Part 8

Notes:

Punch and Judy is a puppet show widely popular in 18th and 19th century England. The plot basically involves the characters brutally beating and murdering each other, so you can see how this would appeal to pirates.

I like Deirdre the Soiled from last chapter. I'll have to write a story about her sometime.

Review! About 4 of hits on my HP stories leave reviews, but only .007 for this story. I'm making a point in leaving reviews of stuff I read more often, now that I've noticed this trend.

"Dammit, dammit," Elizabeth muttered, staring down at her compass. She stood near the wheel with Jack and will, back in her own clothes, hat firmly on her head and sword at her belt (to prove to Will that she really did care).

"What's wrong?" Will asked.

The compass needle swung to the left, and to the right. The fact was, she was standing between Will and Jack. "Nothing. Here." She shoved the compass into Jack's hand. "You're the one steering the ship--you'd better deal with this."

"Whatever you want." He flipped it open, and the needle swung over to Elizabeth. He concentrated on their target, and it swung in the opposite direction. "You need to get over your issues, luv. Your life is kind of on the line here."

Of course Jack knew exactly what the problem with the compass was. "Like it's so easy." She left them alone.

"What's wrong?" Will asked again, this time directing the question to Jack.

"She can't use the compass because she can't get her mind off sex," Jack replied, turning the wheel.

The very mention of sexuality was still uncomfortable to Will, for all the time he spent with Jack. "You shouldn't talk about Elizabeth like that. She's a lady."

"Lady my arse. You know as well as I do what she does with men when she thinks no one is looking. You've been on the oh so lucky receiving end of it."

"I'm not talking about this with you."

"Oh, come off it. Elizabeth, naught a thing on beneath her shirt, all soft and pressed against you, breeches to breeches, the sea air blowing her scent around you--"

"Stop!"

"What, you think it doesn't bother me too? She doesn't think of anyone else, you know. Just you and I. And neither of us think of anyone else either. It's a cruel thing. The only thing stopping her is the indecision."

"I'm not going to listen to you talk like this. It's not right."

"Ah yes. The virtuous William. Just out of curiosity, castration aside. Have you ever even been with a woman?"

"Well, I know you've been with dozens."

"Ah yes! And what fun it's been. But you're dodging my question. You'd be a lot less uptight if you'd just go at it you know. I'd even be willing to share her if it would get you to loosen up a bit."

"How kind of you."

"What can I say mate? You're me best friend."

"Well it's not going to happen. She'll have me, or no one."

"That's what you think."

"I come bearing gifts of rum, and more rum," Jack said, finding Elizabeth hiding in his cabin. "The crew are having a bit of a party, if you'd like to come."

"What's the occasion?"

"No occasion. We're just a jolly bunch of scalawags is all. Regetti and Pintel are fans of the commedia dell'arte, and have got together a live Punch and Judy show. If you thinks puppets hittin' themselves with sticks is funny, you should see it with a pirate in a dress."

"Oh, I don't know Jack. I'm not in a very good mood tonight."

"Are you saying that Ely the Gent is too good to have fun?"

"I'm getting sick of that name. I suppose I will have to find another."

"How about Elizabeth?"

"Punch and Judy, huh?" She grabbed the bottle Jack had offered to her when he first entered the room. "That could be mildly amusing."

On deck Pintel and Regetti had cleared a makeshift stage area. Jack strutted to stand next to Will at the far side, but Elizabeth saw Mary standing at the back of the crowd, an expression somewhere between horror and amusement on his face. "They're mad, the lot of them," he told his captain a she approached.

As they watched Regetti made a flamboyant move to hit Pintel over the head with a large stick, the skirts of his pink dress flying every which way. Elizabeth drank from her bottle and passed it to Mary. "The best kind of mad," she insisted.

"You want to stay here then?"

"You didn't have to come back to me."

"I like sailing under you. And you'll need me when you get another ship. Someone you can trust." He gave her a sideways glance over the bottle. "You will be getting another ship?"

"Of course I am. What a question."

"It's just, on this ship, you seem to be at home."

She took back the bottle. Pintel, as Punch, had just tossed overboard a bundle of rags signifying a baby, bringing on a new wave of abuse from Regetti's Judy. Elizabeth watched Jack and Will as they stood side by side, laughing and clapping along with the rest of the crew.

Home.