Movie Parodies: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Disclaimer: Jack; You still think Mr. M'n'M owns it? I don't know why I try to reason with you lot! Walks out of shot annoyed.
Dueling:
Jack enters the blacksmith shop after out running many bullets that probably would have hit him if he wasn't one of the main characters. After freeing himself of the chains/irons, Will enters the shop. He notices the equipment is not where he left it.
Jack: Hello there. Do I know you?
Will: No, I don't seem to recall your acquaintance, but I have heard of your appearance. Hmmmm. Will begins to search his memory of where he knows Jack's appearance, not noticing Jack heading for the door.
Wait, you're the pirate they're looking for! I wonder if I turn you in, it will gain the affection of Miss Swann.
Jack: I don't think it will, but you can always try.
He continues walking to the door. Will comes out of his stupor and throws his sword at the door, effectively barring the way out.
Jack: What did you do that for? I was about to leave before we had to do the fight scene. I'm not really in the mood.
Will: Too bad. We need to create some extra action.
Jack: Like there isn't enough already!
Jack and Will begin to sword fight around the shop and then on the rafters. They are evenly matched.
Jack: This is going no where. We are evenly matched.
Will: I suppose you are right.
He throws his sword on the ground. Jack takes the opportunity and throws dust in Will's eyes.
Will: That's not fair! The fight was over! That's cheating!
Jack: No it wasn't, I didn't yield. It may have been cheating, but I am a pirate.
Will: I guess so.
Jack gets hit on the head by a bottle of alcohol and is knocked unconscious. Norrington enters.
Norrington: Mwahahahaha! cough, cough. Good work Mr. Brown. Take him away! I'll just continue with my evil laugh in my own time shall I?
Jack is in the jail along with some other prisoners.
Scene changes to Elizabeth in the governor's house.
Maid: It was a very interesting day for you Miss.
Elizabeth: Yes, Norrington proposed, I fainted and I met a real life pirate.
Maid: A pirate? Sounds terrifying!
Elizabeth: No! It was one of the best days of my life. Never before so much action has occurred in my life!
Maid: Really? Leaves room a little worried.
On top of the fort.
Governor Swann: Has Elizabeth given you an answer yet?
Norrington: No! mumbles under his breath. A loud noise is heard in the background. Cannon fire! Return fire! Tackles Swann to the ground.
Jail:
Jack: Hey! That's the Black Pearl!
Prisoner: The Pearl? Really? I didn't think it existed.
Jack: You and everyone else.
The Pearl's guns are destroying the battlements.
Norrington: Governor, get into my office and cower in the corner like the coward you are! Cry if you feel it necessary! That's an order!
Governor's house:
Elizabeth: More pirates! I should be scared, but this is much too interesting!
Ragetti: Look! It's her. She's got the gold!
Pirates run up to Elizabeth, who has remained on the stairs.
Pintel: stops running like everyone else. Aren't you going to run away?
Elizabeth: No.
Pintel: But we're pirates come to kidnap you!
Elizabeth: So Jack Sparrow was right! smile fades from her face. Okay, um parley?
Ragetti: Damn! I hate parley!
Pintel: To the Captain you go!
Elizabeth: You're taking my request seriously! I get to see a real pirate ship! Smile returns to her face and she is led to the ship squealing.
They go through the streets and Elizabeth sees Will.
Elizabeth: Waving Hey Will! I get to see a real pirate ship! Want to come?
Will: Elizabeth! Don't leave me! Is hit over the head by a passing pirate and is also knocked unconscious.
Fans: Why are these people constantly knocked unconscious by a mere bottle? It's ridiculous.
Disney writers: Because it happened to me and it's my movie and um…I wanted them to! Exits laughing manically.
In the jail a hole has been blown in the cell wall.
Jack: Damn! Why is my luck so rotten?
Prisoners: No idea, but I hope you escape too!
Jack attempts to get the dog to give him the keys to the cell, but fails miserably. A crash is heard and the prison guard falls down the stairs dead.
Twigg: We aren't 'supposed to be here, are we?
Koehler: Yeah we are, it's part of the movie you dolt! Look, if it isn't Jack Sparrow.
Twigg: Really? I thought it was a look-a-like!
Koehler: Shut up! Last time I saw you Jack was on some island in the middle of the ocean!
Jack: Yeah, I realized that!
Koehler grabs Jack's neck and Jack sees what normal daylight does not show.
Jack: Well, looks like there is a curse! Now I don't feel so bad about being betrayed by you lot!
Twigg and Koehler leave.
Elizabeth is rowed to the Black Pearl. The pirates look confused as they had no idea that captives were being taken.
Pintel: Don't ask!
Elizabeth: Take me to your leader! Wait that's not right! Umm…
Barbossa: Hello there Miss! turns to Pintel Why is she here?
Pintel: She's got the gold! I thought that was obvious as it's hanging from her neck and all.
Barbossa: So she does. What is it you want Miss? You're under the protection of parley after all!
Elizabeth: Well some more pirate action would be good, but…I guess…oh what the hell- leave Port Royal and never return?
Barbossa: I should now use a bunch of fancy words, but I'm not bothered so I'll just say no!
Elizabeth: Oh okay! Well what about my first request with the pirate action?
Barbossa: That I can give you! I'm not bothered to explain why I can't give you the rest of your request, but it's got to do with the fact you're not a pirate!
Elizabeth: mumbling not yet anyway.
She then walks to the side of the ship for no reason at all and holds the medallion over the side.
Elizabeth: Because-well I have no idea why- I'm going to drop this piece of gold!
Barbossa: Go ahead, it means almost nothing to us-well not really!
Elizabeth: Okay. Let's go of chain and the medallion almost falls in the water.
Barbossa: Noooooo! Whole pirate crew goes in slow motion and dives for the medallion with that funny slow motion music playing in the background.
Elizabeth: Aha! SO it is important!
Pintel: Well the Captain did say so, 'dinni he?
Barbossa: Just give me the gold and…well…I'll make sure you get all the pirate action you want!
Elizabeth thinks for a while before handing over the medallion.
Barbossa: What's ye name, Miss?
Elizabeth: Umm…well they kidnapped me so I'll give them the first name that pops into my head. Elizabeth…Turner! to herself Well I'm going to marry Will hopefully so…
Twigg: Turner?
Pintel: Bootstrap!
Barbossa: Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Miss Turner.
A/N: So how was that? Thank you to all my reviewers- you rock! I'm hoping to get 10 reviews before the next chapter goes up!