Fated Existence

Chapter 2 - Unforgiven

She knew he was there the moment she pulled herself out of the well. She was so attuned to him, even after six months. The training hadn't helped lessen that awareness, either. She was certain he was as shocked as the rest of them; no one asked anything except to make sure she was alright and welcome her back. Even Miroku was uncharacteristically well behaved in keeping his hands to himself. However, he did grope Sango, earning himself the usual handprint upon his cheek. She smiled and shook her head, mumbling something like 'He'll never learn'. She slipped her bag off her shoulder, simultaneously setting down the bundle of kitsune joy that had launched itself at her. She figured the kit must have caught her scent and raised the cry that brought them all to the well. His slip of 'okaa-san' hadn't gone unnoticed, but she'd simply smiled at him when he tried to apologize.

"You can call me Okaa-san, Shippou," she said quietly as she dug a box of pocky out of her pack for him. "I've treated you no less than my son these years."

One happily placated kitsune youkai, a tearful taijiya, and a lecherous monk later found her face to face with the reason she'd left for so long. He couldn't look her in the face, but he couldn't look away from her either. She wanted to forgive him like all the other times, but she knew she couldn't this time. Not so easily, anyway. She'd finally realized it was time to grow up and stop being a hindrance for the group in general and him in specific. She was eighteen, and still couldn't defend herself from the smallest youkai. In short, she was the exact image of the pathetic shard detecting human that he'd always claimed her to be.

It took six months to put a decent dent in rectifying that problem; hence her new attire and weapon. She was evolving. She had never wiped the slate clean; she'd simply built upon the abilities she'd already possessed. And now she had a new confidence in herself that she knew the others could sense. She wondered if he could tell. Her aura was straining to reach out to him, to comfort him and make whatever it was go away. She allowed it a brief 'taste' and instantly pulled back at the wave of grief rolling off of him. Had her absence been the cause of such anguish?

At her 'touch', he jerked slightly and finally brought his eyes up to hers. There was a question in them, silently asking her to confirm his suspicion, if it had been her he'd 'felt'. She nodded so slightly that only he would have seen it. The faint darkness under his eyes made him appear as though he'd spent the last six months either awake or fighting. Or both. As always, his clothing looked new. No injury would have lasted long upon him. Only he could tell her and she knew he was too stubborn to admit to a 'human' weakness. Tessaiga, as usual, was also with him, as a constant reminder of the youkai beneath the surface that waited for an opportunity. The rosary was still missing though. Not that she would have used it anymore, but it certainly answered her questions.

But the fact that he was here confused her. Surely with his new freedom he'd have run and never looked back. Yet his arrival now meant he'd either been waiting for her return or perhaps was just passing through. But if the latter were true, then why even bother making his presence known?

She'd been so upset at him when she'd left. More depressed and resigned than angry. The anger had been reserved for herself when she'd taken the time to force herself to see the truth. She'd certainly been angry when they'd argued, but she had to admit that she'd brought it upon herself half the time.

If she hadn't promised to see it to the end, she'd have tossed him the shards and bid him farewell. So, in order to fully honor that promise, she'd spent the last six months, away from the Sengoku Jidai, finishing her schooling and developing her talents as best she could within such a short time limit. Now the only time she would request to return home would be to let her family know she was alive and update them on their progress. She figured it would take about another year at most.

Crimson movement brought her out of her reveries as he took a small step forward, one arm making motion to rise, but faltering before even beginning. Hesitation was written so clearly on him and she felt her heart spasm in response. She squashed the feeling and watched him in silence. Arching a brow as if to say 'What are you doing?' she nearly cried out as he turned away, shoulders slumped as if defeated.

Behind her, Sango gasped. "But you always…"

She shook her head, steeling herself for the path ahead. "It's not that easy this time, Sango."

Sango and Miroku shared a look between them as their friend gathered up her pack and 'son'. She was always the first to forgive before the rest of them. Where there was once laughter and light, now her eyes were hollow and empty. This went deeper than any of them thought it could go.

(flashback)

"At least Kikyo was capable of defending herself and using her miko powers. Keh, pathetic human; make me sick. Why can't you be more like her?"

The accompanying silence to his outburst was almost eerie.

The group cast worried glances to the young woman who'd been the target of his verbal assault. Everyone waited for the usual outcome as he finally seemed to register his own words; his face falling into a mixture of shock and shame. She stood quietly for a long moment, her inner turmoil reflected upon her face. Finally, she seemed to cave in on herself as her shoulders slumped in a gesture of defeat; suppressed tears making her voice thick.

"Sharing a soul doesn't entitle one to share everything."

She turned on her heel and returned to the village. She never shed those tears, nor did she confide in Sango about how deeply those words had affected her. That evening as she helped Kaede with the sick and injured then cooked dinner; she avoided all conversation as much as possible.

Shippou wisely refrained from asking for candy or a bedtime story, sensing the tension among the adults. He'd glared at the offender whenever he was around, as did the others. Miroku had simply turned his back on the hanyou and even refrained from his usual teasing. Sango had taken it one step further. She'd punched him, and then ignored him.

When Kagome finally turned in for the night, she lay awake long after the others had fallen asleep. She kept replaying his words over and over. It hadn't been much different than their other arguments, except this time she'd given up. It had been three years since she'd freed him and begun their journey. Three years to watch, to learn, to grow. Three years of arguments, insults and tears. Three years of frustration and longing. She sighed softly. Today she'd finally given in to the fact that he would never change. It was time to let go and move on. Burrowing deeper into the sleeping bag, she finally succumbed to sleep.

The next morning they waited for him at the well. She watched him approach with an emptiness in her eyes and pain in her heart. He stopped a few feet away, his head hung low and eyes focused on the ground. When her shoes came into view, he finally met her gaze with surprise in his own.

"Ka…" he tried to start.

She cut him off with a shake of her head, pressing fingertips to his lips. He stared at her in shock; probably expecting her to hit him, scream at him, 'osuwari' him into the next life. Anything but this silence. She looked sad then as she stepped back, slowly shaking her head. Not wanting to see his reaction when he finally noticed what she'd done, she turned away quickly, jumping into the well without a second glance.

A/N:

Standard Disclaimer: Inuyasha is property of Rumiko T.

All other characters are mine unless otherwise mentioned.