Miranda's Life

Can I reach out to anyone? No my heart feels as cold as the deep depths of the Atlantic Ocean. I'm really tired and the cutting of the winds of change.

Disclaimer: See Prologue

Chapter 4

Embracing my Cold Heart

Why do I even try anymore? Courtney isn't as popular as she use to be but she still has Mipsy, so what am I needed for. I don't care anymore, time has changed and I'm too slow to keep up. 'Music plays but sounds distant.' Huh? That sounds so soft and sweet, like the lullaby mommy often sang to me.

I groan and open my eyes I can't believe my eyes pictures of mom. Dad's voice turning soft and asks, "Miranda are you ok?" The small spark of joy quickly died out as soon as I felt it. I just nod and for the first time I see tears in my dad's eyes. I turn away for years I've been slowly going numb inside and now it's the total freezing point. The evening rays of the sun don't offer any heat to my cold heart. I go to work out a little after dad gets up and stares into mom's picture muttering something. I punch the bag hard about ten times and go to run 3 laps. I get all my work done in a flash and I just for the first time in a long time play a sad song on my clarinet. The soothing music helps release my cold and somewhat dark new outlook. Some tears fall as I lull myself to sleep getting lost to blues.

I wake up 20 minuets early and got ready to go to school. Instead of the camouflage clothing I decide to wear solid black clothing and my hair down. My dad gasps at me and I walk on asking, "Is something wrong sir?"

Dad just says "It just surprised me private." I take an orange and begin to eat it neatly. Before I walk out the door my dad says, "Private you and I need to talk."

I just reply, "Sir Yes sir."

Courtney walks up to the door and hugs me saying, "Miranda oh what an interesting choice of clothing."

I just nod and walk with her not saying a word. She asks, "Why weren't you at school yesterday?"

I sigh and reply, "I had an accident exercising, so I didn't make it to school."

Courtney looks at me curiously and asks, "Are you sure you're ok Miranda?"

I just look at her and give a half smile. "I'll be ok Courtney just worry about your parties and that."

She says "Well I'll need to talk to Ginger do you mind?"

I just shake my head and say "I'll just be around as usual."

Courtney and I walk in the school people suddenly stop as I walk by. I just give a half smile and walk on eyes are glued on my pure black ensemble. I hear whispers but don't bother to react in my usual violent and shouting ways. Mipsy asks, "Miranda nice look where did you get it?"

I just shrug and answer casually, "Just found it in my closet nothing really special."

As the day progress on I just seem to shadow through it but I hear teachers ask, "Is she having problems at home? Or what has caused Miss Kilgalen to become a gothic looker?"

At lunch Ginger walks over and my face remains indifferent, but I don't shout at her. She walks over in a defensive manner and asks, "Um Miranda are you . . . going to Courtney's house?"

"No I have things to do." I answer gently as possible.

Ginger looks shell shocked and ventures, "Um well she really wants you to come, Mipsy went home sick this afternoon."

I just take a bite and answers icily "Why she has you doesn't she?"

Ginger sighs and says, "She is worried about you Miranda and so am I you're colder than usual. The old you would show some emotion but now you're just really cold."

"Tell me this Fautly who cares? Courtney has you and Mipsy can find some more friends. You even have your own friends too so when you can answer me talk to me again." Ginger's face turns pale as the moon, and looks at me. Those words were cold I know but its how I feel. She tries to answer but it becomes uncompleted sentences or half said words. She finally walks away and I finish my lunch alone without looking up. After lunch I make my way in gym, and I'm almost excited about exercising. As I walk in the doors guys gave approving whistles to my outfit and choice of color. I just ignore them and get my gym clothing on without a word. We continue kick ball today but my team didn't win. For the first time I don't care usually I would yell and try to encourage my team. I make it home and just get straight to work on my chores, without any complaints. I feel tears burning behind my eyes, 'DON'T CRY TOUGH GIRLS DON'T CRY! NO ONE CARES FOR YOU ANYWAY! SUCK IT UP!' Dad isn't home but I still see mommy's pictures she looks so strong. She has pretty purple hair, tan skin and violet eyes they're full of life. A tear creeps out of my right eye and falls on her picture. 'I miss you mom but maybe I'm meant to be just a dark child. Why waste my voice and people who don't care?'

'I Do Dear Heart.'

My heart skips a beat and I look around but no one is in the house except me. I shake my head and clean up the house more. Suddenly I feel a soft hand on my shoulder and I stop for a minuet. "I'm hearing and feeling things." I just lay down on my bed but I feel someone looking at me. I shiver under the cover but the hand is so gentle on my forehead.

"Who are you?"

"You'll know in time dear heart just rest for now."

I just fall asleep and let my head drift on the dusted night sky. I actually smile which is one thing I haven't done in a long time.

Another one of my dark chapters I hope this one is also good. I've been getting into my darker side for some reason but things may get lighter.

Mr.04: Thank you for your review I hope my review I left you doesn't insult you. Just trying to give some constructive criticism from one author to another anyway I hope I earn another review from you.