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Chapter 18

Natalie woke in the late morning the next day. she was so exhausted with all the traveling she did over the past few days that once she actually fell asleep she was out and cold. She was just finishing up her hair as she heard a knock on her door.

"I didn't order room service," she told them again as they started to wheel the cart in ignoring her, she stood at the door slightly annoyed. She closed the door and called the front desk.

"Yes, this is Ms. Buchanan in… Yes I slept well thank you. I… I've been getting all this room service that I haven't been asking for, what? Yes, the food is wonderful but… I want to leave my room and eat in the dinning room. Yes that is my room number but I haven't been ordering it, I think its some type of mistake. Yes, I'll hold" Natalie was on hold for a few minutes, she uncovered the dishes and she smiled. They were all her favorite breakfast foods. French toast just the way she liked it with the powdered sugar on top, orange juice without pulp, a pot of coffee too.

"Yes, I'm still here, never mind. The breakfast is just perfect, thank you," she told the front desk. She pulled up a chair and began to eat her breakfast and read her paper. She finished eating and then decided to go do some gambling for a while and maybe even go visit some of the other casinos. She locked her door and was walking thru the halls unaware of his presence.

John saw her as she left her room. That was what he was waiting for. He had hoped to catch up with her in Florida but after just having surgery less than a week ago the Doctors advised him not to fly just yet. Although he hollered and got a bit pissy about it he decided to wait it out. He knew he was no good to her if he was hurt more by not listening to doctor's orders.

John continued to watch her leave and he took the key out of his pocket. Bo had helped John to set this up for her, for them. John shook his head, it seemed what a Buchanan wanted a Buchanan got, and he laughed. Bo had made arrangements for him to get an extra key to her suite.

He opened the door with his key and went inside. He then called downstairs to the front desk and asked them to please send up the stuff he had asked them to hold for him. Ten minutes later John took the bags from the hotel employees and went to work to surprise her.

Natalie entered the suite, she had been gone most of the day, it was around seven, and she wanted to shower and get ready to go out for dinner tonight. She walked into the bedroom and into the bathroom. She turned the shower on full blast not noticing anything around her. After she showered and dressed in the bathroom. She came out to get the brush for her hair over by the table near the bed when she looked at it in confusion.

There were conversation hearts all over the bed; she studied them for a minute. After a moment she noticed they spelt something out.

"On the Balcony" she said out loud, she smiled but thought this was a bit weird as she looked to the floor for the first time since entering the room. There was a trail of rose petals leading towards the balcony doors and she followed it, very confused. She opened the doors slowly and she saw him standing there.

John wore a suit and wasn't facing her. He heard her open the doors but he didn't turn. He just spoke.

"I'm not turning around cause I don't want to see your face, not yet anyway. I... I don't know if I could take seeing the anger in them if this has made you mad and I'm a bit nervous it may have but... but before you decide if you're mad or not you need to listen to me, alright?" he told her still not facing her. She didn't answer for a few minutes.

"Natalie?" he asked just making sure she didn't leave. He hadn't heard her leave but she was so silent.

"Oh, I'm aloud to talk?" she said in a tone he was insecure about. Sometimes she used that tone to kid around but other times that same tone could be used for being mad. He took a deep breath and began to tell her.

"I just want to know if it's to late. To late for a redo or to undo mistakes, all my mistakes. All the ones I've made with you" he told her and he heard her take a breath as if she was going to say something but he opened up his mouth first.

"I'm basically asking for another chance. I... I know I've asked before and no one could blame you for saying no but this time, I'm going to show you how different it is for me. How different it will be for us. All I'm asking Natalie is a chance to make it right for you, for us," he told her and he waited for a word from her. He heard her sit in a chair they had out there.

'This is ridiculous John, turn around" she told him and he did. She was dressed in a pretty short blue dress that made her eyes shine a brighter shade of blue. Her hair was still wet and wavy and he thought she never looked more beautiful.

Natalie stared into his eyes for a few minutes. She would love to just give him another chance, but...

"John... I would love to give you a chance but... but roses and puppy pajama's aren't going to be enough right now. I'm not sure what would be enough right now. As much as my heart wants to say lets give it a try, my brain is screaming no" she told him.

"Natalie. I Love you but... I'm thinking words aren't enough now. Not after all this time that has passed. I need to be able to show you that I'm in this thing too. That it's just not all about you making me better, or taking care of me. Just let me show you over this next week, please. I'll prove it to you. I'll show you that I can say it now and I can show it too." he told her and her eye's got teary. He moved closer to her put his hand out and wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks, he let his hand linger on her face.

Natalie looked up at him, this man who had the capability to hurt her more than anything else in life because she loved him so much. He had finally said t he words to her, the words she had waited so long to here years ago and that never came. But she wasn't sure they were enough. He wanted to prove it to her. She looked in thru the glass doors into the room and saw all the flowers, the roses. He was already trying to show her wasn't he, she shook her head yes and she saw him smile.

" Alright but... one thing... we take things slow this week. Have some fun like we use to and then we'll see how things went at the end of the trip," she told him and he smiled brighter. He reached in with his lips and took hers in a deep kiss. After a few minutes of kissing she pulled away.

"That's not taking it slow" she said, kidding but also proving a point. He backed away from her as he continued to look into her eyes.

"Hungry?" he asked and she smiled. "Yes, actually I am, what no room service tonight?" she asked joking now knowing he was the one to send the room service last night and this morning.

"No, I thought I'd take you out to dinner tonight, somewhere nice"

"Sounds good but... but let me ask you... why? Why send the room service?" she asked curious to why he did.

"Well... I just didn't want you out and about at restaurants here in Vegas without me. I was a bit nervous someone... might try and pick you up or something so I... Okay, I know it was wrong but I was trying to keep you in your room till I could get here." he told her his warped reasoning and she couldn't help but laugh.

"How are you? You were just shot" she asked him all serious for a minute, he took her hand and started walking them inside the french doors.

"I'm fine now, better than fine. I have you by my side" he told her, slightly sentimental and she almost couldn't believe it. Was this really John McBain? She asked herself inside.

Two hours later they were still sitting at one of the Restaurant in the Casino having dinner. They had finished eating at least an hour ago and just couldn't stop talking, catching up actually. Natalie told him story after story of the weird things that happened at the LPD over the last year. John told her of the unusual cases he worked out of the NY FBI office.

"So that Bruce guy, he seems like a handful" John told her and saw her laugh.

"A few handfuls actually" she said Joking " he's really a great guy when you get to know him, a bit of a flirt but a great guy and a really good detective. Oh... that reminds of the time he mooned a perp." she told him laughing

"What?" he asked shocked at what she had just said. She just laughed at his straight face.

"You're serious aren't you?" he asked and she couldn't stop laughing. He to start laughing too as she explained the story to him.

"You really should've seen the perps face… hell! You should've seen Carl's and my uncle's face…Priceless." she told him after concluding the story and saw his face. He looked... upset by her story of Bruce.

"John... you do know you have nothing to worry about with Bruce right, I mean Ron maybe..." she said and she smiled at him, she wouldn't be making this that easy on him, no she told herself. He was going to work for this.

"Well, when it comes to Bruce you have nothing to worry about he's gay" she said and John's mouth dropped to the floor.

"No! I didn't expect that, he certainly does seem the type," he told her and she laughed after shocking him.

"Gotcha! He's not," she told him and he smirked at being so gullible

"Oh, that wasn't nice, not at all" he told her and she laughed, the bill came, John grabbed for it before she could take it.

"John let me just put it to my room. This trip is being comp'ed or something like that, my grandfather he s--" she was trying to tell him as he shook his head no.

"No, this is a date. The man always pays on the first date" he told her matter of factly and took care of it. Twenty minutes later they were on the casino floor walking around taking in the action.

They walked in complete silence for a few minutes when he reached over and took her hand. he held it as they just observed all the action in the casino. After a little bit he turned to her.

"You wanna play slots?" he asked her and she shook her head no.

"What do you want to do?" he asked her and she stared into his blue eye's.

"Not really sure, it's late, bu-"

"You're right let's go back to our suite," he told her as they were walking but she stopped to look at him.

"Our suite?" she asked him softly but confused.

"Yeah, the hotel was sold out, I'm sleeping on the couch" he told her with a smirk, she just raised an eyebrow with her next words.

"Sold out huh? Sleeping on the couch Huh? " She told him skeptical, and she laughed.

They walked into the elevator, the very crowded elevator going up towards their suite, there wasn't much room for them to stand, and there bodies were very close. Natalie was turned around and she was facing him as he stared at her lips. He, without thinking, reached in with his and took hers in an elevator full of people.

Natalie felt his lips as she felt people pushing her a bit out of the way to exit the elevator on their floor. She was lost in his lips for a few minutes then she pulled away from him. At this point they were the only two people left in the elevator.

"You do know that kiss was a public display of affection?" she asked him kidding around and he smiled.

"Nope, it couldn't be we're all alone" he told her as she looked around and noticed he was right. She shook her "smart ass" she said as they came to there floor.

John and Natalie walked into the suite it was almost midnight, Natalie faced him.

"I had a nice time Good night John," she said as she kissed his cheek gently. She was pulling away from his cheek when he gently grabbed her arms and his lips took hers in a heated kiss. After a few minutes he released her arms slowly and backed up. Her eyes were closed for a few minutes and then she opened them to meet his gaze.

"On the couch" she told him as she pried herself away from him.

John went into the bathroom and changed into sweats for the night. He laid himself down on the couch with an extra blanket and pillow he found in the closet. He closed his eyes and his mind started to wonder off somewhere in there past.

Natalie put on her puppy pajamas and shook her head. She reminded herself she needed to ask him why puppies not kitties or could he not remember. She pulled the covers up on her but she couldn't get to sleep.

Natalie tossed from side to side as she tried so desperately to get comfortable. She tried so desperately to give in to exhaustion but she couldn't. She tried to clear her head but there was something that was bothering her, him.

She had such a good time tonight with him. He was being so cute; she had only seen bits and pieces of him like this before in the past but now. Now he was different, light even. Why? Why all of a sudden? And would it last, yeah, she told herself, it might last this week, but would it last when they got back to Llanview, and was he coming back to Llanview? He had been in NY for the past year working again for the Feds.

Natalie brought her hands to her face and rubbed her gently. She couldn't help but be doubtful of things, negative. Yeah, she told herself, he told her finally that he loved her but as important as that was there were other things important. She couldn't just let him in her life again if they wanted different things. Natalie knew he was still emotionally scared, so to speak, and would that cause him to not want the same things as her, in life. She was now more confused that ever. She told him she'd give him a week and take things from there but... but she could never settle for less again; settle on giving up on her dreams.

As Much as Natalie knew she loved him, as much as she knew she could overlook some little things, she wouldn't be unfair to herself. She wanted a husband, children, a family; she had wanted those things for a very long time. Before John McBain came into the picture and she still wanted those things to this day and no one, nothing, not even an 'I love you' from the man she loved would ever again keep her from what she wanted in life.