Author's notes: as you can tell this is a CLOIS fanfiction and for the moment will only be a one-shot. If I get enough reviews giving me some ideas on how to proceed to make this a multi-chapter fanfiction then it will be taken into consideration, otherwise enjoy reading and send tonnes of reviews lol

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I do not own Smallville, superman or any characters in relation to the franchise which is owned by Warner Bros studios

Summary: set during "hidden". What does Lois think when she realises that her knight in shining armour is gone from the world he tried so hard to protect. MAJOR CLOIS and told from Lois' perspective

Fallen Hero

If you looked at Lois Lane on any normal day, you would be able to clearly see that she was a fiercely independent and competent woman, not only had she been self-sufficient since the passing of her mother, but she knows how to kick someone's butt if they ever ticked her off

The only problem with this highly competitive and overpowering persona was one man….Clark Kent.

Ever since she met him, he had risked life and limb to help her and save her life; when she came in search of the person who caused her cousin's death, he was there and gave her the hope that she might be still alive and in the end, not only did Clark and Lois find her supposedly dead cousin, but they saved her life before some sort of wacko with a metamorphic ability could kill her

She would never admit it to him or anyone else for that matter, not in this lifetime or the next, but ever since that day, she was eternally grateful that she had found Smallville, the moody and self-appointed hero of Weirdsville.

Then there was the occasion when he saved her from a psycho bitch from turning Lois into some sort of diseased creation, like she turned her own daughter. She couldn't help but shudder at the thought of so many needles entering her body and filling her with some foreign and dangerous chemical

Lois Lane was no lab rat and she be damned if someone screwed around with her body without her consent, although they were never going to get it; but the thing was it could have so easily happened, mere moments from becoming a contaminated woman…but he saved her; he tore the enclosure off of her like it was nothing but paper and gave her the opportunity to exact some more butt kicking

Again she was not only grateful but thankful that this outrageously tall and strong farm boy had entered her life.

But now any chance of thanking him or even seeing his mischievous grin was gone. She knew from the moment she had driven into Smallville as a surprise visit that something was wrong because not only could she not get through to the Kent's household but Chloe wasn't responding either….

Lois Lane knew that something unbelievable and yet so earth-shattering had occurred. Even the Kent farm as she drove up the path, with all of it's utopia-like appearances, its fields of life stock, the barn where Smallville would brood hours on end before she forced him to come down and get some dinner and the idyllic family house, where she had so often seeked shelter and been welcomed like a long lost relative, it all seemed somehow dulled and tainted by some palpable entity or revelation.

Even the soft clouds and gentle sun above her face didn't seem to shine so brightly or appear so soft, but the real give away was when she was closing her car door and could hear Martha Kent howling in pain and despair, while Jonathon Kent was arguing over the phone with someone about wanting to know what's been done about his son's missing body

Why would Jonathon, the man she had so often considered a brilliant role model for Clark and a father figure for herself, be arguing about Clarks missing body, unless Clark had been hurt

Or worse…..

But even that in itself screamed abnormality, for she knew that Smallville wasn't your typical person, but she never pressed him on the matter either, feeling that if he wanted to tell her about his uncanny ability to be at the right place at exactly the right time and save lives, then he would. Nothing ever seemed to hurt him or make him wince in discomfort or pain, except when his adoptive mom or dad gave him a sound earful about being in a "co-ed" situation.

Lois knocked softly on the Kent door and spoke uncharacteristically softly "What's wrong Martha?"

"It's Clark, he's been….been" the surprise of Lois' visit did nothing to stem her tears or lighten her broken heart. She couldn't continue with her expositional account of what had occurred, it would only make it real…indisputable. Jonathon, knowing why Martha couldn't go on kissed her forehead lovingly at looked at Lois straight in the eyes, although she noticed he seemed only moments from breaking down himself, probably holding himself back so he could be strong for his suffering wife. "Clark's been shot and Chloe's been kidnapped Lois, we believe it was done by an old school acquaintance of Chloe's whose hiding out in a silo somewhere….from what we can gather Clark tried to save Chloe but was shot…"

"But Clark will be fine, I mean its Smallville, the man of steel himself, what is being done about Chloe" Lois half-shrieked half-swallowed her tears. She did not want to worry about the invincible Clark when her cousin was in the hands of a madman. A bullet wound is nothing to Clark, except for something for his little Lana to obsessively stroke and nuzzle

She could tell with the expression on Jonathon's face, Martha's increased intensity in wailing and what she heard earlier that he wasn't going to be ok and that the bullet would be something worse then a new scar to brag about…she knew then and there that he wouldn't come back to Lois and make jabs about how much she really missed him…..

In what seemed like eternity, but was really no more then a moment, something unbidden and unwanted had invaded her mind and make her realise something she could have never believed

Clark Kent….one of the greatest and most powerful people she had ever known was dead…killed by a gunshot. The irony of the situation did not escape her well-developed mind

"When" it wasn't a question, it was a statement. She wanted….no, needed to know when he left his family, his friends and her behind. She should have been worried when she realised she didn't place herself in the category of his family or friends or question more about Chloe, but that would wait until her endless purgatory had come to an anticlimactic finale.

"Just over 10mins ago…..and it gets worse" Jonathon croaked, he was no longer holding back his silent and pain-saturated tears, though it seemed that he was clinging to Martha for support as much as she was to him

Lois' face turned from a ghost white tinge to a deathly pale tone, what could be worse then Lois' own private white knight dying, leaving her all alone? All vulnerable and defenceless?

"In some sick and twisted fashion, someone has stolen his…his body" Jonathon refrained from saying corpse, knowing it would bring about terrible and heart-wrenching images of his dead son. He unwillingly allowed the dam of unshed tears to be fully and truly broken down and howled in such anguish and despair that it even rivalled his wife's own unbearable pain "we didn't even get a chance to say goodbye or tell him how much we loved him…." The last bit was spoken no louder then a whisper, but had the force of making something happen to Lois that hasn't happened since her mother died over a decade ago…

At that particular moment, Lois Lane experienced for the second time in her whole lifetime, the sensation where her heart is broken, fractured, completely destroyed beyond repair…she had lost someone so important to her, so influential and so powerful that she never even got the chance or option to say…..to say….what he meant to her

If it wasn't for him she would have died long ago, probably in 20 different manners as well, and yet she felt cheated and disgusted with herself, in the full knowledge that she had never even thanked him for his last-minute rescues and unwavering support, she never showed to him how happy and secure she felt when he carried her away from what could have been her watery tomb, even though she was only semi-conscious of what was occurring at the time.

Lois couldn't take it anymore and ran out of the house, got in her car and started it up in the desperate need to get away from then Kent farm. She knew that they would understand or were probably wrapped too much in their own suffering to realise she had left. No sooner had she turned on the engine did she allow it to die quietly….peacefully

The unwelcome tears leaked down her cheeks, giving the impression of a woman truly lost. In a desperate attempt to make the pain, the anguish, the hatred, the memories and tears leave her in peace, she vented by hitting the car wheel as hard as she could. She knew it was pointless and it did nothing, except maybe make her feel even more battered, broken and alone, both psychically and emotionally

Again she tried to start up the car, only this time, the implications of no Clark Kent rose in her mind; how was she going to live without their daily arguments and fights for the shower? How was she going to live without his confidence and support? How was she going to live past 12months without him, saving her ass and making her feel safe and secure in his powerful arms? She knew that she was being greedy and selfish right now, but she needed a shoulder to lean on for support, she wanted for someone to look her in the eyes and tell her everything was going to be ok or that it was all a horrible dream and all she had to do was wake up….

Completely abandoning the pretence of being strong and independent, she forced herself to wake up from an apocalyptic world, she screamed for release, to be freed from the confines of a never-ending nightmare, but it never came and she allowed herself to fall asleep at the car wheel, hoping to wake up and find herself back in metropolis and in her college dorm room, but no sooner had she closed her eyes did she open them again to the sounds of big boots walking on gravel occupied with a body in scorched clothes

She didn't care if he was a dream or a figment of her imagination, she needed Clark Kent right now and he was right in front of her; his hair unnaturally messy and his eyes, god how much she loved seeing his baby blues, twinkling with uncertainty yet with a strength she knew was deep inside of him. Before Clark even knew what was happening, Lois ran into him and hugged him fiercely , screaming his name with tears crawling down her angelic face "Lois" he spoke softly "what's wrong?" and now knowing Clark was safe, not caring how or why, she instantly reverted into her strong and independent persona, while worrying for her forgotten cousin "Chloe! What's happening with..."

"Don't worry Lois, I got her out of the silo and took her to safety while dealing with him" he spoke strongly yet peacefully, having a calming affect on Lois she didn't know he had on her "thank god for omniscient and omnipotent farm boys like you Smallville" suddenly she realised that even though this may be a dream, figment of her imagination or even reality, he still needed to go see his parents.

With a knowing look towards his own home, she let go of him and watched him enter; apparently his rebirth didn't stop him from being an incredibly amazing superhero or a normal 18yr old, unsure of what he would find in his home when he returned from beyond.

Even though she knew she couldn't have him yet because of his obsession for Lana and her cousin Chloe, she was willing to wait forever and a day if it meant she had a chance to hold him again like she just did, and be able to say those words she's been longing to say ever since she laid her eyes on the man the boy was going to become someday...

Fin (for now)