Say My Name

Written by shade vox

s/v: No really strong warnings about anything here. Except for the concept of gay people. But no, this isn't a yaoi fic, so please do not be alarmed.

Disclaimer: Star Ocean 3 belongs to Tri-Ace/Ubisoft/Square-Enix.

Chapter Three

All Hail Mirage Koas!

"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME, WORM!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE ON ME, YOU SICK BASTARD!"

And then, as if anyone needed the situation to get worse, Roger finally got his words out.

"Albel... you ain't GAY are ya?"

And, of course... chaos ensued.

The battle was disorganized and confusing, where everyone got whacked around the head a lot by Albel's sheathed Crimson Scourge and scratched by his claws. People tripped as Roger dove between their legs ("I see your underwear!" – Roger. Gets stomped on by Maria. Roger: twitch twitch) to try to escape, and getting flipped by Cliff is never fun.

"Then you're a bi?"

"You really want to die, don't you!"

"Guys, let's calm down – " there was a sound of a fist connecting with a jaw. "What the hell was that for!"

"Sorry Fayt. Reflex!"

Unnoticed by her brawling team mates, Mirage Koas stood up quietly from her finished meal and smiled at... nothing really. She slipped into the battle happening right in front of the table, ignoring the horrified messenger who was cowering by the doorway. When she was in the thick of the fight, she set to work. Grabbing the nearest people's heads (Fayt and Roger), she bashed them together enough to make them see stars, then went on to grab Sophia's and Peppitta's, then Maria's and Nel's, then finally Cliff and Albel who she put the most force behind.

To the messenger, it seemed as if an angel-like person had just defeated the whole group (including Lord Albel Nox!) and was now standing in the midst of groaning wounded fighters on the floor, smiling. No, it's a demon. A demon is standing in the rubble! The messenger looked around in fear and hid behind the grandfather clock.

Mirage dusted off her hands and looked at her feet, where Albel and Cliff were groaning and clutching their heads. With no apparent difficulty, the smaller blond woman picked both men up by their collars and shoved them into their seats and hit the back of their necks.

"That hurt, woman!" Albel finally managed to snarl. In a lesser man the tone would have sounded like a whine. He tried to reach up to rub the part of his head where Mirage and bashed Cliff's into his, but found that he couldn't move his arms. His mind froze. He tried to move his arms again. Nothing. Legs. Nothing. Was this because he really was going insane...?

Apparently not, because Cliff glared at Mirage. "you didn't have to do this."

Mirage grinned slightly, "if I hadn't, you would still be fighting like barbarians."

"No! Still, you didn't have to press that pressure point!"

Annoying child, Albel thought with contempt.

"What pressure point?" Albel interjected venomously. He glared at the maggot standing before him.

Mirage acted as if she didn't notice his death glare. "The pressure point behind your neck. When pressed, the signals from your brain are intercepted from traveling down your spinal cord to reach other parts of your body."

Cliff sighed dejectedly. "Meaning we can only move our head and neck now until it wears off."

"Really?" Roger asked interestedly, peering from around a chair leg. He seemed to have recovered first from the others, probably due to the fact that he was wearing a helmet.

Albel glowered. "I'll make sure that you pay adequately later for your cheek, maggot."

"I don't think we should go that far," Fayt mumbled as he helped a dazed Sophia up from the floor and into a chair. Peppitta clambered onto one as well and slumped with her head on the table.

Maria shook off Fayt who was trying to help her and sat in her chair. "Alright Albel, what the hell was all that about?"

"And be honest," Fayt intoned.

Albel scowled. "My body just moved on its own. I had nothing to do with it."

The group stared stonily back at the immobile Glyphian lord, clearly disbelieving.

"That is the saddest excuse for an excuse I've ever heard in my life," Maria declared.

"If you're gay, then just say it," Roger deadpanned. Albel tried to reach for his Crimson Scourge, but was reminded that he couldn't move when his arm didn't respond and opted for a death glare instead.

"I won't repeat myself, maggot. I. Am. Not. Gay." Albel hissed. Roger disappeared behind Mirage's legs in fear.

"Then explain why you kissed Cliff," Peppitta piped up.

"Quiet! Don't say that again!" Cliff shouted. "I don't want to be reminded!"

"And I already told you that my body just moved on its own! Since when have I ever liked the giant maggot!" Albel shouted back.

Sophia glanced at the stoic Mirage and sensed that a storm was brewing inside her skin. Gulping, she tried desperately to think of something to calm everyone down. "Guys, let's calm down and think about this. Maybe Albel's just in denial or-"

"I AM NOT IN DENIAL, WORM! I'M NOT GAY!"

Illumination

"Actually..."

Everyone turned to look at Nel, who had gone unnoticed until then. She leaning against the window, arms crossed, scarf covering the lower half of her face, and her head bowed so that her hair shielded most of her eyes. Her emerald eyes glittered in the sunset's light.

Albel froze. For an instant, his heart constricted and a strange feeling overwhelmed him. A feeling he had not felt in years.

"Actually," Nel repeated. "I think he's telling the truth."

"You believe him? You?" Roger gasped in shock.

"Shut up, brat. I'd take this choice over the other." Cliff shivered in disgust.

Nel gave an admonishing glare. "Roger, you're treading on a thin line as it is. I advise you to keep your mouth shut."

Roger gave a meek nod and disappeared under the table.

"What were you saying again?" Sophia prompted.

Nel cleared her throat. "I'm saying that this has happened with Albel before."

"What?"

Roger popped out from beneath the table and pointed his finger from Cliff to Albel and back again. "You're both gay aren't ya!"

Before either could deny it, Mirage picked up the midget and threw him out the window. "You can listen from out there," she called. The group froze and looked at each other, this is one scary lady.

"Let's listen to Nel's whole story before we jump to conclusions, alright?"

"Yes ma'am."

Nel coughed to hide a chuckle. "This has happened before with Albel today," she started, noticing that Albel had turned his death glare to her now, silently telling her to shut up and be quiet. She thought she saw a faint pink tinge on his cheeks. "Earlier, after we came back from the meeting, I found him in his room and I told him what the king wanted him to know, then we got into an argument which ended when he kissed me. After that he told me he hated me."

"Y'mean, exactly like what happened here, only this time with Cliff?" Roger asked, popping up beside Nel's left shoulder on the windowsill.

However, most of the group were now gawking at the captain of the Black Brigade once again. "You kissed Nel?" Fayt asked wonderingly. He'd thought like everyone else that Albel hated Nel because they came from two countries which despised the other. Being the captain of the Black Brigade and being the Crimson Blade added even more distrust to the equation.

"I didn't do it because I wanted to! My body just moved on its own!" Albel denied hotly. There was a definite tinge in his cheeks now.

Peppitta giggled, "Albel's a kissing machine!"

This made everyone laugh as Albel glared, temperature and fury rising. He cursed the maggot (Mirage) for making him unable to move. He tried in vain to make his arm move to grasp his sword, but was struck with an idea of revenge.

"But that's not all that happened," Albel said in a tone that he knew would catch everyone's attention. Everyone silenced to chuckles to pay attention to him. He glimpsed a flash of alarm in Nel's green eyes and chuckled inside. Two for two, Zelpher. "Before I came out of my room, Zelpher barged in yelling my name while I was getting out of the shower."

Another frozen silence as everyone rounded on the flushing Crimson Blade. "It was an accident!" Nel protested, feeling her face get hot. "I heard him in his room and I went in to send a message from the king to him." She looked around at the array of stunned faces and hid her face deeper into her scarf self-consciously. "He had towels on! He wasn't completely naked, alright?" Trying to find some people who would understand, she scanned the group and spotted the supremely smug look on Albel's face. Her blood was set to simmering as she narrowed her green eyes to slits. Watch me, Nox. One day I'll skin you alive...

Which wasn't likely going to happen, but that didn't matter right now.

Thankfully, Maria came to the rescue. "Albel, when did this start to happen? I remember that you were fine at breakfast."

Albel looked sullen now. "I don't know. Around five."

Maria pressed on. "Do you remember anything out of the ordinary? Anything that happened that might have triggered this err... condition?"

Cliff looked thoughtful. "Wasn't this when you were skipping the meeting?"

Albel scowled at the man in the chair beside him.

Mirage raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Well, Albel? If we don't know what happened, we can't properly find a solution to your problem."

"C'mon Kissing Machine! You can tell us!" Peppitta pouted.

"Unless you really are..." Roger trailed off, grinning evilly.

That prompted Albel to speak. "Fine, maggots... I was sleeping in the storage room when something spilled on me from the ceiling. That's the only thing I can think of."

At this point, Cliff, Roger, and Fayt exchanged alarmed looks.

Maria considered this in her chair. "Let's sort this. We all went to the meeting and Albel hid in the storage room. While he was sleeping someone spilled something on him, and he went to his room to take a shower. Nel came in, then went out after she realized he just got out of the shower. She came back later to tell him the message. Albel kisses her and then tells her he hates her. That about right?"

Both Nel and Albel nodded in affirmation, trying hard not to look at each other.

"Did you see who did it?" Sophia asked with worry.

Albel glared, half sullen, half angry. "Since there are no corpses lying around, no I haven't found out who yet."

Mirage ignored the others as they shivered at the malicious promise in Albel the Wicked's tone. "What kind of liquid was it?"

Albel looked like he didn't want to answer any more questions, but gave in when he caught the steely glint in the blond woman's eye. "It was purple, and stung. It seemed to be acidic. And smelled like peaches."

Cliff perked up. "Hey, now that you mention it, you do smell like peaches..." He drifted off as he remembered the ingredient he and Roger had argued over in the making of their Shark Fin soup. His heart sank with dread. He knew what Albel had been drenched in. His immediate future when everyone found out, including Albel and Mirage, looked bleak. More like bloody...

Mirage noticed Cliff's guilty expression. She quickly glanced back at Roger by the window and caught his stricken look. Fayt seemed to be troubled as well, from the furrow of his brows. She felt the familiar small grin slide back into place on her lips. "Cliff, what happened to the pot I asked you to dispose?" she asked almost pleasantly, but she caught Cliff flinching the smallest of flinches.

Cliff coughed and looked away. He knew Mirage knew now. She knew him better than anyone here. He was royally screwed. Well, it's all in the open now, he thought glumly. "I didn't have time to call Marietta to bring the Diplo to dispose it safely on board, so I left it on the floor of the spare bathroom."

"And?" Albel seemed to have cottoned on quickly, his crimson eyes slits as he waited beside him.

"And yeah," Cliff took a deep breath, "and it seems to have been acidic when you cool the temperature and ate a hole through the bathroom floor to the storage room."

Pause.

"As soon as this wears off, I am skinning you alive," Albel vowed with conviction. Roger gulped and hid behind Nel. Cliff tried to shrug it off, telling himself that Mirage is scarier, which didn't exactly lift his spirits.

"Weren't you two banned from the kitchen?" Sophia asked, puzzled.

"Yeah," Cliff sighed.

"Then why did you try to cook again?"

Cliff caught a look with Roger. "Uh, we were just trying to... see what we can actually make."

Even to his own ears, the excuse sounded so lame. Scratch that, I won't HAVE a future.

"I see," Mirage said slowly, and her words sent chills down Cliff's spine. Not because she raised her voice or anything, but he knew her well enough to know that she was very, very mad. He wouldn't make it though the day without breaking a few bones to be sure.

"Wait," Maria said, frowning as she looked at the fingers she had absently been counting. "We still don't know what triggers him to kiss someone."

Everyone was quiet as they contemplated. Albel was trying to think back, silently tapping his heel... tapping his heel? With a jolt, he realized he could move his feet. Forgetting about thinking, he tried moving his body. Most of his body reacted to his orders. The only part which was unresponsive was his torso. He gritted his teeth as he realized that his hands and feet were tingling with pins and needles.

"I think," Nel said dryly, "it's when anybody says his full name."

Cliff turned his head to regard Albel quizzically. "Really?" Albel didn't think that he realized he could move his body yet. Fool.

"S'that true?" Roger wondered aloud. Nel spotted the mischievous look on his face just in time just as Sophia spotted Peppitta's. Both reached over and clamped a hand over their mouths tightly as they both tried to say Albel's full name at the same time.

Cliff chuckled. "You owe them for that one, Albel Nox."

Fayt and Nel only had a moment to shoot Cliff an aghast look as Albel rose in his seat and kissed Mirage. The moment stretched as Cliff watched, mouth agape in abject horror. Then, Albel thrust her away, "I hate you."

"Mmhmm," Mirage murmured and flicked his hands off her shoulders, nonchalant. "Well, that confirms it. Whenever someone says your full name, you kiss the person nearest to you. Now, we'll have to work on an antidote, I don't know how long that will take but – "

"Hold on just a sec! You just kiss Mirage and –" Cliff stopped in mid-sentence as he found a very sharp katana pressed to his neck. He wasn't scared, but it was pressing against his jugular vein, and any more angry out spurts right now would cause more pressure and the blade just might cut him. Hey, he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but he wasn't the dullest either.

"In case you've forgotten worm, you're the thing that uttered my blasted name," Albel hissed, grip tightening on his sword's hilt.

Cliff raised his hands and shrugged, "alrighty, sorry man. Didn't mean ta do that, jus' came out okay?"

Mirage pushed the sword away from Cliff's neck (she was strong for a maggot). "We don't need Sophia to clean the whole house when you're finished Albel. We should also start trying to make an antidote. Cliff and Roger will tell us exactly how they made it, and we'll ask some of the inventors from the Guild to help out if they'd like."

Albel sheathed the Crimson Scourge and looked disdainfully down at the shorter blond woman. "It seems you're the one with brains of this pair, maggot."

Mirage smiled calmly at the nearest thing to a compliment Albel could give. Then she gripped Cliff by the forearm and he winced slightly. "Since it's already late, we'll have to work out an antidote tomorrow. Everyone, just remember to not say Albel's full name."

"Yes ma'am," everyone said unanimously.

There was an unfamiliar cough by the grandfather clock. "Ehm, excuse me but..."

Dilemma

The forgotten royal messenger from Airyglyph sidled out from behind the grandfather clock with dignity and dusted himself off. He picked up the scroll he'd abandoned on the floor when the fight broke out and shook it out. "I have a message from King Arzei of Airyglyph for Lord Albel –"

"DON'T SAY IT!" everyone shouted in alarm.

The messenger stopped, looking miffed. "I was not about to repeat my mistake, I assure you. Shall I continue?"

Fayt and Albel nodded. "And make it short," Albel commanded, eyes glinting ruby red. He was not in the best of moods tonight. He could feel his reputation become warped, and being laughed at was never an enjoying past time.

"Very well," the messenger inclined his head and ruffled the scroll importantly. "King Arzei of Airyglyph would like to request for Lord Albel's service in a mission. This mission concerns the elimination of an underground conspiracy group who are intent on disrupting the peace between Airyglyph and Acquios. If you should choose to accept this mission, Lord Albel, I will relay the confirmation as soon as possible and enclose to you details of the mission given to me by the King."

The group looked from the messenger to Albel in the dimming light of the setting sun. Maria got up and flicked on the lights. The stoic expression was visible now on Albel's face. "I shall accept the King's request."

Nel looked up, "but if you do, then you'll have to go in public. Or what if you find the leader and he addresses you with your full name? It wouldn't leave much of an impression if you kissed the leader in front of the group."

Cliff crossed his arms and sat down in his chair again, "you've got a point."

"But he can't go around plugging his ears all the time," Fayt pointed out as he patted Peppitta on the shoulder to wake her up. "You should go to bed," he whispered.

"Looks like you're gonna have to stay cooped up here until we make an antidote," chimed Roger.

This earned Roger a crimson glare. "I will not stay here like a bloody coward! I have been requested to exterminate pests, and that is what I will do."

"But seriously, Nel's right," Fayt chipped in. "You'd be left open and vulnerable when you kiss someone out of your will."

Maria looked up from the table with a strange look in her blue eyes. "There is a way to counter this problem for now until the antidote is created."

"What?" Albel snapped impatiently, crossing his arms and looked haughty.

Maria crossed her arms as well. "Here are the choices," she replied coolly, "one, you can stay here until we make an antidote. Two, you can go running off on your own and get killed while hitting on some guy. Three, since you probably won't let someone do the mission for you, you can bring someone along and act as your spouse."

Albel stared, as Peppitta giggled from the doorway. "I like the third idea bestest!" Then, as an after thought she added, "but you can't ask me to do it."

"I wasn't going to, maggot," Albel glowered. He didn't like any of the choices except for the second, but he could see her point with that one. "I could always slaughter everyone in sight before they have the chance to say it."

"Highly unlikely," Mirage said emotionlessly. "If the king has asked you, then he would probably have already asked others to do it, and obviously they've failed. Meaning that this conspiracy party is more cunning than you would think."

Albel snorted and looked away.

"...Well, I can't. I'm with Fayt," Sophia smiled feebly as she caught Albel's exasperated 'Don't-flatter-yourself-I-didn't-even-consider-you' look.

"And Mirage's with me," Cliff joined in.

"I ain't gay! I ain't going!" Roger exclaimed as he hopped down from the window sill.

"You were never an option, Roger. You helped create this mess, so therefore you will be in the workplace helping to make an antidote," Mirage said over her shoulder.

Peppitta wrinkled her nose, "I don't even like kissing."

Everyone looked at Maria. "Don't even think it," she shot back.

Which led to everyone looking at Nel Zelpher.

This has been a shitty day she thought glumly.

s/v: A little R&R please?