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Chapter 19
The next morning when Natalie woke up she went out into the living room to see him still very much asleep. She sighed when she saw him crumpled up like a ball on the small couch. She took a seat on the chair facing the couch and watched him as he slept. He was so beautiful but she knew that. He was so dark and mysterious and she knew that to. She took a deep breath in, she hoped, no she prayed, he would realize maybe he had the same dreams as her, that he wanted the same things as her again. She saw him open his eye's and she smiled weakly.
"Morning" she said as he started to get up off the couch. He stretched his arms a bit and stood.
'Morning" he said and he went over to her for a quick morning kiss. She smiled at him but he noticed her smile didn't quite reach her eyes and he worried she was having second thoughts about spending the week with him. Second thoughts about giving him this chance to make things up to her.
"Natalie... I love you," he told her and her smile got brighter, showed in her eyes this time.
"Thanks John" she told him and he smiled. "Anytime" he said giving her another quick kiss then walked into the bathroom.
A few minutes later he came out and sat across from her on the couch.
"Do you want to order breakfast or go out for it?" he asked her and she thought for a minute.
" I wanna go out for breakfast and then I'd... well... I'd like to go play some pool, if that's alright?" she asked and he got concerned for a minute. 'Did she want to go play pool by herself?' he asked himself. He was feeling a bit insecure, but he wasn't going to let it show.
"Whatever you want Natalie. We can have breakfast and then if you want to play pool that's fine. I'll just meet you later," he told her and she looked at him confused. He got up and walked away for a few minutes feeling a bit discouraged. She got up from the couch, went over to him before he was into the other room, and touched his shoulder.
"John, I meant with you, for us to play some pool together. Maybe even at the casino where the Pool tournament was all those years ago. I've never been back there," she told him and he turned slowly
"Really? I just thought maybe you need a little alone time, away from me. I thought maybe you were having second thoughts about giving me this week to undo some of my mistakes," he told her and she looked into his eyes.
"I meant it John. I meant that I would give you a chance this week and we would evaluate things after that" she told him, leaning in and kissing him gently on the lips. He pulled her waist to him and deepened their kiss. She pulled away from him and smiled.
"We need to get dressed" she told him and they both went to a different bathroom in the large suite.
Two hours later they walked into the closed off poolroom. John had arranged for them to get access to it. When they entered the room Natalie automatically went over to the wall and removed a stick. She was caught up in her thoughts, in her memories of that time in her life. In remembering that day and thinking of all that had transpired because of that day.
John saw her get lost in her head and was scared. He was afraid of what might be coming next. For a long time she had resented him because of his part in that day. He feared being here and that being together would bring up all the unhappiness in her life that followed that day, that one tournament that had changed both their lives forever.
"Wanna play?" she asked, coming out of her memories. She smiled weakly but he didn't answer her. He instead walked around the pool table then finally spoke.
"Yeah... in a few minutes but I wanna tell you something, I think I knew back then, probably the first time I laid my eye's on you at crossroads. I think I knew you were something, that you were everything. I somehow knew even then you would become everything to me," he told her. She sighed lightly as he continued.
"Damn. I used to love to watch you play. Nothing gets to you; you never choke. You focus and block the world out, and that's sort of what I'm trying to do with this week. I 'm trying to block everything out but what I feel for you and what you feel for me. I'm not sure you can understand that but that's sort of the only way I know how to explain it," he said. She nodded her head that she understood.
"My pieces fell here, that day all because of my stubborn selfish pride," she told him. He was about to say something but she spoke again first.
"But... I'm not sure it wasn't supposed to happen. I mean…you and I…I always felt connected to you, still do. Maybe… I don't know. I just don't want to talk about the tournament or think about it anymore. Its long gone, we've all moved on from it and its presence in my memories aren't that important anymore," she told him, bringing her self back into a happier state
"Now… are you ready to lose McBain?" she told him. He smiled but he had one last thing to say.
"I'm ready to beat your ass Buchanan but first… first one last thing I need to tell you. You had guts that day. You've had guts everyday of your life. Life has handed you a raw deal at almost every turn and yet… yet you still survive it, you've learned from it. Natalie… you are my hero," he told her and he smiled. He could see the tears in her eyes. He walked closer and knew he needed to lighten the mood it was too serious and that wasn't what he wanted for this week.
"Are ya gonna break or what?" he told her. She got herself back under control and they started playing pool.
Natalie and John had a wonderful rest of the day, with Natalie winning almost every game of pool they played but one. She was still gloating over her beating his ass when they went back to the suite to get ready for dinner.
Natalie was in the bedroom getting dressed when John knocked on her bedroom door.
"Hey, can I come in for a minute, if you're dressed" he asked and he heard her scream to come in. he walked in and saw her as she walked out of the adjoining bathroom. She looked so beautiful, her hair was up, and she wore a short green dress with no sleeves. She was fixing her earring when she walked out to see him looking all serious like.
"Whats up?" she asked when she saw his face.
John had wanted to ask if she minded if they just stayed in the room tonight for dinner, he wanted to spend some time just the two of them reconnecting how they use to, alone and in private. But... but just looking at how dressed up she was and beautiful she was, he knew she probably wanted to go out.
"No, Nothings up. Are you almost ready to go?" he asked
"Yep. Just about ready."
Twenty minutes later John and Natalie were waiting outside one of the best restaurants in the casino. It was crowded and it would be another fifteen minutes before they would be seated.
Natalie looked around the crowded restaurant and then looked over at John, she smirked at him a bit.
John looked at Nat's face and knew what she was thinking.
"Dinner in the suite?" she asked and he smiled more
"Was hoping you'd ask that" he told her. He took her hand, held it, and led them back to the suite.
"So... what do you want from room service?" he asked her as they walked into the suite and over by the couch. Natalie walked away from him and towards the bedroom.
"I don't know… Surprise me," she told him and went into the room to change into her PJ's.
John placed the order for dinner and then saw her walk back out in the Puppy PJ's he had sent her. He smiled as he took her in; she had her hair up in a ponytail and she looked so cute.
Natalie saw him smile and she walked over to him with a smile matching his.
"Why?" she asked him and he was a bit confused
"Why what?" he asked her back as she came closer to him. He looked into her eyes and saw her smile, her bright smile, and her beautiful face. He forgot about anything else for a minute. He just reached up and kissed her.
At first there kiss was a slow shallow kiss but then it became a bit urgent, a bit deep, and long. A deep kiss that ignited both of their temperatures. John started breathing heavy when they pulled apart for a few minutes to catch their breath.
"Why puppies and not kitties?" she asked right before he reclaimed her mouth. They continued to kiss for a few minutes when there was a knock on the door, Room service. They smiled as their lips parted and John moved to answer the door. He turned back to her to see she was now sitting at the small table in the room waiting for the food to be wheeled in.
"Never thought you much of a cat person. I figured you preferred dogs and puppies, big dogs actually. That's what I see you liking when I look at you," he told her right before he let the man with the food in.
Natalie smiled as she turned away from him. He really did know her, didn't he? Those kitty Pajamas she had back then, the ones that he remembered, Jess had bought them for her birthday. Her smile widened as he looked into her eye's after the hotel employee left the room.
"What?" he told her, now smiling even more
"I do like dogs better" she said and he laughed. He reached his hand down and took hers as he helped her up and towards their dinner.
Natalie opened the cover over the dish and smiled as she saw what he had ordered her.
"Steak, and mashed potatoes" she said with a bright smile
"Yep, your favorite, did you think I would forget something like that?" he asked now smiling as bright as her.
"No... I guess... I didn't. I'm glad you didn't," she told him as they started to eat dinner.
They finished dinner within an hour and looked at each other.
"Its only ten, did you want to go out dancing or anything?" she asked him and he saw the look on her face when she said dancing, he knew she loved to dance.
"Dancing huh?" he told her and she looked into his blue eyes.
"Whatever you want." he told her and she shook her head, " nah, its okay, not really into fighting the crowds tonight or being around a lot of people. I'm kinda enjoying it just being the two of us," she told him and he walked over to her. He put out one finger as he got an idea.
"Give me a minute," he told her and she got curious. The next thing she knew he had dimmed the lights and music was playing thru out the room. She saw John walking towards her in the living room area. He was acting all serious and held his hand out to her.
"May I have this dance?" he asked her and she took his hand. His arm came around her waist and they started to slow dance around the room.
He led her around the room. His touch on her waist as he pulled her close felt so good, so right. Her knees felt week as they continued to dance. So far this week he was definitely proving that this was about her. He was showing that this was about him caring about her and she only hoped it continued for the next two days and then when they went back to Llanview.
John's arms rested on her delicate waist. He was looked into her eyes, her beautiful eyes and couldn't believe what a jerk he had been. What a fool he was for taking her for granted for so long. He couldn't believe what an ass he was for being apart from her for a year. As he continued to look into her eyes he could see it all so clearly. The love he felt for her, the love she felt for him, their future together. For the first time in John's life he actually felt as if this was what was right, and that he would never let anything or anyone take this away from them, not ever. They were meant to be together forever and ever. He told himself as she laughed.
"What are you laughing about?" he asked her, "you, you're so serious and caught up in thought" she told him. He smiled, "yeah, I am" he told her and she could see in his eye's the desire for her, the desire she knew was mirrored in her eye's for him but... but she knew it wasn't right tonight. She just wasn't ready tonight. Natalie knew she needed to change things a bit before she did something, gave into something that she didn't think she was ready for yet.
"Wanna watch some television?" she asked and he nodded yes. They both sat on the couch and John took the remote. He started changing channels as Natalie did what felt right to her at this moment, what she wanted to do.
Natalie laid her head across his lap facing the TV and settled in, getting comfortable.
John felt her get comfortable on his lap. Her head, her arms lying on top of it and he let out a sigh. It was hard having her so close and not touching her, not making love to her but he didn't want to rush things. John wanted to leave things to her. She would set the pace and they both knew that. He smiled after he sighed. Having her snuggling on him felt so natural, he loved the way it felt. He loved how her shiny red hair cascaded down his legs. He started touching the ends of her hair. Playing with it for a few minutes when he felt her start to fall asleep.