Dear Everyody,

I'm so sorry. I know you can never explain something like this but I'll try...

If what you want seems impossible to obtain, that's when you know it's worth it. But when what you have seems impossible to retain, that's when you know it's over.

He was everything to me. We had shared so much. I had grown around him, and he had changed to fit me. Who knows who I'd be if I never met him.

If you're too afraid to move in case this feeling ends and you're scared to let someone leave the room, lest they are lost forever, and everything they say makes your heart melt into a pool of happiness and longing, you know you're in love.

He made me forget everyone else and wish that I could stay there with him forever, and never stop holding each other. When his arms encircled me it felt like our souls were merging, our lives inextricably linked together and tied eternally more closely with each passing day.

If everything seems right, and everything is perfect, and you're so in love it hurts, but you still can't stop feeling empty and hopeless, that's when you know it wasn't meant to be.

He had been my purpose. My life was devoted to his happiness. But love fades, just as he had faded.

I had killed him.

No deadly spells or poisons, no tragedy or murder. The world saw a young man who fell into a river by accident, because that was how it appeared.

Except to me.

I had killed his soul. My emptiness had slowly strangled it until it bled to death; its tears flowing like the river of love had once flown between our hearts.

I didn't mean it to be so. I would have given anything to love him. But it couldn't be.

My love, once plentiful, faded slowly, like the orchid he gave me, still sitting in my bedroom.

I lied to my heart. We argued, my soul and I, the desperate fight between truth and perfection. I told myself I loved him still, assured him we were forever.

But I was wrong.

His soul had faded. I had run from my problems so many times. Now he swam from his.

As the icy water slipped into his lungs so his body was as heavy as his aching, dying heart, I know he thought of me. I could feel his presence. His spirit called my name, and I sat up straight, filled with sudden love.

I had been a fool. I loved him. I loved him!

They found him washed up on the beach. His lips were blue-grey like his closed eyes. He was smiling a little, and there was a soggy note in his pocket. A note "To the Angel I Left Behind".

"There's a place for us, my love. I'll be waiting there for you. I can feel you turn away from me now, but you'll be back. And then we'll be in a place where it will truly be forever."

I had lost the one boy who would ever truly love me for who I am. He was the one guy who ever truly knew and understood me. And now he is gone, and I will meet him again when my life leaves my body as it has with him.

But I can't wait that long for the promised forever. I can't wait for him. I have to go and find him.

So please don't cry or be sad, for me.

I want my funeral to be a celebration of my life, of what you loved about me and of what was. Not a mourning ceremony for what might have been.

And know that my pain has ended now. I'm gone to a place where I can find the only man I ever truly loved. Wherever I am now, I'm happy, and my spirit is watching over you.

This isn't a tragedy, and it's not sad. You'll see me again, and I am with him, so everything is the best it could be. Please think of how happy I am, and smile for me.

I'm taking the potion now, and I can feel my breathing getting difficult and my heart beating slower. But my soul has never felt more alive. Death isn't the end, not for me. Maybe life as we know it is just preparation time, learning to be in the paradise that comes next. I like to believe that. And you know me. I'm a fast learner. I'm ready, just as he was.

So goodbye to you all. I love you vey much but I guess I love myself and him a little bit more, because this is for us. I'm crying but not in sadness. I hope you see the smile I have on my face when you find me.

All I feel is eager anticipation for my eternal bliss with my lover, my partner in life and death.

Remember me fondly, as I will do the same for you.

Infinite love and apologies,

Hermione.