Robin: (Returns, dissheveled, with Riku and Axel in tow, equally dissheveled) Wow. (snaps. They're back in costume.

Everyone else: We don't WANNA know

Robin: GOOD! I don't own anything execpt myself. I know this chapter's short, but I was having writers block. Bite me. Riku, if you please.

Riku: (clears his throat) One from the vaults.

Tifa: Bloody gloves? Go plant them at Sephiroth's place!

Sephiroth: I resent that

Robin: Go away, you're not part of this fic.

(Sora looks upset)

Riku: Oh baby, don't be upset, it was a mercy killing! He had a certain naïve charm, but no muscle! But a deltoid, and a bicep, a cut groin, and a tricep, makes me... shake! Makes me wanna take Charles Atlas by the

Sora: BALLS!

Riku: (glares) Hand. In just seven days

Sora: And six long nights!

Riku: I can make you a man (starts walking downstage)

Riku Fangirls: STRUT IT HOTSTUFF!

Riku: I don't want dissention, just dynamic tension!

Naminé: I'm a muscle fan!

Roxas: (looks hurt)

Naminé: part of the script again, dear.

Riku: In just seven days I can make you a man! Dig it if you can! In just seven days I can make you a man! (music fades into wedding march. Demyx and Kairi pull aside curtain to reveal wedding suite.)

Sora: Sorry, slash fans, it ends here.

Slash fans: Awww!

(Back to Sexy Zexy!)

Zexion: There are those who say life is an illusion,

Sora: LIKE YOUR NECK!

Zexion: that reality is simply a figment of the imagination.

Sora: LIKE YOUR NECK!

Zexion: (glares) If this is so, then Brad and Janet are quite safe. However, the sudden departure of their host and his creation, into the seclusion of his somber bridal suite had left them feeling both apprehensive and uneasy. Woo, sex scene time! A feeling which grew Unlike my neck, apparently, as the other guests departed and they were shown to their separate rooms. Woo, Riku's about to GET IT ON!

Riku: Shut up.

(Main scenes, two bedrooms. One pink, one blue. Naminé is shown into the pink one, Roxas to the blue one.

(pink room. There's a curtain, everything is silhouetted)

(door opens)

Naminé: Who's there?

Riku: (disguising his voice to sound like Roxas) It's only me, Janet

Naminé: Oh..(realizes it's Riku, not Roxas) OH! It's YOU!

(Random noises indicating something happening behind the curtain.)

Riku/Naminé fans: YAY!

(curtain parts on accident, to reveal Riku and Naminé playing cards while they make the noises.)

Riku: Got any queens?

Naminé: Go fish…aw damn (closes curtain)

Robin: uh…..

Riku/Naminé fans: DAMN!

Robin: (snaps to blue room)

(blue room. There's a curtain, everything is silhouetted)

(door opens)

Roxas: Who's there?

Riku: (disguising his voice to sound like Naminé) It's only me, Brad

Roxas: Oh..(realizes it's Riku, not Naminé) OH! It's YOU!

(Random noises indicating something happening behind the curtain.)

Riku/Roxas Fans: Oh, no, we don't trust you after what you did to the Riku/Naminé fans. (they pull curtains aside to reveal Roxas and Riku really getting it on

Robin: WTF?

Riku: SHUT THE DAMN CURTAIN PEOPLE!

Demyx: (enters, looking sick to his stomach) Master, Rocky has escaped.

Riku: SHUT THE GODDAMN CURTAIN AND GET THE HELL OUT, WE'RE BUSY HERE!

Robin: Ok, next scene! (runs and hides)

(scene changes to lab on right half of stage, on left are Robin and Kairi watching on a monitor as if they're being vouyers.

Naminé: (goes to tank) (sees Sora, injured.) Oh, you poor thing! What did they do to you? I'll dress your wounds!

Riku: Sora's about to get some!

Sora: (summons Fenrir. Riku backs up. Sora banishes the keyblade)

Zexion: Emotion: Agitation or disturbance of mind, vehement or excited mental state. It is also a powerful and irrational master. And from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on their television monitor, there seemed little doubt that Janet was indeed it's slave.

Robin and Kairi: Tell us about it Janet!

Naminé: I was feeling done in, couldn't win. The only other I'd kissed before.

Robin: You mean she's…

Kairi: Uh-huh!

Naminé: I thought there's no use getting into heavy petting. It only leads to trouble andseat wetting. Now all I want to know is how to go. I've tasted blood and I want more.

Robin & Kairi: More, more, more!

Riku, Axel, Demyx, Robin's friend Luke, and all the other males in the cast: (realize they're pitching a tent due to the almost-lesbianism on one side of the stage and the blatant almost-sex on the other)

Naminé: I'll put up no resistance, I want to stay the distance. I've got an itch to scratch, I need assistance! Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me, I wanna be dirty! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me creature of the night. (Sora starts feeling up Naminé)

Riku, Axel, Demyx, Robin's friend Luke, and all the other males in the cast: Oh crap…

Naminé: Then if anything grows while you pose I'll oil you up and rub you down

Robin & Kairi: Down, Down, Down!

Naminé: And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction. You need a friendly hand and I need action! (Sora grabs her boobs. Surprisingly she dosen't object)

Roxas: What the fuck? I thought you were mine!

Robin: Yeah, well I thought Riku was mine too, ya bastard.

Naminé: Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me, I wanna be dirty! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me creature of the night.

(Robin and Kairi are having a pillow fight)

Robin: Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me
Kairi: I wanna be dirty!

Robin: Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me

Kairi: creature of the night.