A/N: BWUHA! I HAVE ONCE AGAIN RETURNED TO TERRORIZE THE MASSES WITH MY INSANITY AND STUPIDITY! Hey… I forgot a disclaimer last time. Oops. Anyway, I'd say I hope you liked the last chapter, and will like this one, but honestly I don't care. This is all for my own amusement. And because I have writer's block with everything else I'm working on- original work and FanFiction alike.
Double Disclaimer: The author owns nothing. Except for the stuff she made up. Ooooh, helpful, isn't it?
Hermione spent the rest of the ride on the newly clownified Hogwarts Express trying to convince Harry and Ron that she wasn't joking about the Clown Uprising of 1782. However, in between fits of laughter, they were busy eating lots of sweets and candies, and paid absolutely no attention to her. Not much of a change from normal circumstances, but still frustrating. So Hermione finally gave up and started reading her textbooks.
However, they had developed an odd habit of squirting her in the eye with shaving cream every time she opened one, or turned a page. God damned clowns, she thought bitterly.
No more clowns entered their compartment, but through the windows they could see clowns chasing students everywhere with large pies and buckets of olive oil. At least, Hermione saw this, but the boys were too busy stuffing their faces and laughing to notice.
The blissful ignorance of Misters Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley was shattered as they stepped off the train onto the Hogsmead platform. They stared around at be-whip-creamed students, along with other students gleaming with olive oil.
Clowns were everywhere.
"You were serious, weren't you, Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Of course I was!" she shouted, stomping her foot, and sending up a wave of olive oil. "Why would I joke about something like a Clown Uprising? Do you know how lethal these guys can be?"
Ron laughed at her. "Hermione, they're clowns," he said.
Hermione glared at him. "Ronald, let me paint a little mental picture for you. Hogwarts now has the equivalent of seven thousand Peeveses. Does that get the point through your head?"
Ron paled.
"Either that or 4,000 pairs of Fred and George," she continued.
Ron paled more. "Oh," he said hoarsely. "Okay."
Harry shoved his hands into his pockets. "I don't think I like Hogwarts anymore," he mumbled.
Hermione pointed up the hill to where Hogwarts was supposed to be. "But Harry… it's not Hogwarts anymore."
Upon the hill, in the place of Hogwarts, was a very large rubber ducky.
"What the hell?" Harry shouted. "A rubber ducky?"
"Yes," Hermione whispered. "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is now Rubber Ducky School of Clowncraft and Stupidity. The clowns are back. And they've taken over."
As if to emphasize this point, a clown rode by on a unicycle and threw three large key lime pies in their faces.
"What the hell?" Harry shouted again.
A/N: You know what I've decided? I'm going to keep doing short chapters. BWUHAHA!