Confrontation

Parker pushed Lister aside, ignoring when the other lads came storming out of the dormitory. "Whaddya mean the bet's off?" he growled into his ear.

"I like the guy. I don't want to piss him off. He's cool when you get to know him."

"Hah! He's a rat's turd, and you're a rat's turd lover." Parker began to roll up his sleeves. "Know what happens to rat's turd lovers?"

"Same that's going to happen to you," said Lister, his sleeves already rolled up and raring to go. Sanjeev had the advantage, he had to admit. He was taller, stronger and most likely smarter, and Lister hadn't been feeling right for a few hours. But Lister had had more fights than Sanjeev had had dentist appointments. Sanjeev lurched forward with a right-handed upward punch – a common first move – which Lister dodged easily. Sanjeev swung his leg around and caught Lister from below. He staggered backwards but quickly regained his footing. Sanjeev saw his opening elbowed Lister in the right side. Lister collapsed, vomiting harshly.

Porky had been wrong. Sanjeev wasn't all talk. He knew exactly what he was doing. Sanjeev stared as Lister pulled himself up and grinned at him through pain. "Good," he chuckled. "I haven't had an equal match in a while. My turn..."

Lister limped into the dormitory clutching his stomach, followed by a well-tenderised Sanjeev Parker. Lister was impressed - not many regained consciousness so soon after a fight with him. He lowered himself into Rimmer's bed and hoped he wouldn't ask questions and just let him lie there. Where is Rimmer? he wondered, his torso aching.

"Oh Lister, there you are. Have you seen Bonehead?"

"No. I left him here," he groaned, trying to turn his head to look at Porky.

"Odd," Porky pondered. "He was with us when we went to peek at Ricky's sis, but he'd gone before we got there. I fawt he'd chickened out and come back here. I wanted to as well when I seen them storm clouds. Rain ain't no fun in a wool blazer."

"Doubtful," said Spotty with a soft chuckle. "I'll bet he's really mad at Lister. Ack!" Lister thrust Spotty against the wall with his one intact hand around his shirt-collar. "What? What did you tell him you f-" Porky broke in between them and brushed Lister away. "Hold it, guys! What is goin' on 'ere?"

"This little twat squealed on me!"

"Well, I wasn't the one who bet on a friend! You're a bigger twat!" Spotty said, his voice escalating into a petrified screech. Lister buried his face into his hand. He couldn't deny it. "So that's why you bin 'anging round him. We fawt you were mental. But money… yeah, make's more sense."

"Where could he have gone?" Lister despaired out loud.

Porky tapped his chin and mumbled, "Well..."

"What? Where?"

"I dunno if he'd be that stupid but... there's a tree at the far end of the playin' field. He sometimes goes there to fink and stuff." With a cry of dismay Lister was down the stairs and gone into the pendulous night.