James and Lily's lessons had gone on uneventfully. They had greatly improved, and hardly ever stepped on the other's foot anymore. When they passed each other in the halls, Lily glared at James with a particular harshness, as if trying to show him she didn't like him. Whenever they made eye contact, James looked away sheepishly, ruffling his jet black hair.

A few days after their first dance lesson, crowds of girls followed James everywhere he went, even to classes, hoping he would ask them to the ball. James found it rather disconcerting. He had always wondered why they did that to him. Did they think it was attractive? After a few days, the "James Fan club," as Sirius called it, was getting out of control. Remus suggested having an "impromptu press conference," to set the record straight with all of them.

"Right," Sirius had said. "Word of advice, Prongs. Once you say your bit, run."

The marauders had decided on holding it in the Charm's classroom, as it was the largest classroom. It did not take long for word to spread around the female Hogwarts population that James was holding a press conference. Nearly one hundred girls arrived, right on time. James gazed at them in awe. Why can't Lily like me like all these girls do? He thought to himself. Suddenly, Remus stepped on the tiny platform they had set up.

"As you all know, James would like to have a word with you about…erm…things. So, well, here he is, then." He stepped off the platform as James hopped on. He stretched and ruffled his hair nervously.

"Er…right. Thanks, Remus," he said, gesturing towards Lupin. They hardly ever used their nicknames in public. "Well…erm…it's certainly…how do I put this…flattering? That you all chase after me, every second of every day. Hell, you even try to go into the boy's bathrooms. But, uh, if you're chasing after me hoping I will ask you to the ball, then I'm afraid you're wasting your time. I already have a date to the ball."

A girl with long, shiny black hair stood up. "Who's your date?" she asked, obviously annoyed some other girl had "gotten" James.

James stared at her in amusement. "Well…um…not sure if it's for me to say…"

Suddenly, all the girls stood up and pulled out their wands. They seemed quite determined to get as much information as possible out of James. "TELL US!"

James backed away from them, wide eyed. "OKAY! OKAY! I'LL TELL YOU!" he said over the shouting. Everyone immediately silenced and sat down. "Erm…my date is…is…Lily Evans. But…er…in her defense, she is only going with me because she has too, seeing as we're Head Boy and Head Girl." The crowd of girls gasped, their tempers rising.

"Stupid Evans," said one. "I'm prettier than her! What does she have I don't?"

"WHY HER? SHE'S SO…SO…NOT ME!"

"UGH! EVANS? I suppose I'd better start looking up good hexes…"

"WHY? AM I THAT UGLY! I FEEL SO REJECTED," sobbed another.

The marauders gazed at the girls in awe. "This here," proclaimed Sirius. "Is what every man needs to see. The real behaviour of the female species. Behind the scenes, you know, what they are really like." They all stared at the girls with their mouths open. They had never seen so many different emotions at the same time, and over something so trivial. Suddenly, the girl with the long black hair stood up again. James groaned.

"Does this mean you two are dating?"

"Erm…no. Absolutely not…I wish we were, tho-" James silenced upon seeing Sirius make a slashing gesture. Apparently that was not the thing to say to a mob of girls trying to win him over. The girls whispered in delight at his response, chatting animatedly to the ones nearest them. Another girl stood up.

"So are you free for the next Hogsmeade trip, then?" she asked him.

"Well, yes, I suppose I am-"

Suddenly, the mob of girls ran towards him and the other three marauders, giggling excitedly.

"JAMES! JAMES! GO WITH ME TO HOGSMEADE!"

"No, don't go with her! She…she…erm…she snores in her sleep! GO WITH ME!"

"I LOVE YOU JAMES! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!"

"MARRY ME, JAMES?"

"You know you love me, sweetheart!"

"GO WITH ME! PLEASE? I've already planned our wedding! I've told mum about us!"

"I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, JAMES! Your birthday, your favorite food, your favorite quidditch team, what time you go to bed at night, what bed you sleep in, your morning routine-"

"I'll kill myself if you don't pick me!"

"JAMES! WE HAVE A CONNECTION!"

"I FEEL LIKE I ALREADY KNOW YOU!"

"Sometimes I sneak into your room and watch you sleep! It's not hard, you know. Just need the password is all. You are so cute when you sleep, James…all curled up in the blanket…"

"I'M PRETTIER THAN HER!"

"NO, YOU'RE NOT!"

"YES I AM!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!"

"WHATEVER! GET HIM!" They chased the marauders into a corner of the room. Remus was staring innocently at the girls, never realizing before how they could be so…possessive. Peter was trying to hide behind Sirius, but his stomach showed from behind Sirius. Sirius was quite amused, but still a bit frightened. James was grasping the wall, frantically trying to slide down the wall and out the door. His face was quite pale, and he looked desperate. The girls got closer to him, and to James, they looked quite menacing.

"RUN!" Sirius shouted as the girls gained speed.

The marauders quickly ran out the charms corridor. Over his shoulder, James sent a locking spell at the door, causing the girls inside to kick and scream. However, the marauders kept running, knowing it was only a matter of time that the girls unlocked the door. James anxiously looked behind his shoulder to see if they were coming, and knocked into someone in front of him. Lily.

"Potter? What're you doing? You know you shouldn't run in the halls," Lily teased, surprised and curious of what James was doing. She looked behind him and saw Peter, Sirius, and Remus leaning against the wall, out of breath and nervous, clutching their stomachs. "Did Filch catch you four, or something? Why were you running?"

"scary…girls…want…me…are chasing me…" James managed to say, gasping for air.

Lily snickered. "Ah, yes. James Potter's fan girls. Have they asked you to autograph body parts yet, Potter?"

James scowled at her. "No, they haven't. It's only a matter of time, though. Those girls are insane!"

Lily grinned. "Don't worry. It's just because you're the 'popular bad boy,' and you're ho-" she stopped, blushing, looking down at the floor.

"Listen, we've got to run. It's only a matter of time before they come this way. Could you do us a favor? When they come, tell them we went the other way? Thanks, bye!"

Lily smirked. "CALLING ALL POTTER LOVERS! HE'S THIS WAY! APPROACHING THE LIBRARY! RUN, GIRLS, RUN! HE'S GETTING AWAY!" Suddenly, the mob came from around the corner and pelted themselves at the marauders, who stared at them with alarm.

"Shit!" groaned Sirius. "Women. Why can't they do the traditional thing, write your name on their notebooks? It would also help if you would get a bit more ugly, Prongs…which you should definitely do…then at least they'd be off our backs. AARGH!" he said as a girl knocked him over, leaping on top of him, practically tackling him. Girls were now walking on top of him to get to James. "SAVE YOURSELVES, MY FRIENDS! THERE'S NO HOPE FOR ME! I'm already in…the mob…" he cried, his voice getting muffled. Lily laughed, clutching a nearby suit of armor for support.

James glared at her. "PADFOOT! PADFOOT, WE'RE NOT LEAVING YOU! THE MARAUDERS ARE A TEAM THROUGH THICK AND THIN! NO MAN GETS LEFT BEHIND!" James heard a groan of comprehension from the area where Sirius was getting trampled. He gulped, and surged through the mob. Soon he found Sirius, and brought him to standing position.

"Damn, chicks are feisty nowadays! What happened to the good old traditional times, when they would make us brownies?" he groaned.

James laughed. "Don't say that any louder, they might hear you. Then you'd be dead for sure. Come on, let's make our way back to Wormtail and Moony." They pushed their way through the confused crowd to meet their friends. They all formed a quick huddle.

"Alright," James said. "I'll distract them…they'll go running after me, and that should allow you three to make your way back to the common room, alright?"

"PRONGS, NO!" exclaimed Remus. "You can't! There must be another way! Don't sacrifice yourself for our sake!"

James laughed. "Well, isn't this a dramatic affair? Moony, it's no big deal! I'll be alright…I hope." James gulped, and stepped out of the huddle. "I'M OVER HERE!" he shouted to the girls. They instantly ran towards him. His eyes got ten times larger, and he bolted through the corridor, and around the corner, screaming girls running behind him. Damn! You'd think they would have lost energy by now! He thought. He looked over his shoulder and saw his three friends making their way through the opposite corridor, and Lily eyeing James with concern. Then the concern quickly faded away and in its place was amusement. James turned his head straight again, and saw he was nearly at the Head Common Room.

"tiddywinkle!" he gasped to the ballerina portrait. It instantly slid opened and allowed him inside. He quickly slammed the portrait hole closed and leaned against the wall for support, clutching his stomach, panting. Bloody hell! These girls are determined! He thought. Maybe I should transfigure myself, like Sirius suggested. Then, he remembered what Lily had said the other day after their first dance lesson, and decided against it. He walked into his bedroom, collapsed onto his bed, and instantly fell asleep.