I'm sorry that I haven't updated in while. My internet has been angry with me but I got it fixed. Oh! Don't worry anyone who thinks that I might "chicken out" the ending. I know how this is going to end. I like the ending but I'm not sure how much everyone else will like it. There are probably three to five chapters left. That last chapter was pretty happy wasn't it?

House Number 777

May 17, 1991

4:13a.m.

Dear Log,

I'm not leaving the house again. Well not for a few days. I'm starting to see it's not just me that's off. I went back to "THE DARK ROOM" gothic club because I realized I didn't even make it in last time. As I walked down the street I made sure to keep my distance from people. There were a couple of kids by which I mean little junior high student sitting out outside of a café. They took one look at me and my new hair cut and burst into laughter. It was grating like nails on a chalk board. I knew I shouldn't be offended I really did a hack job on my head. So what, right?

I get to the club and all seems to be going all right. The music from the live band is loud and pounding. I could feel the vibrations from the drums before I even made it inside. Everything is so loud and chaotic but for me this is a peaceful place. It's a pretty big club it has two levels to it. The downstairs where the entrance is located is the dance floor and where the live band is. It's not so much a dance floor as a mosh pit. There are a bunch of people jumping around and trying to act foreboding at the same time. It's pretty funny to watch.

On the second floor there's a bar and tables. The tables are all lined up next to the railing over looking the dance floor. It makes for a good vantage point to watch everything going on around you. Once I was upstairs I went over to the bar and got a water. Still not twenty one. Sure I can live on my own, vote, be drafted and shot in a war (not yet but it could happen) and I still am too young to drink. Its bull, though I'm probably madder about the idea of not being allowed to rather then that I actually want a drink. Yeah that is what's going on. I just hate being told what I can and can't do. I can understand many of the laws on the books but this one is just asinine.

I've gotten off topic.

Well I sit down with my water and for several minutes everyone leaves me alone. Its perfect for the first couple of minutes there. I just sit on my little perch watching people bounce around like their on springs while a singer belts out his version of the Cure. To myself I said aloud, "Really this band should stick to their own stuff."

"I agree." A smooth voice said from behind me. I craned my neck and saw a girl standing over me. I don't know how long she had been hanging out over me. I'd like to think she had just gotten there. The girl without any prompting on my part pulled a chair up to the small table and sat across from me.

She batted her overly done eyelashes at me. You know Log, as well as I do that I haven't really interacted with anyone in days with the exception of ordering a water. I wasn't sure what to do or say to this person. She was a…curvy girl. I wouldn't say fat because that would be inaccurate and mean. She just had meat on her bones. Yeah… that's how I'll describe her. And all that meat was wrapped up in black clothing. Her arms were restrained in tight fishnet and her chest was squeezed into a corset with purple trim. Her legs were covered by a long flowing skirt.

It looked like she had taken several hours to prepare herself for showing up tonight and she did look pretty. I was a little confused as to why she was at my table though.

"Erm..." I mumbled, "Do I know you?" she looked shocked that I would ask.

"I," she said with a sly smile, "Am the mistress of the night. I am a creature of damnation. I am all that your holy god fears. I am…"she paused, "Beth." She grinned, "Beth Weinstein."

"Uh," I wasn't sure how to respond to that, "I am all…that I am." Yeah I thought that would work, "Name's Joey." She raised a pierced eyebrow, "Joey?" she scoffed, "Couldn't you have just gone with Joe? Or Joseph?"

"No." I said flatly. Deliberately I directed my attention back to the dancers and the wanna be musicians on stage. Then she started talking. She wouldn't stop talking. I don't know why she decided to leach on to me but she wouldn't let go. Eventually I started paying attention. She seemed obsessed with the concepts of live and death. For two straight hours she talked with only the occasional, "uh huh." From me.

"Joey," she said taking my hand. I returned my gaze to the "creature of damnation". She held my hand with my palm up tracing the creases with her finger, "For those who are uncertain life can be a scary thing. But death…" she said slowly licking her lips after saying the word "can be pure terror. Just think about it, Joseph. Heaven? Hell? Nothingness?" she closed her eyes and seemed to be soaking in all her own words, "its all so much and raises a question."

"What question?" I finally asked.

"What are you willing to die for?" her nail was now tracing the vein of my arm. Even as she kept doing that her eyes locked on to me. She obviously wanted an answer.

"I would die for my family." I said without hesitation. She frowned at me.

"Just them? If there were a woman or a child about to be killed and you knew your death would equal life for them…would you do it?" her eyes were boring into me, "Would you be willing to accept the nothingness of death in order to save lives?" I stiffened for some reason. She was making me uncomfortable.

"Sure," I said, "if my death could bring life for others I would die."

She smiled at me and said, "You're a good person." She released my hand which I pulled back as soon as it was free. She looked around for a moment before saying, "Wanna go and make out behind the dumpsters?"

"Uh…no." I said. She gave me a look and stood.

"Fag." She muttered walking away.

After all that I decided I wanted to go home. So here I am now. As crazy and weird as that girl was I'm starting to wonder…would I be willing to die for someone else?

Joey