Author's Note: Aiya!
Where the hell have I been?
I dunno.
But Shigure's back.
And ready.
x
I have naughty dreams about Tohru.
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I had a dream where once, she was on a horse.
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And she masturbated everytime someone said 'Justin Timberlake'.
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Hiro put out his own CD.
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It's called, "Hoes Got Nothing On This Hot Piece of Danish."
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Did you know that I, Souma Shigure, created sex?
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And everyone laid eggs before I created it?
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Hahaha.
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"Shigure, you didn't create sex."
"Yes I did."
"No, Christopher Columbus created sex."
"Curse you Christopher Columbus!"
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Kisa came over because she forgot her backpack.
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I seriously thought she was a piece of shit.
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So I scooped her up with a pooper scooper.
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"SHIGURAY HOLY SHIET Y DA HELL U SCUUPING MEH UP W/ A PUPPER SCUUPER?"
"Because, talking chunk of poo, I don't want any poo on my lawn."
"By the way, how did you know my name?"
0o
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Then I threw it in the garbage after I lit it on fire.
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I wonder where Kisa is.
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GASPE!
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She must be having naughty dreams about me!
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That's hot.
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Really hot.
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I got my first role in a movie.
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It was in the movie When a Stranger Calls.
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Guess who I was?
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The babysitter.
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I had to get a whole sex change for the part.
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But it was worth it.
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And I humped myself in my dressing room.
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Because, I was a girl.
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A hot girl.
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hullz yeah.
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This morning I put a chocolate chip on the middle of my two pancakes.
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Then.
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I put it beside each other.
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So it looked like a nice pair of...
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Boobs.
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"Shigure, you need to go to church."
"Shut up Hatori, I'm not the one who watches Hippo Porn!"
"Shhh! That's our dirty secret!"
"I like cheese."
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I'm actually interested in Hippo Porn now.
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It can resemble itself to be pretty hot stuff.
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Mmm, yes.
x