Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Warning: Implied slash, lots of water due to showering, and all the fuss therein.

Shower the People

I Know What Boys Like (a.k.a. Hot Stuff)

Sirius Black showers in the morning.

He does it out of necessity, because otherwise he wouldn't be properly awake until after lunch. And because he's a hormonally-driven teenaged boy. He can't help it. He's only human, after all, pureblood or not, and he dreams, and wakes up, and showers. Hot showers when he has time, cold when he doesn't.

It's perfectly normal, what Sirius likes to do in the shower. He'd be the first to tell anyone that. 'Wanking' (as James so eloquently puts it) is a natural part of any boy's life. And Sirius is more than happy to discuss natural tendencies with anyone who might ask. Sirius is loud, proud, and confident, and everyone knows it. However, if the conversation becomes more specific, Sirius will mumble something about buying magazines and change the subject faster than a Snitch can disappear – subtly, of course.

The disinherited Black heir had been convinced for ages that he was a "late bloomer." The other boys in his year (with the exception of Remus, of course) had all begun noticing girls way back in third year, some even earlier. He'd listened to their talk, and joked around with them, but had never been particularly interested in the subject matter. He'd started wanking, but he never had any specific images of girls in his head when he did it, despite the magazines he and James would smuggle into the dorm to pore over. Sirius understood that the busty witches were attractive, but he never felt attracted to them, or turned on by them, though it was clear the other boys were (with the exception of Remus, who refused to look at what he referred to as 'degrading art' – but Remus was friends with Lily, and got on well enough with the other girls they knew, so it wasn't particularly surprising that he would feel such things were offensive, and, besides, Remus was always much more prudish than the other boys). If Sirius was honest with himself, he was far more turned on by his broomstick than by the scantily clad females his friends drooled over, and, despite its shiny finish, he knew the broom wasn't nearly as aesthetically pleasing as the women other boys gawked at.

Then, in fourth year, Sirius realized that maybe he wasn't such a late bloomer after all. Maybe he was just looking for temptation in the wrong places. Walking in on two boys making out in the locker room had brought to light a whole new genre of thought, and, for the first time, Sirius had something real to think about in the shower. After that, though he continued to joke around with his friends, Sirius had stopped trying to find girls appealing.

Now Sirius has something else to find appealing, and he doesn't have to look far to find it.

He can often hear Remus moving around in the shower stall next to him, and sometimes he runs into the other boy coming in or going out of the bathroom, but Remus never speaks to him on these occasions, clearly lost in his own world. Sirius wonders what it's like there, which is a much safer pastime than any other wonderings Sirius might have concerning his lycanthropic friend.

He tries to keep his thoughts hidden. It's safer that way. He doesn't want to risk losing his best friend. James is the only one who knows, and the messy-haired boy has sworn to keep silent on the matter.

Sirius never speaks of his cogitations, and he struggles to keep his impulses under control when he's with his friends.

But when he's in the shower, Sirius is willing to indulge, that's what the shower's for, after all. But what it is he indulges in… he'd never tell.

Next: The Girl

A/N: See, even longer this time! The next (and last) one will be short, though. 10 reviews, and I'll post Lily! So please review and tell me what you thought!