Salve! Next chapters up, thank you for reading. And just so you know, there are no pairings, but Teira and Ray are kinda together if you wana call it, cause they have some feelings for each other, same goes to Kai and Emma. But no one has realized it yet.
I've made Rei alittle psycho, but that's ok, seeing what he's going through and all.
NightPredator: thanks for the review it means so much! I'm really glad you can relate to the story somewhat. That's what I was aiming for, trying to make it as realistic as possible. And I'm really glad you can confide in me.
Flashback
Rei clutched the razor tightly and looked down at the tally marks he had made across his arm, one more will make eight…just do it! The silver in his hand felt like it was getting sharper and sharper by the second as the teen rethought over the horrible day. One by one, his motivations to get it over came storming through his mind. Rei set his mind to it and leaned farther against the wall till his back was touching it completely. He set the metal to his scared skin and made another line, cutting clear across his arm, damaging another inch of him. The blood fallowed after like an army, marching after the blade. He hissed with pain and relief. Suddenly, without notice, his vision blurred a bit so that he couldn't see the blood anymore. The entire room had gone foggy as the Neko Jin winded his head back, setting it against the wall. "Oh…god…what have I d-done…?" He hissed through clenched teeth. The next moments were as blurred as his vision; he could only hear a voice.
"Rei?" Rei blinked before slumping down the wall, landing on the floor. "Rei!" Footsteps came stomping over to him and an arm rolled him over to his back.
"Uh…K…kai?"
"Shut up, Rei! J-just stay quiet," Kai was in a panic, not knowing what to do. He looked around the bathroom and spied a metal razor blade that looked to be dipped in blood. His eyes flashed back to a delirious Ray, "What the heck have you done to yourself!"
Rei moaned in reply, holding his arm in pain. Kai looked from his amber eyes to his arm, the blood pooling around his shirt and pants. Kai's eyes went wide, "Y-you…cut?"
Normal.
"Kai found you on the floor?"
"Uh-huh…I guess I cut too deep that time. Can I go yet?" Rei sighed as the therapist shook her head, writing down a quick note on her notepad. Lily, as she had asked Rei to call her, had made him rethink the last time he had cut himself sense coming here.
"Do you remember anything in between that time period of passing out and Kai finding you? Any visions? Strange voices?" Rei shook his head, "nothing. We've been over this…" Lily wrote something else down on the notepad and looked up at Rei once more, inspecting him like a science experiment ready to blow.
"You're rushing this, Rei, I need you too relax. Nothing is going to be accomplished if you continue to rush me." Lily scolded. Rei nodded solemnly, they had had this speech before. Many times, actually.
"Do you realize why you have done this to yourself?" Rei clinched his fists, he hated this question and never answered it, "I…not yet." Lily sighed. "Alright then, Rei, can you explain to me what it felt like? What did you think when you where using that blade?"
Rei sat still, thinking over the question and gathering emotions from the back of his mind. "Bliss…pain, happiness, relief…do I need to go on?"
More scribbling on the pad, "no. I have enough. Now, what where you thinking?"
Rei sighed, "'I need to get this over with before anyone sees me.'"
The therapist nodded, "you were panicking…that's a normal reaction."
"I guess."
"Is there anything else you would like to say, Rei?" Lily leaned forward in her chair. Rei didn't hesitate to give a, "nope."
With a weary sigh, Lily hoisted herself up from her chair and turned to the teen, "Than our session is over. We'll meet next Wednesday." Rei nodded and stalked back to his white room.
When Ray returned to his room, Emma and Kai had beaten him to it. They were both waiting for him, Emma sitting on his bed and Kai in a corner by the window.
In seeing them, he grew confused. "Er…what are you guys doing here?"
Emma smiled and stood up, "it's just a visit. Teira said you might be coming home soon." Kai eyed Rei for a moment before looking back at the ground. He had been the one to find Rei bleeding on the floor. The images still couldn't work themselves from his mind.
"The therapist here hates me, and it's up to her. I doubt I'll be getting out of here for long because of that." Emma shrugged. "You'll be back home before you know it."
Rei didn't reply to this, but thought back on the beyblade team. Had they suffered from him being here for a month now? Or were things better? Rei sat down on the bed, letting Emma sit beside him. "Aren't the Europe tournaments coming up soon?" Rei wondered aloud. Emma turned to Kai who shifted his footing, "in a month." The Russian replied.
"Hey, maybe you'll be able to be back and we can all go." Rei nodded, a bit of happiness hitting his soggy mood. "I'm going to get some soda from the machine, do you guys want any?" Rei and Kai both shook they're heads and Emma went scampering out of the room.
The door was closed behind her and Rei and Kai were left in the room. A few silent minutes passed by before Rei thought of anything to say.
"How have things been going?" Rei spoke up. Kai shrugged, crimson eyes still staring at the ground, "it's been different."
"Oh." Kai looked up at him for the first time. Rei had certainly changed, he decided. His usual bright, golden eyes where dulling and even his hair seemed to sag along with his mood. A few more minutes passed by before Kai finally spoke the question that had been bugging him sense the moment he had seen Rei on the floor.
"…why?" Rei's head shot up, glaring openly at crimson eyes. Something in him had told him that the question was coming, but at the moment it seemed so…hurtful. "You too? Everyone's been asking that around here. And you want to know too, Kai?"
"Rei, I think I deserve it. I'm the one who saw you bleeding on the floor!" Kai hissed, angry with his team mate's harsh attitude.
Rei glared hard at the Russian, his bluntness was frustrating, "I don't owe you anything."
Kai stepped forward, letting Rei step back. "God, Ray, you could have died! Ever thought of that!" The Neko Jin flinched and didn't reply so Kai went on. "What happened? You of all people…cutting? W-what…why?"
"Shut up." Rei hissed, "Just shut up." Of all people, he didn't expect Kai to react like this.
"Rei." Kai lowered his voice. "I want to know why."
"You and half the world!" Kai narrowed his eyes. Rei was obviously not in the mood to talk let alone be near him. Getting anything out of his team mate was going to be like drilling nails. Rei clinched and unclenched his fists, ready to retort back.
"Kai, I know you're Mr. Perfect an all and you can't understand where I'm coming from, but it's not that simple to explain it!" Kai swallowed.
"Rei…"
"Yes, I could have died; I could have died all eight times!" Kai's eyes widened as Rei's shouts grew louder. "I'm tired of people telling me things I already know. Tell me something different for once!"
"Rei calm down, you're going to hurt yourself."
"Guess again, Kai. I already have. Eight times…" Rei hissed, "It's not like I don't know what it feels like."
"Rei!"
"What!"
"Stop…just stop." Rei sat down on the bed, admitting defeat. The reality of his behavior just then was getting to him. He was having doubts about even being…alive. "Maybe…you should have just left me, Kai. Left me on the floor."
"What! That's stupid talk, Rei! Stop saying stuff like that." Kai growled; mad that the Chinese teen would even suggest something like that.
"I'm going crazy…everyone knows it. You know it."
Kai sighed, "you're not going insane, Rei. But you're going to drive me off the edge if I ever see you using a razor like that again!" Rei didn't say anything; he just sat on the bed, trying to collect his thoughts as they rambled on.
"What have I done to myself…?" He whispered, looking down at his arms. Kai looked at the scars as well. "You haven't done anything—resent?"
"No…"
"Good. That's progress."
Rei bit back a harsh laugh, "progress…you heard me a minute ago. I lost it Kai, I've completely changed in my attitude; I was acting like I could attack you! I never get angered like this."
Kai was out of words, knowing the Neko Jin was right. Attitude in this place was everything and Rei's attitude had changed along with everything else. As Kai was about to speak up, Emma came marching back into the room, a coke in hand. She had a confused look on her face. "What happened, I heard yelling? I just left for a drink and to go to the rest room." she glared at Kai and then to Rei. "You two got into it, didn't you?" Kai shrugged and stalked over to Emma, grabbing her arm as he walked over to the door.
"Come on, Emma, we should leave." Emma thrust her arm away from Kai, "hey, no way! I haven't been able to talk to Rei at all! Just because you two are at each others throats doesn't mean I can't talk to him." Rei looked up at Emma and allowed a smirk to creep up on his lips. She was so rebellious at times. Kai sighed, "Do what you want." With one glance back at Rei, he left with the same icy coldness he had entered with.
R&R! Please!
Poor Rei, getting yelled at by Kai. ;-; oh well. Thins will get a lot better.
Next chapter: Emma and Rei have a talk.
L2B out, arrivederci all!