A/N : Spike isn't in the habit of calling the Scoobies when he has a problem, especially since Giles, Willow, and Tara, are all in England now, and Xander and Anya have moved away from Sunnydale too. He thinks he can handle this thing with Buffy all by himself, but can he...?
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 5

"So to cut a long story short, he played into her hands, left with the other woman, and now his wife is screwing him for everything he's worth" Jonathan Jackson chuckled as he told his friend about the latest case he'd been working on at the law firm where he was employed. It was only when he glanced up from his very expensive dinner that he realised not only was Joan not eating her own meal, but that she also hadn't heard a word he'd said.

"So I was thinking" he said, staring at her as she in turn stared down at her plate, pushing various vegetable pieces around amongst the pasta, "Maybe I should just take off all my clothes and run naked around the restaurant yelling 'Yee-ha!' You wanna join me?"

"Sure" Joan said absently, before her head suddenly shot up, her eyes wide as she looked at her friend, "What!" she squeaked making Jonathan laugh loudly.

"Where the hell have you been for the past half hour?" he asked, with a shake of his head, "Cos you sure as hell haven't been here with me"

"I'm sorry" Joan said guiltily, "Really, I mean I come all this way to see you and then spend my time all otherwhere"

"Something serious is going on in that pretty little head of yours" Jonathan guessed, "Anything you wanna tell me about?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I did tell you" Joan smiled, "And honestly, I don't wanna talk about it, I'd rather talk about you"

"We were talking about me" her friend reminded her, "And I lost you to the land of who-knows-where"

"Again, with the big sorrys" Joan winced, "Really, I want to hear about stuff, everything you've been doing, tell me, I'm attentive-gal" she promised, propping her chin on her hand, her elbow on the table as she stared across at him, overly enthusiastically.

"Well, honestly" Jonathan sighed, glancing away and then back up to meet her eyes, "Most of what I've been doing is... missing you"

Joan smiled as that and reached across the table to put her hand in his.

"I miss you too" she told him, "You know that. You're one of my best friends, Johnny, it's not like I was going to forget about you as soon as you left the state"

"I know" he nodded, unable to keep his eyes on hers as he struggled to tell her what he so desperately wanted to say, "I know we're good friends and all but... Joanie, you have to know you mean more to me than just that"

"Johnny..." Joan's expression turned from friendly to awkward as she tried to retract her hand from his, but he held on tight.

"Sweetheart, I don't want to scare you, or ruin what we have as friends, but I've gotta tell you the truth" Jonathan said seriously, making himself look her in the eye, "I love you, I mean, I'm in love with you. I thought I was before and I came so close to asking you to come to LA with me when I left, but I figured I was just being crazy" he laughed slightly to himself, "But the longer I'm out here, the more I miss you, you're all I think about, dream about... Joan Winters, I can't get you out of my head"

Tears filled his friends eyes as she listened to what he had to say. This wasn't happening. Jonathan was her best friend and of course she loved him dearly, but she'd never thought of him this way. He was never supposed to feature romantically in her life, she never for one moment thought he'd want to.

"Say something, Joanie, please" he begged her when she was silent too long.

"I... I don't know what to say" she admitted as she pulled her hand from his and this time he let her fingers slide away, looking down at the table cloth and at least half-regretting his admission of love. He'd thought about telling her before he'd left Cleveland. He wanted to believe she felt the same and that she'd come with him to California where they could live happily ever after, but he's lost his confidence at the last moment and gone alone, thinking that maybe with some distance between them he'd see his situation with Joan differently. Maybe his feelings for her were not what he thought, he'd told himself, but these past few months had proved him a liar. He lived for the days when she called or emailed, he counted the days, hours, minutes to when he could catch a flight back home, his real home, where she was, just the same as he'd counted down the time when she said she was coming here to see him in Los Angeles. He was in love, head over heels, and drowning in all he felt for a woman who apparently wasn't too thrilled to be the object of his affections, if the look on her face was anything to go by.

Inside Joan's head, her world as spinning. This was just too much to take in. After all Spike had told her, about the woman she really was and the world she really came from, all she'd wanted was a few hours to digest it, some quality time spent with a man that was familiar to her. In the mess of uncertainty that was her life, Jonathan was her constant friend, someone she could depend on to always be there, and be normal in her crazy world. Now he was telling her he was in love with her, shaking the very foundations of their relationship and turning it upside down.

"Joanie, isn't there any chance you could feel the same about me?" Jonathan asked her desperately, "I just thought..."

"Johnny, please" Joan frowned, shaking her head as she got up from her seat, "I need to, to think about this. It's kind of a shock"

Jonathan opened his mouth to say something else, maybe convince her to stay somehow, but he knew all attempts would be futile. He'd scared her, he hadn't meant to but he knew he'd done it as she backed away from the table. She was half way to the door when she turned back and mouthed 'I'm sorry' before disappearing from sight.

Jonathan cursed under his breath, feeling like such an idiot. Part of him considered running after Joan but he figured she needed some time alone. He knew her well enough as a friend to know when it was best to chase her and when she was best left to her own devices. He called the waiter over and asked for the bill and a second later his cell phone rang into life on the table.

"Jackson" he said as he took the call and a stern voice on the other end of the line told him he was needed at work, some kind of emegerney meeting.

"At least it'll take my mind off her" Jonathan sighed, "For all of two seconds"

"I know what I promised Dawnie but things have changed since yesterday" Spike said into his cell-phone as he walked down the street from the garage back to the hotel, "Got a little business to attend to before I come home"

"What kind of business?" the brunette asked, suspicion in her tone.

"'S complicated, luv" Spike said, hating himself for even half-lying to her.

Of course it was true that the situation was complicated, but he still wasn't telling the absolute truth. He ought to be telling the Bit about Buffy, telling her to get herself to LA and see the sister she thought she'd lost forever, but he couldn't do that. There was a chance that Buffy, or Joan as she called herself now, was gone already from the town, even the state, and that Spike would never see her again. He was still wondering if she was real, if he wasn't about to wake up in a gutter somewhere and realise he'd dreamt the whole thing. Whatever was real, whatever wasn't, he couldn't raise Dawn's hopes, not when there was a chance of them being dashed. The poor young thing, she'd suffered enough in her life without him piling on more pain.

"If it's demony you should tell me" Dawn said firmly, "You know I can help, even call the gang if it's a big"

"I can handle it Sweet Bit" Spike promised her, "Trust old Spike, don't you?" he checked, knowing she really shouldn't right now, since he wasn't telling her the whole truth.

"Of course I do" she promised him, "Always. Just, whatever you're doing, be careful. I need you to come home, if not tonight then eventually" she told him, a slight shake in her voice that he picked up on.

"I promise you, Bit, I will be back as soon as I can be" he swore to her, "You got my bloody word on it"

Dawn seemed satisfied with that and reminding the vampire how much she loved her older-brother-guy, the pair said their goodbyes and hung up.

Spike sighed to himself as he pushed his phone into his inside picket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes, lighting up as he continued his walk back to the motel. The guy at the garage had finished his car but for a few extra dollars Spike had convinced him to keep hold of it til the next night.
If he were a normal man, Spike would never have made such a deal with a bloke like that, but a flash of his game face had been insurance enough that the guy at the garage would not be going back on the deal at all.

Of course, the thought had occurred to Spike that leaving LA meant leaving Buffy, if she was still around. He wasn't sure he could do that, and yet he couldn't leave Dawn alone too long. Caught between two women he adored in very different ways, it wasn't the first time for Spike, but that didn't make it any easier.

The bleached blond vampire blew smoke into the air, throwing the butt of his now spent cigarette to the ground and crushed it under the heel of his boot. He glanced up at the building in front of him, the motel where he was staying. Buffy might be in there, sitting in her room thinking about her life, what it had been and what it was now. She'd seemed to believe him before, and he'd been thrilled when she mentioned a girl that seemed to be Willow. If he'd triggered thoughts of Red somehow, surely it couldn't be long before more memories returned to the Slayer. Before long she could recall everything and be ready, willing, and able to return to Sunnydale with him where Dawn would welcome her sister with open arms and life would be as it should be. Spike was not so stupid that he didn't realise things would be less good between him and Buffy when she either remembered or he told her what he really was, but he could deal with that if it just meant having her around.

With a needlessly deep breath, Spike climbed the stairs and went through the front door of the motel, heading for the elevator that would take him back to his room. He'd considered patrolling the streets for a while, get some violence whilst it was dark, but after visiting the garage and getting himself a meal round the back of a butchers shop open late, he found he didn't feel much like pounding on the nasties LA had to offer. Thoughts of both Buffy and Dawn kept his mind too busy to dare to start a fight this evening, he was too preoccupied and the last thing he wanted was end up dust in the wind, leaving both his girls behind.

"Bloody hell" he swore as he stepped out of the elevator on the correct floor and looked towards the door of his temporary room. There was Buffy, sitting in front of his door her knees pulled up to her chest, her face obviously red from crying as she looked up, pushing her brunette hair out of her eyes.

"You weren't here" she said softly as Spike approached and knelt in front of her, "I needed to talk, like we said I... I saw something else"

"Oh, pet" Spike sighed, getting hold of her hands and helping her to her feet, "Come on then, luv, tell Spike all about it" he said gently as he got the door open and they went inside. Whoever or whatever had upset her, the bleached blond vamp was already planning ways to make them suffer for hurting his girl.

To Be Continued...