SANCTUARY

Chapter Five

As dawn broke, the Lars household began to rise at the signal that a new day had begun. Cliegg was the first one up, always wanting to get as much work done in the day as possible. Anakin and Owen, however, were another story. He often had to try to wake them up numerous times in the morning with usually negative results. Anakin liked to put his pillow over his head while Owen preferred to simply ignore his father. But things around the Lars household had begun to change.

The first morning that Padme had spent with them was when it had started. She calmly emerged from Anakin's room and promptly woke Anakin, who had slept on the couch. He had put up a fight at first but when he realized who was trying to wake him up, he quickly relented and started preparing for the day. Still unsatisfied, Padme knocked lightly on Owen's door and when all she received was a muffled 'leave me alone, Dad', she replied that it wasn't Cliegg but Padme and he needed to get up. Within a matter of seconds, Owen was dressed and out of his room. Cliegg still wasn't sure what the exact reason for this change was. He guessed that Anakin was merely trying to impress her and that Owen just didn't want to upset her but he still wasn't completely sure. The change in his boys was remarkable and in that respect, he didn't care what the reason for it was as long as it became a permanent stable in their characters.

Cliegg chuckled to himself when he heard Padme open the door. He watched with a smile as she went from one son to the other and shook his head as each one quickly awoke at Padme's prompting.

"Marvelous work, Padme." He said with laughter in his eyes as Padme sat next to him at the table.

"Why, thank you, Cliegg." She smiled back as he poured her some coffee.

Within minutes, Anakin and Owen were seated at the table, eagerly awaited the breakfast that Cliegg had prepared. They hungrily shoveled it into their mouths, barely tasting it as Cliegg and Padme watched who had suddenly lost their appetite.

Cliegg watched the interactions around the table curiously as Padme and Owen refused to make eye contact with each other and realized that Anakin was angrily watching this non-exchange as well. Deciding it was better to not bring it up, Cliegg rose to clean everything up.

"Well, what's on the agenda today?"

Anakin looked up and replied: "I need to go into Mos Espa today to get that part I ordered."

The flicker of relief and happiness in Padme's eyes did not go unnoticed around the table before it disappeared. Cliegg's attention switched from Padme to Owen. "And you, Owen?"

"Oh…I was planning to work on some droids today. Beru will be by later to sort out the books."

Cliegg nodded with satisfaction before heading out to the fields, leaving Anakin, Owen, and Padme in a very awkward silence. Owen looked cautiously from Anakin to Padme and after meeting Anakin's stern gaze, quickly excused himself from the table.

Anakin watched Owen's escape and shook his head in both disappointment and anger. It was just like Owen to do that. He seemed to get out of anything, run away from everything, and he was never really punished for it, especially when it dealing with their repair shop. It seemed like all responsibility always fell to Anakin with any important decision or problem. What Anakin really couldn't comprehend was Owen's attitude toward Beru. Beru was a great girl; she loved Owen, was willing to put up with him, accept all his flaws, and more importantly, wanted to marry him. Owen couldn't ask for a better girl. What was keeping him from proposing to her? Why couldn't he accept some responsibility for a change?

Anakin's attention shifted to Padme as she rose from the table to take their dishes to the sink.

"I'm sorry about him, Padme." He offered gently.

She turned back him, leaned against the counter, and shrugged. "It's alright."

He shook his head fervently. "No, it's not. He told me what you said to him and…"

"I know, Anakin."

He frowned and bit his lip. "How did you…"

"You and Owen were talking pretty loudly last night…" She laughed.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry you heard that, Padme."

"You don't have to be sorry. No one's ever stood up for me like that. Thank you."

She was smiling and leaning a little forward now, looking up at him. His heart fluttered briefly and he could feel heat creeping into his cheeks. He quickly looked away and cleared his throat, but still couldn't think of how to respond to that.

After a few moments of slightly awkward silence, Padme bit her lip and took a few steps closer to him. "So…when are you leaving for Mos Espa?"

His eyes immediately flew to hers, grateful for the change of subject. "Within an hour or so."

She nodded carefully, her eyes never leaving his. "Would you mind if I came along?"

Anakin ran a hand through his hair and sighed. When his gaze returned to her, he was met with hopefully expectant brown eyes. "Padme…Mos Espa isn't a nice place to be. I don't even go there unless I absolutely have to."

She frowned and rested her hands defiantly on her hips. "What are you saying?"

He exhaled loudly and looked away for a brief moment. "It's not safe for you there, Padme. The people in Mos Espa are not the kind of people you're used to. It's just a haven for smugglers, gamblers, drunks, and slave-owners. That doesn't sound very appealing, does it?"

Her eyebrows lifted slightly and her arms crossed over her chest. "The first day I was here, I wandered around Mos Espa for hours trying to find you and nothing happened."

"You're lucky nothing did because it easily could have. Look, I'm not saying that you can't handle it because you and I both know you can. I just don't want to take the chance."

Her eyes softened and she relaxed a little. "I know, Anakin. But I guess I just need to get out for a while. Don't take this the wrong way but it feels like I've been inside for the entire week and it would just be nice go somewhere, even if it really is like you said."

"Padme, I just don't…"

"Please, Anakin. I'll be good, I promise."

He chuckled at that and rolled his eyes. Looking at her again, with her soulful, pleading eyes, he knew he wouldn't be able to refuse her. He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Alright, alright. You can tag along I suppose."

She laughed and a wide grin spread across her face. She closed the space between them and embraced him quickly, which caught Anakin extremely off-guard. Once the shock of his current position wore off, his arms tentatively closed around her tiny back. He breathed in slowly and almost cried out when she pulled away.

She smiled up at him softly. "Let me know when you're ready to leave."

He nodded quickly and immediately left to get the speeder ready; knowing that if he stayed any longer he might do or say something he would be kicking himself for later.

Padme watched him leave with a soft smile on her face. As his tall frame went off into the distance, it finally hit her that he wasn't a little boy anymore. He was a man. And he was a man that would protect her. She sighed and shook her head. She wished that she could stay on Tatooine forever but she knew that eventually she would have to leave them. She wasn't used to being around a family so much, especially a family of men. She had rarely seen her own and now that she had lied to them, they would never accept her back into their lives again.

She sat down on a nearby chair and buried her head in her hands. She had let everyone down. They had all been counting on her to do the right thing, to sacrifice what little personal life she had for the good of her people. Maybe she would have been able to do it if the man they had promised her to hadn't been such a vomit-inducing old man. She sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly. She knew that deep down, even if the man had been the kindest, most handsome man in the galaxy, she probably still would have done the same thing. She had run from everything like a coward, leaving her people still unprotected, and letting her family believe she had been murdered.

Tears began to fall mercilessly down her cheeks as everything she had done finally sunk in. She furiously wiped them away, berating herself for crying. She never cried. She was stronger than this.

She heard the door open and quickly wiped the remaining tears away, not wanting Anakin or Cliegg to see her like that. Her eyes widened in shock when she realized that it was Owen who had entered the room and was now staring at her with equally wide eyes.

"Oh…I'm sorry, Padme…" He trailed off and bit his lip before starting to head to his room.

"Owen…"

He stopped in his tracks and awkwardly turned back to Padme's tear-stained face.

"Owen…what do you think of me?"

He opened his mouth to answer but quickly shut it. He didn't know how to answer her without making her even more upset. He definitely wasn't good with these things.

"I…uh…I don't know what you mean."

"Do you think I'm a failure?"

He frowned at this and bit his lip again as he tentatively took a few steps back into the kitchen. He waited for her to say something…anything…but when she didn't, he carefully sat down next to her, not knowing what else to do. He helplessly looked out the window for Anakin, but he was nowhere in sight.

"Owen, I know you don't trust me. I heard you and Anakin talking last night. He told you why I was here but what he didn't tell you was that my people needed me to get married. They needed that alliance for protection and I…I was too selfish to put their needs ahead of my own. All I saw was that horrible man I was supposed to marry and all I thought of was that I'd probably have to kill myself after we were married. I didn't think of what would happen to Naboo if I didn't marry him."

She inhaled shakily and closed her eyes before continuing. "I've let everyone down. My people, the Senate, the Queen…my parents. Everyone…they all think I'm dead. What if there's an attack on Naboo now? They won't have anyone to defend them. Millions of people will be killed…and it will all be my fault!"

Tears began to fall again and her shoulders began shaking uncontrollably. Owen watched her carefully, still unsure of what he was supposed to do and tentatively rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him in surprise and wiped her eyes.

"Padme…you can't think like this. You're going to make yourself crazy. Look, you've given up your whole life for those people, for the Senate, for the Queen, even I know that. And at the end of the day, you did what was best for yourself."

She sighed and looked up at him carefully. "But do you think I'm a failure?"

"No."

She bit her lip as new tears formed in her eyes and she laughed a little. "You don't?"

He smiled and couldn't help but laugh a little bit himself. "No, Padme, I don't. You shouldn't blame yourself for putting yourself first for once. Besides, no one should have to do something they don't want to do."

She smiled brightly and laughed. "Is that why you haven't proposed to Beru yet?"

He frowned at this change of subject but when he actually thought about it, he found himself nodding his head. "You know, it's not that I don't want to marry her. I suppose I'm just not ready yet."

She smiled with new understanding and nodded. "I don't know if Anakin told you but I was planning on sending for my wedding dress to give to Beru in a few days. But now, I think I'll wait."

He smiled back at her and laughed. "That's a good idea. Then there won't be any added pressure on me."

They laughed good-naturedly together, glad to be able to put the past behind them.

"You know," Owen said. "I really misjudged you."

"That's alright. I know you were just protecting Anakin. I understand that."

There were a few passing moments of silence behind them then before Padme spoke again.

"Thank you for listening to me and making me feel better. I'm not normally a mess like this, I swear. Everything just finally caught up with me and I just felt like…well, I guess you already know that, don't you?"

He smiled back at her and laughed again. "Well, I know a whole lot now than I did before, don't I?"

She nodded but before she could speak again, saw a figure walking back towards the house. "Anakin's coming back."

Owen stood up and seeing she was right, knew that it was time to take his leave. She smiled up at him in a silent thank-you.

She rose from the table and moved towards the door to meet Anakin when Owen's voice stopped her.

"Padme…I know you said that you let everyone down…and I just thought you should know that you've never let Anakin down and to be honest, I don't think you ever will."

She smiled softly, recognizing the truth in his words and watched as Owen turned back and closed his door softly. Her eyes moved back to Anakin, who now had the speeder parked right in front of the house. Her eyes sparkled as she watched him check everything over, probably to make sure she would be safe in it. When he was satisfied, he looked up and met her gaze. He grinned brightly when he saw that she had been watching him and waved to her. She smiled back and without further hesitation, opened the door to meet him.