The alarm blared and Kate reached across Jack to slam the snooze button down. She saw the blue numbers flashing briefly before she closed her eyes and leaned back onto the pillow. 4:15. Fucking battery operated travel clock.
Jack groaned and she heard the bed creak as he swung his legs off the side and slowly sat up. He was still for a moment, just orienting himself in the dark. Without opening her eyes she propped herself up on one arm and reached across his chest with her other arm, pulling him back onto the bed.
"Five more minutes" she murmured insistently.
He said nothing but shifted his body so he was facing her and wrapped his arms around her snugly.
But then, it could have only been seconds later, the alarm was blaring again, demanding and irritating. And as much as she wanted to silence it, she wanted to remain right where she was even more. He didn't move either. And finally the sound was too much and again, she tried to reach around him, but his hold on her was too tight and she couldn't loose her arms.
"We gotta get up anyway." He said into her hair.
She inhaled and pressed her head more firmly into his chest. "But its so early." She whined.
He unwrapped himself from her and sat up in one fluid motion. Then fumbled a bit for the night stand and turned off the alarm. A heavy silence pressed at the corners of the room, it was only broken by his graceless attempts to light the lantern that sat next to the alarm clock.
She remained in bed as the light flickered, then grew, casting a dim orange glow on their small home and their scant belongings. She slowly looked around, glancing at their stacked luggage, broken bits of furniture, worn out throw rug, until her eyes landed on him.
He looked back at her and then after a moment said "C'mon Kate, we don't want to miss our flight."
And suddenly leaving this place, this room without electricity, running water, even space, was the last thing she wanted to do. She was so completely caught of guard by the unwanted thought that she immediately sat up and determinedly went about getting ready and packing her remaining items.
About 15 minutes later, there was a knock on the wooden plank near the entrance of the tent. "You guys up?"
Jack stood up from the black bag he had been tucking clothes into and turned to look at Kate who was at the bed, trying to jam the alarm clock into another bag. With out taking her eyes from his she loudly said "Yeah Amy, come in."
The past few days with Amy and Neil had been…weird. It was really the only word for it. Jack and Neil got on wonderfully, at every meal they shared they would talk seemingly endlessly about surgeries and procedures that Kate just couldn't bring herself to care about. She and Amy would glance at each other and roll their eyes, like kids in grade school. And despite the incredibly short time they had spent together, just over 4 days, she could actually see Amy becoming a friend. But in addition to this, there was a palpable distance between all of them. And Kate would still catch Amy looking at her at odd moments, she could feel her figuring it out, slowly putting the pieces together. Even Neil had started shooting her concerned glances. She was sure that the two of them had discussed her. And why not, she and Jack had talked the subject into the ground.
And just last night, Amy had thrown out a flippant comment about Iowa. Sure, it could have meant nothing, but Kate's stomach had dropped all the same.
Amy pushed the canvas aside and entered the tent. "We should get going, it's a long drive." She glanced around the room, avoiding both sets of eyes.
Jack slung a bag over her shoulder and asked "Where's Neil?"
"Still sleeping," She said and she walked further into the room, she picked up one of the bags from the floor. "I told him I'd drive you guys."
He nodded and headed out the door. Just before he reached it he turned back to Kate. "Ready?" He asked.
She heaved the bag up with both hands and nodded quickly. Curls drifted over her face and shielded her eyes. She shook them back and headed toward him. Jack passed under the doorway, holding the flaps open for Kate and Amy followed directly behind them.
The drive to the nearest airport was a four hour one, and the time seemed to pass slowly. Jack had hopped into the back seat before Kate could protest. She could see him now through the rearview mirror. He was slumped low in the seat with his head hanging back on the seat, fast asleep.
Kate and Amy sat in the front, completely silent having long ago abandoned their meager attempt at small talk.
Kate stared out the window, then she leaned back and closed her eyes. But she had never been very good at sleeping in cars. The constant motion somehow demanded her attention and she was enthralled by the changing (or in this case, unchanging) scenery that passed by so quickly. She willed herself to remain like this, still in the seat until sleep came.
"I know who you are." Amy said it so low that at first Kate thought she must have been dreaming.
She opened her eyes and turned toward her. Amy stared straight forward, eyes unwavering from the dirt road that stretched in front of them.
"What?" she whispered, squinting in the bright sun.
"I said I know who you are." She said, still not meeting her eyes.
Kate nodded slowly, she was already formulating escape scenarios, trying to remember what she had at her disposal in the truck. And she had no idea what to say, nothing came to her. Time seemed to slow and she glanced again at Jack sleeping in the backseat. If she were alone, she knew exactly what she would do, she had done it before. She would reach for the steering wheel. She could almost see herself doing it, jerking the wheel and tipping the truck. But with him sleeping back there, it was just far too dangerous.
She would have to buy some time.
And then finally, Amy looked at her. Kate was shocked by her expression, even more surprised by the tears freely flowing down her cheeks.
She removed one hand from the wheel and pressed her palm into her cheek. "I don't even know why I'm telling you." She shook her head. "I haven't even told Neil, I wanted to wait until you were gone."
Kate was still just trying to wrap her head around what the hell was going on. "So your not…"
"Going to tell?" Amy finished. She shook her head, "I'm not going to say anything." She laughed a little, "Who would I tell anyway?" She gestured to the landscape.
"But then why…" She couldn't even process enough to have coherent thoughts. "Then why tell me at all?" Kate asked.
Amy shrugged. "I just wanted you to know, I guess." She was looking at the road again but glanced quickly at Kate. "I didn't even want to come here, did you know that?"
Kate shook her head.
She inhaled, "I didn't, but I didn't have the heart to tell Neil. But then I met you guys, and you guys are just so obviously connected," She nodded towards Jack in the backseat. "And I thought maybe it would be okay. That maybe Neil and I could survive this. Or that I could anyway, cause Neil can survive anything."
Kate nodded, "If I can do it, you can do it?" she half laughed.
Amy shook her head, "Thats not what I meant."
She was constantly surprised by how similar she and Amy were. Even the way she talked about Neil. It was what she hadn't even been able to admit to herself. He was stronger than her, more capable, definitely more grounded. "Its okay," she said, "I didn't know I could do it either. You'll be fine."
They were both silent for a couple minutes.
"So, does he know?" Amy asked.
"About me? Yeah, he knows."
She glanced back at Jack. He had turned his face to the side, away from her. She knew instantly that he was awake, just trying to keep his breath shallow and normal. She wondered when he'd woken up and how much he'd heard.
"And he's okay with it? He stays with you even though you've…" She trailed off.
"Eh, not really okay with it so much as accepting of it." She answered.
"Why?" she blurted out.
Kate glanced sideways at her.
"Sorry, I'm sort of not good at people." She sounded genuinely apologetic. "I just meant that he seems so strait edge. Not really the criminal type."
Kate smiled to herself. "Jack's sort of a glutton for punishment."
She heard him cough and stir behind her and grinned wider.
---------------------------
The last half of the drive went rather quickly, and before they knew it, they were at the airport. Amy pulled on to the pavement and stopped the truck. The three of them hopped out and unloaded the luggage, then hugged their goodbyes.
Kate smiled at Amy as she pulled out of the hug. "You'll be just fine." She said as she rubbed her shoulder.
Amy nodded silently, fighting back the tears. Then she opened the door and slid into the truck. She waved and smiled as she put the truck in reverse.
After watching Amy drive away, Kate and Jack stood on the tarmac and stared at the small plane they were due to board shortly.
Jack turned to her. "Glutton for punishment, huh?"
Kate just smiled and shrugged.
They continued to stare at the plane, unmoving. She was sure he was thinking the exact same thing he was. "Can't we just sail to Prague?" Jack asked.
Kate laughed, then they picked up their luggage and headed toward the plane.