A/N : For those who didn't understand, Buffy was more freaked out by Spike lying to her than by him being a vamp. For the first time she could remember she felt happy and safe and then she finds out he hadn't told her the whole truth. Anywho, I will fix it as I always do and the Spuffy will return in due course...
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 8

Buffy thought briefly that she'd never been so confused as she was now, but she knew that wasn't true. The day she'd first arrived in Cleveland, not knowing where she was, who she was, or anything, that was worse than this. At least in this situation she was now in full possession of those facts and many more, some of which she was glad to know and others not so much.

The last few hours had seemed so perfect as she made love with Spike and fell asleep in his arms. He was so kind to her, so gentle and tender and loving, and for the first time in years she felt safe and content in a way she never thought possible. Now she knew the truth about him, that he was not what he seemed at all. He'd told her all about her life, her friends and family, her home, her Slayer calling and destiny, everything except the fact that he himself was a vampire, one of the creatures she was born to defend the world from.

Other people might think this was all crazy. That meeting a guy in LA, accepting his story filled with monsters and magicks as your past life, and falling into his arms and his bed was insane, but to Buffy it made more sense than anything else had in such a long time.

She knew what Spike told her was true. Her mind conjured up scraps of dreams, images of people and creatures and places. Many of them fitted the descriptions Spike had given in his in-depth tale of the life Buffy had supposedly had before Cleveland. Still, much of what he'd said meant little to her. Though she supposed she was this Slayer he spoke of, she didn't fully understand what that meant. All the things she must've known before how to handle weapons, how to kill various demons, how to be the Chosen One, those memories were gone. Though Buffy believed that much of what Spike said was true she wondered what he may have left out or changed. After all, he had skipped over the truth about himself being a vampire, and that was kind of a major point.

The only real problem was, Buffy was fairly certain that even if she'd known from the beginning, she still would've trusted him. Sitting here now, contemplating her situation, she was wondering if she should go back to his room, apologise for running away like a child and let Spike explain why he'd lied to her, how he could love her if he was this evil creature that he'd told her vampires were supposed to be. The sensible half of her brain told her no, she shouldn't do that. He could be dangerous, despite the fact every instinct in her told him he wasn't, she couldn't take any chances right now.

Taking out a pen and paper, Buffy had an idea. She made a list of every name, every place, every key word she could recall from what Spike had told her along with anything that stood out from her dreams. The list made, she pulled out her cell phone and dialled a number she knew by heart.

"Whitely's Books" said the voice on the other end of the line as soon as the call connected.

"Hey, it's me, Bu... Joan" she said, frowning as she amended what she was going to say. She wasn't sure when it had become second nature to call herself Buffy, but it was what Spike had been calling her these past two days and somehow it felt more like it fit that Joan did now.

"Hello, Joan" her boss and confidante smiled as he spoke to her, "You having a good time in LA, honey?"

"It's... interesting" she admitted, "I actually called because, well, I kind of need a little help"

"Anything you need, Joan, you know I'm here for you" the older man told her, as if she didn't already know. He'd been the closest thing she had to a father figure these past years and she loved him for all he'd done for her, just as she loved Jonathan and Christine and the other friends she'd made in her new life. It was strange to think she had a whole other circle of friends she didn't recall, and just a few miles away too.

"Do you know of any specialist book shops in LA?" she asked knowing that Mr Whitely had listings of most of the best book shops in all the states and what they specialised in.

"Specialist in what way?" he checked as she heard him go for the home-made directory under the counter with all the shop names written in it in perfect hand writing.

"Well, like mythology maybe?" she said awkwardly, "The supernatural, magicks... and vampires" she told him, wondering if he'd ask her why she wanted to know and not really knowing what she would give as an answer if he did.

"Oh, lots of specialists on that kind of thing in Los Angeles" Mr Whitely said, half to her and half to himself as she listened to him flicking pages over and over, "Here we are..." he said at last, "I suppose the best ones would be The Magic Bullet, for your occult stuff. Specifically vampires and demons I'd go with Darkest Before Dawn, not the best name but their quality is excellent"

"You have addresses?" Buffy checked and proceeded to scribble them down as Mr Whitely read them out to her. She thanked him afterwards and was relieved when he never asked why she wanted the information just told her he hoped she found what she was looking for and left it at that as they said there goodbyes and ended the call.

It took just a moments contemplation before Buffy was on her feet, swinging her bag over her shoulder and heading out of the motel towards the second bookshop her friend had told her about. She needed to know more about these vampires and demons she had supposedly once fought, and about Slayers, should there be books about such people. Until she fully understood what both she and Spike were, as well as what they were each capable of, there was no way to know where she went from here.

Spike paced up and down the room once again, wishing that he had the Gem of Amara right now, or that the sun would just spontaneously go down in the middle of the day. It was torture being trapped in this motel room, unable to even get down the hall to Buffy until the sun moved around the building and was no longer shining across the corridor that led from his room to hers.

Of course there was nothing to say she was still in that room, or even still in LA by now. She could be miles away, running from the monster she now knew he was, determined never to come back again for fear of what he might do to her. Spike hated to think that way, but his mind would not stop torturing him with such thoughts. The comfort came in memories of a few hours ago. Holding the woman of his dreams in his arms, making love to her like he'd dreamed of doing so many times before. It had been perfect, better than perfect if it were possible, and despite the fact it pained him terribly to know she might be gone from his life now all over again, he wouldn't trade these past two days for the world.

Though he was by nature an unholy creature, Spike prayed to any Power That Be that might listen, that Buffy wouldn't run too far, that she might find her way back to him again. She'd done it once, why not a second time? Still, deep down he doubted it were possible. He had to go back to Sunnydale tonight, he'd been away longer than he ought to be anyway, and Dawn would be panicking by now he was sure. The real problem was, what he was going to tell her about why he'd been gone so long. To tell her the truth would be the decent thing, but she'd be in so much more pain, knowing Buffy was alive in the world and not there at her side, it would be ten times more painful than knowing she was just gone. He'd realised that for himself already, he couldn't put the Bit through such agonies, especially not so close to her wedding.

Spike's senses told him it would be a few more hours yet before the sun got low enough for him to leave the motel, go pick up his car, and begin the long drive back to good old SunnyD. With a deep sigh he flopped back on the bed and covered his face with his hands, hiding the tears he shed for the woman of his dreams that he'd lost yet again, despite the fact no-one was there to see.

It was amazing, Buffy thought as she sat in the back of the book shop named 'Darkest Before Dawn' a stack of tomes at her side and a pen and paper in her hand as she scribbled notes about the person she used to be. She'd found so much and so fast it astounded her. Tales of the Slayer called Buffy Summers, of the Vampire Angelus who had been cursed with a soul to become Angel, and terrible accounts of the damage he had once done with his gang, a member of which had been William the Bloody aka Spike.

The newest volume she'd found with references to the Slayer was just five years old and spoke of a terrible battle between the Slayer's allies and a hell-God named Glorifius. The Watchers Diary was written by one Rupert Giles and the young woman who ran the shop had explained it was something she had lately acquired from England. The writer of the book surmised that the ritual this 'Glory' as he referred to her was to perform had to be in Sunnydale because of the presence of the Hellmouth. Further research of that term led Buffy to discovering that the very same type of opening to hell existed in other places, specifically in Cleveland.

It all made some kind of sense at last and Buffy smiled as she realised it. She'd jumped into the portal Glory had opened, her life had ended in that place but had begun again as the same kind of energy pulled her to the next Hellmouth where she had landed with a bump, and no memory of what had gone before.

The revelation thrilled her more than it scared her and all she could think of was how much she wanted to share this with her friends. She was in LA to see Jonathan, it made sense to start with him. Of course, last night had been awkward with his confessions of love for her, and maybe she had over-reacted a little to that. It was still a shock but she hoped they could put that to one side, just briefly, whilst she told him the exciting news that she knew where she came from now. She was sure he would be as thrilled as she was.

Spike was glad to be out of the motel and yet less eager to be leaving town. He'd called at Buffy's room on the way down to the lobby. She hadn't answered his constant knocking and calling of her name, and her scent was not as strong as it ought to be. He suspected she had gone out, that his theories of her running as far away as possible were true and he hated to think it. Still, he had a home to go to, another girl waiting there that would still need him, however grown up she got, and despite the fact she was getting married.

On the off chance though, he had penned a note, just a short paragraph telling Buffy he was sorry and that if she needed him he would always be there. He added the address of her old house in Revello Drive, where Dawn still lived and he spent much of his time. He handed it in at the reception desk and the girl there promised to pass it on when 'Ms Winters' returned. Spike smiled and thanked her though in all honesty he doubted very much she'd be back to get it, or read it if she was.

Buffy practically ran all the way from the book store to the place Jonathan now worked. Wolfram & Hart, Attorneys at Law, said the big bold sign out front as she approached the daunting building. She slowed down, trying to regain her breath and composure as she passed by a few smartly dressed persons and went in through the glass doors.

Jonathan was across the lobby by the elevator, talking with two other men. Desperate to get his attention but not wanting to interrupt his important lawyer-type dealings, Buffy settled for waving in his general direction when she thought he might be looking her way. Though she was sure he looked straight at her twice, he made to effort to respond or excuse himself from his discussion.

It was then that it happened.

The two men that Jonathan had been talking to turned almost as one, eyes fixing on Buffy as they honed their senses. Her scent was strong and the feeling that tingled down their spines told them exactly who she was.

"Slayer!" one of them roared, eyes flashing gold as he ran at her full speed.

Buffy was stunned by the sight of the man who's face shifted as he came at her, revealing fangs at his lips and ridges on his forehead. His friend was soon at his side, face also showing demonic traits as they both attacked.

One strike sent Buffy reeling, but she didn't fall, just dropped her bag, spilling the contents across the tiled floor with a clatter. The second vampire came at her, arm raised to strike, fangs bared ready to sink into her vulnerable flesh, but it never got the chance.

It must have been adrenaline and maybe instinct, she assumed afterwards, it was the only way Buffy could account for what she did next. With perfect grace and poise, she spun and kicked out at her attackers. The first was sent sprawling into the second, bringing them both to the floor. By the time they were back on their feet, Buffy was in battle stance, ready for their next attempt to bring her down.

The whole event was a blur of punches and kicks as she blocked their attacks and kept both vampires at bay. Eventually, she saw an oppurtunity as they both lay sprawled on the floor, her arm twisted behind her back to grab two freshly sharpened pencils from the startled receptionists desk. She leaned over the vampires, and with perfect accuracy Buffy punctured both their hearts with the wooden writing implements, sending both creatures to dust in seconds.

Breathing somewhat heavily she stood tall once again, glancing over at Jonathan and meeting his eyes. He didn't look quite as shocked as she'd expected him to, she thought, right before she passed out onto the dusty floor.

To Be Continued...