A/N: I am so incredibly sorry it took me so long to update. The operation for my wisdom teeth didn't go so well and neither has my recovery. I'm getting better, slowly, but I will be fine.
Thank you so much for all the fantastic reviews! If you submitted one on Friday the 7th or after I apologize for not replying as I normally would. I really do appreciate everyone's comments and I'm sorry for not personally thanking some of you. Now that I'm finally feeling a bit better I decided to put time into updating instead of finally responding because I figured you guys might like that better or at least I hope so.
After I let her go, I went to my second class of the day. I was kind of in a trance for those first few classes. I kept telling myself I did the right thing, I had to let her go, she needed to go Despite the mantra of "I made the right decision" playing in my head the thought of "what if she doesn't come back?" still managed to taunt me.
I come out of my mantra/anti-mantra daze in between every class to check my phone for voice mail or missed calls.
When my forth class of the day was over it was time for lunch. I checked my phone again, no messages, no calls. She must be getting there about now. I guess she didn't decide to tell my pilot to turn around mid trip; she's actually going through with seeing him. I know that that's what I told her to do and what I know she needs to do, but I guess I also hoped that she wouldn't need to. In the end I'll be happy if she realizes she loves me now matter how it happens, but I wish she didn't need to see him to know she loves me. But then maybe she needs to see him because she doesn't love me. No. I have got to stop thinking about this. She's gone and I can't change anything now. I made the right decision.
It's a little chilly out. The air is misty and the sky is a cool grey. I hope there isn't a storm in the area, who knows what that could do to flying conditions.
I didn't want to be interrogated by the gang about Dana, or me, or anything so I decided to skip lunch with them and hide out in my room.
My room turned out not to be empty, but not in the way I kind of expected. I knew that Chase and Zoey might potentially be making out in there, but then I would leave unnoticed and hide somewhere else. They were the two that were there but they weren't making out, they were just sitting on the couch without the TV on or anything, it was weird. Since they weren't in a make out frenzy though, upon entering the room, I was instantly caught.
"Hi," I said like everything was normal and hoping they wouldn't ask any questions because I don't really have any answers right now.
"Hey," they said in unison and not too enthusiastically, actually they look kind of depressed.
Zoey got up and came over to me as I was heading to my desk. "Logan this note was left for you under the door," she said holding the small paper out to me.
It must be the note Dana was talking about. I forgot that it would be here waiting for me, reminding me. I took the note from Zoey and opened it. I didn't really want to open it, to hear her voice saying it again, for her uncertainty to be so clear, but I opened it anyway.
I'm not sure. I'm sorry.
And that was it. She didn't have my name on it or hers, just the plain truth that she doesn't know what's going to happen, and really, neither do I.
Wait. Neither of our names are on this how did Chase and Zoey even know it was for me? Have they talked to Dana? Do they know something I don't?
"How did you know the note was for me?" I asked in the least accusatory tone I could manage.
"Well," Zoey began s she started making her way back to the couch next to Chase, "No one's seen you since last night and we knew you went to see her and then this morning she was gone. I guess, with everything lately, it just made sense."
So they don't know anything. I keep deluding myself into thinking that everything's going to be okay, but every hope always seems to be dashed. She actually might not come back to me. And I was stupidly so sure that she would when I let her go.
I sank down into a chair across from the happy couple.
Zoey was hesitant, but she managed to say, "So she's…um…she's with…"
"Yeah, she went to see him," I finished for her.
"Sorry man," Chase said sympathetically.
"I let her go," I said out loud, but not really intending to. I just can't believe I let her go. Why was I so sure she'd come back?
"She'll come back," Zoey declared confidently.
"Really?" I questioned because I'm becoming less and less sure by the second.
"Absolutely," Chase confirmed.
"You let her go because you love her?" Zoey asked and I nodded. "She'll come back because she loves you," which is what I hope, but I don't know anymore. What if all the love I thought was there wasn't?
I decided to ask the hard question, "How do you know she loves me?"
Silence. They have no answers. Of course they don't, neither do I. I thought I feel it when she kisses me, but maybe not because what other proof is there?
"I don't know," Zoey finally said, "but, I guess, I just don't know how to…describe it. Something about her comes alive when she's with you…or when we're talking about you…and she loves you…I just know she does."
"I hope so," I don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't come back to me. She's THE ONE for me; I know it, so how am I supposed to live my life without her?
Okay, I've got tot stop thinking about all of this before I drive myself insane. I made the right decision. Luckily it's time for class again which should offer a nice distraction.
I waited outside our room to give Chase and Zoey a moment for a private goodbye before me and Zoey headed to English class. Or is it Zoey and I? I should really start paying attention more.
Zoey, thankfully didn't ask any more about me and Dana, she just let us walk in silence, in thoughts.
She loves me. She loves me. I just have to remember she loves me. I was positive of that when I let her go. She'll come back to me, she has to. I made the right decision.
I was sitting at my desk, trying to convince myself that she's coming back when the bell rang and Mr. Jensen disturbed me from my thoughts.
"Today, we continue our review of Shakespeare," cue groans fro the class and he continued, "So, Romeo and Juliet. Someone pick a line and form an argument. Remember you need support for your claims so don't just throw anything out there."
Zoey had her hand in the air while the other flipped through her book and everyone else just kind of sat there like he didn't just ask us to do something.
"Yes Ms. Brooks?" Mr. Jensen said expectantly.
"For never was a story of more woe than this or Juliet and her Romeo," Zoey read from her book.
"Ah, the last two lines; and your argument is?" Mr. Jensen prompted.
"It's not a sad story," Zoey said seriously, but man, I must be out of it because she couldn't of actually said that about Romeo and Juliet.
Mr. Jensen chuckled and said, "That's a bold argument since this is and has always been considered one of Shakespeare's tragedies. So, are you arguing that it fits into his comedies or history category?"
"No," she said simply.
"Then please tell us what it is Miss Brooks," Mr. Jensen said with a bit of eagerness.
"It's a love story with a relatively happy ending," which spurred murmurs form the class so Zoey continued louder, "Yes, it would have been happier if they got to live, but in life they couldn't be together, in death they were forever." Nothing, no one, especially Mr. Jensen was convinced. Zoey continued, "'Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while,' as said by Westley in William Goldman's The Princess Bride. Only Romeo and Juliet didn't have to wait. They're families would have separated them; they would have lived miserable lives away from each other. Maybe I'm being a hopeless romantic or naïve or too religious, but I don't believe true love ends because of death. In life they couldn't be together, their love would have been crushed, but in death it lives on forever. It wasn't the happiest ending, but it was a happy ending because they were together forever."
Mr. Jensen's mouth curled into a small smile, "Well Miss Brooks, you just made an argument that was decently structured, passionate, had very nice use of an outside source, had a very bold thesis, and was reasonably convincing. If you work at it a bit more I think you could have a pretty good topic for your mid term. More support, more elaboration, less generalities and I think you'll do very well." He scanned the room, the un-raised hands, and asked, "Okay, whose next?"
I stopped paying attention after that. I let her go and now I have this bad feeling like I'm going to know how it feels to live without true love. I made the right decision. I know she's the true love of my life, but what if she doesn't choose me? What if she doesn't realize I'm the true love of her life? And she went to Sam and she's still with Sam and I think that there's an increasingly good chance that I'm going to know what it feels like to spend my life without the true love of my life. To live apart from her, to ache for her, to miss her always, to want her always, to see her only in my dreams, only in my memory. I feel like I'm losing her, in this life at least, for if Zoey is right I'll at least be able to be with her later, if true love is reunited after death. If she doesn't come back to me I guess I'll just have to wait until then.
I made the right decision.
I went to my next class and sat through it in a trance trying to convince myself that just because she's spending some time with him doesn't mean she won't come back. I made the right decision, the right decision for her. She needed to go and I need her to be sure about us, but now I really need her to come back. I don't think I can wait any longer or I'm going to completely lose my mind.
Zoey and Chase met me right outside my class. They're concerned, but thankfully silently so.
As soon as I got outside (where I have a signal, which I didn't have in the classroom or hall) I checked my phone. YES! Two voice mails.
I listened to the first one.
"Hi," said Dana's voice. YES! "Umm…I'm on my way back and…can you just meet me when I get back? I know you've…you've been perfect and I shouldn't be asking anything else of you, but I need to see you when I get back, as soon as I get back. Umm…I just...Whoa! Hey we seem to be going down pretty fast, maybe we're back let me check, hold on…" HELL YES! She wants to see me hopefully that's a good thing, it sounds like a good thing.
"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," What the hell? That sounded like Gavin.
"What?" I heard Dana's voice say.
"Captain Jack says we're going down. Hold on and whether or not you believe in prayer now would be an excellent time to start praying," replied Gavin. What? This has to be some sick joke this can't be serious. But then the line went dead, the message ended.
I dropped my phone as I realized Dana's on a plane that's going down. I made the right decision, but I really wish I didn't. Now Dana's on a plane that's going down or went down and…she's not with me…she's not going to be with me…and the world…my world just…fell apart.
A/N: So was I foreshadowing in this chapter or was I fake foreshadowing? You'll find out in the next chapter which is the last chapter and following it comes the epilogue. I'm unsure of the length of each at this point. I hope to update in a shorter amount of time than this one took me, but I want to try something that might get rather complicated to accomplish and therefore might take a bit to do, but I truly don't want to leave anyone hanging much longer.
I don't normally respond to anonymous reviews, but one of the anonymous reviewers brought up a good point. Ashley asked if Dana was just going to get over Sam just like that? Well, if she did what does that tell you? It's important and it can be determined by piecing together all of the clues. I've actually been hinting at it since the very very beginning.
Due to the after effects of my surgery (a huge yellow bruise and swelling still in my face) I'm still stuck at home and I have been for a while now. I'm getting pretty bored and I'll probably be on AIM (as Hopelessly 86) for a while this weekend if anyone else is also bored and wants to talk I'm up for any conversation. Also, just a reminder, I'm still offering story help, whether it be with just editing or actual ideas, for the time being.
Thank you for reading and reviews really motivate me so PLEASE REVIEW!