when her younger cousins were born, was she allowed to hold a male baby. If only such a thing could be allowed…

As expected, Hatori frowned sternly. "Hatsuharu, you know we can't risk such a thing. I'm sorry, Kagura, Kisa, but you know we can't-"

"And why not?" Yuki interrupted, the uncharacteristic sharp bite to his tone a sure sign of the stress of the past evening, "If Tohru says it's fine, why shouldn't they be given the chance?"

Hatori's frown deepened, adding lines to his stern face that Kagura had not realized were there before. Hatori was so serious, and so dedicated to protecting all of them; he would always look older than he really was.

The dragon gave in with a defeated sigh. "Fine. I'll wait outside the door. Yuki, Hatsuharu, make sure the door is locked after me, and make sure someone is nearby in case the transformation is triggered."

Yuki and Haru nodded, sharing a small smile between them as they did as told. Kagura moved obediently as Haru put a hand on her shoulder, guiding her to sit down in the chair they set before Tohru's bed. Yuki went to lock the door, as Haru stood behind her, a silent pillar of strength and support as he was for everyone. Yuki returned quietly to Tohru's side, lifting Katsuya from her, more deft and sure of himself now, and gently placed the baby in Kagura's arms.

The strange sensation of physical contact spread through her like wildfire, the small bundle of warmth instinctually nestling closer to her. Inwardly, she panicked as the tiny male body pressed into her, but she sensed the reassuring presence of the others nearby if anything went array. The warmth washed over her in a gentle tide, and Kagura's mouth curved into a small smile as she cradled the baby close, closing her eyes as she awaited the inevitable transformation.

A moment passed. And then a second, and a third. Several moments passed, but nothing occurred. Kagura's eyes flew open, incredulous, as she saw the same thunderstruck, amazed expression passing over the countenances of the people assembled.

"H-how is this possible?" Kagura said softly, hating the shaky quality to her own voice as she stared down at the child in her arms, still peacefully dozing and oblivious to the distress he was causing to his older counterparts. She suddenly felt the pressure of two large hands on her shoulder, angling back her head to see Haru's serene gray eyes staring back at her. She had not realized she had been trembling until he moved to steady her. She placed a hand over one of his, giving it a light squeeze as she quietly thanked him, leaning back against him.

Seeing the two of them regain their composure seemed to jolt the other occupants of the room back to reality. Realizing she had been gaping, Tohru blinked, mortified color staining her cheeks. Momiji was grinning so widely, Kagura was not sure if anything could outshine the radiance of his smile.

"Oi, Yuki," Haru said quietly, a hint of mischief in his eyes, "You might want to close your mouth. You'll catch flies that way."

Yuki quickly snapped his jaw shut, his blush vividly darker than Tohru's, sending an indignant glare in Haru's direction. Haru only grinned in response.

To get their attention, Hiro stomped his foot, folding his arms as his startled state formed into a scowl. "Joking aside, can anyone explain why Kagura-nee is able to hold that stupid woman's brat?"

Kisa lightly touched his arm. "Hiro-chan, you shouldn't talk that way about Oneechan and Katsuya-chan."

Hiro looked instantly guilty, and he sighed. "Alright. Gomen, Kisa."

Shigure exhaled sharply, brushing a stray lock of hair from his eyes as he regarded the company with a wry grin. "To be honest, Hiro-kun, I have no idea why Kagura-chan is able to hold Katsuya-kun. No matter what the reason, this is a cause for celebration, ne?"

Ayame beamed and clapped his hands together, delighted. "Yes, yes. This is a cause for celebration. I think dear Kisa-chan should have a turn, don't you think?"

"Of course, Aya! How could I be so thoughtless? I'm so glad you're here to provide such wisdom, Aya. What do you say, Kisa-chan?"

"Oh." Kisa smiled shyly, averting her eyes to stare at the tiled floor. "Um…yes, I would like that very much."

xx

Isuzu Sohma was beyond irritated.

To make matters worse, she had no idea who to direct her irritation towards, whether Gure-nii for his manipulations that piqued her curiosity in the first place, casually mentioning that woman's pregnancy; or that same damnable woman for deciding to have her child on one of the coldest days of the year. Or herself, for daring to come out on such a blustery day in nothing more than a thin coat.

Tori-nii was always bugging her to take better care of herself. Perhaps the nosy dragon had a point after all.

In the end, it really didn't matter whose fault it was, because by the time she walked through the hospital doors, she felt like a human icicle.

She knew her dark expression was guaranteed to intimidate the poor nurse at the front desk, but she couldn't bring herself to care as she snapped out her demand for Tohru Honda's room number with all the gentleness of a viper.

And it didn't matter if she was family or not. Sometimes the Sohma name had its uses.

The woman was sleeping as she entered the room, surprising alone after she had heard the other Jyuunishi had practically smothered her with attention since her pregnancy began.

The woman's face was exhausted but peaceful, lit with a content smile that Rin envied even though she didn't want to. Why should she care about this woman?

But when she thought about it, hadn't this woman, Tohru Honda, given so much for them? As much as she hated to think about it, she could see the changes in every one of her fellow Jyuunishi.

Thoughts of the others Jyuunishi brought back memories of Haru, and despite her best efforts, she could not banish away the contemplations.

Momiji, who had always hidden his truth behind childish behavior and carefree laughter, seemed less lonely now.

Hatori, who had pulled in on himself even worse than before after his loss of Kana; his icy persona was melting away once more.

Ritsu, who blamed himself for the world's every problem, was surer of himself, more self-assured. When she had last seen him at New Year's, not having to deal with a spastic blowout was a welcome change.

Kisa, who had given up all hope after the teasing at school became so bad, had opened up the most of all to show them all what a bright, inquisitive young girl she was. Haru, as protective of Kisa as he was of Yuki and herself, had been so grateful to Tohru Honda for implementing that change.

Even Hiro, who had always been so sharp-tongued, so caustic, seemed to have softened somehow, seeming gentle. Especially toward Kisa. The obviousness of Hiro's crush on her sent up red flags for all the Jyuunishi. As happy as Rin was for him, the softhearted little monster, the raw memory of Hatori's pain with Kana, and her own self-imposed separation from Haru after Akito had taken out her wrath, all of it served as a blatant reminder of the consequences to be paid for liaisons among the cursed.

Yuki…her animosity toward the nezumi spawned from his favor by Akito, disturbing for anyone unlucky enough to be a favorite of their god, but as her past relationship with Haru had grown and deepened, she could not help being influenced by his fondness for Yuki.

Yuki was one of those who had changed the most. More outspoken, sure of himself, gentler and more concerned about the welfare of other people instead of what they thought of him. Certainly a far cry from the fragile boy she had visited with Haru when they were children, a scared creature she had hated and pitied for his fear, while Haru had been so intent to shelter him.

Her eyes strayed to the infant sleeping in the bassinet next to the bed. A baby boy, she noted from the blue sleeper he wore, and small for his age…thirty-six weeks, maybe? She was not sure.

He was small, but healthy, his pallor flushed with hearty color. He seemed so tiny, fragile, but he was a beautiful child, the delicacy of his features echoing of his mother's influence, but from there on the resemblance to another was unmistakable. The boy was essentially his father's son, from the shape of his nose and mouth, the slope of his eyes, the strong set of his jaw and cheekbones, all the way to the thick thatch of rusty hair dotting his head. He was Kyou's son through and through.

Kyou…the two of them never really got along, but that was no reason to condemn him to the horrible cage. No one deserved something like that, to be left alone in that never-ending darkness…nowhere to hide from Akito's wrath, no one to run to. Nothing but the dark and Akito's vengeance. No one should be subjected to that.

Memories of her own imprisonment and near torture at Akito's hands still sent chills down her spine.

Tentatively, cautiously, internally reprimanding herself for such an irrational fear, she reached out to touch him, her fingers gently brushing against the tufts of fiery hair at his crown.

"Isuzu-san…?"

The soft, questioning voice broke through the room's comfortable silence, everything inside her screaming with alert tension. Her back stiffened, but she did not turn around, instead opting to study the other woman over her shoulder.

She had been right in her earlier assessment that the other seemed tired, but that was to be expected with a newborn, but what really caught her attention was the old shadow of sorrow in her eyes, something she had always seen lingering there, but much stronger now, culminated through the months of her and Kyou's forced separation.

Rin wanted to reprimand this girl for her stupidity, to tell her once and for all that this was the price to be paid by any outsider who dared to interfere with the Sohma clan, but she could do no such thing. Her heart sank at the thought, an anxious knotting in her stomach as her mouth refused to form the words.

This girl had loved and accepted Kyou. Kyou, who everyone had turned away from, out-casted and hated. This girl had been through the worst with him, and still her devotion to him had not been deterred. It was something to be admired, Rin had to admit.

"Isuzu-san, would you like to hold him?"

Hold him? Rin looked up, startled. "Hold him? What do you mean? You ought to know I can't do that."

Tohru smiled, the hint of elation in the gesture managing to overshadow the underlying sadness. "We can't explain it, Isuzu-san, but Kagura-san and Kisa-san were able to hold him without transforming. You should be able to the same."

Her mind reeling with the new discovery, Rin turned her gaze back to the sleepy child. So small, so fragile…if she touched him, would he break? Would she bring him pain like she did to everyone else, from Haru and this girl? What right did she have to do so?

Slowly, she shook her head, turning back to Tohru with a hint of a wry smile on her lips. "You, Tohru Honda, are a fool. But I don't think I've ever seen a braver fool."

She turned away before she could see the girl's reaction or hear a reply. Tohru's voice stopped her one last time in the doorway. "Isuzu-san? His name…it is Katsuya."

Katsuya…Sohma

Rin nodded, and moved to exit the room.

The moment she soundlessly closed the door behind her, the pressure of a hand locked around her wrist. She whirled around, intent on reprimanding whoever the other was on their nerve, but the retort died unsaid on her tongue as she found herself staring into a pair of all-too familiar eyes.

Haru…

His eyes were gentle as he tilted his head curiously, inquiry evident in their depths of steel gray. "Rin…fancy seeing you here."

She did not reply, feeling suddenly uncomfortable as the gaze in those eyes focused, the intensity of emotion that was so very Hatsuharu coming to lock on her alone.

"Did you come here to see Honda-san and her baby? What did she think?"

She shrugged indifferently, keeping her eyes away from his. Why was it that he managed to make such an innocent exchange between them seem anything but casual? The tone of his voice, the quiet whisper of longing in his eyes. Gods, Haru, just look away…

He did not comply to the silent order, but then, he had always been good at doing what he wanted. "Rin," he whispered, too close for comfort as he ghosted a hand against her face, brushing back long hair to trace his fingers against her cheek. "What did you think of the baby, Katsuya?"

"He's Kyou's son, that much is obvious." She turned her eyes at his silent prompting, feeling a new defense collapse with every second. What was so different about today of all days that she should be so weak to his advances? "Haru…what do you want from me?"

His lips curved into a smile, his fingers still busy at work, running through her hair, toying with the shell of her ear. As his thumb brushed over her lips, she shuddered. "Have coffee with me. Not here, at this place I know. It's just a little down the road, easy to walk to."

Could there be any doubt about the answer she would give him?

xx

"Kyou…mean Kyou…"

The sound of the familiar voice, far too cheerful for its own good, roused Kyou from his slumber. He blinked, trying to bring his eyes into focus even as he tried to adjust his mind to the strange invasion of natural light.

The source of the light came in the open hole, located near the door, where as clear as day was Momiji's idiotically smiling face. "M-Momiji?" Again, the unused voice came out hoarse and broken, the weakness of the sound so uncharacteristic for Kyou it was unnerving.

"Kyou, I have news for you." Any serious quality to Momiji's tone would be enough to draw anyone's attention.

"What is it?"

"You're a father, Kyou."