After a breif wait, Chapter Four has arrived! And with it comes a hell of a lot of insanity. Blood shall be spilled...
Krazy Kai
Chapter Four: A Farmer's Stealth
Jack was only focused on one object—the allegedly cursed purple bandana. The young farmer had painted himself from head to toe in blue paint that matched his clothes. And if he had jumped into the sky, he would go undetected.
His plan was to jump from rooftop to rooftop, just like in those crappy action films he saw back in the city. But being a rookie farmer and not a trained ninja, his backflips often sent him crashing to the ground in agony.
But Jack tried to avoid backflips. Nothing could mess up his plan. He'd catch the cursed man off guard and cut the bandana in two of Kai's head. No plan could be simpler.
Well, so he thought, anyway. The plan went smoothly for a little bit. Jack jumped easily from house to house, but while trying to reach the mayor's mansion he almost missed! He gripped the tiled roof tightly, praying that no one could see him. Thankfully, he pulled himself up before that could happen. It would have been rather odd for a villager to see a Smurf-like being trying to jump on top of a house.
Suddenly, he saw the three local children, Kent, Stu, and May, run towards town square. He could only see the tops of their heads from where he stood, but it was obvious that it was them.
"Huh?" muttered Jack. "I don't think there's a festival today…" Jack took a schedule from his pocket. Nothing was planned. "Weird…"
Suddenly, some one left the Town Square. They must have scheduled something and forgot to invite me… Jack thought. But the top of this person's head was purple! It just had to be Kai!
The ninja (as he claimed to be) jumped from the mansion's roof, scythe in hand. As he fell, he smirked at the victory that kept getting closer every inch he fell.
Shick! Jack sliced the purple bandana in two, causing bits of cloth to drop onto the ground. Also dripping to the ground was a little bit of blood. That wouldn't have been a problem, since the curse was supposed to be broken.
But this was the mayor.
The clown-like man was lying on the village ground, bleeding a bit. Bits of his new bandana were stained red. He just muttered, "I…shouldn't…have…started…the…Purple…Bandana Festival…" before fainting.
In some villages, crime is so rare that police forces do not exist. In such communities, disputes are settled by angry mobs. Jack cursed under his breath. Soon enough, a purple bandana-clad mob appeared in front of him.
The priest tossed off his bandana and said, "These caused nothing but trouble!" The other villagers removed their bandanas and stomped on them as well.
"You know what this means…?" asked the shipper. "Lessee… Basil's turn, I believe."
The botanist approached Jack, holding a baseball bat. Since baseball was rarely played in this village, it was often called 'instrument of pain and suffering'. And Jack now knew why it was called that. Basil's pink haired daughter took snapshots with her camera. But eventually, the blue paint was removed and Jack's identity was revealed.
"J…Jack!" exclaimed Popuri. "But…why? Why would you attack our mayor?"
Gray shook his head and turned away. "What the hell's the matter with you? You just like to start fights, is that it?"
"Shit…" groaned the farmer. "But I swear-I had good intentions!"
"That's what every criminal says," spat Gray. "Well…I think so. But at least one-eighth of them say it!"
And one-eighth was, coincidentally, the amount of Jack's flesh that was covered in bruises and blood. Jack didn't have the time for irony or math, because he was still getting the tar beat out of him.
By the end of the day, Jack couldn't move at all. He had to wait for the rain to loosen the soil for him to slide back home. No one bothered to look at him.
But that wouldn't discourage Jack. After a few hours, he managed to suck up bits of potion left on the grass from when he spilled it. When he woke up, that gave him the basic ability to walk, but it was a start.
But when he was still asleep, a strange dream floated into his mind…
A little girl was sitting in a dark room, crying.
"Daddy, I'm sorry!" she cried. "I promise never to light your crops on fire again… It was just out of anger, daddy."
A round light appeared in the wall. Suprisingly, a young boy appeared in front of the girl. He extended his hand toward her, and he pulled her up.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes…thank you…"
After waking, Jack thought of that dream as a scene from a "good citizenship" movie from third grade. But that wouldn't matter. He was going to the vineyard.
This time, he would certainly catch Kai and knock off the bandana once and for all! Instead of cutting it off, which did more harm than good (…well, no good), he would instead just pull it off.
Jack selected the tree by the vineyard to be his spying place. It brought back old memories. But it was a double-edged sword.
On one hand, the tree was an ideal place to spy. On the other hand, failure meant falling and injuring body parts of varying importance. Oh well. He survived worse…
…Barely.
He climbed up the tree branches up onto the top. Kai and Karen were walking back from the mountain. Jack pushed away the leaves. If Kai tried to kiss her, he'd jump down and rip that goddamned bandana straight off his head.
...Er, for the sake of being a good citizen.
They started to kiss. Of course, the farmer was outraged.
"WHAT THE HELL!"
Oops. That shout was loud enough to catch Kai's attention. There was no way Jack could escape from the tree in time. Bwak! A few grapes were tossed at his head with incredible speed. Injured, the farmer fell out of his hiding spot and onto the ground.
"You damned spy…" muttered the man in the purple bandana. "It's time for you to stop acting like a wannabe ninja!"
He tried to punch Jack while he was on the ground, but Jack jumped up and climbed halfway up the tree. Just like his pet cat did back in the city.
"COWARD!" Kai jumped up and swung his fist at the farmer once more. "I knew that a lousy farmer like you could never show any courage!" He hit Jack again. "All you can do is attack while hiding! That's all you can do!"
Jack's eyes narrowed. He had never confronted him. He always hid on roofs or trees or some other ridiculous hiding place.
BWASH!
Karen's jaw dropped. Jack kicked his enemy across the face, his mouth forming a sinister smile. The farmer reached for the bandana, knowing it would all be-
"…uck…Ugh…"
"Attack anyone in this town and I'll burn down your crops," Kai spat.
Kai had just kicked Jack in the gut, hard enough to cause bleeding. The city boy was flung backwards into several plants. Jack was annoyed, since he was trapped in the bushes. He was too weak to climb out by himself.
But fortunately, luck was somewhat on his side. There was a Power Berry hidden under some of the leaves, where grapes should have grown. Jack just ate it. It was better then sucking up drops of potion spilled on blades of grass.
Within ten seconds, the power of the berry (…shut up, it was the best I could think of) began to flow through Jack's bloodstream. He smashed through the bush, with pieces of it flying. That would have looked awesome in slow-motion.
…Damn!
By the time he had escaped, so did his opponent. All that was left was Karen, sitting on the steps of her house.
"You are one screwed up boy," she commented. "I've always wanted to go to the city, but are the people there as insane as you?"
"No, they're worse," Jack answered, before realizing the insult. "Oh… What was I thinking, anyway?"
"You're asking me?" The girl looked at the path towards the village. "You know, there's still a bloodthirsty mob out there. And your so-called 'good intentions' won't save you."
"But I was gonna--"
"—Kill Kai?"
"…Well…You see, the bandana--"
"—Is purple?"
"…Well…Yes, and…well…possessed."
Karen burst into laughter and pointed at the farmer. "You've got to be going insane! No one would believe that load of-"
"It was Jeff's idea," muttered Jack. "See, two people believe it."
"Wow," she replied sarcastically. "I'm sure the old man still thinks well. Ha. My grandpa lost his mind at Jeff's age."
"AGAIN WITH THE AGE!" Jeff shouted from behind a bush. To throw off suspicion, the bakery owner added, "Uh…Again-ay ith-way e-thay age-ay…"
Despite knowing he wasn't a Harvest Sprite, the two ignored him. Jack sighed and walked up to the cellar.
"Get away from there!" spat Karen. "No one said you could go there!"
"There's probably a clue in there to prove my point!" shouted Jack, opening the door. "I mean, he works here all the time!"
"GET AWAY!"
She jumped at him like a rabid attack dog. The force both of them down the stairs, and, by a strange coincidence, a raccoon slammed the door shut with its large tail.
Jack stared at the closed door and looked out the window. Everything was locked. Only a barrel of alcohol and a packet of corn seeds were available to eat or drink.
"ACK!" he exclaimed, curling up into the corner. "I'm dead! I'm going to die…."
"Hey, I'm in danger of starving too," spat Karen, sitting in the opposite corner. "Not many people come down here. And you just damned us both to an early death."
"Sorry…" Jack moaned. "I didn't mean to drag you into this too."
"Just like when I was seven," the young woman said.
"What?"
"I was locked in here when I was a kid. My dad was punishing me, the drunken bastard. Then some kid came in from some secret entrance and helped me escape."
"…Wow, you'll never believe this, but that sounds exactly like a movie I saw!"
OMG JacKZ lOcKeD IN the CelLAR wiTH KARen!one!1one!1 Yep, just like the game. Except that in the game, it takes a yellow heart to get the dream event. Oh well. The game never had ninja-farmer, either. P