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Chapter 8

Bo Buchanan was walking towards his office when he saw a bunch of his officers huddling around his Chief's office. They were looking into the office with smiles on their faces and whispering among themselves. The female officers had huge smiles on and he was curious as to what was keeping his officers from their jobs. He quietly walked over to them.

"Is everyone on break?" he asked as they all turned and saw him. Their smiles faded and they all scuttled off to work, leaving the doorway of the office. Bo walked over to the doorway to see what everyone had been looking at. He looked inside and a huge smile formed on his face.

Bo saw them, John and Natalie on the couch snuggled up blocking the outside world out. He loved his niece and he was fond of John. Although he hurt Natalie a few to many times he always believed in him, in them actually. He was their biggest fan at times. He sighed hoping this time, just maybe, this time they could find there way back to each other and it would be worth all the past pain and mistakes. That maybe this time things would be right for them.

Bo closed the door to the office gently not to make another sound, walked away, and over to Ann.

"Don't let anyone bother them. They both could use the rest," he told her and she smiled at him.

Natalie started to stir, she moved a bit, feeling like she had just had the best nights sleep in her life she started to wake more when she felt arms around her, strong arms, longer arms than Ron's. She felt a breath on her neck and next thing she knew she heard his words.

John felt her stirred and he didn't remove his arms. Obviously they both spent the night asleep, content in each other's arms, like old times. He leaned his mouth close to her ear.

"Morning" he told her with still closed eyes as he felt her start to squirm.

"What the Hell!" she said as she quickly started to move out of his grip. Although a wonderful grip, a wonderful feeling, she wouldn't go down this road again with him. She was actually a bit pissed that he took it upon himself to lay down with her.

Natalie's quick actions and her anger caused her to start to fall off the couch. John tried to reach for her but by the time he realized she was falling he couldn't get to her. He she fell on her ass on the floor and he couldn't keep his laughter in.

"What the He--, Who the He--" she said as she started to get herself up quickly. He stood and reached out a hand to her but she refused to take it, she pushed his hand abruptly away and he got the point.

"I'm getting a little tired of this shit John, you just can't take it upon yourself to lay down with me on this couch, not on any couch" she told him and he was about to open up his mouth to apologize when she spoke again.

"What are you doing? Are you trying to get me to be with you again so you can hurt me again? I just don't understand you. These few stunts you've pulled, do you even understand them? Do you know why you're doing them?" she asked him, she was mad but she was more confused than angry. He said he wanted her to be happy. He said that was all he wanted yet he kissed her twice, and now snuggled with her all night.

Natalie saw him silent for a few minutes and then she shook her head.

"Same John, still can't quite find the words" she told him and was about to walk out of the door of the office when he grabbed her wrist and made her turn to him.

"That's not true, I'm not the same," he told her as he held her wrist tight. She didn't like his actions or his current words very much.

"Let go of me" she told him not too harsh at first but then when he shook his head no, she wanted to explode

"I said let go of me. Now!"

"No, not till we figure some stuff out. Not till I tell you that I missed you," he told her and she softened for a bit but then got mad again.

"You missed me isn't going to cut it John, maybe along time ago I would've been happy with those words, those feeling from you, but never again. I found someone who gives me more than you ever could," she told him and he stepped back a bit releasing her wrist.

"Really, then where is he Natalie, cause last I heard you and He aren't together any longer, don't deny it Nat, you left him cause it wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair that you still loved me."

"In your dreams McBain. Not anymore. And for your information, he left me, not because he didn't love me or that he knew I didn't love him but because he saw us stare a few times. He doesn't think I can care for him the same way I cared for you. He's delusional, cause I can and I do care for him so much more," she told him as he stared down his now heated gaze.

"Prove it" John told her and she got confused for a moment

"What?" she asked him

"Prove it, kiss me and then tell me you don't care for me anymore. Kiss me passionately like you use to and then tell me how much you love him"

"That's ridiculous, I won't do no such thing, leave me alone you ass," she said and she walked out of the office and out of the station

John watched her walk off; he too was just as confused as she was. He knew why he left, and he knew why he never came back before now. He knew that if he saw her, he just couldn't help himself, just like this. To be so close to her to be in the same town, and not be with her, that would drive him crazy. But John knew this wasn't fair, he knew it, and he knew if he couldn't give her what she wanted, what she needed he should stop being so selfish and just leave her be. Leave her to be happy and in love with Ron Walsh. Leave her to have a life with him, marry him, have his kids, and grow old with him.

John hadn't even realized it but his fists were tight. His face was steamed and he wanted desperately to punch something. He closed his eyes and then reopened them to see Bo standing in front of him.

"John" Bo said as he saw the man start to relax a bit.

"Bo"

"You know you can't blame her for being mad " Bo told him and John gave him a weak smile. It was obvious Bo saw her storm off or even over heard their conversation.

"I know I really screwed up by just up and leaving town the way I did." John told him as he watched the older gentlemen, a man that he admired so much. He saw something was on his mind and he knew it was coming.

"Can I ask you something?" Bo asked Him, John nodded yes.

"Have things changed, have you changed? I know its none of my business but... well you know how I feel about Natalie." Bo asked him and wasn't sure himself if the man standing in front of him had changed or not. He could be showing a few signs of change or were they just signs of regret?

"The honest truth" John asked as he walked around a bit. Bo nodded his head "I don't really know...I mean... I know I haven't felt half as good this past year as I feel being in the same room with her, even if she's mad at me" he told Bo and he stopped pacing when he heard Bo's next words.

"Have you tired telling her that?"

"I have just a little but that's just not going to cut it, and I know it" John told him and he heard the next words and he wasn't sure how to answer at first.

"Do you want her back?" Bo asked pointedly, he watched as John thought over his answer, at first Bo thought hesitation but then... then he realized that John was just picking his words wisely.

"I would give anything to turn back the clock and have never left her, never left by brother even, Llanview" John said as he again watched Bo.

"So...It sounds like you have a few things to make up for, how are you going to do it?" Bo asked and John just shook his head, almost disgusted with himself because he didn't have any idea.

"I don't have a clue"

"Well I think maybe you should figure it out and soon" Bo told him as he watched him; he was drifting off to somewhere else in his mind

"Yeah, and soon" John said