Chapter 13 – Miasma

Other than the rain, the only sound within the cave was Kagome's labored breathing. Inuyasha was glad that she hadn't protested when he had picked her up and still hadn't. He took it as a good sign, despite their words earlier. When she'd screamed he hadn't thought twice about rushing to her side, to protect her. It was only now, as he returned to the fire with her cradled in his arms, that he remembered the decision he'd come to earlier. A decision he was quickly discarding because he there was no way he was going to give up on her now that he'd admitted, at least to himself, the depth of his feelings for her.

Picking the wall closest to the fire, he dropped down, cross-legged and leaned against the wall, settling Kagome in his lap, leaning against him. He knew that to barrage her with questions right now wasn't what she needed. He was simply content for the moment to enjoy the silence and concentrate on gathering little bits of information so he could ask the right questions later.

The first thing he assessed was her breathing; it was shallow, sharp and obviously one of pain. Something he could do nothing about unless he knew the cause of it, but he had a sinking feeling he wouldn't be able to help even then. She was also crying; not the kind of crying she did over injuries or harsh words, but the silent kind that told him the pain ran deep. Instead of sobs, she whimpered so softly that had he not been inu-hanyou he may have never heard it. Both the tears and the whimpers tore at his heart and he wrapped her in his arms, offering what comfort he could, silently telling her that he was there for her.

Next, he used his eyes to find what his ears couldn't. She wasn't showing any signs of physical injury that he could see, but he knew from experience that injuries weren't always visible. She had curled in on herself, despite sitting in his lap, somewhat burying her face in his chest although he could still see her eyes shut tightly as though the action alone would stave off whatever caused her pain. He could also see the trail of old tears and beginnings of new ones beneath her lashes. Without really thinking about it, he reached up with his free hand and gently brushed away the gathering tears. For one brief moment he was elated as she leaned into his hand, then, seeming to realize what she was doing, stiffened and pulled away.

Removing his hand, he closed his eyes and stifled a sigh at her blatant rejection. Have I truly been so awful? Is it really too late?

The immediate scent that assaulted him was the miasma and he had to restrain the urge to growl. She wasn't Naraku, and the bastard hadn't laid a hand on her because she didn't smell of him, but the scent of the miasma was unmistakable. Just the same, he hugged her a little closer, damning himself for not preventing whatever had caused her to smell like that.

He was relieved that there was no scent of blood on her, ruling out physical injuries for now. He buried his nose in her hair, half out of desperation and half needing reassurance that she was still untouched, still Kagome, still…his. The sweet scent of a meadow in spring wafted about her, the scent that he'd come to identify as solely Kagome's. No other smelled like her; even in life Kikyou had a scent that reminded him of winter. He quickly tossed out the thought of Kikyou; this wasn't about her, it was about Kagome.

Another deep sniff brought his own scent to his nose and he lifted his head in puzzlement. He'd been able to smell this off her earlier, but now… it was strongest in her hair and that alone was puzzling. Why would her hair smell so strongly of him when he hadn't touched her until the tengu attacked? Without regards to any protest Kagome might decide to make, he tugged the strip of cloth binding the end of her braid free and sniffed it once. My haori! She'd either ripped it off or collected it from one of his many fights. But why… why use it to tie back her hair? While pondering the question, he slowly slid his claws into her braid, undoing it with a gentleness that belied his true intentions.

It was more than a mere strip of cloth that made her smell of him and it was coming from her hair… more precisely that hair near her neck. When, at last, the braid was undone, he ran his hand through the length of it as a makeshift comb. When he encountered a tangle at the nape of her neck, he grunted as Kagome jammed her elbow into his stomach in an attempt to get away. Tightening his grip around her, he slowly removed his hand from the tangle, blindly tracing the edges to determine how to unknot it as he tried to apologize for hurting her.

"It's knotted…"

Somehow it didn't soothe her as he'd expected and she only intensified her struggles, which in turn worsened his attempts to smooth out the knot. After a solid minute of her wiggling, which, had it been under different circumstances would have had him thinking of things best done without clothing, he snapped and let out a short, harsh bark. The effect was immediate as she stilled and dared a glance up at him. To another inu-youkai the command would have been easily interpreted as 'stop'. To a human, however, the sound was translatable, but it did make them stop to discern what the noise was.

With a sigh he resumed his ministrations, trying to ignore her eyes on him. Whatever was in her hair had her frightened; her fear was palpable. As the knot finally gave way, he slowly pulled his claws through to smooth it out and froze. There, wrapped around his fingers, were several strands of silver hair… his hair. No wonder she was scared… Well… it certainly explains why she smells like me…

Lost in his contemplation what exactly his findings meant, he didn't notice Kagome look away. He'll surely ask me about it…and he'll hate me for it if I tell him why. Kagome stared at the leg her own legs were draped over, wondering how she could get herself out of this mess. Giving in to her desire to be held was probably the biggest mistake of the night. He'd never let her go now.

"I see what he meant now…" came the soft whisper near her ear as he buried his face in her hair once more.

She gulped, wishing she could avoid this, but knowing she couldn't. "Wh..who?" She ground out over the pain.

"Sesshoumaru…" he sighed. She'd probably gotten the hairs from her brush when he'd dared to let down his guard and let her brush his hair when no one was around. He brought his hand around to show her the hairs and the strip of cloth.

"Why, Kagome? You push me away and yet you carry my scent… why?"

Scent? It wasn't about scents…I just wanted… she sniffed, trying to stave off a fresh wave of tears.

"Remembrance," she whispered, hanging her head in shame.

"Remembrance?" He questioned, his tone clearly telling her he wasn't sure what she meant by that.

She nodded slowly, refusing to meet his gaze when he tried to tilt her head up. "I wanted something… to remind me of you. So I'd always have a piece of you with me…" She still spoke in whispers, afraid to raise her voice, too ashamed of being found out. I must seem like some crazy stalker…

"Remembrance…" he spoke with understanding as she felt him shift and reach into his haori. "Like these are for me."

Since he wasn't shoving whatever it was under her face, she forced herself to look up and gasped in shock at the sight of the kotodama rosary wrapped around his fingers. He obviously couldn't bear to be parted from it when she'd snapped it. Of course, she thought bitterly. How could he? They're Kikyou's… She bit her lip and looked away, whimpering from the combined pain of memories and the hole in her chest.

Inuyasha didn't think twice as he reacted to her whimpering by grasping the left strap of her sleeveless shirt and pulling it down just enough to reveal the hole that sat on the crest of her breast, over her heart. When she gasped and made to pull up the strap, he grabbed her wrist and growled softly; wordlessly telling her to be still and let him look, that he wasn't going to hurt her. She didn't relax, but she didn't attempt to move either and he allowed himself to focus fully on the 'wound'.

It was larger than last time, or perhaps it only seemed that way since he'd only seen it at a distance before. Releasing the shirt, he gently touched the edges, faintly surprised that the miasma didn't hurt him, nor reach out to absorb him. He'd seen firsthand how quickly Naraku's miasma could bring down a youkai, but this, if his guess was correct, seemed to be agonizingly slow in its spreading. The last time he'd seen this particular type of miasma-inflicted wound had been on Kikyou over two years ago. Had Kagome somehow taken the wound into herself when she'd healed Kikyou?

"Kagome," he struggled to keep himself calm and not over-react by yelling at her for not telling him about this. "How did you get this?"

It is a physical manifestation of the wound upon your soul.

"Stupidity."

He blinked. "Huh?"

"I just did it without thinking… I wasn't trained enough…" She sighed as she spoke and he could tell she didn't really want to be talking about this, but probably knew that he wouldn't let it rest without an explanation. "Instead of healing her, I made a trade."

"Trade?" He whispered, praying that it wasn't what he was thinking.

She nodded, still refusing to look at him. "Another piece of my soul."

Inuyasha felt as if the floor had dropped out from under him and he'd had the wind knocked out of him simultaneously. For a long moment he could simply sit there in shock before his brain kicked back into gear and he twisted her about to force her to look up at him.

"What the hell were you thinking!" He half growled, half yelled at her.

"What?" Her eyes flashed angrily as she pushed against him, trying to get him to release her, but only succeeding in making him tighten his grip. "I did it for you! I thought it would make you happy! I'm always thinking of you!" Her words ended on a combination of harsh cry and a moan, as if she hadn't meant to say those things and yet saying them had somehow hurt.

"Not if it hurts you!"

"Baka! She would have died!" She bowed her head as she gave in to the tears. "I didn't know I screwed up until a month later…"

He gaped at her in disbelief, unable to keep the anguish from spilling into his words. "That was more than two years ago! Why didn't you tell me?"

"You can't fix everything, Inuyasha. This was my burden to bear. I didn't want to shadow your happiness. And I really didn't want you to find out."

"I can't protect you if you don't talk to me…"

"Kikyou doesn't speak to you and you protect her," she ground out bitterly.

He restrained the urge to nip her for her insolence and settled for flicking her ear lightly with his fingers. "That's not what I meant, bitch. Stop being so stubborn and listen!"

Kagome jerked her head away, glaring at him for flicking her ear. "I might if you actually had something to say that's worth listening to," she said angrily.

He frowned. "I've half a mind to smack some sense into you. Are you trying to piss me off?"

"Oh, yes. I just live to please you." She snorted and looked away, wishing she could cross her arms for full effect, but unable to do so with Inuyasha still pining her arms.

That's it!

He released a frustrated growl as he turned her face back towards him and crashed his lips against hers. He'd meant to punish her with his kiss, to show her his dominance, but found himself lost the moment he tasted her. He cradled her face between his hands as he eased the pressure, nipping softly at her bottom lip and earning a gasp for his efforts. Taking advantage of the moment, he flicked his tongue against her upper lip, and then kissed her once more. She tasted like sweet fruit and sunshine, starlight and honey; an addicting combination he didn't want to let go.

She never expected such a reaction and for a moment was too stunned to react to his kiss. She told herself she should push him away; slap him, anything to break the kiss. But when he nipped her bottom lip, she gasped and all rational thought vanished as she gave in to her desires. She had wanted him for years and if this were all she would obtain from him then she would take what he offered and damn the consequences. He was earth and pine, wind and rain; his kiss was as intoxicating as his scent and she knew she would never forget it. The thought alone brought more tears to her eyes and all too soon, it seemed, the kiss ended.

He was breathing heavily as he pulled back, gently licking the tears from the corners of her eyes before resting his forehead against hers. He hadn't meant to lose control like that, but she had provoked him one too many times for him to keep ignoring her. And given the choice of either kissing her senseless or shaking her, he'd opted for the kiss, not thinking about any possible repercussions for doing it. She had yet to yell at him, so he took it as a good sign that perhaps she'd wanted the kiss as much as he had.

Pulling her shirt strap back into place, he tucked her against him as he leaned back against the wall and wrapped his arms around her. He had thought earlier to let her go, thinking she wanted that boy back in her time, Hobo or something, or even the wimpy wolf, Kouga. He'd been willing to give up the claim he'd laid on her over a year ago, but after kissing her… after her eager response… He knew he would be insane to give up so easily. Things weren't resolved completely between them, but it was a start and he'd learned something new. Her scent had shifted during the kiss and he'd nearly whined at what it meant. He wasn't sure about love, but she was certainly attracted, and that was a start, wasn't it?

A/N:

Holy Tripe! It appears my muse found me during my son's naptime today since I cranked this one out in 3 hours! Enjoy cuz 14 will probably evade me for a week in retaliation LOL I can be found on AIM (LadyKiseki) and Yahoo (artisticmoon) if anyone cares to talk.

And if you want to see what happens when you combine Adam Sandler w/ Inuyasha, then check this out!

Warning! Do NOT consume beverages while watching….

http / venus . walagata . com / w / saiyukii / ifeelpretty . swf

Shameless Fic Plug – Got a fic you think more people should know about? Let me know, I'll 'plug' it. LOL

Featured Shameless Plug – Sloppy Seconds by CutiePieHentai

She's in my fav list on ffnet

Reviewers

MMorg

sutlesarcasm (thanks!)

nerwenfaelvirin (Sue rocks! LOL Thanks for the review!)

FFnet

Sorceress of Dragons (Thanks for such a wonderful review! You're Kikyou question was briefly touched on at the end of Chapter 8, but I hope I explained it further in this chapter.) --- Drake Clawfang --- dizappearingirl (Conflict and tension lol) --- Raithya (Wheee! I'm an "Original" lol) --- trekker4life --- Strike Redkite (hands over another box of tissues)