Dreamless Love Story Chapter 2: Old Habits, a tsubasa chronicle fanfic

Dreamless Love Story

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Chapter 2: Old Habits

Dreamed I was a tidal wave - I ravaged your coast there were no survivors
Dreamed I was your landlord - I showed your place when you had lovers
If I was a vampire, I wouldn't suck your blood
Then I dreamed I was you... The sweetest dream I have had…

"Fireman" - Jawbreaker

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing. Is this really necessary?

Perfect – she's perfect. The dark-haired girl rests her cheek on her hand, watching her friend's lips across the teacups and saucers. Just watching. The perfect, glossy pink petals move soundlessly, forming picturesque contours in her heart-shaped face. Framed by fine tendrils of sandy hair, that face glows. It radiates – kindness, strength, energy and cheerfulness. She wants to sigh. There is a comfortable warmth, down low in her chest, like the feeling of coming home.

"Tomoyo?"

"Mmm."

"Tomoyo, are you listening to me?"

Tomoyo lifts her head from her hand and cocks it to one side. "I'm sorry, Sakura… I was just thinking about something." She smiles serenely, a small blush on her pale cheeks. "May I pour you some more tea?"

"Mm, yes please." The fair-haired girl grins, offering her cup. "I just asked… what are you going to do about Takuya-san?" There is a look of concern on her sun-kissed face.

"Takuya… san?" Tomoyo repeats, slowly and cautiously.

"He confessed to you, but you haven't given him an answer yet. Graduation is only three weeks away…" Ah yes, that Takuya-san. Sakura reaches across the low table to touch her friend's hand. "He's from another class, but apparently he's always liked you…" Tomoyo furrows her brow trying to remember what this person looks like, unable to picture him, while Sakura smiles gently. "It doesn't matter what you choose, but… the truth is, you're my best friend, and I don't even know how you feel about this…"

Her green eyes sparkle with flecks of gold in the late afternoon sunlight. It's breathtaking, causing Tomoyo to look away in thrilled embarrassment. Sakura does the same, looking down at her lap. "It's just… we've been through so much together." She pokes aimlessly at her slice of cake with a small fork. Tomoyo feels a pang of nostalgia in agreement. "And, we've both changed so much over the years." They each look up at one other and smile meaningfully, across the tea and cakes, aware of how strange a pair they make. One girl tanned and fair-haired, with slender athletic limbs in Beams Boy jeans, the other kneeling formally, pale skin and long black hair accentuated by her intricately frilled, doll-like dress of black lace and white ribbons. Sakura's eyes shimmer liquid-like. "But, you still mean so much to me… I want to know how Tomoyo feels." Her face is sunny, hands clasped in her lap.

How Tomoyo feels? About this boy, or any other? Tomoyo shakes her head. "I don't know…" she fidgets with a ribbon in her pale fingers. "I don't really feel like dating anybody… right now." It sounds contrite. She looks up with a smile. "I'm happy to be with Sakura, and Syaoran-kun." Sounds so contrite, but it's true. Isn't it?

Sakura frowns a little. "Are you sure there isn't anything else?"

"Hmm?"

Sakura scratches her head, embarrassedly. "Anything… you know, whatever it is, you can talk to me about it."

Tomoyo blushes. "Of… of course I would! I would tell Sakura anything!" She spins her teacup slowly in its saucer. "But, I'm not sure what you are referring to…"

The fair-haired girl bites her lip. "Well, it's just…" She awkwardly looks across the low table. "About that time… last year…"

Tomoyo's eyes widen. "Last… year?"

"Tomoyo!" He is standing across the street, his hard face distorted by an angry scowl. It is a cold day, grey clouds rolling above. In a leather motorcycle jacket he looks even more massive and intimidating.

She lowers her violet eyes to the sidewalk at her feet, walking briskly toward the corner. The other girls crowd around her in a flurry of uniforms and school bags, their initial hush bursting into a roar of whispers and twittering queries.

"Do you know that man, Tomoyo-chan?"

"Who is that guy?"

"He looks so scary!"

"How does he know your name?"

"Nnng…" Tomoyo shakes her head, painfully, never looking up from the ground. Where did he get that expensive-looking motorcycle? She feels strangely angry.

Her mind swells with the memory of him at her door, two nights ago. It was after midnight that she heard the knock. Breathing raggedly. His clothes had been wet, sticky – an unfamiliar smell – and his eyes darted around jerkily, like a wounded animal. But he wasn't wounded… There were red and purple bruises on his hands. She was scared. She hadn't wanted to let him in… "That… blood… it isn't yours…"

"What the hell, Tomoyo!"

The girls around her gasp and scatter, as he stands planted in front of them on the sidewalk. Staring straight ahead, her eyes are at his chest – she does not look up at his face. He grabs her shoulders roughly. "What's your fucking problem?"

She clenches her fists at her sides, her tiny frame shaking. "Please..." She still cannot meet his glaring gaze. "Please stay away from me!"

She pulls free of his hold, turning away. Softly, in a strained voice, she utters the words - "I don't want anything to do with someone like you…"

And she runs, a black flag of hair flying out behind her, leaving everyone – her school friends, that man – standing still in the middle of the crowded street.

Sakura touches her shoulder, gently. "I heard what happened that day. You never talked about it." She bites her glossy underlip. "Tomoyo… you were seeing that guy, weren't you."

Tomoyo inhales through her teeth. "Um… it wasn't really like that. It wasn't anything serious… It was just for a few months, last winter…" Her face is flushing a deep red.

"It's okay," her friend chuckles, covering her mouth with her hand. "I… I just can't believe you wouldn't tell me about him… that's all…"

"Sakura…"

"I mean… was that person your first boyfriend?"

Tomoyo's face is glowing scarlet, as she stammers – "I, it, w-w-wasn't anything like t-that!"

Sakura's lips form a small pout. "You know you can tell me anything, right? We're best friends…"

Tomoyo feels a snagging feeling at the back of her throat. Not quite everything…

The two old friends sit for a moment in silence, warm light bathing the room through the white, gauzy window dressings.

Sakura takes a sip of tea, and then lets out an embarrassed giggle. She leans her elbows on the table. "What I really want to know is…" There is a mischievous pause. "…How did Tomoyo even meet a guy like that anyway?" She chuckles, shrugging in mock exasperation.

Tomoyo smiles, relaxing a little. Sakura is always so cheerful... "Actually…" she sips her tea. "He lived next door, when I was a little kid."

Sakura looks confused. "I didn't think there was a house next door to yours…" The image of Tomoyo's family mansion with its sprawling grounds fills the fair-haired girl's mind. Suddenly, her eyes widen. "You don't mean, that huge house across the street?"

Tomoyo nods.

"Wow! He must be very rich then…" she quickly covers her mouth with her hand. "I, I don't mean…"

"It's okay!" Tomoyo giggles. She speaks slowly - "I suppose you're right… his family had money, that is. I believe his father was a shipping magnate, the steel industry… but I was very young when they lived there…" Her eyes look lost, gazing out the window. "Kurogane... it was their name..."

"Kurogane…" Sakura mouths the word.

"But anyway…" Tomoyo suddenly puts her cup back into its saucer. "We should clear these things away… have to study, right?"

"Mm." Sakura nods. "Let's try our best, ok?" Her eyes are bright, and simple – filled with warm concern, charm, and that distinctly positive energy. Tomoyo shrugs away dark thoughts and lets that warmth soak into her heart… perfect. She's so perfect.

The raven-haired girl carefully places a lid on the jar of sugar and begins to stack the saucers with busy hands.

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You know you can tell me anything, right?

Tomoyo lies on her bed, lazily threading a ribbon through the grometted holes in a black brocade corset. The moon is a sliver through the open curtains of her bedroom window. The most important person in the world – of course she would tell Sakura anything. But there were some things that she didn't understand herself…

When she was younger, she had been sure that Sakura was her only love. She had told her, in her own way, knowing her friend's heart was not the same but glorying in her happiness, her deepest friendship. It was simple, it made sense – and she didn't mind, being different. But gradually, she had started to wonder…

Being alone, it really isn't that easy after all.

How did Tomoyo even meet a guy like that anyway? Tomoyo inhales sharply. "I haven't thought about that person in a while, ohoho…" she laughs aloud, unconvincingly, into her empty room.

Being alone, huh? He was always alone. They had both been alone, that day, over a year ago… the day she had met Kurogane again.

It had been a bad day. Tomoyo was partnered with those girls for English conversation practice. They weren't the type to study, when left alone in the classroom. Tomoyo had sat upright reviewing her verb list silently, the rest of the group giggling around her…

"Hey Daidouji, who do you like?" There is a sudden hush in the room.

She looks up from her book to see all three of her partners turned toward her. Eyes intent. "Um…"

"Tomoyo-chan doesn't like any boys, does she?"

"No, maybe she thinks she's too pretty for any of the boys at our school." They chuckle, no longer looking at Tomoyo.

"But she's always hanging around with Kinomoto and her boyfriend in the other class…"

"Do you have a crush on your best friend's boyfriend?" The girls gasp in mock horror. Tomoyo grits her teeth and does not react.

"No way," laughs the girl with the shortest hair, "I don't think Tomoyo-chan likes boys at all."

"What do you mean, Emi-chan?"

"She's too in love with herself." The girl smiles cruelly. "Dressed up like a little doll in those outfits she sews. It's pathetic really." The rest nod in agreement, and Tomoyo turns her eyes back to the verbs on her page.

Tomoyo gets up from her bed, and moves toward her window, remembering. She had skipped going to her cram school that afternoon, and taken the subway by herself. At the park outside the train station, she bought herself a vanilla ice cream cone. Walking slowly along the water's edge, she had carefully licked each melting drip. It had been sunny but cool, that day, and the park was crowded. At the far end of the pond, she knew, there were always fewer people, and no benches.

Tomoyo walks beyond the pond's end, and into the trees, kneeling down in the grass beside the high brick outer wall that surrounds the park. There is nobody else to be seen, she smilingly observes, feeling safe for the first time all day.

She folds the paper napkin from her ice cream into a neat square, and begins to shred the blades of grass around her with small white fingers.

Why can't they ever leave me alone? She thinks, frowning. I don't mind being alone…

Thump. Tomoyo looks up from her lap to see a tall male figure a few metres away, standing up in the grass and brushing himself off. She gasps. Did he just come over the wall? Something about his leering posture is familiar, as he whips his head from side to side, making sure he hasn't been followed. He looks like… Tomoyo squints in recognition. "Kurogane… senpai?" He has seen her.

"You." He snarls in a low voice, by her side in a few quick steps. "Come with me." He has grabbed her by the wrist and is pulling her from her kneeling position. His enormous hand wraps completely around the thickness of her forearm, and she stumbles after him, too surprised to speak. They hurry along the far side of the pond, awkwardly. His eyes are wildly scanning around.

"Where…"

"Shh!" he hisses, dragging her closer behind him. In moments they are beyond the park gates and he is pulling her roughly around the corner. Am I being kidnapped? Is this a dream? Tomoyo muses, still too shocked to even feel afraid. They hurry like this for the length of a block, before the man ducks into a doorway, pulling her in behind him. He holds her close with his back to the street. On her utmost tiptoes, wide eyes peeking out over his hunched shoulder, Tomoyo sees a large black car drive by.

"In here," he grunts, pushing her through the door.

"For two people, is it?" greets a cheerful voice. Tomoyo bites her trembling underlip.

The waitress seats them in a booth near the back – it is a small, diner-style café with food-stained menus. Her dark companion pulls the collar of his jacket up and hunches down, hiding his face from the window.

"Sorry," he grunts brusquely, in Tomoyo's direction, "but could you sit there for a little while?" It is not really a question. Tomoyo sinks down in her seat, nervously. She looks across the table at his face – sharp features, an angry brow shading dark red eyes, thin lips in a scowl. There are beads of sweat on his forehead. Tomoyo sniffs. He's not that old… 23 or 24, maybe – but he looks mean. She counts the age in her head… it has to be the same person.

"Um…" He looks up at the sound of her small voice. "Kurogane, isn't it?" A look of surprise flashes across his face. She continues, timidly - "Why are you running from that car?"

"Be quiet." He snarls. Then, in a low voice – "How do you know my name?"

Tomoyo fidgets with her school bag. "You used to live in Tomoeda." She purses her small lips. "You did kendo – I always saw you coming home from school carrying your shinai."

"You remember that?" He squints at her.

"Then you remember too." She smiles, feeling strangely at ease - so he does remember her as well. He just grunts. The set of his chin makes it look like he is sulking – despite his menacing glower, something about him reminds her of a little boy. She frowns with a sudden memory. Kurogane… that family. Didn't something terrible happen?

"You don't want to know anyway."

"Hm?" she cocks her head to one side, anxiously.

"About that car." In his eyes when he looks at her, there is an emotion, almost… protective? He snorts, fiddling with a cell phone in his large, rough-looking hands.

Surveying the café, Tomoyo realizes with a sigh that she doesn't feel that scared or disturbed at all. In fact, she is feeling oddly excited - courageous, even. It is a good feeling. She smiles hesitantly, then suddenly reaches her hand across the table, taking the phone from his fist.

"Hey! You..."

"My mother's company manufactures these," she says in her delicate voice, pressing buttons deftly with small, experienced fingers.

Kurogane starts out of his seat. "What the hell are you doing with that!" he snarls, trying to stay inconspicuous through his startled frustration.

Tomoyo flashes him a sweet grin, handing the phone back across the table. "I entered my phone number."

Tomoyo sighs, and holds her head in her hands. I have to stop thinking about that, she sniffs, setting her small chin firmly and decisively.

Glancing over at the low table by the screen door, she sees her friend's warm green eyes, lit gold by the afternoon sun. Sakura… Tomoyo scrunches her own eyes closed, sighing again.

The air suddenly feels very close and humid, in her room. Tomoyo has a heady, dizzy, light feeling behind her eyes. She stares out the window at the sliver of moon in the night sky, then over at the clock on her night table. It is past midnight. Maybe some fresh air, she thinks, lifting her plum-lined velvet cloak from the chair and moving softly toward the door.

A/N: Phew, long chapter. Thanks so much to you few guys for reviewing, it made me work on this faster. Maybe too fast, because it's not that poetic. Holy flashback much, eh? Sorry this was mostly filling in the background. I promise next chapter things will actually start happening, ok? And more Kuro is always good, hehe.