NOTE: There are very little Hermione POVs since firstly, it's about Lily's Diary this chapter (and few others before) and secondly, I don't know what to write. Sorry bout that, hehe. The last few chapters will have a lot of Hermione's though because it's going to be slightly crucial. Hope you like this one.

Chapter 23: Midnight Chat

Hermione, with a wave of her wand, distinguished the rest of the light in the dormitory except for her own source.

May 20,

Dear Diary,

Well, ignoring Sam's runts were easy. Anyway, she stopped later on. But even though, I'm still thinking about what she was saying.

AARRRGGHH!

Alright, I'll admit it. Maybe I'm starting to feel differently around James. Is it a bad thing?

I don't know.

Well, he's just so changed. Sure, he's still that annoying and mischievous Marauder but he's changed from the toe-rag git he was. He's more matured and well, definitely grown up.

Also, I guess since we spent more time with each other (Head duties etc.) and I get to know him better (thank you Remus for making this obvious).

And now, I feel so stupid for not actually giving him a time of day before to maybe get to know him better. It was his fault though, he was being an arrogant git. Who could possibly stand that!

But I'm telling you, I may like James more than a friend would but I'm not in love with him.

It's just, he's much different from the person I thought he was. I guess the self-centered idiot was just the immature Potter who was too stupid and young to know anything. Even if I thought some of the pranks the Marauders did were quite funny. I guess it's just the control freak Lily Evans who was stopping me from making friends with any of them.

I never thought I'd say this, but James is not at all what I thought he was. He's just too, bloody hell, apart from the fact that he's handsome, he's just really sweet.

Nowadays, his mere presence makes my day perfect. His jokes, his smile and the annoying yet casually funny way of words are amazing.

Oh my God, I am in love. I'm not even talking like myself! Do you realize how much cheesy stuff I just wrote?

But I don't want him to find out. I know it's bloody stupid, but imagine what he would say when the girl he'd been chasing his whole time in Hogwarts, who hates him, suddenly told him that she had finally learned to love him. He won't give me a chance. He'll make me suffer like I made him suffer, I knew it.

What's worse you say?

He may not like me anymore (which proves Sam wrong I guess A/N, read the previous chap).

No, he won't find out. We'll stay as friends and that's it.

Lily

Hermione couldn't take her eyes off the book, so she continued reading more until two days later.

May 22

Dear Diary,

Who could have known that something like this could happen? Well, let me tell you, if someone told me something like this could have happened in one night, I would say that they jump into the lake and let the Giant Squid squeeze their brains out. Merlin, if someone told me this just a couple of years before I would have told them they're completely deranged, murder them after cursing them to oblivion and go blame big head James Potter about it. You want to know why I'm so happy about? Well, this is what happened:

It started after the nightly patrol with James. We headed to the common room at around midnight, after avoiding Filch and his deranged cat. Imagine trying to give detention to the Head Boy and Head Girl for patrolling the corridors at night.

"That Filch is a nutter," James said sitting on a couch. "He's been for years and years to come. Do you remember the time Sirius filled his office with chocolate frogs that turned to real ones? You were one of the audiences I remember."

"Or that time you turned Mrs. Norris' fur in rainbow colors but managed to get some of the potion on me "accidentally" as well? How could I forget?" I said crossing my arms and sitting next to him.

James smirked, "You got to admit though, that was priceless."

"Yeah, so was the two and a half days appointment you had to endure in the Hospital Wing because—"

"Of the countless jinxes you fired at me, yes, I know." James finished cringing.

There was a moment of silence before James spoke.

"Why are you so distant these last couple of days?" he asked.

"Distant? What do you mean?" I avoided his eyes purposely. As a matter of fact, I somehow did. I couldn't let him know what I really felt about him. The feelings seem to materialize when I'm anywhere near him.

"It's like, you're avoiding me."

I faked a snort, which I thought was rather convincing, "Why would I be avoiding you?"

"If you stop answering me with questions, maybe you can answer that."

I laughed. But as far as I'm concerned; I'll avoid answering his questions.

"You're just imagining things Potter. How could I avoid you with all these Head Duties?"

"You're doing it again." I laughed one more time.

"I'll ask you one more then," I said. "Why do speak so seriously nowadays?"

"Oh, so you think I'm too serious now."

"No, but whatever happened to the laid-back James Potter."

Then his tone became more serious still. Honestly, are blokes really that stupid to emphasize a complicated point of a question?

"I thought you didn't like that James Potter."

"What?"

"I said I thought you didn't like the laid back one."

"When did I say that?"

"You didn't. You showed me."

As I thought about it. Maybe I did. Those times when I still hated him.

"That doesn't mean I don't like the one that laughs and makes stupid foolish jokes all the time."

He looked at me in surprise. "So you like the one who plays pranks on the Slytherins." There was hope in his eyes. If he thinks he could cause havoc because he thinks I like him that way, he's wrong.

"I like the responsible one." I said not breaking eye contact. "But at the same time fun."

There was another pause. He smirked at me. Not a good sign. "Does this mean you like me, Lily?"

A stupid little voice in my head, which sounded exasperatingly like Sam, kept on saying "say yes. YES!"

"Don't push it, James." I'm not going to give in that easily.

When I turned towards him, I saw that he was much closer to me than I thought. My green eyes met his hazel ones. He has beautiful eyes. I had to turn away because if I continue looking into them, I'll get lost.

"So, um, why did you decide to deflate your head, James Potter?"

He just looked at me puzzled.

"It's a question I want to ask you that for a long time. Just like I said, you're more serious nowadays than before. Why? You didn't answer."

He shook his head with a smile, "I did answer you."

Once again I said, "What."

"I did it because of you. I wanted you to finally treat me normally, Lily," he said not looking at me. "I finally realized you didn't like the James Potter who showed you all he could do. So, I decided to leave you alone more and be more normal around you."

I was speechless. He'd do that for me?

"I knew you hated me. I couldn't bear it anymore, so I decided to stop bothering you. Remus said I should just be satisfied with being friends, even if it hurts to know that's all we'll ever be, I did it. I guess Dumbledore helped too by making me a Head Boy with you." He finished with a smile, like what he said was something you would explain to someone everyday.

"I, well, uh...er-I—" I intelligently replied. sarcasm

When I was still in fifth year, until earlier in seventh year, I always thought he only asked me out because he either fancy me a little or just to annoy me. Even just a few days ago during my argument with Sam, when she said he loves me, I thought 'love' as in just a little more than friends…not 'love' as in real love (alright that sounds really intellectual sarcasm).

I guess I was proven wrong by James himself.

When I looked towards him again, he was not looking at me, but instead towards the fire as if in deep thought. He was so close to me, I could feel my face heat up.

Without thinking, his name slipped from my mouth.

"James."

He looked. I met his eyes once again. Why are there so many de-ja-vu all in one night?

But what I wasn't expecting was what I did next. I didn't know what came over me. I think it was because he was so close that I was falling into his gaze.

I leaned forward and kissed him.

Let me tell you, for the first time in my life, I felt something I thought I would only read in books. Sure, I've dated a few guys before and maybe gave them a peck, but never a kiss.

I managed to see the shock look in his face though. It took him about 5 seconds before realizing what just happened: meaning it took him a moment to kiss back. I guess it wasn't a joke about the rumor that Potter was a great kisser. But that's not the point. About those fireworks they say, there was definitely fireworks. I didn't know why, I can't explain. It was as though I could feel that…he loved me. This is so bad, I'm sorry I'm all out of descriptions

But then dread washed over me. What am I doing? As quickly as I can, and as reluctantly, I pushed James away. I had to stop. For the last few weeks, we were the closest of friends, and with him like that, I was happy. I couldn't ruin that. If we ever become more than friends, if problems come, it would be harder to forgive. I'm not going to let destroy my friendship with anyone for a stupid thing as…falling in love.

So, I stood up, "James, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean too." That was when I ran away, headed to the dormitories. I didn't notice that James followed me. He grabbed my arm.

"Wait, Lily." I turned and averted my eyes. I couldn't look into his anymore. He shook me lightly, as if trying to look into mine. It didn't work.

"Lily."

Slowly, he tilted my face so I was looking (again!) into his eyes. He smiled at me. I didn't return it.

"James, we can't, I can't. We've been friends for a long time now. You don't want that to go away, do you? I-I know you want more but I—"

"Lily, please listen to me."

I stopped talking.

"I don't want to lose our friendship too. I'm not asking you to be anything more; it's all up to you. But one thing I'm telling you is that," he paused. "Do you know how long I've waited for that?"

"What?" I was slightly astounded though I shouldn't be. What did he mean?

His smiled widened, "Lily, I love you." The pretty sums it up.

I don't know what to say so I just stood there standing. Stupid voice in head said: Just say "I love you too, James" Lily you prat.

But I didn't get the chance. He swooped down and pressed down his lips on mine. Let me tell you, it was much better than the first one. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and him around my waist. I think I was in heaven. That was until we were rudely interrupted by a loud thump, a small bang and a squeak.

The door leading to the boy's dorm burst open. Sirius Black fell onto the warm common room floor groaning. Remus was glowering over him while Peter who was sitting on the first stair with his mouth open, staring at Sirius, suddenly stood up, turned into a rat and ran up behind Remus feet. Then I noticed that Remus was missing an arm!

"Alright who stole the cloak?" James asked after the surprised look passed from his face.

Cloak? Invisibility cloak?

"It was this genius' idea," Remus grumbled looking on the laughing Sirius on the floor.

"Come on Moony, it was worth it," he said between laughs. Remus started smirking and looked at me and James.

With my face matching the red of my hair, I looked up at James, who had his hands on my shoulder. He held them up innocently.

"I swear I don't know."

"Don't worry Lil's. It's all the great Padfoot's idea," Sirius said standing up while laughing with Remus.

And I think he got some help. While James started asking Sirius what other surprises he had, I heard a small sound coming from the other door leading to the "other" dorms (aka Girls' dormitory).

"Wormtail, Moony, let's leave the two lovebirds alone shall we?" Sirius said while Remus pulled him by the collar (and Peter by the tail) still sniggering.

After a few seconds I tapped James' shoulder, "I think it's too late. I'll see you tomorrow."

As I walked towards the girls' dormitory, James called me.

"Lily, wait."

I looked at him.

"So, er, does this mean we are, erm, you know…does this mean we're together?" he asked emphasizing the point with hand movements.

I walked back to him and gave him one last peck on the lips. "Goodnight, Potter." If he didn't get what that means, I'll have him to St. Mungos by morning.

We went separate ways but as I walked up the stairs I forgot to do one last thing.

"James." He looked back.

"I love you, too."

I think I managed to keep him rooted to the spot. But you know, guess what, he didn't hate me! Like I thought he would!

Now, it's 3 a.m. and I just finished interrogating four girls who happened to have heard everything and in which two happened to be in "cahoots", as they say, with the Marauders. I'm sleepy now. I've just got to write that down.

Lily

Note: That's it, please review until the next chap.