A/N: I HAVE SOMETHING OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE TO SAY! Well, not really. I have nothing to say. So this Author's Note is really rather pointless.

Disclaimer: HEY! GUESS WHAT! NOTHING'S CHANGED SINCE LAST CHAPTER! JUST READ THE FLIPPING STORY!

"I fail to see why you just had to beat me with the rubber chickens," Hermione snapped.

"You were being a nerd," Ron explained. "It was for your own good. If we hadn't done it, someone else would have."

Hermione opened her mouth to yell at him. But someone interrupted her by screaming down the corridor, "It's the big clown balloons!"

"The big clown balloons?" Hermione repeated, confused.

A large rubber ball bounced down the hall and hit Ron in the face. Harry laughed at him. But then another ball bounced down the hall and hit Harry in the face. Harry promptly stopped laughing, mostly because the ball had inexplicably become wedged in his mouth.

Hermione stared at him, and then pulled the ball out of his mouth.

"Thanks," he said.

Parvati ran by, chased by an inexplicably animate macramé wall hanging. A clown followed her, swinging a home scanner in a wildly dangerous manner.

"This is too weird," Harry noted.

Hermione stared at him. "What was your first clue?"

Harry realized that there really was no answer to this that wouldn't make him seem like a moron, and so he led the way up to Gryffindor tower. The three managed to succesfully dodge the maniac clowns for the most part. Granted, they arrived in front of the Fat Lady in a bad state nonetheless. Harry's shirt had inexplicably turned fuschia when a clown threw some poinsettias at him, Ron was sporting a lot of paper cuts from when they had to fight their way through a flock of origami cranes that came out of a clown's nose when he sneezed, and Hermione-

Well, Hermione wasn't really affected at all. She had gotten quite good at warding things off with her rubber chicken.

So, anyway, they arrived in front of the Fat Lady in a haggard state, but not as bad as the others. There was a large blob of shaving cream in the corner that turned out to be Neville in the fetal position; Wood was trying to ward off a giant container of pumpkin juice that seemed to view him as a victorious coach and was trying to dump its contents on his head; Seamus's head was encased in a way too friendly suitcase; and the others were afflicted in the same manner, or worse.

The only people who weren't affected at all were Fred and George. Apparently their own pranking made them particularly adept at avoiding the pranks of others. Or the clowns recognized them as a sort of kindred pair of spirits, and left them alone.

"I think I'm going to enjoy myself this year," Fred said.

"Too right you are, my devious twin," agreed George. "This year will most certainly be the best ever."

Hermione looked frightened. "Tell me you're not going to continue with your high jinks now that they're here!" she said.

The twins considered for a moment. "Probably not," George said.

"But," Fred said, "we'll just really enjoy ourselves to watch complete mayhem and not have to exert any effort at all."

"And now, I think we all deserve the relative safety of our common room," George said. "Fred, the password!"

"Mimble wimble double duty bubble gum hiccups health plans summer dragon eggs," Fred said promptly.

"I'm never gonna remember that!" Neville groaned.

Fred and George smiled their identical evil grins. "Don't worry, Neville, that's not the real password," Fred said.

"Then what is?" asked Wood, who had failed to avoid the pumpkin juice vat and was now dripping pumpkin juice.

"Kerflump," the twins said in unison.

"Kerflump?" Hermione repeated. "What kind of password is that?"

"Are you saying that all the other ones we've had aren't random?" George asked.

"Well, no… but this one's worse."

"Well, we didn't make it up," George said. "So why are we standing around out here?" He walked up to the Fat Lady. "Kerflump," he said.

As she swung open, the Fat Lady was reported to have said, "Stupid clowns."

The Gryffindors flooded into their common room with relief. They were too tired to even care that all the furniture had somehow been transferred to the ceiling, and just filtered off to their dorms.

A/N: Yeah, I have had an idea of how the rest of the thing will go. Just so it has some semblance of a plot. Not the plot of any of the books, since this isn't any specific year, despite the various restrictions placed on it by who's still at Hogwarts in which year. So yeah, don't hold me to anything since Oliver's still there, and the twins and stuff. Just go with it.