A/N: I did include lyrics into this chapter, but it is not a song fic. There is a party, parties have music, thus some lyrics are thrown in. Not all of the lyrics of songs are included because they aren't all important. Only some of the included lyrics of the first song are important. None of the second song's are important, but the song is here in its entirety because while the lyrics aren't important, the complete lyrics are included because Dana has thoughts occurring throughout the song (it's to keep tabs really). The third song, the lyrics are important. You might question: isn't she always thinking? My response: No. Haven't you ever sunk into a moment? Into a comfort? Into a feeling? Keep all of this in mind. And, yes, all three songs were necessary. You can probably figure out their individual importance. If not, all will be revealed in due time.
That being said, once you reach the party part here is your optional play list if you have it: 1.) "Please, Please, Please" by Shout Out Louds; 2.) "Son's Gonna Rise" by Citizen Cope; 3.) "One Fine Day", Natalie Merchant's version.
Dana's POV:
I don't know how I was talked into going to the party tonight. I never really wanted to go. The only reason I was going to go if Sam was here was because he wanted to catch up with a lot of people, most of who will probably be there, so it made sense. So, since Sam isn't coming I wasn't going to have to go, that was until I saw Logan.
Actually, oddly, I didn't see Logan yesterday after I ran into him outside the guidance counselor's office. It's not like we had plans, or that I ever really have plans with Logan, but somehow we do usually end up hanging out after school is over, doing homework or playing basketball getting in extra practice. Okay, so there is the occasional movie or meal, but he's a friend and I go to movies with friends all the time and I do have to eat. There's nothing un-friend like about it.
Anyway, I didn't see Logan again until lunch today. I don't even know how he managed to convince me to go to this stupid party. Well, that's not exactly true. You could say he challenged me and I do not back down from a challenge, which unfortunately he knows.
So, I was in line buying lunch and he came up right by me. I mean he was really close and I started to try and remember if he had always invaded my space so much, but he distracted me.
He asked (while I swear he was practically on top of me), "Going to the party tonight Cruz?"
"No," I replied as I quickly moved away walking toward our usual table. I don't mean mine and Logan's usual table, I mean he sits there too, but all of us do, the entire gang (Zoey, Nicole, Chase, Michael sometimes Quinn and/or Dustin). It's not like the two of us, just me and him, have a usual table together just the two of us, it's not like that.
He follows me of course because leaving me be would just be too easy. He asks, "Why not? It is a party to celebrate our wins."
"The fact that we won our first two games is an excuse to have the party, it's not actually for us," I argued back as I sat down at our group's usual table, but no one else was there yet.
He sat down across from me and continued to argue with me, "How wrong you are. You're forgetting that people don't need a reason to have a party." He smirking at me, he thinks he's cleaver. I scoffed, but I didn't retort. Yeah, okay, so maybe he did have a valid point. He continues, "So why aren't you going? I heard earlier this week when Sammy boy was going to be here that you were going and now that he's not, you're not going. I never thought you were the type of girl to who couldn't do anything without her boyfriend. Thought you were better than that Cruz."
He is such a jerk! As if he actually knows me. The little voice in my head that I hate listening too says "He's right", which is exactly why I hate listening to it. I swear it always sides with him. I reply angrily, "Who said that that's why I'm not going? And how did you know about Sam? Because I'm pretty sure I didn't tell you."
"First, Zoey told me that Sammy isn't coming anymore. She was over yesterday and she was talkative," he said kind of mechanically. Then he changed, something changed. He seems to be very pleased with himself when he says, "Your actions make it obvious that the absence of Sam is why you're not going. And I have to say I'm disappointed in you. Never thought you'd be that girl, but hey people surprise you." That last part about people surprising you, he was looking right at me, he was always looking at me because he was talking to me, but in that last part, it was weird, he didn't blink. And he's smiling and had this look like he knew something, something secret, something he wasn't going to tell. He didn't say anything else, he left right after those oddly intense words.
I can't let him be right. So, now I'm going to the party. I'm waiting for Zoey to come pick me up and go. She better get here soon too because I'm roasting. It's almost ten o'clock at night and I'm only in a denim mini skirt and red halter top, but it's still so hot out here that I'm burning up. I regret not wearing my hair up or bringing something to do it with now, but I wasn't about to bring a purse to a party. I keep everything I need in my pockets, it's safer given where I'm unfortunately headed.
We get to the party and at least the air conditioner is on, but with all the people it was still too hot. After about twenty minutes there, after running into and briefly catching up with a few still sober people I realize once again why I hate parties like these. Everyone's drinking or smoking something, which I don't really do. I don't have some super moral reason for not drinking or smoking, I just don't because I've found that if I do I don't play as well. I know a lot of athletes drink and/or smoke and maybe that's okay for them, but my body does not respond well to it, so I don't.
I'm against the wall of what I think is a living room with all the furniture moved out. There are a group of girls around me who haven't yet, but are planning to have a few too many. I don't really know what they're talking about, I haven't been listening. Two of the five girls leave and the space in the circle is quickly filled by Logan. Of course the space was right next to me.
He didn't even acknowledge the other girls there he just shouted to me over the blaring music, "I knew that'd get you here."
"And why do you want me here? Torture?" I yelled back barely able to hear myself.
"You need to have more fun," he yelled smiling and surprising me. Why does he care? And since when do I not have fun?
The song changed to one that I actually like. It's a few years old, "Please, Please, Please" by Shout Out Louds. He yells to me, "Dance with me."
Long time ago
The times we had were so and so
Dance with me? Does he not remember what happened the last time I danced with him in eighth grade? And why does he want to dance with me? Whatever his angle is, whatever it is he's trying to get, I'm not going to let him. "After what happened last time, I'll pass," I yell back.
It was the worst day of your life
"Come on I know you like this song," he quickly yells back.
So I called your home your so-called father was on the phone
He wasn't easy to ignore
How does he know? It's not like I've ever told him. Well, I simply have to know, "I do?" I question.
But we're all happy cause the streets they're always there for us
And it's quite scary when you wake up in the same old clubs
"You were humming it for like a year," He yells back instantly. I can't believe he noticed.
It's getting darker and I know this time wasn't meant for us
"Dance with me," He extends his hand, "Please, please, please," he playfully pleads with that smile.
So won't you please please please come back to me
And I took his hand. I don't know why I gave in.
He leads me into the crowd of people dancing in the center of the room. It's dark, hot, and smoky in here. He twirls me, smooth move. Then he surprised me again, he's dancing like an idiot, absolutely horrible. It seems to be deliberate. Running man, how cheesy. But I can't help but smile and laugh and do the same. Normally, I'm not so willing to completely embarrass myself, but I don't know…I'm actually having a lot of fun…dancing stupidly with Logan.
Come back to me
Please please please
Please please please
Of course everything ends. And what came on next was another song that's a few years old. I don't remember the name.
We had stopped dancing, he's near me. He looks at me and says the magic words to make me stay, "If you can't dance to this type of song I understand, we can stop." Worst part is, he knew it would work and I knew what he was doing and I let him succeed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I began moving to the music, letting him know I was staying. We weren't dancing purposefully stupid this time, it was normal, to the beat.
Rollin' down a highway
Like a rocket
This song's different though, I don't know how to describe it. It's different. We're different.
God I'm headed to town now
Can't stop it
Mainly my hips are just moving to the beat, and my whole upper body.
With the wheels in my hand
As I stand
On the floor
Of the board
Of this car
On the road
He's not too bad.
Got this woman in the back seat
She my wifey
It's too crowed in here. We keep getting pushed closer and closer together.
In the middle of delivery
Man she saves me
My eyes have looked...everywhere. His seemed to have been and are still on me.
She picked me up
When I was down
On the road
With the wind
And it blowed
He twirled me quickly again. Not as smooth though. I landed on his chest. My eyes locked with his. I backed away, but I didn't get far…too many people.
Well the son's gonna rise in a mile
In a mile you'll be feeling fine
In a mile you will see, after me
You'll be out of the dark
Yeah you'll get your shot
He continued to move perfectly with me, not taking my eyes from his, his from mine.
Yeah the son gonna rise in a mile
In a mile, you'll be feeling fine
In a mile you will see, after me
You'll be out of the dark
Yeah you'll get your shot yeah
This song's…hotter, that's how it's different. That's the only way to describe it…hot, steamy-ness to it. I ripped my eyes away from his, it was…I should get away from him.
Rollin' down a highway
Like a rocket
God I'm headed to town now
Can't stop it
With the wheels in my hand
As I stand
On the floor
Of the board
Of this car
On the road
A girl tried to cut in, he put his hands on me, on my hips, and pulled me closer.
Got this woman in the back seat
She my wifey
In the middle of delivery
Man she saves me
She picked me up
When I was down
On the road
With the wind
And it blowed
Another girl tried to cut in. Why doesn't he just dance with her? No, he had to pull me closer…at this point we can't get any closer.
Well the son's gonna rise in a mile
In a mile you'll be feeling fine
In a mile you will see, after me
You'll be out of the dark
Yeah you'll get your shot
It's too hot in here. It's not like were dancing really exhaustingly, I shouldn't be having this much trouble breathing.
Yeah the son gonna rise in a mile
In a mile, you'll be feeling fine
In a mile you will see, after me
You'll be out of the dark
Yeah you'll get your shot yeah
He spun me again, but only half way. I was wrong we could get closer, only it's my back that's closer to him. He spun me so my back was to him and pulled me so close to him. His hands are burning into my lower abdomen. He's swaying us to the music.
Rollin' down a highway
Like a rocket
God I'm headed to town now
Can't stop it
With the wheels in my hand
As I stand
On the floor
Of the board
Of this car
I closed my eyes. Here, now, this is just good, really good.
Well the son's gonna rise in a mile
In a mile you'll be feeling fine
In a mile you will see, after me
You'll be out of the dark
Yeah you'll get your shot
No, no, no, no, no I knew I should have left. This was a bad idea. I do not like being here with Logan. I do not like being here with Logan. Voice in my head I hate: "If you don't like it so much then why are you still in his arms, surrendering lead to him, with your eyes closed?" Damn it I hate that voice! I ripped myself away from him and turned back to face him and tried to continue dancing like it was nothing, because it had to be nothing, it was nothing.
Yeah the son gonna rise in a mile
In a mile, you'll be feeling fine
In a mile you will see, after me
You'll be out of the dark
Yeah you'll get your shot yeah
It was nothing. It was nothing. It was nothing. It was nothing. It was nothing.
Oh, thank God the end of the song. Now GET OUT FAST!
He gently grabbed my hand as the next song came on. Seriously, who is choosing this music? "One Fine Day", Natalie Merchant's version, who plays this at a party?
He's smiling and looking around curiously he says, "Odd song choice, but I can dance to this and I bet it's a dance you don't know, not yet. Come on I'll teach you."
Say NO, walk away, run away, just don't stay because I have a boyfriend and this is wrong. Voice in my head, "If Logan is just a friend then what's so wrong about it?" That's right, Logan is just a friend, we have only been dancing. The first dance was fun, and the second one…I was delirious because of the heat, it was not intense and I defiantly was not enjoying being that close to him. Now the song has changed, there's less people in here so it's not as hot, so why shouldn't I stay? I won't be delirious from the heat because it's not as hot and he's just a friend.
One fine day
You'll look at me
And then you'll know our love was
Meant to be
I took his, once again, outstretched hand and he held it, rested my other hand on his shoulder and his other hand went to my waist. He kept distance between us. I knew it was all in my head. Is this a waltz he's leading me in? I think it is. I can't believe Logan can waltz and it seems so can I, with his lead. I must be getting really tired because I really just want to close my eyes and rest my head on his chest, or his shoulder if I can reach it.
And one fine day
You're gonna want me
For your girl
Is it over already? Wow, it was a short song.
See stupid voice, I danced with Logan and it was perfectly innocent.
Some Killers song came on and he's still holding my hand. It might have been innocent but I shouldn't dance with him again, three times is enough, three times too many when I have a boyfriend who I love.
But he didn't ask me to dance again. The music seemed louder, he leaned in and said, "It was fun, but I've got to get back to campus. I've got an early morning tomorrow. If you've had enough fun for tonight and want to go too, do you want a ride?"
"Sure, thanks," I immediately replied because I never wanted to be there in the first place so naturally I wanted to leave. He didn't let go of my hand until we were all the way out of the house, through the hoards of people.
The house the party was at wasn't that far from campus, but since the ride back was silent, it felt like it took an eternity. I don't know how to describe tonight, but it was just different. A different that seems good for a minute then something brings Sam popping into my head and I feel bad, guilty. And there is no reason I should feel that way, I'm not doing, nor have I done anything wrong. It's not like I'm cheating on him, I'm just having a good time without him here, that must be why I feel guilty.
As we were walking back towards the dorms the silence was really getting to me, so I asked something that occurred to me, "What are you doing early on a Saturday morning?"
He had been looking at the ground, but I had to go and talk to him so now he's looking at me, "I like using the track when it's empty."
Surprising again, "You get up early on a Saturday morning to run?"
"What you don't believe me?" he says looking at me seriously, but with a small smile.
I do actually, I can tell he's not lying, "No, I believe you. Running really is the only thing worth getting up early for." And I'm serious too. Running is one of my favorite things to do. It relaxes me, clears my head, makes me feel free.
"Wanna join me?"
What? "Then the track wouldn't be empty." Why does he want me to come, or is he just being polite? But since when is Logan polite?
"But it's not like it would be crowded," he points out and continues, "Besides you like to run too and I can share…sometimes."
"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow," I said with a smile as I walked into my building.
"Seven, don't be late," he informs before the door to my building shut behind me.
Why did I agree to that? Probably just because I love to run…yeah, that's it.
So, the next morning I go meet Logan at the track and he was the one who was late. Although, I already expected that, he's never been very punctual. I started running even though he wasn't there. After I had made it around the track a couple of times he showed up and started running, nowhere near me.
See, nothing weird is going on. It was all in my head. He was not making plans to hang out with me, he was not flirting with me yesterday, he has not been inappropriately close (that has just been due to circumstances like all the people at the party pushing us closer together). This usually helps me clear my head more, I just need to concentrate, concentrate on running.
Right as I was finishing my forth mile I got this really bad cramp in my right calf. I hobbled over to the football field that's in the center of the track and sat down and as soon as I did Logan was there.
"Something wrong?" He asked like he was actually concerned. Why does he care? Though I guess it would have looked pretty strange to suddenly stop running and collapse on the grass.
"Just a cramp," I said as I started rubbing said cramping calf.
He started shaking his head and said, "Well, you're not going to get it to go away very fast doing that." I glared at him; he is so arrogant sometimes. Apparently now he knows everything. He moved closer to me, to my legs and said, "Here let me." I opened my mouth to tell him no, but his hands were already massaging my cramping calf and it did feel better. I hate it when he's right. I took my hands away and perched my upper body up on them as he kept massaging the cramp away.
After a few minutes he finally looked back up at me and asked, "Better?"
"Yeah, thanks," I said as he took is hands away and turned. He was just sitting, facing me, looking at me. Okay, now I'm thinking I was wrong again, there is something going on with him, because suddenly this feels…unnerving.
I am so tired of this I just have to say, "What? If I have something on my face will you just tell me already?"
He looked away, thank God. Is he blushing? Why would he be blushing? This is really getting weird. His behavior is starting to scare me, make me really nervous.
He looked back up at me and said, "No, there's nothing on your face, there's nothing wrong with you, you're perfect." Now he's really really scaring me. This isn't right. I have a feeling that if I just look away now everything will be alright, but my eyes aren't moving, they aren't leaving his.
Maybe I'm sick. My stomach doesn't feel very good all of a sudden, it's all…fluttery. And swallowing is…impossible. So, there must be something wrong with my stomach and my throat. And my leg is fine so I really need to leave because I should not be here. But I also seem to be frozen, completely immobile.
And faster than the speed of light his lips are suddenly on mine. My eyes widen in shock for half a second before instinctively fluttering shut. His fingers are gently caressing my jaw as his lips have caused me to completely stop thinking and suddenly I'm kissing him back, my hands and arms not moving from holding me up. As soon as I started kissing him back, which was probably literally only seconds after he started kissing me with those thought blocking lips, I thought I felt him smile, but I couldn't really tell because he stopped kissing me.
I instantly opened my eyes and immediately my brain turned back on and…Sam.
I want to know why he stopped…no I mean started; I want to know why he did it in the first place. I should look at him, but I can't look at him. He didn't give me any time to process anything he got up and was gone from the field, the track, in the blink of an eye.
Logan kissed me. Logan kissed me!
What the HELL is going on!
A/N: What the hell is going on? That's a question for Logan to answer, after all he is the one doing the wooing. That, of course, will be in the next chapter and I know this chapter was long so I'm going to try and start making the chapters shorter. Plus, I really want to get back to Dana's POV since I've kind of left you hanging on her complete reaction (yes I did just hint that things are not what they may seem).
I hope you enjoyed reading and please please please review.