Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. ...I wonder if she'd let me have Cedric though..
Note: The characters are in their teens in this story. :P
"C'mon, Harry! Another game of Wizard's Chess?" said Ron. He had spent most of the afternoon on Harry's heels, waving the game in his face every chance he got. Harry, who'd been too distracted by the current situation, tried his best just to ignore Ron, but the consistant clatter of chess pieces in his ear didn't help much.
Harry spun on his heels, causing Ron to stop suddenly or otherwise cause a collision.
"Ron, PLEASE," he snapped--looking abashed and out of place--then added a bit more gently "..I'm not really in the mood. We'll play later.." He turned and sat himself near the closest window, grimly staring out into the yard through the sheets of rain and wind.
Ron's hopeful expression melted away within seconds, but was replaced quickly with a look of annoyance. He slammed the game onto the table, sending chess pieces flying.
"Look, you're not the ONLY one worried about her. I was just trying to keep my mind off of it! But that didn't work--thanks to you, mate!" he said bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest.
Harry rose from his seat, stomping towards Ron in all of his chargin. "Yeah? Well you have an odd way of showing concern, PAL!" He shoved Ron forcefully as he emphasized the last word: Ron stumbled back a few steps, looking dazed at first, then just plain pissed off.
"This is MY house!" shouted Ron, stepping up to Harry. "You don't shove me in MY own house!" He rushed to shove Harry back, but Harry smartly stepped aside at the last moment, and instead grabbed a hold of someone who was standing right behind Harry. He looked up and found himself staring at two girls about his age.
"What the hell are you two doing in my house--AGAIN?" asked Ron, sounding very put-offish.
"AGH! Ali, he's trying to KILL me!" shrieked Caitlin.
Ali pulled out her wand and raised it. "AVADA KADAVRA!" Ron's eyes widened at the spell propelling towards him (OC: Even though..they're like right next to each other.. xDD) and shrieked, pulling Caitlin's hair infront of his face. The spell bounced off of her hair, and went through a window, smashing it.
"Alright, Ron?" said Harry, moving to stand next to his ginger-headed friend. Ron nodded slowly, but the expression on his face said otherwise. It was at that exact moment that Hermione crawled through the shattered window, dragging something in with her.
"HERMIONE!" said Ron and Harry in unison, rushing to her side. She gave each of them a hug, dispite the fact that she was soaked from head to toe.
"Sorry to keep you both waiting.." she said as she wrung the water from her hair, "Me and Ceddy are engaged!"
The entire room went silent. Hermione glanced between Harry and Ron, trying to read the expressions on their faces(which were both quite different).
"Erm.. congradulations.." offered Harry, forcing a smile. "That's..quite a surprise!"
Hermione grinned, before turning on Ron, who had his face set and arms crossed tightly over his chest; she frowned.
"Well? Aren't you going to congradulate me, Ronald Weasley?" asked Hermione, though it made it sound like more of a demand if anything. Instead, Ron walked right past her and went into the kitchen without a word.
"God, Hermione, how stupid are you?" blurted Ali, causing Hermione to turn on her. "You and Ron are supoosed to be together!"
"Shyeah, which means like..You and Cedric aren't!" added Caitlin.
Hermione stared at the two before bursting with laughter. "Me a-and Ronald! How silly can you get? Our Children would look so foolish!"
"Actually, ya'll would make some pretty cute kids. 8 of them, called William, Germione, Hermione, Jedrick, Wormione, Donald, Peorge and Kermione." said Ali as a matter-of-factly.
"..You're mad.." said Hermione after a long pause. She started inching towards Cedric.
"STOP..right there, sister. Or your dead.." threatened Caitlin. Hermione snorted.
"Oh yes? And what are you going to do?"
"THIS!" Caitlin reached for a ziplock baggy, but came up empty handed. "What the..? What happened to all my bags!"
Harry cleared his throat before walking into the kitchen: Ali and Caitlin shared a look, then followed after Harry in a stampeede, nearly running Hermione over. Caitlin gasped as soon as she entered the kitchen-- Every surface was covered with plastic baggies filled with non-parishible food items.
"..We..needed something to put all our food in for the storm.." murmured Harry apologeticly. Hermione entered the kitchen seconds later(dragging Cedric with her), laughing shrewdly at the sight.
"Ah well. I suppose you can try again some other time.." she said.
Caitlin looked over at Ron, who was eating chips out of one of the bags, and twitched. "This isn't over.." she said grimly, before disapperating.
Ali stood there alone, looking quite uncomfortable. "..So, yeah.. I'm..gunna go to.." She blinked for a moment, then took off her shoe, hurled it at Hermione, then quickly disapperated.
"I KNOW that bitch didn't just throw her-..Aw, these are cute!" Hermione bent over to pick up the shoe. "I gotta ask her where she got it.."
--
"Caitlin, wait!" said Ali, rushing forward to grab Caitlin's arm. "We can't go in there like this!" After leaving the burrow, the two girls had aparated directly infront of 'WizMart'
"And why the hell not? I'm only here to pick up one thing.." argued Caitlin, rushing forward again, only to be pulled back.
"I can't be seen in there! I only shop at the best Wizarding Supermarkets!"
Caitlin stared. "It's the only store open!"
"I'm not going in there. At least, not as myself." said Ali. She paused to think: If there was someone who's reputation she'd want to ruin, who's would it be..? Caitlin began to quiver, feeling the effects of the rain and wind hitting her.
"Alright, I got it!" Ali closed her eyes and concentrated on what she wanted to be; her skin began to melt away and her bones began to stretch as she became taller and taller. Caitlin watched until the transformation was complete.
"An old man?" said Caitlin flatly.
"Yeah!" said Ali in a voice that was so unlike her own: her sweet, saccharine, charming voice was replaced with that of a raspy old mans. "I met this old man a while back and he like.. out of no where, completely oblivious to me, and unprovoked, started rapping at me and like.. I was hurt.."
Caitlin nodded slowly. She didn't know why she was nodding, but she did. "Very well.. MY TURN!" And she closed her eyes, concentrated deep on the thing she wanted to be the most, and transformed.
"..Caitlin, WHY!" said Ali ruefully, looking Caitlin over.
"What!" replied Caitlin in a boyish voice. She ran a hand through her thick, brown hair.
"Ugh, whatever.. let's just go.." Ali strutted towards the store in her usual pace, earning many looks from people passing by. Caitlin rushed to keep pace with her.
"Maybe.." began Caitlin, speaking in a thick British accent, "..You should walk with less bump and more feet dragging. Like a real old person?" She walked ahead, showing off her new moves: she walked with an easy swagger, both hands shoved deeply into her pockets.
Ali followed suit by haunching over a bit and dragging her feet across the floor. The two made their way past a number of isles before finally reaching their destination. Caitlin's eyes widened conciderably--she was in heaven.
"WOAH MOMMA! LOOKIT ALL THESE ZIPLOCKS!" She rushed forward, grabbing as many boxes as she possibly could in different sizes ranging from 'small' to 'frickin huge'.
Ali sighed, glancing at her 'I love Cedric' wrist watch. "Hurry up! Who knows what Hermione's doing to my poor little Ce-.." she cut herself off immediately when a girl wandered into their isle.
"OMG, CEDRIC!" the girl squeeled, rushing over to Caitlin. "Long time no see!"
Caitlin and Ali shared a look: How the hell did this girl know Cedric?
"Er.." started Caitlin, in her Cedric-like voice, but was cut off by the girl.
"Where were you last night? I wrote to you!"
Ali choked on air. "WHAT!" she hissed in her raspy old voice. The girl gave Ali a look, but Caitlin quickly jumped in.
"Er, that's..my grandpa. Yeah, Grandpa Al.."
"Cedric, you're looking at me like you don't know me.." said the girl whistfully. Caitlin blinked at her for a moment before a slow smirk crossed over her features.
"Er, no! No, I know you! Duh.. you're that girl I was supposed to write to last night!"
The girl beamed.
"..But didn't cause I'm avoiding you! Cause you ugly and have stank bref!" finished Caitlin, grinning from ear to ear.
Ali choked on air again, but for a much different reason then before. She cleared her throat, before stepping forward.
"Ye know..back in my day, I looked just like Ceddy over here!" she said, adding a cough and a wheeze for effect. "Wanna give it a go, girly!"
The girl took one look at Ali before dashing from the isle in tears. Caitlin and Ali burst out laughing.
"Did you see her FACE?" laughed Ali, slapping one of her knees. "She looked like she was about to die!"
"Speaking of dying, we gotta get back.." said Caitlin, making her way towards the cashier. "Did you bring any money?"
Ali stopped. "..No."
Caitlin's face fell. "Well, we can't aparate out of here or they'll come after us!"
Ali smiled. "True..But, I have an idea. Gimme the boxes. I'll aparate out of here and you walk out of the store, then aparate." Caitlin did as she was told, handing the boxes over to Ali, then left the store before aparating herself.
--
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE NAME PEORGE!" bellowed Ron, standing over Hermione--who was currently sitting on Cedric's lap, stroking his hair.
"It just seems like a foolish name! Peorge. Pah, no child of mine would be called that.." she murmured. She was unaware of the fact that Ali and Caitlin, still in their disguises, had aparated right behind her. Caitlin quietly tore open one of the boxes of ziplocks, pulled out a baggie, and dropped it over Hermione's head.
"GET CEDRIC! GET HIM!" shrieked Caitlin. Ali lunged forward, grabbed Cedric, and jumped out of the nearest window with Caitlin following after seconds later.
Harry and Ron blinked at each other.
"..Did Cedric just kill Hermione?" asked Harry.
"..Shyeah. Then he got abducted by himself and an old man.." finished Ron.
They sat in silence for a moment, before Ron finally spoke up again.
"So, are you up for a game of Wizards Chess NOW?"
--
Meanwhile, in a retirement home far far far far away, sat an Old Man known only as Psyk who sat in his favorite recliner, watching re-runs of 'In Living Color'.
"AHAHAHHAHA-wheeze-HAHAFIREMARSHALLBILLAAAA-coughsnort-AAAAAAAHAHAHAHA !"
There was a loud bang at the door, which flew wide open all of a sudden, and many people emptied into the room. They wore robes with the words 'WTF' embeded on the chest.
"Are you Psyk?" one of them asked, standing over the old man. Psyk merely ignored them, transfixed by the TV. Another stepped infront of the screen, blocking his view.
"AYE! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYIN TO WATCH TV!" shrieked Psyk, leaning sideways to look around the person.
"We are from the 'Wizard-Theif Fighters' organization, and you sir, are under arrest for stealing 100 boxes of ziplocks from 'WizMart'.."
They(as in, the WTF people) removed their wands from their robes one by one and started advancing on Psyk.
"DAMMIT, I CAN'T SEE!" said Psyk, slooooooowly rising from his seat. The members of WTF lunged for him: Psyk ducked away from them at incredible speed, rushing to the other side of the room where he ran over to the nearest wall and started to run up it. He used this momentum to push himself away from the wall and do an incredible backflip, landing behind all of the WTF members.
They slowly turned around to find Psyk standing behind them, wand drawn.
One of the younger WTF members began to panic and, before he could think about what he was doing, pointed his wand directly at Psyk's chest. "AVADA KEDAVRA!"
The spell failed miserably, bouncing off against the large 'P' pendant dangling from Psyk's neck, back to the caster, killing him.
"WHATEVER YOU'RE SELLING, I DON'T WANT IT!" bellowed Psyk, completely forgetting why they were actually there. He ran forward, dropkicked someone in the face, put two others under the imperius curse and made them fight each other, and scared off the remaining WTF members by punking them out with his mad rapping skills.
After he was through, he sloooooooowly made his way back to his recliner, easing himself into it. Just barley after he sat down, a nurse wandered into the room to serve him his meal.
"And how are you today, Mr. Doboi?" she asked, watching him drop applesauce all over himself.
"Great, now that you're here, sweet thaaaang.." he replied with a wink. When he was done eating, the nurse took his tray and left, stepping over bodies from earlier like it was normal for them to be there.
Psyk then turned his attention to the TV and saw his favorite movie was comming on in 5 minutes. "OH SNAP! MADAGASCAR!"
END