A/N: This one is also for WhenDarknessRises2, sorry it took so long! Hope you like it!
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Many people would question my motives. I willingly and happily serve Zabuza, as nothing more than a tool, a mere object which he is welcome to throw away at any time. But most people have not had the life I had. It became apparent that my strength, my bloodline, which was designed to protect the country, was something feared and hated by others. To feel your strength be unwanted is hurtful enough, but to feel your strength be despised is worse than death.
Zabuza was different than everyone else. He was not afraid of me. He actually wanted my power. This made me feel needed. It gave me a purpose in life. I willingly and happily became his tool, dedicating my life to protecting his ambition. It made me very happy.
This was our bargain. I could accompany Zabuza, and better learn to use my bloodline, and in return, I agreed to be his tool. He wanted no emotional involvement. His emotions had caused him to abandon his ambitions before. In order to help him achieve his dream, I asked no feelings come between us.
Zabuza, however, did develop fatherly feelings toward me. He had ways of showing it. I had a pet rabbit once, when I was quite young, and whenever it would escape from me, Zabuza would quickly catch it and return it. He said he needed to keep me amused so I wouldn't bother him as he plotted our next move. But I knew, deep down, he cared for me, and wanted me to be happy. But I would never dream of pointing this out to him. I was afraid to even bring up the subject of feelings. I didn't want to be angry with me, to think I was being needy and demanding. I had what I needed. I had a purpose in life.
Mind you, I didn't always agree with Zabuza's ways. I found myself to be a kind-hearted person, wishing good will towards everyone. But to keep Zabuza's ambitions alive, I'd gladly kill the good inside of me, and become a true shinobi. It is only by protecting someone precious that one can become truly strong.
I never doubted my path. I knew that serving Zabuza was the only way I could feel fulfilled. Naruto, however, disagreed with me. He was very much like me. He grew up being hated, possibly even feared. He found his purpose early on though- to prove to everyone his value. By dreaming of becoming Hokage, he gave his life purpose. I had no dreams, no hopes, no goals. When Zabuza came along, I found my dream, my hope, my goal. All I wanted was for him to succeed, because that would give meaning to my life.
And, as for the pink dress- well, it was my mother's. Since my father killed her and tried to kill me, I naturally want to distance myself from him. I want to remember my mother, the way she tried to protect me. But I also want to remember the pain she bore for me. She was not allowed to use her bloodline like I was. Her purpose in life was to protect me from the hatred of our society. She, at one point in her life, served the country. But as her powers became feared, she became hated, and her services were no longer desired. Her chance to fight for something precious to her was taken away by the ignorance of her own country.
To help Zabuza obtain his ambitions, I was willing to die. The gift of purpose that Zabuza gave me was worth more than the entire world. But the fact that he cared enough for me to die with me proves that I was more than just a tool to him.
I am more than just a tool.