Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with The OC.

A/N; Thank you so much for reviewing! May sound a bit wierd, but I really like this chapter (Is that odd, liking your own chapter!) soI hope you do too!

ocobsessedrachel2 - Yes thanks I feel very loved now!

"Cohen! What's taking you so long?"

Seth's head emerged from over the open boot of Summer's red convertible; he glowered at her before shuffling forwards laden down with thirteen shopping bags of various different colours and shapes. Summer, who was watching him from the front step of her house, threw her head back and laughed as she watched him struggle up the drive.

"Oh laughing, well yes that's helpful Summer"

"Oh come on Cohen, you don't need my help. Surely your manly form can cope with a few little bags?"

Seth stared up at her incredulous; his voice slightly muffled by the large Marc Jacobs bag that was hanging around his neck "A Few? Summer there are more clothes in these bags than Ryan has owned in his entire life"

"Whatever Cohen. Just hurry up already!" She was still laughing to herself as she fished her keys out of her bag and opened the front door to her out-sized and opulent home.

"Just one question though Summer" Seth managed between grunts of effort as he tackled the steps up to front door "How did a shopping trip to buy one pair of shoes for me turn into a 3 hour spending marathon for you?"

"Ugh well there were sales and…well…we both know I'm powerless before sales. Besides you got your shoes didn't you? Anyway haven't I told you not to question my shopping habits Cohen?" Summer turned round to face him fixing him with her famous 'don't push me because I'm prone to rage blackouts' glare.

"Ah yes, you may have mentioned that" Seth replied lightly. He finally reached the door and collapsed against a wall exhausted from his effort "Well in case it was ever in doubt I think I've just shown that Cohen's were not built for heavy lifting"

Summer smiled at him "Come on, I'll get you a drink for all your exertions"

Seth suddenly looked unsure of himself "Er…a drink as in I should come in? I mean is that ok? Should I come in is that…er...well is that cool? You sure? I mean…you're dad's not in is he!"

Summer rolled her eyes then laughed. The thought of Seth meeting her dad brought back mixed memories, but now was not the time to get into that. "Actually yeah I think he is in…for once" she added.

Seth looked thoughtful for a moment "Hmm…you know what, actually I should probably get back. Mum doesn't like it when I miss dinner – you know how much effort she puts into ordering that take-out."

"Yeah I can imagine! Ok so…I'll see you tomorrow…at school?" Summer was surprised to find that she felt a twinge of disappointment but brushed it aside.

"Yeah I'll see you tomorrow. And thanks for helping me with my…er…shoe problem" He grinned at Summer and there was a slightly awkward moment as they faced each other on the front step, neither of them sure what was the acceptable way to say goodbye. For once Seth took the initiative and gave her a very quick and tentative hug before turning immediately and dashing down the driveway.

"Bye Sum" he called back.

"Yeah...bye Cohen" Summer's voice had dropped to barely louder than a whisper as she contemplated how it's felt, however briefly, to be in his arms again. Picking up her bags she walked into her house and closed the door behind her.

Half an hour later Summer was lying on her bed thinking about the afternoon she'd just had with Seth. An afternoon that she honestly thought would never come; where they could just hang out as friends without tension or stress.

The general awkwardness that she'd known would be there had gone after only a few minutes and Summer was surprised at how easily they'd slipped back into just being friends. At times, she'd felt so at ease in his company that she felt pangs of wanting something more than just friendship, but Summer also knew, that for now at least, they needed to be apart whilst she worked through the issues she had as an individual not to mention the ones they'd shared as a couple.

That evening however, Summer lay on her luscious fluffy carpet with Princess Sparkle at her side and stared intently at numerous scraps of white paper strewn around her. She sighed and a puzzled look settled on her face as she attempted to piece them back together again.

Fully formed, they made up the letter that Seth had left for Summer the day he sailed away. It was the lasting reminder she was left with for the weeks she spent without him.

In truth, trying to reform the note was a fairly pointless exercise as the words of the letter had become indelibly etched in Summer's brain having echoed through her mind every hour of every day during her time alone.

Dear Summer,

I am so so sorry for doing this to you but I just cannot see any other way. Before Ryan arrived I had nobody, and I was nobody. You didn't even know that I existed.

I'm scared that without him here, everything will go back to how it was, and I can't face that. Please try to forgive me.

Love Seth

There had always been two things that haunted Summer about Seth's words in that letter.

Firstly, his lack of faith in her. She couldn't believe that after everything they'd been through together he honestly thought that she would abandon him. Did he really think that little of her? And was his life before Ryan really bad enough to warrant him leaving her like this?

Secondly, not once in the letter did he say that loved her. All she was left with was a meaningless 'love' in his signing off. Once she realised this, it occurred to her that had actually never told her that he loved her. And seeing as Seth was known for being fairly open about his emotions, for Summer, that meant that he simply didn't love her. And this had torn her apart.

One afternoon, several weeks after Seth's departure, Summer had become so frustrated at crying herself hoarse over the letter each day that she tore it into shreds and swore to herself that that symbolised the end of her and Seth's relationship for good. It was possibly indicative of her feelings however that she'd never actually thrown the letter away but simply stored the pieces together in a draw, hoping that one day the note, like her heart, could be mended.

That night, she'd gone out to a typical Newport party, her first one of the summer, and gotten more than a little drunk. This was also the night when she first met, and agreed to go out with, Zach. This decision being fuelled not only by alcohol but also a slightly misguided desire to get Seth out of her system.

Lying on her bed now Summer smiled to herself as she realised that she had singularly failed to do this. When she had returned from seeing Seth that afternoon, Summer had been so anxious about the speed and the force with which her feelings for him were returning that she had decided to retrieve and repair the ripped shreds of the letter in an attempt to remind herself of all the reasons why it didn't work before, why it won't work now and why she was better off without him.

Summer couldn't believe that her resolve had weakened so quickly and reduced her to this.

It had, however, made her reach at least one decision. She had to let Zach go. It was unfair on him to carry on with the farce of their relationship knowing that she would never feel anything real for him. And, she decided, it was unfair on her too. She deserved somebody who could make her feel special, who could make her feel alive, who could make her feel…like Seth had made her feel.

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