I sadly do not have a Beta Reader, so all mistakes are my own!
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any of it's characters!
Inhuman Part Two
Author: Maggie K. M.
Characters: Aiden Ford, Carson Beckett, Elizabeth Weir, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan, Zelenka
Pairings: Sheppard/Weir
Genres: General, Action & Adventure, Angst, Drama, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Rating: M
Warnings: Abuse, Language, Rape, Torture, Violence
Summary: Sheppard enters the event horizon after giving Elizabeth his usual boyish smile. She smiles back, not knowing that may be the last time she will see him smile.
Before reading any further, make sure you read Inhuman Part One!
Chapter Eight "Needing A Moment"
The screen went blank as Elizabeth pushed stop on the laptop. Her trembling hands reached up and wiped the tears away from her pale cheeks. She had mixed emotions weld up inside her, and felt as though she needed a minute to collect her thoughts and pull herself together before she could continue watching anymore of the footage. She had run so many scenarios through her mind earlier on what might have happened to John, but she never considered the possibility that it was his own team members that had afflicted so much pain on him. The mere thought of it caused more tears to stream down her face. She wasn't even sure if she could force herself to watch anymore, but she knew she had to. For John's sake, she had to. She needed to understand everything he had gone through if herself and Carson were going to be able to help him through it.
Her thoughts were interrupted as a pair of hands rested on her shoulders. With a startle, she spun her chair around slightly to find Dr. Carson Beckett looking down on her. He looked exhausted, but had a reassuring expression painted on his face. He gradually took a seat in one of the unoccupied chairs, and scooted himself next to her. "How long were you standing behind me?" she quivered out as she felt more tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Long enough to see what happened to John, lass," Carson softly replied as he reached a hand up and wiped away a few of her tears with his thumb.
"John?" she asked in one word, trying to hold back the sobs that were fighting to escape her.
"He's stable for now, but still in critical condition. There are still some injuries on his body that I didn't see inflicted on him in the video," he paused and swallowed, "We need to watch the rest of it so I can have a better understandin' on how he got these injuries," Carson choked out slightly, hoping Elizabeth hadn't heard the crack in his voice. His eyes had a glassy reflection to them, and he was struggling to hold back his own tears. He felt her tense at the idea of watching the rest of the video, and reached down to give her hand a slight squeeze to let her know that he was there for her. "Ye don't have to watch the rest of it alone," he said in almost a whisper.
She wanted to verbally thank him, but all she could manage was a nod of understanding and appreciation. She could see he was fighting back his own tears, and knew that he was doing it for her sake as well as his own. She sat in silence as Carson called over his radio, "Sergeant Bates, this is Dr. Beckett."
"This is Sergeant Bates. What can I do for you, Doc?" Bates responded.
"Ye are good to go on sendin' a search and rescue party through the gate to look for the rest of Major Sheppard's team. However, in light of what I have seen on the video coverage that was recovered, I want them all wearin' biohazard suits until further notice," Carson informed.
"Understood, Bates out!" Bates exclaimed through the radio, while Carson turned his attention back to the woman sitting next to him. Elizabeth felt Carson give her hand a gentle squeeze before reaching over and pushing play on the laptop. They both exhaled a long exhausting breath as they fixed their eyes on the screen and waited for the video footage to continue.
Chapter Nine "The Footage Continues"
Feeling so exhausted and in so much pain he almost didn't realize that she was no longer straddling him. He couldn't see her anywhere in sight, leaving him to lie there shivering and alone. He was in shock and the harder he tried to make himself stop shaking the harder he shook. He closed his eyes tightly as more tears streamed down the sides of his face. He was so thankful she was gone and that it was over, but then he heard a sound coming from the woods on his left.
At first, John was afraid to move or make any sounds. Still being unable to stop himself from shaking, he knew he needed to pull himself together. He was frightened by the thought that his teammates would soon return, and he did not want to be around when they did. He then suddenly had a flashback of them hovering over him, punching and kicking. Feeling himself shake even more, he tried to block the images from his mind. His breathing became rapid, causing sharp pains to emit from his broken ribs. John forced himself to turn over onto his side, as he tried forcing his thoughts to concentrate on getting up and heading back towards the stargate. The pain was overwhelming as it coursed through his entire body, but he continued forcing himself to get up. He was now face down on his stomach, and then forced himself onto his hands and knees. The piercing pain from his side wound and chest was so sharp that he couldn't hold back the outcry that strained through his tightly clenched teeth, "Oh, God...! That hurts!" Wincing in pain, he slightly lifted his head and looked around to see if his outcry had attracted any unwanted attention. He had trouble focusing on anything as the world was spinning all around him. He didn't notice any movement, but he could hear noises coming from the woods on his left.
He had to close his eyes to try and control the sudden nauseated feeling in his stomach as the world around him continued to spin. Still on all fours, he was becoming lightheaded and felt himself starting to sway. Having had a concussion before, he knew what to expect and forced himself to reopen his eyes. He tried focusing on the ground in front of him, but the nausea was taking over. He felt the tightening in his chest, causing severely sharp pains, as he upchucked the contents of his stomach onto the ground in front of him. Wincing in pain as he desperately gasped for air, he looked down at the gurgitation with regret. Noticing that parts of the contents contained the turkey sandwich he had earlier for lunch, he wondered whether or not he would ever be able to eat his favorite food again after seeing it in such a disgusting form.
The startling sound of a breaking branch coming from the woods to the left of him interrupted his thoughts. He struggled to stand on his feet as the world around him continued to whirl. Swaying slightly, he braced himself against the nearest tree and looked around to catch his bearings. Seeing his P-90 lying on the ground not far from him, he staggered over and almost lost his balance as he slowly stretched down to retrieve it. He noticed immediately that his weapon felt heavier than usual, and realized he should snap it to the front of his vest. He reached for the clip on his BDU vest, but it was missing. He was worried that in his currently weakened state he will not be able to carry the weapon for long, so he snapped it to a strap on his leg and decided to drag it. He knew it might slow him down, but he didn't want to venture forward unarmed. Seeing neither Teyla, Ford, nor McKay anywhere in sight, he started heading toward the direction of the stargate.
Staggering as he walked as swiftly as his battered body would allow, he had to stop every fifteen to thirty minutes to catch his breath as the tightening in his chest increased. Every breath he took felt like his lungs were burning with a piercing pain. He could taste the blood in his mouth as he coughed it up with each deep intake of air. Gasping and fumbling his way toward the direction of the gate, he suddenly realized he was being followed. He turned around to see Teyla a good eighty to ninety feet behind him, and heading in his direction. He turned back toward the direction of the gate, and tried quickening his pace.
John was fighting through the pain as he forced himself into a jog, but he didn't get very far. Stopped dead in his tracks, Ford and McKay suddenly appeared in front of him. They were a mere ten feet away and John froze in apprehension of their approach.
McKay was the first to move toward John's direction, followed by Ford. Now running on adrenaline and fear, John jerked swiftly to his right to get away. Having moved to fast, an unbearable rush of pain coursed through his entire body. He collapsed to the ground on his hands and knees. "Ahhh...,God...!" he cried out, trying with all his might to stay conscience from all the pain shooting through his trembling body. He barely managed to fight back the darkness and regain his bearings. Forcing himself to glance up, he saw McKay still stumbling toward him. He frantically looked around for Ford, but he was nowhere in sight. Lifting his P-90, which seemed even heavier, he unsnapped it from the strap on his leg and aimed it at McKay. "I will shoot you if you don't stop," John stated as he forced himself back up into a standing position. He swayed a little, but kept his aim on the still approaching McKay. "Please..., just stop and step aside," John pleaded as his finger tightened on the trigger. He didn't want to shoot his friend, but he couldn't allow him to get any closer knowing he couldn't take him down in hand to hand combat in the weakened state his battered body was in. "McKay, please!" John choked. He felt his eyes filling with tears as he began tightening his finger on the trigger all the way. John expected the next sound he would hear to be the sound of a bullet discharging from his weapon, but instead he heard a cracking noise coming from the back of his skull.
He felt a crisp throbbing pain in the back of his head, and suddenly realized he was face down on the ground. Then, there was a piercing affliction in his already wounded side as a foot kicked him over onto his back. His vision was obscured, but just before he succumbed to the darkness he saw Ford hovered over him.
John lay unconscious on the ground, but the video device was still recording. It showed Ford standing over John's lifeless form with what appeared to be a large branch in his right hand. His appearance had not changed and his breathing was still erratic. His leg was sopped with blood that was draining from the bullet wound John had given him earlier. He staggered slightly and began kicking John mercilessly in his left side, but stopped when McKay approached. McKay was now in view standing over John's body, and he still looked crazed and ill with no change in his appearance either. They both hovered over John for a while as their erratic breathing remained constant. McKay knelt down over him and started poking and prodding as if he were trying to wake him. Getting no response from John, McKay became very agitated. Ford knelt down with him and tried shaking John awake, but there was still no response. Their actions seemed primitive and child-like. They became furious and started pounding down on John's already battered body.
Their hostile beating on John's fragile body did not last long, as they began rummaging through all his pockets. There was curiosity written all over their pale and blue tinted faces as they pulled items out of the bottom pockets of his BDU vest. They would have reached the video recorder in the top pocket of his vest if the moans emanating from John had not distracted them.
John woke slowly, not being able to hold back the agonizing moans. Ford jabbed John in the chest with one of his index fingers, causing him to come to full awareness. It took a few moments for the ache in his chest to subside, and his vision cleared as he blinked away the painful tears he was unable to hold back. He could see Ford and McKay crouched over him, and he immediately tensed out of fear. John felt pretty sluggish, but was suddenly very well aware that McKay was affectionately caressing his inner left thigh. John felt himself go rigid every time McKay's hand slipped upward toward his groin, but then he would feel himself relax again when McKay's stroke would stop just before his groin and head south toward his knee. John started to speak, but was cut off when Ford gently placed a hand over his mouth. He couldn't believe how warm Ford's hand felt over his quivering lips. John found it even more odd that Ford's other hand began fiddling through his blood matted hair, as if he were grooming a fellow chimpanzee. The grooming may have been soothing under different circumstances, but instead caused tingling goose bumps to form on his scalp. John's tension may have subsided if it were not for his train of thought being suddenly drawn away by McKay's hand sliding further up his inner thigh to his groin. John began to panic and tried to jerk away, but Ford pinned him down. He couldn't speak out more than a grunt with Ford's hand still over his mouth, but he managed to endure the pain shooting through his body as he frantically began kicking his legs. He was only able to muffle outcries of protest through the hand over his mouth as McKay began working on undoing John's pants. He closed his eyes and continued yelling out through Ford's hand, hoping that the yelling would bring them to their senses. John's yells eventually turned into whimpers, as McKay began sliding his pants down past his already bruised hips that Teyla had afflicted on him earlier. He couldn't believe what was happening. He was overwhelmed as scrambled thoughts ran through his head. He thought back on Teyla's sexual assault and couldn't believe he actually thought it couldn't get any worse after that. John felt his shaking turn into uncontrollable tremors. He wished he was back at Atlantis in his bed fast asleep, and that he would soon wake up from this unbearable nightmare.
McKay had John's pants and boxers pulled down to his knees, which made it very difficult for John to continue kicking. He was so exhausted that he doubted he could have kept kicking for much longer anyways. Suddenly realizing he was being turned onto his side and his legs bent and pinned up against his chest, John became down right terrified.
Ford removed his hand from John's mouth and helped McKay pin John's scrawny and tired legs up against his aching chest. "Wait...! Please..., don't! Don't do this," John cried out as McKay unzipped his own pants. "What's wrong with you guys? I'm not gay…, and I know for a fact that neither of you are!" John exclaimed with a short pause, "McKay…, I know you like blonde females! Especially that Samantha Carter chick! And Ford…, I don't recall you ever mentioning a particular female you liked, but I never missed the looks you gave some of the female nurses in the infirmary. So, please… don't do this! It's not who you are!" John pleaded rapidly with panic, but immediately clenched his butt cheeks together when he felt the head of McKay's penis brush up against him. He felt himself shudder as McKay forced them apart. John was panic stricken as he felt McKay's throbbing shaft slide between his butt cheeks and stop just outside his rectal opening. "Rodney, please...! Please, don't," John pleaded with tears in his eyes as his body continued to shake uncontrollably with fear. John almost believed he had gotten through to him when he felt McKay hesitate, but all thoughts escaped him and were filled with shear pain as McKay pushed himself inside. "Oh..., God...," John cried out in pain as McKay was continuing to force his way in. He caught his breath as he felt himself being stretched and torn. McKay wasn't even giving John's prostate time to adjust, and it felt like a knife was being jabbed in and out of him as McKay began thrusting. John could feel rips and tears as sharp pains followed McKay's inner thrusts. It hurt so much that more tears formed in his eyes and streamed down his face. John could no longer hold back his outcries as McKay's thrusts became not only harder, but also increased in speed. He was in so much pain that he wasn't even aware that Ford was unpinning his legs from his chest.
McKay continued thrusting harder and harder, but John noticed the pain was starting to go numb and the pressure was easing. John could even feel the blood oozing out each time just before McKay would thrust back in. His own blood was serving as McKay's lubrication for an easier assault. John suddenly became overwhelmed by the thought and began to sob. The tears poured down his face and the heavy sobs caused sharp pains in his chest, but he didn't care. He felt as though he wanted to die. He could see his P-90 on the ground not far away, but just far enough that he couldn't reach it. He wanted to put himself out of his misery. To him, suicide was usually an act of cowardice in his book, but at the moment it didn't matter. He almost found it ironic that not only was he being physically tortured, but mentally. He had the means to solve his physical suffering right in front of him, and yet some cruel fate made sure it would be just out of his reach.
John's thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he finally realized his legs were no longer pinned to his chest, and that Ford was now fondling his privates. John couldn't help but gasp out a slight whine as Ford wrapped his right hand around his penis. Feeling a sharp pain, John realized he was still very sore from his earlier sexual encounter with Teyla. He tried to reach down to stop Ford from stroking his already battered and flaccid penis, but Ford used his left arm to pin John's attempts out of the way. Ford then brought his mouth down to John's penis and aggressively took him inside. John cried out in pain as he felt Ford's teeth scrapping into raw flesh as he bobbed his head up and down on his throbbing shaft. Ford was sucking hard and fast, as he was almost at the same rhythm as McKay. John couldn't help but yell out in pain a couple of times when Ford would bite down on his penis just enough to break the skin and draw blood. Each time, John was terrified that Ford might bite all the way through.
"Ahhh..," John yelled out as Ford once again bit down slightly and scrapped his teeth along his battered and blood covered penis. John could hear both men groan deeply in pleasure from the sound of his outcries and their sexual assault. John continued to sob as tears poured down his face, but then he suddenly realized that Ford and McKay had both stopped their assault simultaneously. John tilted his head slightly and looked up to see they were looking away with their completely white eyes at something behind him. He tilted his head as far back as he could to try and get a glance at what they were looking at, and there she was.
Teyla was a mere five feet away, and she breathed heavily with her right hand braced against the trunk of a tree. Her face was still pale with perspiration and her eyes completely white, but the expression on her face was pure rage. She seemed angry at the sight of what McKay and Ford were doing to John. It was an almost jealous rage.
John couldn't help but whimper out in pain as he felt McKay pull out from his throbbing and inflamed rectum, and it wasn't until after the pain dulled that John noticed Ford had pulled away as well. He watched them stand immediately and make their way toward Teyla's direction, while leaving him lie there trembling and indecent. He was tempted to continue watching them approach one another as Teyla began moving forward, but forced his eyes to look away. He heard them begin to growl and snarl at each other, but he still avoided looking back at them. Even when he heard them start to fight and wrestle, he did not dare turn to observe. He knew he needed to take advantage of their sudden disinterest in him to escape.
John slowly raised his knees to his chest and grabbed the waistband of his pants that were down around his ankles. Trying desperately to hold himself together as his movements caused him severe pain, he pulled his boxers and pants back up over his bruised hips. Although, he wasn't able to holdback the outcry that escaped his lips when he had to tuck in his abused penis so he could zip up the fly to his trousers. He then forced himself onto his hands and knees, only to feel the full force of his nausea. There was a tightening in his chest as he upchucked the contents of his stomach onto the ground in front of him for the second time that day, but this time he did not wait for the pain in his chest to subside. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and noticed it was trembling, but he shook it off as he forced himself to stand. Without looking back, he picked up his P-90 and managed to get into a slow jog toward the direction of the stargate when he started to feel lightheaded. Even his body was becoming numb, and his legs were beginning to wobble beneath him. He could barely hold the weight of his weapon and the world around him was beginning to spin, but he pushed on seeing the stargate not far up ahead. He forced his legs to try and move faster, but he kept stumbling to the ground under his tiresome legs. "Come on, John..! Get up..! Get your ass moving..!" he yelled at himself through gritted teeth as he forced himself to his feet again. He tightened his grip on his P-90 and started running with full determination to reach the gate. Afraid to slow down, he slammed himself against the DHD and leaned his full weight over it as he quickly dialed the coordinates for Atlantis. Raising the device attached to his wrist, he shakily punched in his IDC code as best he could. He then slowly eased his weight off the DHD and pushed off into a full sprint toward the active gate. He only made it about halfway in between the DHD and the gate when his legs once again gave out on him. "Come on..! You're almost there..! Get up..!" he yelled to himself, but his body didn't want to listen. He felt his body trembling beyond control as he tried with all his might to stand. The dazed feeling in his head was becoming unnerving, but he was suddenly distracted when he thought he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. He alertly raised his head to look around, but his vision was becoming blurred and unfocused. He rested himself up on his knees, and raised his P-90 that had fallen to the ground in front of him. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he clenched his teeth tightly to try and control the exertion that was trying to overtake him. Then a noise of breaking branches brought him to a panic as he took aim and started firing in all directions. There was really nothing there, but his vision was so blurred that he continued firing out of fear. He was so fatigued and on the edge of losing consciousness that he wasn't thinking straight. He didn't even realize he was out of ammunition after only a few shots. All that was coming out of his weapon was a clicking noise, but he was so frightened by what he couldn't see that he kept squeezing the trigger. The adrenaline that was now pumping through him helped him find the strength to get to his feet. Ignoring the piercing pains shooting through his entire body, he sprinted into the gate and rematerialized on the other side of the event horizon. His vision slightly clearing from the adrenaline rush, he continued running franticly through the gate room and up the main steps yelling, "Activate the shield…! Activate the shield…!"
Chapter Ten "Needing To Be Strong"
Not wanting to relive those agonizing moments, Elizabeth pushed stop on the camcorder. She felt a catch in her throat as she tried to swallow back the tears that were fighting to come out. Losing the battle as one tear rolling down her face turned into several, she cupped her hands over her eyes and rested her elbows on the table in front of her. She could no longer hold herself together as shivers ran up and down her body, and she began sobbing uncontrollably. She almost forgot that Carson was even in the room until she was suddenly startled by his strong embracing hands rapped around her slender shoulders. She looked up to find his eyes were filled with unshed tears, and she knew he was battling to hold himself together for her benefit. One of them needed to remain strong, and Elizabeth felt guilty that it would have to be Carson. "I'm sorry! I know I should be stronger than this. Especially for John's sake. We both need to be strong if we're going to help him through this," she said softly as more tears trickled down her pale cheeks.
"No, lass! Ye have nothin' to be sorry for. I have a great deal of experience with this sort of situation havin' treated patients in the past whom had suffered under similar circumstances, just none of them had suffered nearly as bad as our lad John here did. Even I am havin' trouble keepin' my emotions in check," Carson paused to swallow back tears that were on the verge of pouring down his face, "He is our friend... and we will help him through this... but, Elizabeth,... he's not in this room," he paused again to let out a long exhausting breath, and raised his right hand to Elizabeth's face to brush away some of her tears, "Ye don't have to be strong for him in here," he said softly as he wiped more of her tears away and drew her in closer for a hug.
She willingly let herself go as the tears came pouring out, and she buried her face into his strong chest. Feeling her sobs increase, Carson held her even tighter as he tried soothing her with his hands caressing up and down her back. He wanted to give her some comforting words, but was unable as a few tears escaped down his face. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes as he rested his chin on the top of her head. He could no longer fight the tears that were streaming down his face as he held his crying friend in an even tighter embrace.
Chapter Eleven "Weight Lifted"
Carson and Elizabeth had held each other for several moments before parting from one another's embrace, due to Sergeant Bates entering the room and clearing his throat to let his presents be known. Elizabeth felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from her as she wiped away her remaining tears, and straightened her posture before fully facing Sergeant Bates. "Sorry to bother you, ma'am, but the search and rescue team has sent us a radio transmission that they are coming up empty handed with no sign of the Major's team. Would you like me to send another search team and give them a chance to rest?" Bates asked, trying not to show any response to walking in on her crying into Carson's chest.
"Do you think the next search team might find them, Sergeant?" she asked after standing up and pulling herself together.
"It's hard to say, ma'am, but it is a large planet with a great deal of ground to cover. I believe that if we keep sending search teams one after the other, we will eventually zero in on their position and bring them home," Bates stated with confidence.
"Sounds like a plan, Sergeant. Go ahead and send the next search party, and let me know immediately if they find anything," Elizabeth stated and then gave the Sergeant a nod of approval, but before he left he turned toward Carson who was still sitting.
"Doctor, is there anything you need the search party to bring back from the planet for study?" Bates asked in hopes that there was something else he could do to help.
"Aye, actually there is, lad. It would be great if they could bring back a fruit that is yellow in color with slime and bumps all over it's outer coverin', and place it under quarantine in my lab. Also be sure that yer search teams continue to wear the biohazard suits. I am now sure there is a contaminate on the planet. In fact, just to be safe, have the search party that is just about to return through the gate report immediately to quarantine for a cleansin' before they take their biohazard suits off. Make sure ye send them the message by radio transmission before they come through that gate, and have all of the following search parties go through the same process when they return," Carson paused as he stood from his seat and gave a quick glance at Elizabeth before turning back to look at Bates, "Also have yer search parties bring extra bio suits with them incase they find McKay, Ford, and Teyla. They will have to be placed under quarantine once they are found, and I suggest ye arm yer search parties with dart guns since ye will more than likely have to sedate them. They were infected by the fruit I need ye to have brought back for me to study, so don't be surprised by there appearance when ye do eventually find them. Just get them sedated and into quarantine as soon as possible," Carson informed not wanting to go into too much detail. Sergeant Bates had a puzzled look on his face, but nodded in response to Carson's needs and turned to leave the room. Carson then looked back at Elizabeth and noticed that she seemed on edge as she began to fidget where she stood.
The first thing she wanted to do was visit John in the infirmary, but Carson could see that she was fatigued and recommended that she went and got some rest. He explained to her that it would be a while before John would wake, and that she could see him first thing in the morning. Elizabeth protested at first, but then gave into Carson's demands after he assured her that he would let her know if there was any change in John's condition or if the search party had found anyone. She nodded in defeat and stood to leave the briefing room, but stopped at the door to turn and give Carson a tired smile before heading towards her quarters. He knew the smile represented a 'thank you' gesture for him being there for her, so he nodded and smiled back at her to gesture 'you're welcome'.
Elizabeth couldn't remember her walk between the briefing room and her quarters, as she found herself standing in front of her door. She was too tired to try and regain the memories on how she got there, so she shrugged off her confusion as she opened the doors to her room and entered. Not even having the strength to change her clothes, she plopped down on her bed and fell fast asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
Chapter Twelve "A Long Night For Carson"
As Elizabeth was asleep in her quarters, Carson was in the infirmary checking up on John's condition. He looked down on John's frail body laying in the hospital bed wearing burgundy scrubs the nurses helped him dress John in after they got him cleaned up and stable, and couldn't believe his own team mates put him in this condition. He didn't blame them, though. Carson was sure that McKay, Ford, and Teyla were not in control of their own actions based on the video footage he watched with Elizabeth, but he couldn't imagine what might have possibly been running through John's mind during their assaults on him. It was something that Carson himself didn't want to think about, so he continued checking over John's vital signs. He made sure all of his bandages around his ribs were secure, and he listened to John's chest with his stethoscope to find everything was acceptable considering the condition his body was in. He still isn't exactly sure how John managed to stand on his own feet, let alone run through the gate room and up the stairs without collapsing. Carson just looked down at his friend in amazement as he grabbed John's wrist to check his pulse. He started to worry about how John was going to cope with the whole ordeal, but a slight twitch in John's hand broke his concentration. Carson immediately looked up to see John's eyes were slowly opening, and leaned forward to put his face in John's view. His eyes were barely open, but Carson could see some slight movement as it appeared that John was looking around. "John, can ye hear me?" he asked looking intently into John's hazel eyes. Not getting any kind of response, Carson held John's hand and gave it a slight squeeze. "I know it's uncomfortable, lad, but we had to insert a tube down yer throat to help ye breathe. Try not to speak, but if ye can hear me I need ye to squeeze my hand for me," Carson spoke as he kept his focus on John's face to see if there was any signs that John was really even conscious. He waited a few seconds, but there was still no response. Carson checked his pulse again to find it a little more rapid than before, but not enough for him to be in a wakened state. "John, can ye squeeze my hand?" Carson asked, but once again got no response. He reached for a penlight to flash in John's eyes, but John's eyes slowly closed and he was fully unconscious again. He cupped both of his hands around John's, and exhaled a long breath before placing John's hand back under the warm hospital blanket. He then sat down on a stool next to John's bed and starting filling out a progress report on John's condition.
After filling out the report, Carson looked around the room and then down at his watch to check the time. It was late, and the only staff members left in the infirmary were Carson and two female nurses that were keeping to themselves on the far side of the room; filling out patient progress reports at a desk. Carson took this as an opportunity to check on a few other injuries John had, and he pulled the privacy curtain halfway around so nobody could see in. He put on some latex gloves before lifting John's shirt to get to the waist band of his pants, but stopped when he saw the blood seeping through the bandages that were covering the stab wound he got from Teyla just below his left ribs. He slowly removed the blood soaked bandages and quickly cleaned the area. He then stopped the bleeding as best he could and bandaged the area back up with a clean and occlusive dressing. Once finished, he removed his blood covered gloves and replaced them with new ones as he went back to examining John's other injuries. He untied the strings in the front of John's pants and loosened the waistband to make it easier for him to slide them past John's slender hips. He nearly gasped at the sight of how much John's penis had reddened and swelled since he last saw it, when he and the nurses were cleaning him up before dressing him in the scrubs he now wears. He knew right away that he would have to wait for the swelling to go down before he could even attempt to insert an indwelling catheter. He then noticed that it was extremely hot to the touch as he gently examined to see if there were any signs of infection around the bite marks Ford had inflicted on him. Finding no signs of infection, he thoroughly cleaned the area to prevent any future infections from setting in. He then grabbed some antibiotic ointment and began gently rubbing it all over the injured area, but stopped and looked up when he heard John's heart monitor increase in rhythm. He was worried to see that his contact on John's genitals was causing such a dramatic response as his heart rate continued to increase. Carson quickened his pace but made sure he got every inch of John's penis covered with ointment. Noticing John's tachycardia was reaching a dangerous level, he broke contact and decided to wait a few moments to let his heart rate return to a safe level before he moved on to check John's prostate. He sat down on a stool and removed his latex gloves only to replace them with new ones, as he sat patiently watching John's heart rate gradually returning to a safe rhythm. When be believed it was safe, he gently slid John's pants all the way down to his ankles and then all the way off. He would have preferred to turn John on his side, to get better access to his backside, but he didn't want to do anything that might cause his side wound to start bleeding again. With that in mind, he reached down under both sides of the bed and brought up the stirrups that were folded underneath. He then slowly eased John's legs one at a time into the stirrups. After getting John settled into position, he wiped the area clean from dried blood as he paid close attention to how red the surrounding area of John's opening was. It was swollen and inflamed, but he didn't see any serious damage other than a few slits from his rectum being stretched. He didn't think they were deep enough to need stitches, and began applying some lubrication around John's opening. He needed to feel inside to see if there was any internal damage as he coated one of his index fingers with lubrication as well. He made sure John's opening was well lubricated before pressing in. As soon as his finger broke the barrier of the opening, Carson immediately noticed John's heart rhythm increasing once again. He quickly felt around the inner walls of John's prostate to find several rips. He gently ran his finger over them, and was pleased to find they were not deep. Finding no other signs of injury, he gently pulled out as John's heart rate was reaching a dangerous level again. He watched and waited for his vitals to level out before taking John's legs off the stirrups. He then gently slid John's pants back on, and covered him back up with several hospital blankets to keep him warm and comfortable. Carson then sat back on the stool to let out a long exhausting breath he had been waiting to let out since the first increase of John's heart rhythm occurred. He put himself into a deep thought and was worried that if John reacted that drastically to that kind of physical contact while he was unconscious, how will his body react to an exam in a wakened state.
Carson continued pondering as he stared at John's still form, but his line of concentration was cut short by the sound of a familiar voice. "Dr. Beckett!" Sergeant Bates addressed at a normal tone. Carson swiftly got up from the stool he was sitting on and walked around the privacy curtain to see Sergeant Bates standing stiffly at his desk.
"I hope ye got some good news for me, lad. I could sure use some," Carson said with a sigh as he walked over toward Bates and sat down at his desk.
"I'm afraid I have bad news and good news, Doc. The bad news, is that none of the search parties have found any signs of the Major's team yet. However, there is still a great deal of ground to cover. We have not given up hope. We will eventually find them and bring them home," Bates paused with a sighing exhale, "The good news, is that one of the search parties managed to find the fruit you had requested and placed several of them under quarantine in your lab. Other than that, I'm afraid I don't have much to report!" Bates stated as he shifted his weight from one leg to the other.
"That's alright, Sergeant! At this point, any news is better than no news," Carson sighed as he noticed Bates still stood there as if he had more to say. "Is there anythin' else ye needed, Sergeant?" he asked, watching Bates continue to shift his weight back and forth in a nervous manner.
"Uh...! I was wondering... how the Major was doing?" Bates asked nervously.
"Aye, lad. He's stable for now and in no serious danger. It will take time for him to heal, but he'll be back to his uppity self before ye know it," Carson said softly. He knows that Bates and John don't get along all the time, but he also knows that Bates has the utmost respect for John.
"If you don't mind me asking…, how did he get so banged up? None of the search parties have reported finding any hostile inhabitants… or any habitants at all for that matter!" Bates asked with concern.
"Well, as ye know, I already informed ye that McKay, Ford, and Teyla were affected by some fruit they had come into contact with," Carson sighed with a pause, "They are the ones that caused John to be in the condition he is in," he paused again as he saw Bates eyes open wide with surprise, "I can't go into detail on what they had done to him, due to patient privacy. But…, keep in mind that they were not in control of their actions. They had been compromised by the contaminant they got from the fruit they came into contact with. We shouldn't blame them... It wasn't their fault... It was beyond their control...," Carson stated, trying to let Bates know not to hold it against them after seeing a slight hint of anger in his eyes. Without saying anything, Bates just nodded and left the room. Carson could tell Bates was upset, but he knew when the time come he wouldn't hold anything against John's teammates once they were safely found and back to themselves again. But even Carson himself remembered feeling a slight tinge of anger when he first discovered where John got his injuries from, so he did not blame Bates for expressing some slight anger as well. It was a normal human reaction.
Speaking of normal human reactions... Feeling extremely exhausted, Carson let out a long breath as he rested his forehead onto the palms of his hands with his elbows rested on his desk in front of him. He had planned on closing his eyes for only a few seconds to gather himself, but instead fell into a deep slumber that his tired body could no longer fight off.
Chapter Thirteen "The Next Day"
Elizabeth didn't know what time it was or how long she had been asleep, but there was daylight shining through her windows. At first, she just laid there thinking she was waking up to another ordinary day until the events of the past day flashed through her mind. "John," she called out as she swiftly sat up. She went to stand, but plopped back down when she felt a sharp pain in her temples. It was like waking up to a hangover, but without the boos. She stood up again, but much slower this time. She looked down to see she was already dressed and left her quarters to head for the infirmary.
Once there, she immediately spotted Carson at his desk asleep. His head was resting peacefully on his folded arms that were lying on the top of his desk. She reached over and stroked her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, but was suddenly startled when he jerked his head up in reaction to her touch. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean for you to wake so abruptly. Are you alright?" she asked, looking at him with concern. She didn't miss the fact that he had slightly puffy circles underlining his eyes, and she could tell he didn't get much sleep by the exhaustion on his face. He looked so tired and rundown, as if he were up most of the night.
"Aye… It's okay, lass. Ye didn't really startle me too bad. I just hadn't realized I had fallen asleep," he said groggily as he stretched his arms above his head and yawned. He began rubbing at his tired eyes to get some of the sleep out, but was jolted into a more awakened state by Elizabeth's next question.
"How's John doing?" she asked anxiously as she fiddled her fingers together. She could feel her heart beat racing, as she waited in anticipation of Carson's response.
Elizabeth's question had swiftly reminded him of the events that took place yesterday, and he opened his eyes wide after giving them one last waking rub. "Uh... He's still on life support and his condition remains critical, but I think he's on his way to a safe recovery. His vital signs look promisin', and his condition is no longer life threatenin'. I'm still worried about any possible infections occurrin', but other than that his physical wounds should heal just fine. However, I am worried about how the events on the planet have affected his mental state…" he paused to let out a long breath; and shifted uncomfortably in his chair, "I went to reexamine his more personal areas last night to make sure I hadn't missed anythin' the first time, before I had known what had caused the bite marks. At first, everythin' was fine. I checked to make sure the area was properly cleaned and that there were no signs of infection, but… when I went to place some antibiotic cream on the area I got a response. His heart rate had rapidly increased to an almost dangerous level. I finished with the ointment as quick as possible, and then moved on to checkin' his prostate for any internal damage. I had to be swift with that exam as well… I was afraid he was going to code on me," he paused again to let out another long breath as he noticed Elizabeth's discomfort in their conversation, "If he reacts to that kind of physical touch in his unconscious state, I'm worried of how he will react when I have to examine him when he awakes," he stated as he stood from his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "I have to give him a very low dose of pain medication for the time being," he paused for a second when he saw the concern in Elizabeth's eyes, "I need to see how much strain will be on his heart when he is in a conscious state before I can even consider raisin' the dosage. Physically his heart is fine, but his emotional stress could cause a problem. The lower the pain medication is, the sooner he should wake up," he said reassuringly to let Elizabeth know that his actions were necessary.
"Is he in any pain now?" she asked, upset by the thought that John might be suffering.
"Accordin' to his pulse rate, I believe I have him on just enough medication to subdue most of the pain he's in. I wish I could tell ye that he isn't in any pain, but I'm afraid I can't. His injuries are no longer life threatenin', but they were severe," he paused to cup one of Elizabeth's hands with his own in a comforting manner, "When he does waken... He will probably be in a great deal of pain, but I'm hopin' I'll be able to raise his pain medication after his vital signs check out okay," he explained to her in an assuring tone as he patted the top of her hand.
She nodded in understanding and couldn't help but ask, "Can I see him?"
"Actually, I'm just about to check up on him. Ye can join me if ye like," he exclaimed with a comforting smile as he released her hand that was cupped between his. She merely nodded and followed Carson toward the privacy curtain that was wrapped halfway around John's hospital bed.
She let out a long anxious breath just before they approached the curtain. As soon as Carson pulled the privacy curtain back, Elizabeth couldn't help but draw back in a long breath at the sight of John. The bruises on his face were more profound, a slightly bloody bandage was covering the gash on his left temple, a tube was sticking down his throat to help him breathe, there were several vital signs monitors attached to him under the burgundy scrubs he was now wearing, and he lay unconscious and motionless on the hospital bed. She approached the side of his bed and cupped both of her hands around one of his. His hand felt so cold in between hers, and she studied his face disappointedly noticing how pale and tired he looked. She was, however, pleased to see how peaceful he looked. It didn't appear that he was in any pain, and that helped settle her nerves a bit. She slightly tightened her cupped hands around his to try and warm his cold and clammy one, while she watched Carson check all of his vitals. Carson looked so run down that his face was plain and unreadable. She couldn't tell if he was pleased or displeased with John's vital readings. "Has he improved any?" she asked, anxiously wanting to know how John was doing as she gave his hand another slight squeeze.
"His condition remains the same...," Carson paused, letting out a long exhausting breath. "I didn't expect him to heal over night... His injuries were too severe. At this moment, I would rather see no change in his condition rather than see his condition worsen. His vital signs are not top notch, but acceptable considerin' the condition he is in. It will take time for his body to heal, but he will mend," he informed her in a tired voice.
"How long do you think it will be until he wakes up?" Elizabeth asked as she brought her eyes back down to look at John's battered face.
"In the condition he's in…, there's no way of tellin' when that might be. It could be tomorrow.., or even a week from now. I'm hopin' his body will do some healin' before he does wake, so he won't be in so much pain. However... I do need him to wakeup soon, so I can do a more thorough exam of his private areas before infection sets in. I don't want to risk him codin' if I try checkin' those areas again while he's unconscious." Carson explained, followed by a long exhausting yawn.
Elizabeth nodded in understanding to his explanation as she looked down at John and then back up at Carson. "Has there been any word on McKay, Ford, or Teyla?" she asked, wondering if the search and rescue teams had found them while she was asleep.
"No, I'm afraid not. Sergeant Bates did inform me that there is still a great deal of ground to cover, so we shouldn't give up hope. However, I was very pleased when he informed me that one of the search teams did manage to bring back several of the fruits for study. I haven't had the chance to look at any of them yet, but I'm sure they're not goin' to grow legs and run," Carson chuckled out before yawning again. Elizabeth gave him a concerned look with his last statement, and could tell he was worn down and extremely exhausted.
"Doctor, I do believe it's your turn to get some rest. I can stay with him," she stated with a smile as she watched Carson yawn once again.
"Aye, lass! I think I will turn in for a bit. If ye need me, I'm just goin' to lie down on one of the unoccupied hospital beds in the other room. Don't hesitate to wake me if John's condition changes, okay?" Carson said softly with tears in his eyes from all the yawning. They both nodded and smiled at each other before he walked away and headed into the other room. Meanwhile, Elizabeth let go of John's hand and grabbed a near by stool to sit down beside John's still form. She recaptured his cold hand into hers and just watched the rise and fall of his chest with each breath he took. Waiting anxiously for his recovery.
Chapter Fourteen "In Six Days"
Six days have passed since Elizabeth last saw John smile. Six days have passed since John's battered body came charging through the stargate. Six days have passed since Elizabeth had watched the video that exposed the horrible torment John had endured. Six days had passed with every search and rescue team coming back empty handed as they looked for John's teammates. Six days that Carson and Elizabeth watched and worried over John's motionless form in the infirmary.
Within those six days, John's condition was gradually improving to Carson's satisfaction. Meanwhile, Elizabeth never left his side unless she was needed in the gate room. She even spent her nights asleep in a chair by his side, not wanting to miss the opportunity to be there when he wakes. The days seemed long with every passing hour, and the waiting suspense for him to wake was putting everyone on edge.
Carson was constantly busy studying the contaminated fruit in his lab, and continuously checking on John's condition every few hours. Elizabeth was starting to think the man never slept until she caught him slouched at his desk fast asleep a couple of times. She was amazed at how he managed to keep himself together as he ran back and forth between the infirmary and his lab. On the third day, she almost thought his busy motives had drove him completely mad as he came barging into the infirmary babbling frantically with gasping breaths.
He had startled Elizabeth as he came running into the room, garbling out words she couldn't understand through his heavy breathing. "Take it easy, Carson, and slow down! I can't understand a word you're saying!" Elizabeth exclaimed, and she placed her hand on Carson's back as he bent over to catch his breath before trying to speak again.
Carson straightened back up with his hands on his hips and began to speak more clearly, but at an excited pace that Elizabeth found almost unnerving. "I had a hypothesis about the effects of the fruit since I saw the video footage, and I confirmed that hypothesis the other day. The contaminant can only be transmitted by the slimy substance on the outer covering of the fruit. It can not be transmitted from one individual to the other, based on the evidence that John was not affected. He was the only one who did not touch the fruit, and he showed no sign of contamination after the others had made contact with him. Not even when they had sexual contact with him…" Carson said frantically, gesturing with his hands in an unexplainable excitement as he took in a long inhale to catch his breath.
"When was the last time you slept, Carson?" she paused to smile at him as he continued breathing heavily with his eyes wide with excitement, "And I don't see how this discovery of yours was exciting enough for you to cough up a lung in order for you to deliver this information to me so urgently," she exclaimed with another humored smile.
He pointed and shook an index finger in the air as he took another deep breath before speaking, "The slimy coverin' seems to act like a natural oil once it comes into contact with the skin, absorbin' itself into the pores. Once in the pores, it spreads throughout the body and on into the brain. It then causes an increase of hormone activity in the primitive portion of the brain, causin' hostile behavior. It also seems to drastically increase the sex drive!" he exclaimed as his breathing became more regular.
"And you found this out how...?" she asked, afraid he was going to say he infected himself based on his currently hyper state.
"Oh..., I allowed some of the slime to come in contact with one of our research mice. I observed it's behavior, and took some blood samples to find that it's hormone levels had sky rocketed!" Carson exclaimed, seeming very pleased with himself, and Elizabeth was pleased to hear he hadn't used himself for the experiment. She was, however, still confused as to what point he was trying to get across.
"That's fascinating, Doctor, but I still fail to see the importance!" she retorted with a confused expression directed at him.
"With further observation and tests, I discovered an amazin' irony about what the fruit does. The slimy outer coverin' is what causes the imbalance, but then I discovered after openin' the fruit that the inside has the opposite affect!" Carson exclaimed, smiling ear to ear with enthusiasm.
"I'm afraid I'm still not following," Elizabeth stated with confusion as she was not quite sure were he was heading with all this.
"I fed a piece of the fruit to the infected mouse! The contaminant is the contents on the outside of the fruit, whereas the cure is the contents on the inside of the fruit!" Carson said gleefully.
"What?" she asked in confusion to what he was saying.
Carson sighed and spoke a little slower, "What I'm tryin' to say is that all we have to do is have McKay, Ford, and Teyla eat some of the contents from inside the fruit and they should return back to their normal selves…" he explained, noticing that Elizabeth now understood what point he was trying to get across.
"That's great news!" she exclaimed, with her eyes now wide with excitement.
"Oh, and I already have everythin' set up for when the search party finally finds them. Several pieces of the fruit have thus been separated from their outer coverin'. I've even got a team workin' on a way to synthesis the antidote into an intramuscular injection, so that we can get the Major's team back to normal as soon as possible," Carson informed.
"Good work, Doctor!" she exclaimed and started to walk away. However, she turned back to speak again, "And, Carson…? Feel free to cough up another lung if you find out the search party found them!" she exclaimed with a smile, and he grinned back at her comment before he turned to leave the room.
She returned to John's side and held his hand as the day prolonged. It was, however, the third day that John appeared to look his worst as the bruises on his body had turned a dark purplish black. At one point, Carson even had his medical staff place some ice packs under John's arms and around his groin to try and bring down a high fever he had developed. He was worried that the sudden onset of the high fever could cause John's kidneys to shut down, and Elizabeth couldn't believe how hot to the touch he was whenever she rested her hand on his forehead. She tried to help by placing a damp cloth across his forehead and gently wiping his face with another to try and cool him. Both Carson and herself were very pleased to see that his temperature was finally starting to come down by late that evening, and that his vital signs were showing signs of improvement.
The fourth day, the search parties continued to return empty handed with still no sign of John's teammates. On the brighter side, Carson and Elizabeth remained at John's side and were very delighted to see that John's appearance was looking better. His fever was less intense and the bruises that covered about eighty percent of his body were still dark in color, but turning into a brownish yellow tint. They both knew he still had a long road to full recovery and that his injuries were still severe, but they couldn't help but indulge themselves in the direction he was headed. With everything that has happened, even the slightest improvement in John's well being was lifting their spirits.
Even though there was still no word of success from the search teams, it was the fifth day that showed the biggest signs of improvement for John. He no longer looked like a human punching bag as his bruises were fading, his side wound was healing with no signs of infection, his ribs were mending, the swelling of his penis had gone down enough for a catheter to be inserted, and Carson was able to remove the respirator tube from John's throat to let him breathe on his own. It was a day of high hopes, as John's condition was taking a positive road to recovery. It was, however, the sixth day that really got the whole city of Atlantis in a frenzy. Major John Sheppard woke up.
Chapter Fifteen "The Sixth Day"
Elizabeth was sitting patiently at his side, staring down at his hand that was resting in her own. She was thinking back to the day she had essentially asked John to join the Atlantis expedition, when they were still on Earth in Antarctica. She remembered his reluctance to come at first, and started to wish he had stuck to his initial decision as she gave his hand a slight squeeze. If she would have never asked him to come to Atlantis he would not be lying in the infirmary now, but then she couldn't imagine Atlantis without him either. He was an important part of this expedition, but most of all he had become a good friend that she grew accustomed to relying on when situations would arise that seemed disastrously unavoidable. She smiled at herself when she thought of how John would describe it as 'saving our asses'. She didn't know how she could face any future conflicts without having John's tactical skills and sense of humor at her side. He was the one person that made it possible for her to continue running this city with a strong hand, and she smiled again thinking back to the time John had stuck up for her against Colonel Everett. She thought that was the end of her command over the expedition when Everett came through the gate with orders from Colonel O'Neil that he was relieving her of command, but John stepped in and disobeyed a direct order for her. She never even got to thank him, not even for the time he saved her life when Koyla of the Genii held her captive. It was the day of that horrible storm that she started to suspect John had feelings for her. It was the day she discovered he would kill to protect her. He never had to verbally express his feelings for her to see it, and she suspects he tries hiding his feelings in fear of rejection. That she will not feel the same for him. She closed her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek. She desperately wished she could rewind time and stop him from going through the gate six days ago, and that she could find the courage to tell him she had feelings for him as well. That her feelings go beyond the borderline of mere friendship.
At that very moment, she felt John's hand give a slight squeeze. Her eyes shot open immediately as she looked down to see John's hand clutching tightly to her own. A moan emitted from him, and she jerked up off the stool to look at his face. His head was slightly swaying back and forth on his pillow as he continued to moan, but his eyes remained closed. "John, can you hear me?" she asked with an excited and yet shaky voice as she brought her hand up to brush his hair back off his forehead. She kept her other hand in John's tightening grip as she watched his eyes begin to slowly open, and Elizabeth could feel a knot forming in her throat as she felt tears of joy replacing the ones of remorse.
His eyes were only half way open when they began to wonder around the room. "John…" she said softly, and he immediately fixed his eyes on her. She smiled and caressed her fingers through the hair on the top of his head. "Hey there," she paused and continued to smile at him, "How are you feeling?" she asked, not knowing what else to say. She could tell he was trying to say something, but nothing came out and he licked his dry chapped lips. "Would you like some water?" she asked. Not waiting for a response she reached for a glass of water on the table next to John's bed. She went to bring the glass of water to his lips, but he winced in pain through his tightly clenched teeth after trying to sit himself up. She felt his hand tighten around hers as his pain increased.
"Oh, God...!" John yelled out with a dry and scratchy voice. She tried to help him through the pain, but it would not seem to subside as he continued to cry out. One of the nurses on duty came running over at the sound of John's agony, and Elizabeth told her to get Carson immediately. John began whimpering in pain as tears started rolling down the sides of his face into his hair, and she did her best to comfort him through it as beads of perspiration formed on his brow. She could feel his body was quivering from the pain, and she began to shiver slightly herself; feeling helpless in having to watch him suffer.
It was only a few minutes later when Carson came running into the infirmary, with the nurse Elizabeth had sent not far behind. He approached the side of John's bed, opposite of Elizabeth, and placed his right hand on John's stomach with his left braced above John's head. "Take it easy, son!" Carson exclaimed as his hand caressed John's stomach to try and calm him. "John, I need ye to try and relax yer muscles for me, okay?" he said softly.
"I can't...!" John forced out hoarsely through gritted teeth.
"Yes ye can, lad! Just relax!" Carson exclaimed as he continued to caress John's stomach.
"It's okay," Elizabeth said softly as she began massaging her fingers through his hair.
"Oh, God...! It hurts...!" John cried out in pain as he grasped Carson's left bicep with his free hand for support.
"I know it hurts, John, but I need ye to relax yer muscles. I promise the pain won't be as bad if ye do. It's okay… Just relax! I know ye can do it!" Carson said in a calming tone as he brought his hand down from above John's head and rested it on his shoulder. Both Carson and Elizabeth could feel John slowly relaxing as his quivers decreased, and his out cries subsided to soft whimpers. "Shhh..., that's it! Ye're doin' great, John," Carson said softly as he and Elizabeth continued to comfort him.
"My chest hurts...," John quivered out as his muscles relaxed and his breathing hitched a couple of times.
"Just take some nice and easy breaths. Yer ribs are still pretty sore, so try and slow your breathin'," Carson said softly. He raised his hand from John's stomach to his chest to help ease his breathing as he gently rubbed his thumb back and forth over a number of his ribs. He could feel John's breath hitch a few times, but he eventually let out several slow quivering breaths until his breathing was more controlled. "That's it… Ye're doin' great, son. Nice and easy..." Carson said softly as he gave John a few apprizing pats on the shoulder. "I'm goin' to tilt the head of the bed so ye can sit up a bit, okay?" Carson informed him, and John just nodded in response since he was still trying to control his breathing. He winced in pain as his upper body was slowly tilted up. "It's good to see ye awake, Major. Ye had us all pretty worried there," Carson said softly. He rested his right hand just above John's right kneecap and was concerned when he noticed it caused John to flinch slightly, and then wince in pain. "How are ye feelin', son?" Carson asked, paying close attention to John's facial expressions and his slight trembles.
"Awful… Hurts everywhere…," John quivered out, as Elizabeth grabbed a small piece of cloth and started dabbing away some of the perspiration from his face. John flinched and tensed up abruptly, causing her to stop and exchange a concerned look with Carson.
"It's okay, John. I'm not going to hurt you," Elizabeth said softly as she brought the damp cloth back up to his forehead. He started to lean away, but fought back the insecurity he was feeling and allowed her to continue.
"Sorry…, the pain is just… making me a little jumpy," John quivered out with a scratchy voice, but Elizabeth knew there was more to it when she felt John tremble.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, John! Your safe now," Elizabeth said softly as she tried to make eye contact with him, but he wouldn't look up to meet her gaze. She almost swore he had a bashful and embarrassed expression on his face. She tried tilting his head back by putting some slight pressure on the damp cloth she was holding to his forehead to get a better look, but he resisted. He tensed up immediately and his trembling increased as he winced in pain. Then a sudden intake of air put him into a harsh coughing fit, causing him even more pain. Elizabeth brought her hand down from John's forehead and began caressing circles on his back, while she gave Carson a pleading look.
"Whoa…, take it easy, lad! I'm goin' to send a nurse to get some ice chips for yer throat," Carson paused to nod at the nurse that was still standing at the foot of the bed. The nurse understood and left immediately to get the ice chips.
"It hurts…," John said with a raspy voice, and grimaced a little in pain after swallowing.
"We had to put ye on a ventilator for a while to help you breathe. The tubes and the disuse of yer voice probably did a good number on yer throat, so it will probably be sore for a while. The ice chips should help ease most of the discomfort," Carson said with concern as he also felt John's trembling increase. "It's okay, son. It's just goin' to take a while for yer body to fully heal. Ye took quite a beatin'," he spoke softly as he brought his hand back up to caress John's stomach to try and comfort him.
"I don't suppose I could have some of that wonderful morphine of yours?" John asked as he continued to struggle through the pain.
Carson looked at the monitor to find John's heartbeat at a steady rate before saying, "I'll increase ye're pain meds a bit, but I'm sorry I can't give ye anymore than that until after I give ye a thorough exam..." Carson paused, seeing the discomfort in John's face. "It's okay, John. I just need ye to stay awake awhile, and then I'll increase yer morphine dose after everythin' checks out okay. I promise," he explained with an assuring tone. John still looked unsettled at the idea of having a physical exam, but he nodded his head okay and licked his dry chapped lips as Carson increased the drop rate on his meds. Elizabeth gave John's hand a slight squeeze, but then released and grabbed the cup of ice chips from the nurse who had returned.
"John, would you like an ice chip?" Elizabeth asked, holding the cup of ice chips out in front of him as her other hand rubbed back and forth over his shoulder blades for comfort. He nodded as she grabbed a single ice cube from the cup before setting it on the table next to his bed. She brought it up close to his lips and he pulled away slightly, but then allowed her to continue. "Let me get your lips wet, okay?" she said softly as she glided the ice cube across his chapped lips. She could still feel him trembling beneath her touch, and she gently slid the ice cube between his lips and into his mouth. She watched him struggle with his first couple of swallows causing him some slight pain as he moved the ice cube around in his mouth, but the pain eventually eased as he continued to swallow some more.
"Thanks…" John said with a less hoarse voice as he finally looked up to meet her gaze. She could feel his trembling ease down a little as he began to slowly relax.
"You're welcome," she exclaimed with a comforting smile as she reached down and placed her hand over his. She was pleased when he turned his hand over and interlocked their fingers together. She gave his hand a slight squeeze and smiled at him. He just gave a slight twitch with his mouth instead of his usual boyish smile, but she was glad to get something out of him. Even if it was just a twitch of the mouth. She knew it would take time for him to get back to being his old self again, but she was willing to wait.
Chapter Sixteen "All Beginning To Sink In"
Carson took his time checking over John's vital signs and the monitor readings, as he watched Elizabeth continuing to give John ice chips and comforting him as best she could. He was very worried about how John was going to deal with everything that had happened, and he wanted to give John a chance to calm down before he moved onto the physical part of the exam. He wondered whether or not he should question John about what had happened to him, but he was worried about how he would react. It seemed to be taking a while for John to settle down, and he didn't want to chance getting him all worked up again. Neither Elizabeth or himself have the proper training to deal with the psychological part of the situation, but they were the most qualified individuals on Atlantis that could help John through this since Heightmier was no longer among them.
Not wanting to prolong any longer, Carson approached John's bedside and placed his hand on John's right kneecap. He could still feel John trembling beneath his touch, and he could tell John was trying very hard to hide his discomfort. "How are ye doin', son?"
"I'm kind of cold," John said shyly, trying to use it as an excuse for his shaking. Carson gave a few warming rubs above John's kneecap, but stopped when he felt John's trembles slightly increase. He knew better than to think that John's shaking was caused by the cold.
"I'll have one of the nurses get ye some more blankets, but meanwhile…, I'd like to ask ye a few questions about what happened," Carson said softly in a comforting tone as he placed his other hand on John's right shoulder. He felt John flinch, but he kept his hand in place and looked up at Elizabeth. She looked back in understanding that he was going to ask John some personal questions.
"John, would it be easier on you if I left the room?" Elizabeth asked soothingly as she gave John's hand a slight squeeze.
"No…, you don't have to go. I… uh… don't think I'll be able to answer many questions. I… don't really remember a whole lot," John lied as he squirmed slightly in discomfort and licked his lips nervously.
"Can ye tell us what ye do remember?" Carson asked softly as he rubbed his thumb back and forth in a soothing manner, with the hand that was still resting on John's right shoulder.
"I… um…," John stuttered out followed by a long discomforting pause.
"It's okay… Take your time!" Elizabeth spoke as she rubbed her hand back and forth over his shoulder blades to try and comfort him. John nodded and let out a long quivering breath.
"Why don't ye start where ye first arrived on the planet?" Carson said encouragingly, trying to make it easier on John and to get him talking.
John seemed to relax a little when he thought back on how beautiful the scenery was after they arrived on the planet. "Uh… Well, the planet was actually quite breathtaking after we came through the gate. It was very colorful and peaceful," John paused as he let out another quivering breath. "McKay…" John's voice cracked slightly followed by a strained swallow.
"Take yer time, son," Carson said softly as Elizabeth gave John a comforting smile.
John cleared his throat to try and hide his discomfort before continuing. "He… He discovered what direction the energy signal was coming from, and we… pretty much assumed that's where the distress signal was coming from. So…, we walked in that direction for a long time and then took a rest at about the time that we could see… a large structural building a good distance ahead of us. I took first watch, and then fell asleep after… after Ford… relieved me," John paused with an exhausting sigh, "I don't remember anything after that…" John lied as he kept his eyes looking down at his lap to avoid looking at Carson or Elizabeth, while he nervously fidgeted with a string that was unraveling from his blanket.
Noticing John fidget, Carson exchanged a look with Elizabeth and nodded before speaking. "John," Carson paused, "We saw the video footage and…," he said softly but was cut off when John jerked his head up with his eyes open wide in panic. John had forgotten all about the recorder. He looked over at Elizabeth and then back at Carson before finding his voice.
"How much…," John's voice cracked as his breathing became rapid with anxiety.
"Everythin', son," Carson said calmly as he raised his hand from John's right kneecap to John's chest, and caressed his thumb back and forth to try and comfort him. He could see John's eyes were wide with confusion and panic as his trembling increased. He was worried John was going to hyperventilate as his breathing became irregular, and he heard the erratic beeps the heart monitor was giving off. "Take it easy, son," Carson said softly as he continued to try and comfort him.
"Oh, God…! Oh my God…!" John breathed out heavily with panic as his eyes filled with tears. It was all beginning to sink in, like a big wave had suddenly crashed down on him. He felt like he was drowning. He didn't know which was worse, what had happened to him or that they saw what had happened to him. He desperately wished that the recording device had occurred to him earlier, and that he had destroyed it before he left the planet.
"John…, it's okay," Elizabeth practically whispered as she gave his hand a slight squeeze and began rubbing her other hand up and down his left arm to try and calm him. John just closed his eyes and tucked his chin down to try and hide the tears that were starting to stream down his face.
Carson noticed the tears and slid his hand down from John's chest to his stomach. He rubbed his hand back and forth to try and comfort him as he spoke, "John, please… Don't be embarrassed. Myself and Elizabeth are the only ones that saw the video, and no one else has to. Not without yer consent!" Carson sighed with a pause as tears continued to stream down John's face, "What happened to ye is somethin' no one should ever have to go through. Ye have nothin' to be ashamed of, lad," Carson said softly and then gave John's right shoulder a friendly squeeze.
John shook his head back and forth in denial as his breath began to hitch. He swallowed hard and tried to hold back the sobs, but the strain was too much. He let go of Elizabeth's hand and draped his left arm over his eyes to hide the tears as he laid his head back on his pillow.
"Just take it easy, son," Carson said softly as he continued to caress John's stomach.
"It's going to be all right, John," Elizabeth spoke in a comforting tone as she began stroking John's hair back off his forehead. She could feel him shaking as his breathing hitched, and a few sobs escaped his lips. She wrapped her hands under both of his sides and started pulling his upper body up off the bed. He shook his head in protest as he removed his arm that was shielding his dampened eyes, but she continued to pull him into a comforting hug. She could feel him trembling, and drew him up close against her. He willingly buried his face into the right side of her neck as he wrapped his arms around her and held on as if his life depended on it. He was too exhausted to fight it any longer as he began to sob uncontrollably, and she tightened their embrace. "Shhh…," she gently soothed as she rubbed her right hand up and down his back to comfort him. She then slid her left hand up to the back of his head, and caressed her fingers through his hair. She could feel John shaking in her arms and the tears began to form in her own eyes. She knew she needed to be strong, so she tightened her grip on him and began rocking him back and forth. The hot air from his breath mixed with his tears was giving her goose bumps. She could even feel John's heartbeat in his chest as it was pressed closely to hers. It was almost soothing as each beat assured her that he was alive. She closed her eyes and rested her right cheek down on John's head as she continued to rock him in her arms.
TBC…
I hope you are looking forward to Part Three! Before you do, please feed the Beast by leaving a review! It's what fuels me as my substitute for carbohydrates! However, it could never replace chocolate and caffeine! Then again, an awesome review just might prove me wrong (Giggles!)!