Planning
"All right, ladies. I have called you to this meeting because we have an emergency on our hands," McGonagall explained. She looked in the eyes of Professors Hooch, Sprout, and Trelawney.
"I know this is a task a little out of the ordinary for us, but as I see…"
"Skip to the point, Minerva," Professor Hooch interrupted impatiently.
"It's Hermione. Hermione Granger."
"Hermione?" Professor Sprout repeated in alarm. "Since when has Miss Granger been an issue?"
"Well, I didn't mean it like that!" McGonagall retorted agitatedly. "It has nothing to do with school work or anything as mundane as that."
"Then why are we interfering?" Professor Hooch interjected.
"Because." McGonagall began, lowering her voice. "This is true love."
"What! You called us in from our valuable lesson time to discuss the latest gossip! This is an outrage, especially from you, Minerva! If you want to meddle with love affairs, please do it on your own time." Professor Hooch stated indignantly.
"I always knew she was too much of a soap opera type!" Professor Sprout accused.
McGonagall's nostrils flared warningly.
The room suddenly grew very silent.
"We are interfering because Miss Granger is missing out on something that could be very special. She's afraid of love because of her childhood. But it sort of snuck up on her."
"Who is the dashing young man?"
"Ronald. Ronald Weasley."
"RON!"
"Yes, Ron."
"These teenagers have very twisted love lives."
"That may be so, but Miss Granger is finally recognizing her true feelings and now she's turned her back on it."
"Oh good! She finally has taken heed to one of my prophecies."
"Please restrain yourself, Sybill. We are in the realm of facts."
"All right, so what are we going to do? Why not just use the Imperious curse if you're so desperate!"
"Madam Hooch, you know that would be most inappropriate under any circumstances!"
"Well, I'll admit I've been pretty tempted to use it on some of those morons we call 'Slytherin quidditch players'."
"We're not going to force Hermione to do anything! We're just going to help her see what she's missing and put her past behind her."
"When you said 'help'…"
"All right, we may have to use some force and stealth, but…"
"So what exactly are we doing?"
"Okay, we first have to somehow drug her or something simple, and then we have a woman-to-woman talk with her. Simple."
"We'll have to get Poppy in on this one. She has sleeping draught and everything." Madam Hooch suggested.
"But what if she resists or something else unexpected?" Professor Sprout asked.
"We're not going to hurt her or anything, but I doubt she stands much of a chance against any one of us." Professor McGonagall replied. "If she gets too close to escaping, we stun her and reform plans. Just try really hard not to hurt her."
"So we're allowed to use mild force against her if she becomes difficult?"
"Yes, mild force."
"Let's do this, ladies."