On Warriors and Darkness

by Psalm 136

A series of drabbles on various characters. Not every character is as angelic and noble as they seem on the surface. I own nothing. Read and review, if you please. AU some departures from Tolkien's canon.

5. Shadow

Shadow

Psalm 136

Faramir lived a life of fear. As he grew from a toddler and as the years passed from his mother's death, he learned to keep his eyes to the ground and to bow even deeper than servants. He felt isolated from other boys his age. He never could fit in, but perhaps that was all right.

He drew nearer to his brother. Boromir was his pillar when he couldn't stand on his own. He shed more tears that most people did in a lifetime before he turned twenty, and his brother was what kept him alive. Without his brother, his soul would have withered away years before. Without his brother, he would given up and stopped battling to love himself.

But he couldn't. Faramir despised himself. He loathed his life and who he was. His father hated him, and he learned to hate himself as well. The very worst things he thought and believed about himself were echoed by the one man who should be protecting himself from that evil and it tore him even more, until he was left in shreds.

Though he was a great captain, inspirational to every single one of his men, he never could be confident. He trembled with fear before going into battle, thinking one action of his would cause the death of many. That something he did would cause disaster and everything his father had told him would become true.

The War of the Ring came and went, and the next thing he knew, he was under the watchful eyes of many healers. He suffered because he had to sit still for days and days. He had to stay in bed when all he wanted was to walk around and get some fresh air.

Faramir finally escaped the hawk eyes of the healers and walked outside into the cold night. He draped his cloak across his shoulders and looked up at the bright night sky. When he brought his eyes back down to normal level, he saw the most enchanting sight his eyes had ever seen.

It was a blonde woman, sitting on a bench, her eyes averted to the ground. She looked so sad, and he felt this immediate soul connection to her. He didn't understand it, but it simply became apart of him. He had no idea that this was only the beginnings and roots of love.