THE NEXT MORNING
"How was I supposed to know that those marshmallows were Stalchilden!"
"Maybe the childish screams gave it away."
"They weren't screaming!"
"Then how come your head exploded?"
"Multiple reasons..."
"Hmm? Name 1."
"The stalchildren were screaming too loud."
"But didn't you just say that they weren't screaming?"
"Look, it was in the past, forget. FORGET!"
During this conversation, Malon and Saria were having a fight to the death over Link, even though Link was hot for Zelda
"You die Malon!"
"I thought you hated Link!"
"Nope. Now I wil kill you!"
"With what?"
"This deku stick and hero's shield!"
"Oh dammi-"
Before she could finish, a goron jumped out of the sky and ate Malon
"Whoopee! No competition! 'Cept Zelda..and Navi..."
"Did that Goron just eat Malon?" asked Link
"Yep!" said Navi grinning
"Hey, now it's chasing a dragon with no feet...STOP!"
Link killed the Goron with his dinky-kokiri sword and the dragon stopped there and stared at Link and bit his head off.
"FRED!" Navi yelled
"um..."
"HEAL LINK!"
"damn."
"NOW YOU ARSEHOLE!"
"fine."
Link, with his newly healed head, ran down the mountain side untill he found Dodongo cavern.
"This place is spooky..." Saria said innocently
"It's okay..I'm he- HOLY CRAP IT'S A BAT!" Screamed Link while Saria stared in disgust
"WWWWHHHHOOOO GGGGOOOOOEEEEEESSSSSS TTTTTTHHHHHHEEEEEERRRRREEEEE" a massive voice called out
"Um...just a couple of Dodongos...living in our cavern...heh-heh" said Link
"LLLLLEEEEEETTTTTT MMMMMEEEEEE SSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE YYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUU!"
"No."
"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAMMMMMMMMMM YYYYYYYOOOOUUUUURRRRR KKKKKIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!"
"Um...sorry your majesty...but we're hiding from...Gorons?"
"TTTTTHHHHHHEEEEEYYYYY'RRRREEEEEEE HHHHHHEEEEEERRRRRREEEEEEE!"
"Umm...Yes?"
"SODIERS! ATTACK THE GORONS!"
Link walked up to the King Dodongo.
"Hi there...Ummm...creepy dragon guy?"
"YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS?"
"I'm link...and i'll help you kill the gorons... in return ... I want that red rock..."
"OOOOOKKKKKKK!"
"So, I can order your army..?"
"IIIIIINNNNNDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDD."
"Sweet. MEN! GO KILL THE GORONS!"
"SIR YES SIR!"
So all the gorons were killed by the dodongos...except for the Goron leader, Darunia. Link, being irritated to an extreme killed Darunia in one swift movement with his sword."
"GGGGGOOOOOOOODDDDD JJJOOOOOOBBBBBBB!"
"No offense, but can you talk quieter?"
"NNNNNNOOOOOO. BBBUUUUTTT III CCCCAAAANNNN GGGGIIIVVVEEEE YYYYOOOOUUUU TTTHHHEEESSSEEE."
DA-NA-NA-NA
You got the Goron's ruby and Bigdragon sword!
"This...swrod...i-is heavy..."
"I'll carry it." said Saria, lifting the sword with realitive ease.
"Ok team, now time to get one more sto-"
before he could finish, a rock came and Landed on Link's head, causing it to explode.