Part two of a humorous diversion from my normally twisting and turning fics. I will have part two up of I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK soon and the next part of NAKED TRUTHS and GRAVITY OF LOVE as well. Also in the future look out for an update on IT'S A KILT THING and maybe more Oliver-centric fics. With added Percy-ness of coarse!

PART TWO - FIRST STEP IS - GET TOTALLY NAKED AND COMPLETELY WET

It'll just blow over.

Maybe some miracle will fix the Prefect bathroom by morning.

Any minute I'll be granted the powers of Dumbledore and be able to travel back in time and make singular bathing compulsory at the beginning of Hogwarts 1000 years ago.

Or I could skip showering all together tomorrow morning.

But then that would look suspicious, not to mention totally give Wood the giggles and mirth when I'm stinking out that morning's DADA class.

Maybe I could...

" What are yer yammerin' about in there now Weasley?"

Percy cursed, frowning up at the canopy of his bed and thinking of something smart to say back to the freshly showered Quidditch player just outside the tapestry around his four poster. He didn't realize he had spoken out loud and now had to deal with the possibility of seeing a naked Quidditch jock any second when he parted the curtains.

Here it comes. Mr I'm-so-hot-I-could-shag-even-straight-as-an-arrow-Diggory is about to enter the building.

And, on cue and right on time he heard the padding of footsteps come from Oliver's side of the room come right over to his bed. Already he could see the Quidditch maniac part the curtains and poke his still wet brunette haired head into the slight gap in the hangings and shake it around like a wet dog that had just finished it's bath. Percy turned his head in the sound of the rustling. And waited. There was a movement of something being poked through the curtains, a slight chuckle from the boy from the other side when he did. But nothing. No head and no wet blankets tonight it seemed.

" Wood, what are you pla..."

Then there was a louder chuckle as Percy eyed his curtains as they swayed a bit from side to side. Yet still no Oliver Wood poking through and saying hello.

" Wanna kiss my old fella goodnight for me Percy?"

Old fella? What could Wood possibly mean by...

And then Percy glanced down just a bit more lower where the curtains were parted.

" OLIVER WOOD! THAT IS SICK!"

Oliver had stuck his fully hard cock in between the gap in his curtains and was swaying it from side to side, his laughter becoming louder upon hearing Percy's outburst. A second later Percy glanced up to see two hands come through to part the curtains just enough for the owner of said hard on to poke his other head through, a grin wide and cheeky plastered on his face. " Just wanted to show you what yer missing out on Weasley. Pretty impressive don' ye think?"

And again, as it seemed only around Wood, Percy felt the beginnings of a blush form on his cheeks. " You really have got a one track mind haven't you Wood?"

" Only when it comes to what matters the most my stuck up redhead."

Percy's nostrils flared. " Piss off!"

Oliver chuckled, still swaying his hips from side to side to make his erection bob up and down in the air. " All in good time Prefect boy. Now what else's do you think we could use this for?"

" Use what?"

Oliver simply pointed at his cock, raising an eyebrow. " Surely something as impressive and majestic as this deserves something worth while for you to be in it's presence."

Percy gaped at the other lad. He knew the Quidditch captain had a really big ego but god, this was the real proof in the pudding right there.

" Well?"

Percy looked up from his musings to see the burly brunette grinning at him from the far-side of the bed, still swaying that damn python of his from side to side and, now and then, up and down and all around. " Well what?"

" See anything ye'd like to get a good grip on? Maybe...need a little, well, hands on tutoring with perhaps Weasley?"

Percy gulped. Oliver winked. The hard on twitched.

Hard on? Twitched?

Percy quickly glanced under the covers he was in. Then he realized why Wood was being so cheeky and why those hazel eyes had, for the past minute and a half, been darting from his cock to Percy's crotch area under the sheets.

Bugger! Bugger! Bugger! Bugger! Bu...Oh shit! I said that out loud...

" I'm not sure that's wise Perce. You'd never be able to handle it all in one go anyway."

" You are perverted!"

" No. Just considerate."

That's it!

Percy grabbed his wand from the night-stand and pointed it directly at Wood, eyes glaring at the Quidditch jock and daring him to argue with it. Instead the bastard just laughed. Actually laughed! " Just fuck off and go to bed Wood. And for god's sake put some boxers on before someone walks in and sees that."

Wood raised an eyebrow at the redhead. "And what would the problem be if they did waltz in unannounced Weasley? It's not like there are girls in this part of the tower and we all have cocks that get hard you know. But then again I am talking to you."

Percy's eyes flared. " What the fuck is that supposed to mean ?"

Wood shrugged as he then pushed his way further into the curtains till they were closed around him. Percy prayed to whatever god was listening that the other boy would not take a step closer with that...monster still at full salute. And why all of the sudden was his brow breaking into a sweat and his hands were shaking just a tad when Wood was standing there, hard and completely naked and grinning down at him from across the bed like he's the cat that's got the cream?

Wood, damn him, seemed totally oblivious to the other boy's plight of racked nerves and chanced second glances. Instead the Keeper was smiling at him, one hand resting on his hip while the other reached down to give the erection a few quick tugs. " Still on for tomorrow Perce?"

Bugger. He still remembers. Guess too many bludgers to the head does not result in short term memory loss.

" I don't know what you are talking about Wood. Now bugger off and go to bed."

Wood just smiled. " Ah, but I do Weasley. I am going to introduce you to the joys of co-habitation of a shower stall tomorrow morn. Make no mistake."

" You'd have to drag me out of here first."

The brunette shrugged. " Actually I thought of just putting a body bind on you and then levitate you there without fuss, but by all means do it your way. I'm sure all the kicking and screaming like a first year girl won't attract any unwanted attention in the slightest way."

Bastard.

" And what makes you think I would be interested in sharing a shower with some thick Quidditch jock like yourself."

" Why thank you for the complement Weasley! I always thought my dick was thicker than most and now you just confirmed it!"

Percy glared. " That's not what I meant and you know it!"

" Aye, but the way you keep casting glances at my manhood makes me think otherwise. Which also tells me the reason why, despite the notion you have got a stick shoved up your arse when it should obviously be this," Wood grinned, giving his hard on a quick pull," that you do want to shower with me."

Percy snorted and decided to cut the conversation where it was. Quickly he dove down under the covers with his wand, pulling them up till they reached his chin and snapped his eyes tightly shut. " This conversation is over you one track minded prick."

" Goodnight to you too Weasley."

" Bugger off Wood. And Good night."

Wood chuckled and a second lated his curtains were pushed open and then yanked closed again as the other boy exited. Listening intently Percy made out the sounds of his roommate moving from one side of the room to the other, presumably setting up his gear for the morning Quidditch practice and the trip to Hogsmeade afterwards. The sounds of curtains being yanked open and then closed then followed, the barely there sound of the word Nox muttered from the other room that turned off all the lighting in the room and bathing it in total darkness.

Finally! Now if he can just forget about the shower roster tomorrow and the fact the Prefect bathroom is closed and...

" Oh, and Weasley?"

Percy groaned. " What Wood?"

" I took the liberty of checking the roster for the shower times for tomorrow and low and behold, Gryffindor sixth years have got the whole place to themselves and the Prefect bathroom is closed for repairs. Which means..."

Oh god...

" That you and I have a date with destiny Prefect boy! Prepare to be amazed at the Great Oliver Wood Shower Philosophy!"

Great. Can picture him punching the air right now and grinning like a goddamn idiot while doing it.

" 'Night Wood."

Another sound like muffled laughter from the other side reached his ears as Percy laid his head on the pillow. For some reason, despite him being pissed off at the brunette, the Prefect chuckled in turn.

" 'Night Weasley."

--------

" Wakey Wakey my dear Prefect! Time for Oliver Wood's Shower Philosophy lesson number one !"

Wonderful. And I haven't even opened my bloody eyes yet.

First he opened one eye to cautiously check how the coast was, then upon seeing his curtains still drawn and no Oliver Wood in sight slowly opened the other as he started to untangle his lean body from the sheets.

" You were groaning in your sleep earlier. Was I any good?"

Percy snapped his eyes left and came face to face with the smirking burly boy that was Oliver 'I'm still buck naked as last night' Wood, sprawled out next to him and propped up on one elbow. A scruffy brunette haired Scotsman who's eyes were shining with clear mirth and amusement at the situation before them.

Wood seemed undeterred from his nude state. He smiled as he watched the redhead blush redder and redder, those baby blues of his skimming his nude form and the Keeper chuckling when, as last night, they latched onto his cock just a few seconds that decency required. " It's called morning wood Perce. Apt name don't you think?"

Percy just shook his head and muttered a curse under his breath, pulling the sheets again over his body and up to his chin. " What time is it?"

" Quarter past seven. We're already fifteen minutes late for our first lesson so I took the liberty of going through your wardrobe and grabbing what you'll need."

Went through my stuff ? Without even asking ? What if he found...

" What did you get without my permission?"

If Percy wasn't a combination of totally pissed and totally embarrassed he would have laughed at Wood's eyes as they widened comically at the sounded order. Instead he looked where Wood motioned with a nod of his head to the foot of the bed they were both sprawled out on. A pile of items met his gaze.

Towel, bar of soap, scrubbing brush, loofa sponge, shaving kit, bottle of water based lubricant, can of shaving gel, facial scrub...

Wait. Bottle of water based lubricant?

" Oliver, where did you get the..."

All Percy caught was the quick feline grin from the Scotsman before he leapt off the bed and walked around to the pile, his erection bouncing up and down and slapping the firm surface of his stomach with a 'thwack' sound. " Get your arse into gear Weasley. I'll meet you in the commune bathroom in ten."

Percy could only stare as Wood promptly shrugged on a bathrobe he noticed that was booked at one of the poster nails of the bed, then grabbed all his toiletries and stuffing them into what appeared to be one of Wood's sports kit bag that also seemed to be crammed with other shit as well. " But I want to know what the bottle of lube has to do with..."

But then Wood grinned, looked him right in the eye and winked. Bloody winked.

" I'll be counting down the minutes Weasley. And for every minute you are late I will have to punish you with a good hard spank on the arse."

" But you still haven't answered my..."

" Ten minutes. Better get moving my little student. This class waits for no one."

Percy fumed as he watched the retreating rear of his supposed teacher exit the room and down the hall.

There is no way in hell I am going along with this supposed Shower Philosophy of that bastard Wood. No way. Not in a million years. Not as long as I have a breath in my...

--------

" Took you long enough. If you wanted time for a morning wank you only had to have asked."

" Lay off Wood. I'm here aren't I?"

Oliver, with a grin that now seemed permanently etched on that pouted mouth of his, simply loosed the belt around his bathrobe and shrugged the whole thing to the floor, leaving Percy once again graced with the presence of a totally starkers Quidditch Keeper. And as before the effect just made Percy's face burn bright red and his eyes skim up and down the lean and muscular body despite himself.

Lean, hairless legs...smooth, flat stomach with a defined six pack...arms so broad and muscular they could break a Quaffle in two...back down to that nice, long, thick piece of...

" Take a picture Weasley. It'll last longer."

Percy's eyes snapped up to Oliver's voice, but instead of seeing Oliver's face the other lad abruptly turned around and started the hot water pouring from one of the shower nozzles in one of the nine shower cubicles that were along the far wall of the bathroom. Any other sane man would have used the turned back of the Keeper as an opportunity to check out his impossibly taunt, hairless arse cheeks that were slightly jutted out from his lower back as Wood leaned in to test the water temperature with his hand. But Percy's mind was racing with one thought.

Nine shower cubicles and he's only started water in one. That could only mean that he wants...that he and I...

Oh bugger.

" Not yet."

Percy looked up at Wood, who was now turned back to face him and was moving over to where he was standing. Percy could only stand there and gape as the smirking boy pried the towel from his hand and threw it to the floor, then let Oliver strip him completely of his sleep shirt and pants.

" I don' know why yer bother wearing all this shit to bed Weasley," the brunette muttered as he yanked down the sleep pants and helped the redhead step out of them without tripping. " Yer only gonna hafta remove it all to get dressed in something completely different in the morn anyway."

" Well some of us were not blessed with looks such as yours Wood," Percy snapped back, wrapping his arms around himself and looking past Wood at the shower stall with the water running hard onto the tiles. " Now let me just run my shower and we'll be done before the seventh years come in."

Oliver looked at Percy for a minute, his gaze traveling slowly up and down the pale lithe figure with freckles dotting sparse areas of the smooth skin. " I'm afraid that's not how it works with lesson one Perce."

" What do you mean by that?"

Oliver's grin broadened. With so much as a yelp of surprise from the redhead Oliver had thrown Percy over his shoulder and, laughing and nearly tripping on the blue and white tiles underneath his feet, carried Percy over to the shower and dropped him smack bang in the centre, directly underneath the hard hot spray from the faucet.

Oliver was still chuckling hard, watching the Weasley curse and stutter water as he floundered around under the water like, ironically, a fish out of it.

" Looking real good there Prefect boy. Step one should be a cinch now even for you."

" Which is fuckin' what Wood? You got me naked, soaking wet and..."

Thud!

Wood cleared the space in under a second, pinning a now wide eyed Weasley against the back wall of the stall with his hands on the slender hips of the Prefect, and in doing so placed his own broader, bronzed form underneath the running water. Percy's eyes wanted to suddenly watch every drop as they cascaded down the tousled brown hair, across the smooth cheeks and pouted red lips, right down lower to the thick neck and broad shoulders and smooth, firm chest. And as for the rivets spiraling down the ridges of the flat six pack...

" Jesus Christ!" Percy gasped, Wood grabbing his hips hard and yanking him back to be flush against the Quidditch player and both directly underneath the spray. He tried to gain purchase with his feet on the slick flooring but failed. A smirking Wood caught him by wrapping an arm tightly around his waist and pulling him close.

" Slippery little sucker aren't you," Wood purred, grinning when he felt Percy's arms come to grasp him cautiously at his hip. " But you are doing well so far. Getting nice and wet and very, very slick. Should be top marks for you by end of this I wager."

Wood watched the water rain down in little rivers along the curve of Percy's back, and lower still to cascade over an arse that, until just that very second, he thought was as flat as a pancake. Rather it was round, very firm and white as could be.

In other words, perfect for yours truly.

Oliver leaned in, biting down lightly on the lobe of Percy's right ear and making Percy shiver. " Now that we've got stage one out of the way, ready for stage two of my great philosophy Perce?"

Percy rolled his eyes, his expression still prissy despite his nakedness and close proximity to another naked boy. A sudden chill descended over him and made the Prefect shiver.

" What's...what's the second part of your philosophy then Wood?"

The Keeper grinned. " You are a eager little beaver aren't you Perce? But then you always liked a subject that was, ah, hard to grasp shall we say."

Percy felt Wood buck up hard against him, feeling the hardened rod of flesh that was Wood's cock rub against his inner thigh in a deliberately slow fashion.

Percy knew he should be repulsed by this, pushing Wood away the very second he felt the moist head of the prick graze past underneath his ball sack. He had Penelope after all.

But damn if little miss prim doesn't make me feel half as bloody good as Wood is now.

Wood knelt down at the corner of Percy's eye, watching the Keeper open the sports kit bag he had thrown just outside the shower stall. He was vaguely aware that Wood was rubbing small circles at the small of his back with his free hand while doing so, touched by the small gesture of comfort.

But it stopped when Wood was back flush against him, erection pressed tightly next to his own quickly forming one, grinning as he held what he had retrieved in front of their eyes.

Body wash. Mint scented.

" Step two Weasley is..."

TBC...