It was a long five hours waiting for the rest of the crew to return from the job. She paced, she prayed, and meditated but nothing could calm her. "I'm betraying my training." she said to herself. "Just keep praying to Buddha for strength."

"I think you're strong enough without Buddha givin' you a hand." His rough voice startled her as she turned to see Mal half way across her shuttle.

"Mal, come in." she said blowing out the match she held after lighting a last candle.

"Don' I always." After a few seconds of Inara's cold annoyed stare he continued. "So we should be on Paquin within a day or two. Let your client know he can board when we get there."

"Mal, I-" Inara was cut off.

"I don't 'spect ta hear all the details. We'll be outta here and out of your way the next morning." He spoke quickly avoiding her surprised gaze. The ship shook as they broke out of atmo. Mal slapped the comm unit next to the door. "River! Careful with my ship!"

"No more fights captain daddy only peace." River stated cryptically.

"I never know what the hell she's talkin' about." Mal said slamming the comm off. Another lurch upset Inara's balance. Mal rushed to her side and firmly lifted her back onto her feet. They stood only inches away from each other. His hands still wrapped around her tiny waist. "You alright?" he asked removing his hands. She nodded. An even rougher jolt hit again almost pulling them both to the floor. He wrapped his arms around her waist tighter as her arms slid up his chest. The ship continued to rock about forcing them together, brushing their lips. The shock of lips touching jolted their eyes open. Pulling apart, Mal was the first to speak. "I-I'm sorry 'Nara." he stuttered. He hit the comm once more. "River!" His harsh tone making Inara jump slightly.

"Did it work? Did you make peace?" she asked.

"Just get us to Paquin." he said, exasperated. "And smoothly, please." he added turning back to face Inara. Her shaking finger tips resting on her lips. "I'm sorry that happened." he said trying to remain as respectful as possible.

Inara turned away from him while rolling her eyes. "You would be." she mumbled.

"What the gorram hell is that supposed to mean?" he spat.

"Why cant you ever own up to anything that happens and just go with your feelings Mal." she calmly shot back.

He took a few steps toward her. "Because every time I come close to you, you back off an' run scared."

"No Mal, your the one who's running." she sighed. Then she began again, voice soft and calm. "Malcolm Reynolds. You can survive a brutal beating by the roughest torturer alive, you can brave gunshots flying by your head every other day and most of all you can stand up and face an entire Alliance Army with the odds against you and still survive. Yet, why? Why does little Inara Serra scare the living hell out of you?" tears almost spilled down her cheek.

Mal felt a sickness rising in his stomach. Her words, although somewhat cruel, were the truth. And the pain in her voice was more than he wanted to take. "Inara" he began to take another step forward but decided against it. Her face tensed with hurt at seeing him forbid himself from coming closer to her. Her built up tears began to spill freely. "You scare me more than anything I've ever been through. More than Niska, more than my job and so much more than Serenity Valley. You want the truth Inara?" he asked and continued without her approval. "I've lost a lot in my life. My parents, an entire platoon, friends… Wash, and even an ear. If I were to give into the cloudiness you fill my head with, I would just lose you too."

"Mal, I-" she began, shocked.

"Every time you bring a client on board... Every time you fly off in your shuttle and see 'em..." He paused as he swallowed the emotion in his throat. "Every time I would lose you. I may be strong enough to face Niska, death and the Alliance but I don't think I could survive losing you everyday." he turned and walked quickly out the shuttle door. Once the door sealed behind him Inara fell to the floor in a heap of sadness.

Mal stood listening to the sobs from the other side of the shuttle door. "You want the truth 'Nara?" he said wiping a tear from his cheek. "You're worth losin' everyday." Turning he walked away from the door, away from Inara and towards the mess hall to retrieve a much needed cup of coffee.

TBC