A/N- My first fic in a while, so I don't know if it's any good. Read and review, I need some. XP

Just because this might confuse some people, I sort of switch back and forth between the theories that the Yamis can and cannot be in a separate body as the others. Most of the time they are separate. It's easier for the Hikaris to mock them that way. XP

Just to get names straight, Ryou is Hikari Bakura, Bakura is Yami Bakura, Malik is Hikari Marik, and Marik is Yami Marik. Remember that. XP

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!. If I did, it wouldn't be called Yu-Gi-Oh, it would be called Malik-Oh! or possibly Bakura-Oh!

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It had occurred to the Hikaris after Battle City that the Yamis had somewhat of a violent nature. Yami, not so much, but Yuugi still felt that using Slyfer the Sky Dragon to obliterate Bakura was a bit much, despite his feelings toward the white-haired thief.

It was Ryou who first raised the concern, suffering yet another knife wound, then waking up in an unfamiliar bar the next morning. Yuugi researched the subject quite thoroughly, and found a candidate suitable for counseling sessions. "Seven days," she claimed, (no Ringu pun intended.) "Seven days is all it takes to turn your angry buddy into a friendly friend!"

The Hikaris were greeted with the cheery clang of a bell as they dragged the reluctant Yamis into a brightly lit room. There was a large mural of bunnies, rainbows, butterflies, and hearts seen immediately when entering, followed by a playroom containing several ripped up Barney plushies. There was a closed door at the end of that room, leading supposedly to an office. Loud voices emanated from the room.

"What the…you ripped up my Blue Eyes! You will nev-"

"Now, that's not the attitude you want to take. Friendship! Friendship will prevail! With friends, who needs a silly card?"

A few seconds passed, then the muffled sound of several curses in a row filled the air.

"Hey, Mokuba," said Yuugi, seeing the Vice President of Kaiba Corp. sitting among the trains. "What's going on?"

"Oh, I finally convinced Seto that he should take anger management classes after attempting to strangle one of his employees for spilling coffee," replied Mokuba. Several bangs were heard, followed by the breaking of glass. "Speaking of which, I should probably get out of here before he comes out. He's not too crazy about the idea, and the classes aren't going that great." Mokuba jumped to his feet and quietly snuck out of the office.

The door opened, and Tea flew out, followed by a disgruntled Kaiba who made a beeline for the exit. "MOKUBA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"

The therapist got to her feet, panting, studying the six people before her. "Hey Yuugi," she said, looking down at the spikes of multi-colored hair. "Bakura, Malik."

"I trust Yami and the others will be okay with you?" asked Yuugi, looking first at his split personality, and then at the therapist.

"Of course! We'll be good friends in no time!"

Ryou looked tentatively at Tea. "We just have to come back at three?"

"Yep!" she replied cheerfully.

The Hikaris made their way for the door, Ryou a little reluctantly, leaving behind three very bad-tempered souls. The bell clanged, and the Yamis were at last alone with the, in their point of view, very scary woman.

Tea studied, Bakura and Marik. "So, I hear you have anger management problems!"

Yami hmphed, and Marik said "That's what they say."

"Well, you know what the best cure for getting angry is? Babysitting!"

"What the Hell?" exclaimed Bakura. "I am not watching over some snot-nosed brat whose only desire is to repeat everything I say, and then lock me out of the house!"

"No worries!" replied the therapist cheerfully. "You don't have to watch over anyone! I'm the babysitter. You just have to play with the brats!"

"That's even worse!"

A half an hour later, the Yamis somehow found themselves on a playground with two extremely small children, even compared to Yuugi, and three a tad taller than Yuugi. Tea stood at the side, a clipboard in her hands, furiously making notes.

"Whitey-chan, push me!"

"Why do you have so many chains on your pants?"

"What's that weird tattoo underneath your shirt?" For one of the children had made their way on Marik's back, clinging on to the back of his shirt and almost strangling the poor spirit.

"Get the Hell off of me!" the spirit exclaimed angrily. "I am not a jungle gym!"

Meanwhile, several of the children had proceeded to play lava with all the belts and buckles on Yami's pants. The Pharaoh looked sorely tempted to sit on one of them, but resisted the urge when that same child peed on the back of his pants.

"This is fun, Onee-chan!" the children shouted to Tea, hanging from Yami's buckles. "Even better than the movies!"

Bakura, seemingly fed up with one particularly stubborn toddler, was summoning the Shadow Realm with a low, evil laugh. "You'll never escape the Shadow Realm…I will have hold of your soul forever." Tea intervened before the darkness claimed the entire child, and proceeded to make several furious checks on her clipboard.

Needless to say, everyone was glad when three-o-clock came around.

"Now, that was good progress!" Tea said optimistically, once again in the juvenile playroom. "Yami, you kept yourself from killing the poor child who peed on your pants, and you only said 'I am the Pharaoh' once!" Yami looked at her, irritated, and then continued preening himself. "Marik, you only broke three of little Bobby's ribs, as opposed to all of them! I'm very proud of you!" The spirit decided not to tell Tea about the incident with the Millennium Rod, which she had been in the restroom for the duration of. "Bakura, you still have quite a bit of anger bottled up inside of you. I think we need to work on that. After all, true joy does not come from stealing people's souls, but from smiling at the sight of friends and making others happy." Bakura scowled, contemplating the idea of stealing Tea's soul right then and there to prove her wrong.

"Well, this wraps up today's session. I think we ought to make a little friendship pact to remind us that we are always there for each other." The therapist pulled out a permanent marker. "Now everyone, stick out your hands."

The Yamis all left that day with one quarter of a smiley face on their hands, left to remind them of this living Hell. "I'll see you tomorrow!" Tea shouted from the door. "Remember, bring your duel disks!"

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Read and review. You know you want to.