Songfic by The Shins. Raven contemplates her love for Beast Boy on the roof.
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.
I sit on the roof, head in hands. Not sad—thinking. In a way, meditating. Is my life completely pointless? It could be. Places are only possiblities, but dreams—you're able to pursue. Robin and Starfire had their dream of being with one another, and they're still in love. They're going to kiss soon. Beast Boy, Cyborg and I can't stand this…this…this torture. It's so obvious that they're in love.
As someone sets light to the first fire of autumn
We settle down to cut ourselves apart.
Cough and twitch from the news on your face
And some foreign candle burning in your eyesWhat about me, the quiet, grim one, the gothic one? They don't quite understand my intermost feelings. I want their respect and friendship, but I can only love if I have love in return, or I'll destroy the earth. Again. It's a Teen Titan, a titan who truly respects my ways. And I cry as I think of him. He'll never know.
Held to the past too aware of the pending
Chill as the dawn breaks and finds us up for sale.
Enter the fog another low road descending
Away from the cold lust, you house and summertime.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, and tears form in my eyes. I'm trying to forget about the others. Because I know I love one of them, and which one of them. The one who's the complete opposite of me. Beast Boy. Short green comedian. Nothing like me—and yet, he understands me better than any other, even Robin, who's practically my sibling. And Beast Boy doesn't know how I feel about him, which is why I'm up here alone in the first place. Up here. Alone. Until I hear his footsteps.
Blind to the last cursed affair pistols and countless eyes
A trail of white blood betrays the reckless route your craft is running
Feed till the sun turns into wood dousing an ancient torch
Loiter the whole day through and lose yourself in lines dissecting love.
"Raven? Why—"
"Don't ask. You'd never understand."
His eyes gaze into mine, emerald green, soft and kind. "I may not understand, but you can still tell me."
And that precise moment is when I lose my heart to him, but I cannot speak. The worst thing that can happen is that he will refuse me, but I can't risk that. Yet I must confess. I open my mouth—but he speaks instead.
"Raven, listen. I should have told you before, but—but…"
He can't seem to find the right word(s?). And then, suddenly, he blabs it all out, three little words. "I love you."
I stare at him. He goes on,
"Refuse me. Turn me away, like I've always known you will. I just needed you to know." He hangs his head in shame.
Your name on my cast and my notes on your stay
Offer me little but doting on a crime.
We've turned every stone and for all our inventions
In matters of love loss, we've no recourse at all.
I realize then that my feelings are just a reflection of his. Having some matter of telapathy, and not wanting to speak, I look deep into his eyes. His huge emerald eyes, usually filled with comedy and laughter, now embarrassed and sad. And then he realizes. His eyes widen in amazement, and I lean over and hug him.
Blind to the last cursed affair pistols and countless eyes
A trail of white blood betrays the reckless route your craft is running
Feed till the sun turns into wood dousing an ancient torch
Loiter the whole day through and lose yourself in lines dissecting love.
"Beast Boy, you don't understand. I've felt like this for a long time. And when Terra returned, I knew it couldn't last. But then she—"
He looks somewhat upset. He'll never forget her, but he can still recover if I help him stay strong.
"Raven, I miss her."
"I know," I say. We share a glance, and then are unable to turn away.
Blind to the last cursed affair pistols and countless eyes…I can see that he's leaning toward me. I do the same.
A trail of white blood betrays the reckless route your craft is running…Then my hand hugs the back of his neck and brings him closer, and before I know what's happening, his lips touch mine.
Feed till the sun turns into wood dousing an ancient torch…
I cling to him tighter, and the light mouth-brushing turns into a lovely, passionate kiss. We don't let go of one another, and I don't care if Cyborg, Robin or Starfire's watching.
Loiter the whole day through and lose yourself in lines dissecting love.
I stand up, and brush myself off. We smile at one another. Maybe my life is looking up.
Loiter the whole day through and lose yourself in lines dissecting love.
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