1Li was truding along the endless fields and forests of Hyrule very sulkily. She had a lantern, but the darkness was still there. Zelda was getting less insane now, and she had taken up a conversation with Cloud once she realized that liking Roy was bad for her health. But somehow Li was still upset. She couldn't put a finger on it. Finally, she heard a growling sound and realized that she was hungry.
"Where can we get some food?" asked Li.
"Where are we?" asked Zelda.
Cloud stared at them. "We're wandering in the middle of a forest. Where do you expect to find any form of food?"

-zappedy-

Li walked around a corner and saw a building. The large neon sign on the front said "The Rock". It was a pub. "There," said Li. "Good enough for you?"
Cloud stood baffled. "Bu-bu-bu-"
Roy looked dubious but decided to go inside anyway. Zelda looked relieved.
Inside it was dimly lit. The walls were covered in rocks. The ceiling looked like it was marble. Up near the front were several gorons with drinks. Li walked up to a waiter. "Can we get some seats sir?"
"Why certainly. That'll be 40 rupees for a table."
Li looked at her money. She had 7 rupees. She looked over at Link, who should by now have backed away but simply looked stupid as usual.
"Link, give me 40 rupees!" Li mugged Link for his money. "30 rupees. Not enough." She looked over at the rest of them.
Zelda sighed. "I have 10 rupees. Here." She handed Li 7 of them.
The waiter took the money and walked away. Shortly afterwards two families of gorons came in and were told the tables were free.
They sat down at the table. The chairs were enormous, and on the table was a small basket full of pebbles. It looked like a bread basket.
The waitor returned. They ordered the house special without glancing at the menue and one drink each, though Li had never drank before. She was more worried about the bill. That being said, when she saw a goron had left his wallet on the table while he talked to a girl, Li wasted no time on the opportunity.
Link started making weird popping sounds.
"Link, stop it!"
Link stopped. He started juggling the pebbles instead.
"Grr. When will the food get here!"
The waitor returned with their order: a very large stone platter holding what appeared to be small, round, greyish rocks. "We collect the plates," informed the waitor, as if they might do something with it. Cloud looked over to see a goron woman about to bite a chunk out of her plate, and her husband telling her not to.
"Well," said Li, "at least the drinks are making everything fuzzy. I don't think I want to know what reality looks like any more." She took a large gulp.
Link looked dubiously at the main course and put one in his mouth. He let out a painful yelp when the rock met with his teath.
Li asked the waitor if there were any inns nearby and was told that the bar also offered an inn upstairs. They finished and went upstairst to order rooms.
"50 rupees per room per day," recited the goron unenthusiastically.

Demon King: "Unenethicallie- Uthenicly- Sctnyllys-"-How do you say a word with 9 vowels in a row?-

"Darnit!" said Li, digging into the stolen wallet. "Only 120 rupees. Enough for two rooms."
Zelda, who had been leaning closer to a frightened Cloud, said, "I'll share a room with him." She smiled mischieviously.

"Misuchiv- Vilimiks- Miskivilinny-"
-SHUT UP! WHAM-
"Ouchies!"

Li looked at her with revoltion. "Okay, boys in one room, girls in the other." She glanced at Link. "Which room does that put him in?"
"Link can sleep outside," replied Cloud.
"Lock him in a closet," said Zelda.
"Who cares?" exclaimed Roy. "I'm tired."