1Meanwhile, in the Lost Woods, Saria had invited the other sages to a picnic where they were carrying on a conversation about the recent state of their "Hero of Time", or "Idiot of all Time", as they constantly called him. "I feel so sorry for Zelda," Saria said. "It is traditionally expected of her to marry the one who saved her. The poperatsi will be all over their case."
"It's going to be one of those 'celeberaty marriages'," Ruto commented. I hope he goes after me finally after the divorce.
Malon, arriving at a secret picnic with the bribe of cake, had taken a seat among the girls. "Dat dumb blon'," she cried in the middle of a bite. "He've suh a loser!"
"Careful there, don't choke yourself," said Ruto uncaringly.
Malon took a large gulp of milk. "Sorry. Anyway, if Zelda's going crazy because of him, why should you want to be next?"
Ruto considdered that for a second, then replied, "She's the voice of reason. Reject!"
All the sages promptly agreed to shove Malon back to Kakeriku, and that was the end of the discussion.

Now, after much bribery and complaining, the author finally bowed down to her friend's superiority and allowed her into the story. So here she is, wandering around in Hyrule. . . stuck in an empty hole. :D
"WHAT!" shouted Li. "Why am I stuck in a hole? And why did you call me Li? I'm Kel- Li. . . arg!" Li began running around the inside of the hole until she came across something very hard. There was a very annoyed "Owe!" and a soft shattering sound.
"What the-" Li suddenly noticed the contents of the now- broken pot. "It's a bomb!" she shouted happily. "Yey, yey, it's a bomb, me go splode something now! And- wait, how do I get out of this hole?"

Link had set off early in the morning on a very special mission. His purpose for the day was such: "I'm gonna visit Ganon, gonna eat some cookies! Yey, cookies!"
As he skipped down the path to the recently made hospital, Link began singing a tune. "Mary had a lit-tle lamb who's niece was bright as her bow!" This concluded in the unfortunate death of several birds as their eardrums were blasted in a firey explosion.
As Link skipped along up the road he began to worry that Ganon might not recognise him. Earlier that morning Zelda had rushed him out the door with a basket of cookies still in his red hooded pajamas. Link now felt very strange without his normal green tunic.
Then, as he walked along the path, a shaddowy figure loomed behind a tree. It was the unsuspected figure of a wolf.