This chapter is longer than any before it. And yes, the drool at the end of chapter 6 did, in fact, talk.

Disclaimers: I do not own Sonic The Hedgehog. He is owned by Sega. I do not own Pac-Man. He is owned by those bastards at Namco, who keep giving Sony all of the Tales series games, even though Nintendo deserves them more. I also do not own Yuji Naka. He is owned by Satin, who is a Sony fan.

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Chapter 8

A Tormented Echidna & A Sleep Deprived Pac-Man

The day after the 'incident' at ALSNH, Sonic and the others decided to go to Angel Island. Eventually, after taking a detour through Mushroom Hill they arrive at (According to the map in SADX) the Alter of Emerald.

"Hey Sonic! Look at that!" Tails shouted.

"Look at what?" Sonic asked.

"THAT!" Tails yelled, pointing to a certain red echidna, who was starring blankly at the Master Emerald.

"Knuckles!" Sonic shouted, as he ran up to him. "Knuckles! Yoo-hoo! Hello!" Sonic shouted up Knuckles's nose, as he waved Knux's hand in front of his eyes.

"Uhhnn... Gwaa... Taagaa…" Knux responded, moaning like a zombie.

"What did you call me!" Sonic yelled, thinking he was being insulted.

"Oh, hi Sonic. I'm trying to figure out why the Master Emerald is green." Knuckles said.

"What! You know very well that you're not allowed to think!" Sonic said, shocked.

"What? Who says I'm not allowed to think?" Knuckles asked.

Sonic took a deep breath. "TIKAL! HE'S THINKING AGAIN!" he yelled so loud that dogs went deaf.

Then, an orange ball of light comes out of the Master Emerald. It then turned into Tikal. "KNUCKLES! How many times must I tell you that thinking will make your brain grow!" she said as though Knux had just committed the worst crime imaginable. Then she slapped him so hard that his head got stuck in the ground.

Eventually, Knuckles got his head unstuck. "At last! I've done it!" he announced with pride.

"Done what?" Tikal asked.

"I know why the Master Emerald is green! It's green because-" Knuckles started to say.

But before he could finish, Cosmo had cast Judgment, for no reason. Countless beams of divine destruction fell from the sky. Then, defying the laws of Cruxis, each beam hit the Master Emerald, causing it to shatter into a million pieces.

"AHHHH!" Knuckles screamed, as he jumped of the island after the pieces.

"Hey, does anyone know where Peaches went?" Shadow asked, but everyone ignored him.

Tikal and Cosmo looked at each other and sighed.

"That was close." Tikal said.

"Yes, I'm aware of that." Cosmo said. "If Knuckles had discovered the truth…"

"Yeah," Tikal said, "he'd be as mad as the author is about the fact that Sega isn't putting all of the Sonic games on Nintendo systems, if he found out that the Master Emerald is just a big rock with green spray-paint."

Meanwhile, Knuckles was falling through the sky. "(sigh) I wonder if I'll EVER be able to collect all those pieces again?" he thought to himself. Then, suddenly, he had discovered that he had entered a Sonic Advance special stage.

Then, a 3-D, computer representation of Yuji Naka's head appeared. "Collect 1 ring." he commanded, as he floated by Knuckles.

"Only ONE ring?" Knux asked.

"Yes, just ONE gold ring." responded the floating one.

"Piece of cake!" Knux said with cockiness.

"Well then, good luck!" Naka said. He then opened a plot hole, pulled out a cell phone, and dialed a number with his tongue. "Hmm, let's see, 1-800-I-EAT-DOTS." he mumbled to himself.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Pac-World. Pac-Man was trying to get some well deserved sleep...on a bed of nails, and then the phone rang. He stumbled out of bed, "WHAT!" he yelled into the phone.

"Hello, is this Pac-Man?" Naka replied through the phone.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU WANT!"replied Pac-Man.

"Is your refrigerator running?" Naka asked.

"I'll go check the God damn thing!" stated Pac-Man. He literally dragged himself into the kitchen. "Uhh… it isn't running per se'. It's walking out the door, wearing a cloth over its face, and it has a machine-gun strapped to its back and its saying "I am going out to slaughter 10,000 innocent American refrigerators, in the name of God." in Arabic." Pac-Man said, obviously hallucinating from a severe lack of sleep... Or was he?

"…... Uhhh... Well then, I think you should call 1-800-SONIC-IS-BLUE-KNUCKLES-IS-RED-TAILS-IS-ORANGE-EGGMAN-IS-UGLY-AND-SEGA-IS-THE-GREATEST-MOST-AWESOMEST-VIDEO-GAME-COMPANY-EVER-CREATED-ONLY-BECAUSE-OF-SONIC-AND-ALL-OTHER-SEGA-GAMES-EXCEPT-NIGHTS-INTO-DREAMS-SUCK." suggested Naka.

Pac-Man then hung up and dialed the ridiculously long, made-up phone number.

Back in the special stage, "What the heck was that all about!" Knuckles asked Naka, who disappeared without saying anything. Knux continued to fall for what seemed like 10 seconds. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed as a ring the size of 30 Jupiters flew at him. Then, do to unknown forces, Knuckles somehow remembered an event that didn't happen.

-IMAGINARY FLASH-BACK-

Knux and Blaze were sitting somewhere doing nothing.

Then, do to his utter lack of reasoning, "Hey Blaze, are you related to that fat cat Big?" Knux asked idiotically.

"WHAT...DID...YOU...SAY!" yelled the cat, striking fear into the heart of Knuckles.

"I…er…uhhh… A-are you a big fat cat?" Knux asked, assuring certain death.

"GUARDS!" (A/N: magnify that 100 times) Blaze yelled so loudly that Knux went deaf.

Then, a bunch of lawn-gnomes entered the room, "What do you wish of us my queen?" asked a Guardn' Gnome.

"PUNISH HIM!" (A/N: magnify that 200 times) Blaze commanded. The Guardn' Gnomes inflicted 'canned-beat-up' upon Knuckles.

"OWW-OWW-OWW!" Knux moaned in pain.

"OH, YOU WANT MORE, DO YOU!" (A/N: magnify that 300 times) Blaze asked menacingly, with a look of menacing menacingness in her eyes.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Knux screamed in agonizing agony, as the enraged queen turned into a fireball, and opened his mouth to the size of 31.7525 Jupiters.

-END IMAGINARY FLASH-BACK-

"That's it!" Knux thought to himself. "Hey Blaze! If you can hear me I just want you to know…YOU'RE A BIG FAT BLIMP!"

Then, a portal from another dimension opened, and a flaming cat flew out of it. "KNUCKLES! YOU BUTT-FACE! " (A/N: magnify that 500 times) Blaze yelled.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Knux screamed, as Blaze set a new record for opening his mouth, 1000.123 Jupiters, and then disappeared. "I can't possibly miss it now!" Knux thought to himself. The edges of his mouth were scraping the edges of the tunnel. The ring, now comparatively small, flew right into his mouth and choked him.

"CONGRATULATIONS! You've won two Chaos Emeralds!" yelled Naka's head, popping out of nowhere. The Chaos Emeralds fly into Knuckles' eyes. Upon contact, his eyes inflate like air-bags. "And that's not all. As a special deal we'll throw in 1000 tons of dirty cat litter, courtesy of the author's cats!" Knux screamed for 10 chapters, as the dirty cat litter flew, unavoidably, into his mouth. Then, as Knux exited the special stage, Naka ranted something about himself being 'The True Ultimate Lifeform', and then exploded.

Eventually, Knux found his destiny in a bowl of alphabet soup. And then he splashed into the ocean, and began searching for his shiny green rock. He found it. And then he started looking for the Master Emerald pieces. "Emmy? Where are you Emmy?" he called the emerald's nick-name, as he swam around in the water directlyunder the now emeraldless Angel Island. He looked up the definition of asparagus, and then looked up into the sky.

SPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! The no longer floating island crashed down on top of Knuckles, and pushed him to the sea floor.

Meanwhile, in a cornfield somewhere, a deranged cow was making crop circles…

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Me: The next chapter is part 2 of this chapter.

Tails: But, it's a different chapter.

Shadow: DEATH TO ALL WHO OPPOSE ME!

Me & Tails: Uh-oh! RUN!

Shadow: CHAOS BLAST! (destroys computer)

Computer: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...