"Say it, Naruto."
"No."
"Why not?"
"..."
"Please, Naruto."
"I'm not going to."
"Say it!"
"No, goddamn it!"
"Why is it so fucking hard?"
I wasn't going to continue this conversation any longer, so I lurched to a standing position and stalked away. He followed hastily and angrily at that.
"Just say it!
"No, Sasuke!"
"Why is it so hard!"
I slapped him harshly. The anger was seeping into my eyes, making them a blood red color. Kyuubi wasn't one to be messed with, and oh, do I know this for a fact.
He stared at me as he put a hand over his red cheek. He had never seen Kyuubi before or atleast this close. I pushed him to the ground, and I heard him let out a stifled yelp before I turned away and ran.
Running is so cowardly...
---
I stayed inside the entire week. Anyone who dared venture to my broken-down apartment, which was all I really had, was met with a rock to the head. Sakura, she being one I couldn't possibly even think of hurting, walked into my apartment and began running through it shouting my name. I hid in the shadows, curled up to my knees and crying.
Just go. Please go.
Kakaii-sensei actually found me at one point, and I had backed myself into a wall with a kunai in my trembling hand. He said nothing, just stared at me with his only visible eye with sincerity and a hint of pity. I tossed it at him, and it hit his face, but it was too much of a toss instead of an actually aimed shot, and the metal hit his face with a slapping noise. There was no blood, there was no pain. There was only sadness, in both of us. I crouched in the corner, and seeing that he had not moved since he entered my apartment, I fell back on my ass and began to cry. He stepped forward and I withheld a flinch. He knelt down and put a calloused hand under my chin, lifting my head for eye-contact. My tears made him blurry.
"...Naruto, Sasuke is only trying."
"...Trying? Does he know nothing about me?"
"...Of course...If he knew, think of what would happen. Look at you now. If he knew, you'd be atleast a thousand times worst, maybe millions. Think, Naruto"
I did think...Sasuke is all I have...
...I don't want to lose that...Not that...
Even more tears streamed down my cheeks, and I let out a loud sob.
"Kakaii-sensei..."
Calling out to him, he slowly pulled me into his arms for a soft embrace as I cried. I hadn't cried like this since I was just a boy. And back then, no one was there with arms wide open. No one was there to comfort, and no one was there to cry with me. There were only people who screamed at me for being alive, people who hit me on a daily basis, and the people who did both.
Who says that isn't going to happen again?
Gathering myself after a moment, I slid from his arms to bash my head against the cold plaster wall of my crude living space.
"...Naruto...Are you going to be okay?"
"...Maybe..."
"Do you want me to-?"
"Nothing else, Kakaii-sensei. You've done too much for me anyway"
And with that, he hesitated, eyeing me carefully.
"...I'll be fine. I've gone through this before, I can do it again."
"...If you say so, Naruto...I hope you get better before training next week."
"...I'll try, Kakashi..."
He jumped from the window before I could say anymore. I spent the rest of the day banging my head against the plaster until I got a severe bruise and I passed out from exhaustion.
---
The day after Kakashi comforted me, I had gone outside. The people looked the same, they sounded the same. Yet I got this feeling that they were acting.
Then again, they always were.
They all know what I really am.
Quiet places of nature have a special space in my heart, and whenever I see an open field, I must respect nature and enjoy it. Sitting on the hill that overlooked Konoha, I wanted to cry so badly. Crying never solves anything, but oh god, it makes me so happy. Crying may seem childish and pointless, but it is the only thing I can do.
This time, I withheld the tears. Something just didn't feel right about today.
"...Dobe..."
I flinched so violently, I think it scared Sasuke. Huddling myself into my arms, trying to get as far into them as I could, I hid my face in my knees.
I can't lose you.
"Naruto...Are you okay?"
"..."
"...So now you're going to give me the silent treatment. I see how it is-"
"SHUT UP!"
I exploded as I turned to him, the tears finally escaping their tear ducts. He looked at me with so much surprise; I thought his eyebrows would rise all the way to the sky. Huddling myself together again, I swallowed my sorrows. Or atleast attempted to swallow them.
He sat beside me, slowly approaching me, afraid I might eat him if he got too close. I looked over with blurry eyes to watch him twiddle his thumbs.
"Dobe...I'm only asking for you..."
"...For me..."
"...I'm just asking if you like me or not..."
"...If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be talking to you because you'd be DEAD."
"...That's not what I meant..."
"...I know..."
"...Is there no simple answer?"
I turned to him slowly, my eyes wide.
"...A simple answer! I know you're used to girls spelling it out to you, but I'm not like them! And I'm certainly not a girl!"
"I don't care about them, and I know you aren't a girl stupid! I just...Didn't want this to hurt you so bad..."
"...You can't expect someone like me, who hasn't had anyone to even talk to for 13 years, to suddenly be energetic about having someone by their side. I don't know what to think, what to do, or even what to say! WHAT DO YOU WANT SASUKE?"
"It doesn't need to be this challenging, Naruto! You can think whatever you want, do whatever you do, and say 'I love you, Sasuke!'"
Silence reigned over our little patch of green, and we were wondering who would continue this conversation. Sasuke's shoulders slouched in comfort.
"Naruto...Why won't you say that?"
"...Because...When you've been alone for such a long time...And you find the something that will keep you going, you'll do everything you can to keep it by your side."
He looked over at me for a moment slowly. I huddled closer to my knees, hugging them.
"...I found my something...I'm not willing to lose you over a little fling, Sasuke!"
Sasuke was on me so fast, I couldn't even blink.
"This isn't a fling! How can you say that! I've been trying for months. Would someone try for months and months to have a one-night fling!"
I shook my head hesitantly. Searching through his pocket, he pulled out trash, pencils, and pocket lint. I watched him with curiosity.
"...What are you looking for, Sasuke?"
"Something to show you I'm not kidding..."
Pulling out a piece of bright blue string, he grabbed my hand and tied it to my right finger. I looked at him, and I hadn't realized I was trembling.
"...Say you love me."
I looked at him with deeply confused cerulean eyes. My mouth stayed shut, but his charcoal eyes were burning holes into my skin. I stuttered, and he sat closer to me, his hands on either side of my hips, leaning in closer.
"...I...I can't..."
"Why not, Naruto?"
"If I do...Then we can't be friends anymore."
"...But if you say it, then we'll be even better friends."
"...But if it doesn't work out, what will I do? If I don't have you, then I don't have anything!"
He leaned in to kiss me, but I leaned away. But I still couldn't get away as he tugged on my collar forcefully, pulling my face toward his. He kissed my cheek with chaste, not wanting to force himself on my mouth until I was ready. I could feel the tears coming.
He grabbed my hand again and lifted up the string, kissing my finger.
"Marry me."
I had never felt so surprised in my life. I grabbed my chest with my free hand so my heart wouldn't beat itself through my ribcage and fly away.
"...Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"
"I'm not joking, Naruto."
"Yes you are. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
I couldn't help the tears now. They dripped from my chin as I continued to laugh.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Sasuke stared at me with so much pity; it made me want to cry even more. I hid my face in my knees and began to sob.
"...H-ha! Ha ha ha! ...Nngh...Ha!"
Sasuke slowly embraced me, holding me tightly. So much to cry for, but so little time to explain. It brought me to this state, it can do worst. If Sasuke is always with me, then there's not as much to worry about. The fan-girls will be forgotten, Sakura will forgive me, and with Sasuke, the villagers wouldn't dare lay a hand on me ever again less face the wrath of the last Uchiha.
There is so much he can give me, but nothing to give him in return...
"...I love you, Naruto"
"I...Love...You...Too..."
"I love you Sasuke?"
"I...Love you...Sasuke."
The realization that I had finally given up our friendship stabbed my in the heart, turning the blade to form a giant hole. My chest lurched, and it made Sasuke stop.
"...Naruto...?"
"...My heart hurts..."
"...I see...Don't worry. It's fine. Ignore it."
"...But...I can't..."
He leaned down to place kisses on my chest, only inches from the actual organ deep inside. My heart jumped in happiness as I felt the hole sealing.
"...Feel better?"
I stayed silent, a quiet sob escaping.
"...Yeah..."
He leaned up close to my face quickly, scaring me, and making me fall onto my back. He loomed over me, a pale hand on my face. I swallowed with difficulty.
"...Ready to begin?"
He leaned in even closer, my bubble beyond violated. I panted in anxiety, fear, and unknown feeling. His lips were enticing, as they lightly touched my own in testing.
"...Yeah..."