Porky and Spotty
The kid informally known as Bonehead was becoming a tantalising enigma for Lister. Rimmer was already in the classroom when Lister arrived after break-time, with a few other eager-beavers who had huddled together to discuss Sylvia Plath ready for English Literature. But Rimmer sat alone in his chair, not doing anything bar staring at the wall. He didn't even slouch, and seemed almost robotic to Lister with his disinterest for seeking comfort. "All right?" said Lister, giving him his warmest smile.
"Don't bother," said a boy slumping into the chair in front. "Bonehead don't speak to no-one he don't trust, right Boney?"
"Shuddup, Porky..." said Rimmer with a flicker of personality that caught Lister's attention. Porky laughed at him and stuck out his hand to Lister, who shook it, glad to have reception from someone. "Name's Porky Roebuck. I can smuggle just about anything in and out of this place, so I'm everyone's friend. Ifn' you want to keep Parky off your back - you just tell him I'm your newest pal. He'd hate for me to cut off his supply of pirate DVDs." Lister grinned at him. "I appreciate it mate, but I should fight me own battles. So, you heard about our 'Rumble in the Bikes'?" Porky nodded, tossing a packet of cigarettes at Lister. "The first one's always free."
"Cheers mate! This is a really expensive brand."
"Not if you go to the right places. But anyway, don't mind Sanjeev Parker and 'is lot. They're all talk."
"Easy for you to say," an angry voice squeaked at them. 'Spotty' Cohen, the boy who didn't want to sit next to Lister before, was regarding them all with utter contempt and utterly wet hair. "You didn't get your head flushed down the loo during break."
"That was you!" Porky chortled.
Spotty chewed his bottom lip to stop himself from launching an attack on Porky and said, "Yeah and I heard Parker say he was next." The 'he' was Lister. He regarded Spotty with a cheeky grin. "I'm not scared of him. He wants me? He can come and get me. I'll make it worth his while." Rimmer looked at him and opened his mouth to say something, but it was quickly shut and Lister shortly realised why. Sanjeev Parker had entered the room.
"Well, well, Ratty. Ready for a fate worse than Spotty's? You better watch your pretty hair doesn't get caught up the u-bend." His followers automatically burst into peals of rehearsed laughter. "And thanks for the tip about Farrell, Bonehead. As your reward you don't have to be at the flag pole on Friday." Rimmer nodded tamely. "Flagpole?" asked Lister when they'd gone.
"Yeah, every Friday Bonehead gets hoisted up the flagpole. No matter where he hides they find him so now he just waits for them there."
"You shouldn't take shit like that from them," Lister told him forcefully. But Rimmer didn't even seem to hear him.