A/N: I'm trying to stay as consistent with the series as possible, without subjecting the characters too much to the ludicrous personality changes seen in seasons 5 and 6. If it were up to me, Wanda would still be calling Cosmo "puddin'" and Cos would still be extremely overprotective and jealous. However, the basis of this story is nagging gone wrong, so I need Wanda to be just a teeny bit irritating to a slightly jerky and selfish Timmy, who's backed up by a fun-loving and stupid Cosmo. They'll learn a lesson the writers of this show ought to have figured out by now.

Eyes On Me

(title subject to change)

by Shimegami-chan

It was a typical Saturday in typical Dimmsdale, where the typical humans of the world were going about their weekendly business, and life as we know it, for the moment, was...well, typical.

In the Turner household, this monotonous routine was being met with protest by 10-year-old Timmy Turner, who genuinely felt that every weekend should be an adventure, and every moment should be siezed. Carpe diem, or whatever it was. Carpe wishem. "I'm so bored. Why am I so booooored on a Saturday afternoon?"

"Because all the good cartoons are over now? Make a wish!" Cosmo, Timmy's green-haired, slightly intelligently-impared godfather brandished his wand. "Something exciting! Like pudding!"

"I was thinking something a little more exciting than that."

Cosmo's eyes shone with elation. "Cake?"

"No, Cosmo." Timmy flopped backwards onto his pillow and stared blankly at the ceiling. "Something new. Something adventurous. Like...being pirates or ninjas or something. Pirate-ninjas."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, sport," Wanda, Cosmo's wife and partner, admonished gently. The pink-haired fairy recalled a time when Timmy would have been satisfied just playing pirates in his room with his godparents, but she had a sneaking suspicion that his plans for the day were more realistic and therefore ten times more dangerous. Timmy's hotheaded wishing had been landing all of them in a lot of trouble as of late, and Wanda knew a bad wish when she heard one - whether or not her husband and godchild heeded her advice or not.

Timmy sighed, closing his eyes. "How did I know you were going to say that?"

"Probably because you're starting to recognize things that could potentially get us killed?"

"Not what I was thinking." Timmy frowned.

"I'm just looking out for your best interests," Wanda chided in response. "Because I care about you, obviously."

"Yeah, but geez, Wanda, I wish you weren't such a nag."

This was, of course, the wrong thought to voice out loud, and Wanda called Timmy's attention to what he had done by gasping loudly. "But, Timmy--!"

Then, with a tortured look, she raised her wand and with a puff of pink smoke and a poof!, the wish was granted. The pink-haired fairy settled to the ground, her face unreadable, her hand falling lax to her side. Timmy stared wordlessly at his godfather, who blinked and replied with "Uh-oh. But you said 'I wish,' didn't you?"

"Well, yeah," the boy admitted slowly. "I didn't mean to actually wish for it, though, just think it."

"So why'd you say 'I wish' instead of just thinking? What happened to wishing for cake? Making Wanda un-naggy is more important than cake?" Cosmo looked dismayed. "How could you do that?"

"I was thinking out loud, that's all," Timmy said tiredly, "and you can un-do it just as easy, right?"

Wanda herself hadn't spoken, either in her own defense or even to comment on the situation. She was simply focusing on Timmy's face with a vacant stare, and hurriedly the boy rushed on, trying to defend himself. "I don't want to change Wanda. We already know what 'fun Wanda' is like. Remember that time she let me almost blow up the makeup factory? Or how about the time I wished that I would be ignored by everyone? Or the time I made everyone not care and I had to swim through the sewers fighting alligators to save you guys?" He left out the fact that Wanda had been the first to come to her senses that particular time, when his danger had become too great to ignore. Cosmo wouldn't remember a stupid detail like that, so he didn't have to worry about being called on it. "I didn't need to wish for 'fun Wanda'. Regular Wanda is fine with me."

"I enjoy having fun," the pink-haired fairy said tonelessly. "I will be whatever you wish for, then, Timmy."

Timmy choked on the oxygen he'd been calmly inhaling. "Good grief, what happened to her personality?"

Cosmo stared at his wand, frowning, a look of intense concentration upon his face. "I'm not so good at figuring things like this out without Wanda. Maybe she took away too much personality."

"Or maybe it was just all nag." The pink-hatted boy dismissed the notion with a wave of his hand. Wanda had probably been thinking about her saying she cared for Timmy, and probably accidentally removed that or some other part of her normal disposition. He opened his mouth to un-wish the wish...

"Hey!" Cosmo actually looked angry, taking Timmy by surprise. "That's not true! Maybe a bit true, but not all of it!"

The boy hastily sat up to face his godfather. "Oh, come on. You know she's pretty naggy, but really, I was kidding." Timmy grinned widely to ensure Cosmo understood the 'I-was-kidding' part.

The gesture, however, flew completely over Cosmo's head; he seemed to have entirely tuned out Timmy's previous statement. The fairy drew himself up, trying to look intimidating, and attempted to defend his near-catatonic wife. "And she wasn't like that when we got married, either! She only got neurotic after we got you as a godkid."

Timmy laughed, not immediately catching on to the remark. "I'm surprised you even know that word." He himself didn't, but he knew it had to be an insult of some sort.

"Wanda used to say it a lot." Cosmo looked at her. Her expression was blank, and didn't seem at all interested in the conversation, her attention riveted on the patterns sewn into the bedspread. "Wanda..."

"Wait a minute." Timmy abruptly got over his shock and levelled a glare at his godfather. "So you're blaming me for Wanda being so stuffy? You're the one who makes fun of her all the time!"

Cosmo bristled. "I do not!"

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

"Do so!"

"Donotdonotdonot!" The green-haired fairy scowled and grabbed his wife by her limp hand. Wanda pulled her attention away from the comforter and followed Cosmo's glare to Timmy and back again. "You wish her normal! Right now!"

"And what if I like this Wanda better?" Timmy yelled without thinking. "Maybe I want to keep her! Maybe I'd rather have her for a godmother!"

"Whatever you like, Timmy," Wanda said flatly.

"No, you can't!" His wife's despondent state was obviously beginning to distress Cosmo. "You don't deserve her! Come on, Wanda, we're going home!" He stuck his tongue out at the surprised child, who couldn't get out another word before the two fairies poofed away in a cloud of pink smoke.

In Fairy World, Cosmo appeared at the corner of Rock and Hardplace, his face drawn with momentary tiredness from teleporting them both alone. Wanda didn't even look at him, settling onto her feet on the ground and asking in monotone, "Where are we going?"

"Uh..." Cosmo frowned, and continued to float, having just realized that it would probably be a Bad Idea to bring the defenseless fairy to his mother's house. The couple had never actually established a home in Fairy World, instead moving their magical castle along with them each time they were given a new godchild. The Fairy Academy was where they lived between assignments, but Cosmo was suddenly unwilling to share his wife's company with anyone else. "We're going on a vacation. Yes! A vacation!" He tried hard to think about places the old Wanda would have liked to go. He could teach the new Wanda to be just like the old one, but without the concern for the well-being of others. Wanda liked...what did Wanda like?

Relaxing, he thought. Cosmo remembered Wanda enjoying quiet places like the beach. They had gone to an Earth beach for their honeymoon on her recommendation. "That's it! We can have a honeymoon!"

"That sounds exciting."

"You don't want to?" Dumbstruck, the green-haired fairy stared at his partner, somewhat shocked at her lifeless eyes. Something's really really wrong with her, he immediately realized, drawing the same conclusion Timmy had upon first glance.

"I don't care," Wanda replied, summing it up nicely.

But the old Wanda would! So all I have to do is make her care! "Let's go, then!" Cosmo grinned and took the female fairy by the hand, poofing them both to the same beach she'd shown him the day they were married. "Look, here we are! Do you like it?"

"I guess I should."

"Yes," he said truthfully. Wanda then smiled for the first time since the wish had taken effect. "Yay! You're happy again!"

The smile did not immediately fade, but she said plainly, "I wasn't unhappy. I simply didn't care."

"But now you do!"

"No, I don't."

"But you smiled!"

She did it again. "I should not smile, then."

"Yes! No!" Cosmo paused, thinking carefully about what she'd just said, and trying to decide if it was a double negative or not. "You should smile, because you like this place. We're going to put you back to normal without Timmy's help."

"How?"

"Er..." Cosmo, of course, had only briefly considered the fact that they didn't actually know what was wrong with Wanda yet. He thought she had only meant to take away her nagging, not all of her emotions. He suddenly wished he had asked Timmy what he thought before storming off. "Well, you're acting weird. Not like Wanda, but not like not-Wanda either. Definitely not like Anti-Wanda."

"Okay."

Cosmo had to admit that he didn't like having to do so much thinking. Not having Wanda or Timmy around to make the decisions was hard. "First, you should smile more. Especially at me! And care about me, but not be nagging about it. And you have to try to look..."

Wanda looked disinterested.

"...try to look not like that. Look happy to be here."

She focused her gaze on his green eyes, continuing the trend of speaking only in statements. Cosmo hadn't noticed. "Like this."

"Yeah!" he looked pleased. "It's working already! If we don't need Timmy to un-wish the wish, we can stay here forever!"

"Timmy is our godchild," Wanda reminded him tonelessly.

"So?"

She shrugged, and he realized too late that she'd been about to say something important, but the no-caring magic had prevented it from coming out. Oh well! Cosmo took Wanda's hand again and led her to the cliffside spot where they'd once watched the sun set. It was Wanda's favorite time of day, he clearly remembered, and she'd said proudly that this was the best spot on Earth to see the spectacle. They could hear the waves crashing against the rocks far below.

Cosmo sat down, pulling Wanda with him. "Look, the sun is setting."

The pink-haired fairy shrugged.

Once again that sense of urgency vied helplessly for his attention. Wanda is supposed to like this. "Pleeeeease like it! Please, Wanda?"

She assumed a smile, but even Cosmo knew it was only because she'd been told to. "Okay. I like it."

"Wanda..."

"What."

His eyes were welling up with tears. "I don't want you to hate everything. Why...?"

"I don't hate everything," she told him. "I just don't care. That's what you and Timmy wanted, isn't it?" It was the first time she'd actually responded with a counter-question.

"But that was because you were ruining our fun."

"And now I am not."

Cosmo turned away, disappointed. Even though what she was saying made perfect sense, it still upset him that it had to be one or the other. Wanda, meanwhile, directed her attention to the setting sun he had pointed out, and was watching it with feigned interest. After a moment he let go of her hand, and began using his fingers to count off the "pros" and "cons" of the new Wanda.

New Wanda doesn't nag and doesn't talk loudly. She only talks when I talk first, I think. She's pretty. Mama would probably like her because Mama could get her to leave me alone...maybe forever...but that would be a "con," right?

New Wanda makes me do all the thinking...she doesn't seem to like to float or use magic...she might listen to Mama...she does what people tell her to and that could be bad... He imagined Juandissimo commanding Wanda to "leeve zat Cosmo and come vith me!" and Wanda, frightfully inept at caring for herself, obeying. I don't want to take care of her. I want her to take care of me...and New Wanda doesn't care about me at all. She'd probably want to go with Juandissimo, I'm a bad husband for making her do this to herself...

If she didn't take away her feelings, she'd probably hate me now...

Cosmo didn't even notice that Wanda had risen and walked to the edge of the rock outcropping to peer down at the blue sea below. The surf was pushing white seafoam onto the jagged stones at the bottom of the cliff, creating a new design each time a wave crashed into the cove.

"I suppose this would be considered beautiful by human standards," she observed, leaning over.

Her words finally caught Cosmo's attention. "Hey!" Normally, he wouldn't have been concerned, but Wanda had been walking around instead of flying since they'd arrived, and her wand was nowhere to be seen. He poofed into the air just above where he'd been sitting. "Don't lean so far!"

She spun on her heel at the sound of his voice, and then gravity caught her in its pull, inviting her out to the open space just beyond the cliff's edge. In less than a split second, she was gone in a blur of pink and yellow.

Belatedly, Cosmo realized that he ought to have poofed directly over to her instead of calling out from where he was. "Wanda!" He hesitated a moment too long and teleported himself just above the water, thinking to catch her, but already having missed. The water still churned where she'd fallen. "Wanda! Wanda?" Panicking and conjuring up a pair of goggles and a swimsuit, the green-haired fairy dove into the sea as well, trying to spot Wanda's bright colours among the plants and stones. Had she fallen onto a rock? Did she simply sink?

She probably didn't care enough to try swimming, he thought, yelling her name noiselessly through a mouthful of seawater. "Wanda!"

There - a dot of candy-pink, sinking fast beyond his vision. Cosmo, congratulating himself on having the foresight to poof to her instead of swimming, caught his wife's arm and brought them both up to the surface, her clothes and hair dripping. Frantically he used magic to whisk the moisture away. "Are you okay? Wanda? Wanda!"

She blinked, once, twice. "Yes. I fell."

"Why didn't you do anything?" he exploded, brimming with righteous indigantion. "You could have drowned!"

"I don't see why it matters."

"Because I don't want you to die!" Cosmo burst into tears, throwing his arms around her. "I love you, Wanda! I want you to not...not..."

"Fall into the ocean without attempting to save myself?" she supplied.

"Yeah!" he howled, burying his face in her yellow shirt. "You scared me! Don't do dangerous things!"

"When I tried to stop you and Timmy from doing dangerous things, you called me a nag," Wanda pointed out logically. "This is why Timmy wished away my ability to care. I do not see why I should care about myself, but not you and Timmy."

"Then you have to care again! I understand why, so please go back to normal!" Cosmo wailed.

"I can't. The wish has to be un-wished," she said simply.

Cosmo sulked into his wife's shoulder. "But I'm mad at Timmy. I don't wanna go back."

"Okay," Wanda agreed, reassuming her blank stare.

"Agh! No, I want to go back now! Let's go back!"

Six minutes and forty-two seconds had passed by the time Cosmo and Wanda reappeared in Timmy's room, the former with his face tear-streaked, the latter still stubbornly indifferent. Cosmo practically threw himself at his godchild. "Timmy! We have to turn Wanda back to normal before she does something stupid!"

"That's a new one," Timmy remarked, putting down his copy of the latest Crimson Chin issue. He'd half-expected Wanda to return in a huff, dragging her husband by the ear.

"We went on our second honeymoon and Wanda didn't even care," Cosmo blubbered, clutching her hand. "She fell off a cliff and almost drowned! We have to make her care again!"

"She looks fine to me," the ten-year-old observed, still a little cross at Cosmo for the things he'd said before the fairies had run off. "Could just keep her away from cliffs from now on."

"But what if Juandissimo shows up? I don't want her taking care of him! I don't want my mother to send her away!"

"What?" Timmy asked, confused.

"I don't want her to die, Timmy! Un-wish the wish!"

"What do you think she's going to do? Stop caring about breathing?" Timmy retorted irritatedly. "What about my apology?"

Cosmo's vacant stare mirrored Wanda's. "What apology?"

"You said that she got neurotic because of me! I looked that up in the dictionary while you were gone, Cosmo!"

"I don't blame her!"

"Cosmo..." Wanda's quiet voice caught both of their attention enough to halt the fight. She didn't continue whatever she'd been about to say, though, instead directing her attention at the carpet.

We missed something else, Cosmo realized unhappily. "We need Wanda to tell us when we're going to do dumb things. I don't want it to be like this anymore."

Timmy scowled. "She acts like she's my mom or something."

"But she is. She's your godmother!" Cosmo looked pleased, being very confident that these two words were indeed synonyms. "That's what she's supposed to do, right?"

"I already have a mom, a real one. I don't need two of them messing up my fun."

Cosmo paused. "But Timmy, if she was like your real mom, wouldn't she be ignoring you instead of worrying about you?"

These words struck home, and Timmy nearly forgot how angry he'd been with Cosmo just seconds before. This wasn't about the two of them, it was about Wanda, who at the moment couldn't even express her own opinion. Who sincerely cared about whether or not he lived or died. "You're right...without her, we'd get ourselves into more trouble than we could ever get out of. I want the old Wanda back, even if she spoils our fun sometimes."

"Lesson learned, then?" Wanda murmured, startling them both.

"No! Don't forget to breathe!" Cosmo cried suddenly, latching onto her. "Inhale, exhale, repeat! Never forget to repeat!"

Wanda patted him on the back. "I'm breathing, puddin', don't worry."

A look of realization stole across Timmy's features. "You didn't grant my wish at all."

"Of course she did! She's back to normal!" Cosmo flung his arms around his wife. "I didn't even hear you make it, Timmy! Did you wish for telepathy and not tell me?"

"It takes two to make something like that happen," Wanda told her godchild with a gentle smile.

"The magic of my love brought Wanda back! Isn't that great, Timmy? But how did Wanda grant her half if you didn't say the wish? Are you not telling me something?"

"No," Timmy laughed, and decided it was better that way.

-fin

A/N: This is a companion piece. (Not a series or something to be sequeled...merely a set of two stories in which an element of a fairy is wished away.) Look for Wanda's part soon.