A/N: Okay, this is where the upped rating starts to come in. Our dear Christine is starting to get hormones! MWAHAHA!

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I hate this! I hate it, hate it, hate it! I hate being in love with Cameron... I hate him hating me... I hate Emilie Chastain... I hate wanting Cameron... I hate it all!

It's amazing to me, actually... I thought that I was over Cameron, but, for the past three months that I've been without him, I've only realized how much I love him and how much I want him.

I know it sounds utterly disgusting coming from a fifteen - year - old deformed freak living underneath an opera house, but... I want him!

But I'm trying to get rid of my wicked wanting. I scream at myself every few hours... I curl up into a ball and wish that I would die... I withold my morphine until I'm a shaking wreck...

But I still want him...

I hate this!

Christine stood in Box Five one day, observing rehearsal for Genius's Mistake, which was going on on the stage. Everything seemed to be going well so far - as far as she could see.

Then, suddenly, she saw Cameron singing one of the songs with Marie, Emilie's sister and the lead female role, in the center of the stage. It was then that everything started going wrong for her.

Sheer animal hunger starting going through her. She shuddered. Then she clenched her hands into fists in an effort to control herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

She then felt a hand come down on her shoulder and let out a cry, turning around and expecting the worst.

"My God, Christine," Francois exclaimed, "it's only me. Whatever is the matter? You looked like something was wrong with you, so I came over to you. Is everything all right?"

"Oh, Francois," she sighed with unmistakable relief, patting him on the shoulder. "Francois... no, I'm not all right... but no matter." She glanced down at the stage worriedly, silently hoping that Cameron hadn't seen her. Then she turned back to Francois. "I must go. See you tonight?"

"I - I suppose," he stammered, confused by her odd behavior. "Are you sure that you don't need help? Do you feel ill?"

"I suppose that I am ill, in a way. I'll see you tonight at dinner."

Then, without waiting for a reply, she walked off, back down to her lair, leaving him standing in Box Five alone.

I saw Christine in Box Five today.

She was observing rehearsal... I think. But she acted rather strange when I happened to look up and see her. Her eyes were closed, she was trembling, and her hands were clenched into fists.

What was wrong with her?

Well, whatever it was, I hope she's all right now.