Maybe I wasn't always as nice as I could possibly be. Maybe I wasn't always as strong as I could always be (hell, I know I wasn't either of those things). But at least I had the courage to say to myself, "Sakura, you useless bitch, you need to learn to kick some ass, and make up with Ino." I don't think I would have learned this lesson if Sasuke hadn't left.
I don't know why I gave up my friendship with Ino to chase after Sasuke. She was the first person to treat me nicely. She taught me a lot about people. And I turned on her. At the time, I really didn't even like Sasuke that much. I just thought he was cool, smart, and good-looking. When I ended up on his team, I was in heaven! It took awhile for us to really become a team, but as I got to know him, I realized I really did love him.
Sasuke became everything to me. All I wanted was to be able to prove my worth to him. Can you imagine my joy when he complimented my genjutsu right before the Chuunin exam? It was the greatest moment of my life!
But then something changed with Sasuke, after Orochimaru attacked us in the Forest of Death. It was my turn to protect him and Naruto, but I couldn't. I would have been killed, easily, if Lee didn't show up when he did. It was unbelievable, the way he pushed past his own physical limits to help me. I couldn't believe it. It inspired me- seeing someone so strong. It made me want to be better. I had to improve- not just to impress Sasuke. I had to do it for myself.
Sasuke scared me when he woke up. He wasn't himself. It was as if he was possessed by a demon. I learned later that he really did get possessed- by Orochimaru. It was frightening. He would have killed that Sound nin if I hadn't stopped him.
He wasn't the same Sasuke after that. He was darker- if you can believe it. That word scared me. "Avenger." The way he said it, it felt like death was speaking. It sounds crazy, but whenever he would say that word, I would be frightened.
When Sasuke left, I was heartbroken. Had I known he needed to kill a friend to get the Kaleidoscope Sharingan, I would have made him kill me that night. It frightens me to think of what he will become being with Orochimaru. Will he really become evil? Or will he still be the same Sasuke deep down? I can't stand the thought of Sasuke being a wanted S-class criminal. I can't stand it. It's the worst feeling in the world to see someone you once idolized become something so… horrible.
I hate Orochimaru for taking Sasuke away, for making him so vengeful. Before, Sasuke hated his brother, of course, but he was content to train hard to become strong. When Orochimaru cused Sasuke, he became intent on killing Itachi immediately. He lost his patience.
If I'm ever going to get Sasuke back from Orochimaru, I'll have to be strong. I used to think I was sufficient as a ninja, but my opponents severely outclassed me. I will not give up fighting until I have freed Sasuke from the darkness within him. Come hell or high water, I'll get him back.
I am Haruno Sakura. I am not just a school girl with a crush. I am not a nut just a kunoichi. I am a ninja.