Bonjour my friends! I know this is long overdue- as in nearly 7 months overdue- and I do apologize profusely. I'm going to stop making excuses- and promises that I seem incapable of keeping. I am soo terribly sorry. But the past 7 months of my life have been incredibly busy and stressful, and I must admit- I have had a horrid case of writer's block... Therefore, from now on, I am simply going to post whenever I can. I am not going to promise updates on certain days and then not be able to keep those promises and then feel horribly guilty because I have let everyone down and such. I'm not going to do that to all of ya'll who are just so incredible. I may post once a month, once every two months, twice a month, once a week- whatever happens to work at the particular time. Things may be especially hairy when my junior year begins in around a month, because my course load is going to absolutely kill me.:-(. However, I will try to post as often as time- and inspiration- allows. Thank you for being very understanding and please continue reading my fics!
For those of you new to this story and such, this is going be a collection of one-shots focusing on Ron and Hermione. The one-shots will be fluffy, hopefully amusing and witty, and uber-romantic, with first kisses, blushing faces, timid hand grazes, and all other such ingredients that make up enjoyable, fluffy reads! They will all be appropriate. As many of you know well, I despise smut in all it's form and am a strong advocate of absistence. There may be a few innuendos, Ron and Hermione may share a passionate snog or four, but there will be NOTHING raunchy. That said...
Read, review, and above all else, enjoy this next installment! I had such fun writing this chapter... :-) If I do say so myself, I think it's half-decent :-)
BY THE WAY- THIS IS A REVISED VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER, WITH AN IMPORTANT SCENE RE-WRITTEN AT THE END. I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING, SO JUST READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END TO UNDERSTAND...
The slender, petite witch reached out with a shaking hand and tentatively plucked the small, worn volume from the shelf, scarcely believing her own two cinnamon brown eyes. What in Merlin was a book like that doing in the library at Hogwarts? Then again, she'd heard from a giggling Lavender that there were quite a few rather informative books in the Restrictive section. Hermione contemplated, for a moment, simply slipping the book into her satchel, but, alas- that was dishonest. It was with rosy cheeks that she showed Madame Pince her selection of the day- the book.
"Only checking out one book today, dear?" The stern librarian spared a smile for her favorite student. Her bushy eyebrows rose as she noticed the title.
"The Fine Art of Snogging. A bit inconsistent with your normal taste in literature, I must say."
The brunette only flushed a deeper red and snatched the volume in question out of the older witch's hand, glaring all the while.
Madame Pince gave her a knowing look.
"Do remember to return that book by May 22nd, Miss Granger," she said cheerfully. And then, with her voice lowered conspiratorially, she added quite innocently, "You may never have to read it at all. I'm sure Ronald Weasley could teach you all you want- over will ever need- to learn."
"Oh, the nerve of that woman," Hermione snapped as she rushed through the nearly empty corridors, voluminous hair flying every which way. "How dare she insinuate that I have nothing but purely academic intentions for reading the book!"
"What's got your knickers in a twist now?" A familiar low voice asked cheekily.
"Nothing, Ron. My knickers are on perfectly straight and thus untwisted, thank you very much." Dear Godric. Where did that come from?
The tall redhead easily fell in step with her.
"Ah, c'mon, Hermione. Something's wrong. It's not every day that you use such vulgar language."
Hermione was sorely, sorely, sorely tempted to simply sno- er- slap that lopsided, cheeky grin right off of her best mate's freckled face but restrained herself. Scarcely, if she wanted to be truthful.
"I repeat, NOTHING is wrong," she snapped, increasing her pace and clutching her satchel even tighter.
Ron stopped her in her tracks by gently placing one strong, large hand on her slender shoulder.
"You know you can tell me anything. Absolutely anything," he reminded her with all seriousness.
Dear Merlin. There went the other calloused hand onto her other shoulder.
'Take a step back, Hermione. Take a step back,' her mind screamed, as his hands burned her bare skin with the most delicious heat. Why, oh, why, of all days, did she choose to wear a tank top? It was scarcely even summer yet!
'Make that two steps."
Hermione swallowed hard, took two tiny steps backwards, then shook her head- this was pathetic.
Her companion ended up with a mouthful of thick, curly hair.
Utilizing her extreme wit, the young woman used her hair's hyper-ness and the ensuing diversion as an advantage and took five quick, large steps backwards. As large as her short legs would allow, that is.
The only problem was that Ron came right along with her. Still holding onto her shoulders, in fact. Which meant that he was now, in essence, pinning her against a wall of the hallway, whilst spitting out hairballs (which fortunately missed her face).
This was a scene right out of that trashy romance novel that Ginny had blackmailed her into reading a few weeks previously. Minus the hairballs, of course. In those novels, women had curly tresses that cascaded down their backs romantically, for lack of a better term. Not curly locks that attacked whenever their owner felt provoked. Although in this case...
Ron's hand moved a centimeter on her shoulder. Instinctively, Hermione grabbed her satchel once again.
Merlin. This was becoming slightly ridiculous. Desperate times called for desperate measures.
"Evanesco," she muttered, whipping out her wand and waving it in the general direction of her bag, which promptly disappeared into thin air. As did, most unfortunately Ron's jumper.
DRAT.
On second thought...BLOODY BRILLIANT. WAS. THE. NAKED. CHEST. OF. ONE. RON. WEASLEY.
"Sorry about that," Hermione squeaked, clearly absolutely, positively mortified.
"Er- that's okay," Ron croaked. "Just...would you mind getting it back? I reckon this looks rather sketchy..."
"Oh, right." Hermione chanced another glance at Ron's bare half, blushed, and waved her wand.
Nothing happened.
Of all the times to forget the correct spell...
"Ron...a little help here, please?"
"You expect me to know the incantation?" Ron, even in his extreme embarrassment, was able to muster a smirk.
"If you would rather not stand here in nothing but your ruddy trousers for the next five hours, then, yes."
Ron blushed even harder, if it was imaginable. "Funny, I can't recall it either."
Why, oh why did these sort of the things always seem to happen to her?
"You leave me with one choice. Camisa!" A bright orange jumper fixed itself to Ron's upper torso. Tightly.
"Orange? Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're a girl."
"Well-spotted. Your point being..."
"Girls- at least normal girls- are supposed to have some sort of sense about color. I mean, c'mon, Hermione! Even I know this clashes terribly with my hair!"
"I didn't have a choice in color, Ron," Hermione pointed out quite coolly.
"And my jumper that's lost out there somewhere...my poor jumper...I loved that jumper...and Ginny said I should wear it more often because it rather brings out my eyes..."
"Blokes- at least normal blokes- unless their name is Draco Malfoy- do not bemoan the loss of one jumper. Nor do they obsess over colors clashing with their hair..."
"Merlin, Hermione, never, EVER compare me to Malfoy again!"
"Merlin, Ron, never, EVER give me the reason to again!"
She simply could not believe what was lying on her bed.
Namely, the jumper-in-question--and her satchel, with a note in familiar script attached to it.
Miss Granger,
I shall not ask any questions, you shall not have to give any answers.
-Professor McGonagall
This was beyond embarrassing. Of all the professors, McGonagall had to find Ron's shirt and her books floating around in Evanesco-land...oh, what she must have been thinking...
Damage control was certainly required in this instance. Hermione picked up one of the numerous crisp pieces of parchment that were stacked in a very organized fashion on her desk.
Dear Professor McGonagall,
Thank you very much for returning Ron's jumper and my satchel. I do hope, however, that you do not have the wrong idea regarding what led up to myself making my books and Ron's jumper disappear. Ron was becoming rather curious about what book I had checked out of the library (i.e., why I was so irritated when he came upon me in the corridor) and was rather close to stealing my satchel when I Evanescoed it in the hopes of keeping it from Ron's curious eyes. However, since I was a bit riled up, my spell seemed to have hit not only my intended object, but Ron's jumper in addition. I was most unfortunately unable to recall the counter-curse. Thank you again for taking care of this matter.
-Hermione Granger
"To Professor McGonagall, Athena." She tied the parchment to her owl's leg and sent her sailing out through the open window.
Now it was high time to spend a good deal of time with the book that had caused the dreadful problem.
Although seeing Ron's chest bare for the first time in her seventeen years of existence wasn't precisely what she would call "dreadful. "Perhaps "delightful" would be a more appropriate way of expressing her feelings on the matter.
Merlin, she had issues.
Hermione settled in her favorite squashy chair in the Head's Common Room.
"Ah, I see you're all set for the evening." Ernie chuckled, on his way out the portrait door.
"Of course. And you?"
"On my way to meet Hannah for a walk by the lake. Wish me luck." He wiggled his light eyebrows comically.
"Ernie, you are a wonderful bloke. And if Hannah can't recognize that, it's her loss!"
"After all, I am Head Boy. Girls simply fall at my feet."
"A bit arrogant, aren't we?" Hermione said vaguely, skimming the index of The Fine Art Of Snogging for what seemed to be the most useful chapter.
Ernie simply guffawed and with a merry wave, left the room.
Ah. This chapter looked particularly promising.
"The basics of snogging for the absolute beginner. See page 12," she read aloud.
"Snogging is the most intimate act imaginable between a witch and a wizard. Thus, it is a natural reaction to be fret about YOUR first snog. However, if it is with a wizard whom you love dearly..."
Hermione's eyes bugged out a quarter of an hour later. Merlin, this was interesting...
Oh, Godric She wasn't aware you did that during a snog...
Four pages later...
Was that even possible? She'd have to casually ask Ginny sometime...
Merlin...tangling her fingers in Ron's thick hair...
Ron's big, strong hands clutching her around the waist, pulling her to his lean, muscular body...his lips claiming hers so passionately, devouring her like some sort of sweet...
Dear, Rowena. Hermione suddenly felt rather hot in the face and began frantically fanning herself. A cold shower sounded like a very good option. Or perhaps a icy cold glass of lemonade?
"So this is what you were all flustered about earlier. Interesting reading choice, I must say."
No no NO! This had be a figment of her imagination...
"How did you get in here, Ron?" She asked shakily.
---------------------------------------Insert many, many, many curse words--------------------------------
Not only was Ron in the same room as her whilst she was fantasizing a tad bit inappropriately about him AND reading The Fine Art Of Snogging, he was perched on the arm of her chair...
"Easy. I gave the portrait the password."
"But...but...Ernie and I changed it yesterday!"
"Hermione, 'Hogwarts, A History' is quite an easy password for your best mate to guess."
"But...errr...gah..." Hermione's grasp of the English language seemed to have disappeared.
"And you were so occupied with reading this book I was able to sneak in without you knowing..." He picked up the volume-in-question and skimmed the page she had just been reading.
Oh...
-------------------------------------Insert very, very, very naughty word------------------------------------
She'd just remembered that whilst in a daze about Ron acting out the things the book discussed, she'd absentmindedly scribbled his name, oh, about a hundred times right near the diagram of a couple kissing. Right next to the wizard, in fact. And had written her name beside the witch...
"Hermione," Ron breathed, his eyes darker than she had ever, ever, ever seen them before, "how would you like to demonstrate to me what you've learned from reading The Fine Art Of Snogging ?"
"Eeep."
"Or would you rather we put this book down and instead I continue the lesson?"
"Eeep."
"I don't understand 'eeps.'"
"Eeep."
"You leave me with no choice," Ron said most wickedly. In one swift motion, he leapt off the arm of the chair and pulled a gob smacked Hermione to her feet.
"Oh, Hermione, you don't know how long I've wanted to do this." He gently cupped her cheek and caressed her face with soothing circles with the other hand.
"Ron," Hermione spoke quietly in a sort of daze when he reached her lips. "I fancy the jumper off you."
"Well, I fancy the tank top off you but I know it wouldn't appropriate to Evanesco your tank top." Ron smiled, leaning closer and closer to Hermione.
"That was an accident," she protested weakly.
And then...
It was the magic moment. The moment she had been dreaming about since she'd first fell in love with Ron in the middle of her fourth year. Oh, she'd surely fancied him for longer than that. But it was only then that she was emotionally mature enough to realize it was love and not simply an enormous crush.
Ron's lips met her own with surprising gentleness. That lasted for all of about three seconds.
Hermione soon found her lips being absolutely ravished by her best mate as he plunged his hands into her mass of curls.
She ran her fingers through his unbelievingably silky hair as he continued his pleasurable assault.
This was just like her fantasy.
As the kiss steadily grew more and more passionate, as his lips moved even more skillfully over hers, Ron clutched her waist tightly.
Kissing was such a wonderful ...experience...sensation...feeling...
He broke off the kiss for a second to catch his breath.
"You know, Ron," Hermione whispered, very glad that he was still holding her, for she was sure her legs could and would not be able to support her for a looong while, "I rather enjoy the fine art of snogging, don't you?"
She took the next thirty-five minutes of bloody brilliant snogging as his answer...
A/N: I HAVE RE-WRITTEN THE SNOGGING SCENE IN THIS CHAPTER. THIS IS THE MORE APPROPRIATE VERSION. THE OTHER ONE WASN'T THAT "BAD," BUT I- AND I BELIEVE MANY REVIEWERS- FELT A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE UNCHARACTERISTICALLY ( FOR ME) SEMI-STEAMY SCENE. I HAVE BEEN FEELING VERY GUILTY AND HYPOCRITICAL ABOUT THE SCENE, BECAUSE ALTHOUGH IT WASN'T ANYTHING CLOSE TO SMUT OR TERRIBLY INAPPROPRIATE, I STILL FEEL THAT I BROKE MY STANDARDS AND SUCH IN WRITING IT AND WROTE A SCENE THAT I WOULD NOT ACT OUT WITH A GUY WITHOUT GOING AGAINST MY MORALS. IN BLUNT TERMS, THERE WAS SOME FRENCH-KISSING AND SUCH GOING ON. I APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY AND I HOPE THAT NO ONE WHO READ THE OLD VERSION WAS OFFENDED IN ANY WAY. REST ASSURED, THIS WILL NEVER BE AN ISSUE AGAIN. I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME WHEN I WROTE THAT CHAPTER...I BLAME THE HORMONES OF GOOD OL' PMS. ERR, ANYWAY...AGAIN, I APOLOGIZE AND PROMISE THAT ALL FUTURE SNOGGING SCENES WILL BE LIKE MY EARLIER ONES- NOT TERRIBLY IN-DEPTH OR SEMI-STEAMY. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO UNDERSTANDING!
A new chapter for this fic or Colleague Chronicles or perhaps even a newstory will beposted as soon as time and inspiration permits! God bless you all! I hope you all very much enjoyed this chapter!